Flow, Don’t Fight Your Way to Healing

Flow, Don’t Fight Your Way to Healing


Embrace Your Power in Narcissistic Abuse Recovery: Flow, Don’t Fight Your Way to Healing – Use the law of attraction to your advantage in your healing process. Getting through a relationship with someone with NPD is challenging enough – if you want real personal development, you’ve got to stop fighting and start flowing into your personal truth and your personal power. Manifest the life you want using the law of attraction (the secret) manifestation technique that begins with FLOWING!

Why do bad things happen to good people if the law of attraction works?

Why do bad things happen to good people if the law of attraction works?


How can I believe in the law of attraction when I’ve been through narcissistic abuse? Better yet: Why do bad things happen to good people if the law of attraction is real? 

How to Use the LOA to Overpower a Narcissist’s Attempts to Control Your Emotions

How to Use the LOA to Overpower a Narcissist’s Attempts to Control Your Emotions

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This is how you can use a very simple concept (the law of attraction) to overpower and overcome a narcissist‘s emotional abuse. Don’t let them control your emotions any more!

Why Narcissists Love to Rage – The Psychology of Narcissistic Rage

Why Narcissists Love to Rage – The Psychology of Narcissistic Rage

“No one can tell you all that love is, but I can tell you what it isn’t. One thing that I’ve found to be true is that REAL LOVE doesn’t hurt – at all.  And when you are hurting, it’s not from a place of love! Don’t confuse the two.” ~Tony Gaskins, Jr. on Toxic Love, The Daily LoveHow to Understand Narcissistic Rage

Understanding Narcissistic Rage

If you’ve ever lived with, known, or loved a narcissist, you have likely been the victim of narcissistic rage, a term first introduced in a 1972 book entitled The Analysis of the Self.

This kind of rage manifests when a narcissist vents his frustration when their ego takes a hit. Since narcissists have an inflated level of self-importance, they often find it hard to deal with criticism, real or perceived. So, if you or someone else happens to insult the narcissist’s fragile ego, you can expect a serious backlash – and it’s not going to be pretty.

If you’re currently in a toxic relationship involving a narcissist, it’s important that you understand these narcissistic rages and why they happen – and even if you’ve already left your narcissist, it might help you to understand WHY you were treated the way you were – because truly, it wasn’t (and ISN’T) your fault.

What is narcissistic rage?

Often coupled with narcissistic injury, narcissistic rage is used by a narcissist when they know they’re wrong but won’t admit it, or when they don’t get what they want, or when people don’t treat them different or more special than others, or when their sense of entitlement is threatened – anytime things don’t go their way. This is when narcissists get inconsolably angry in an attempt to bully or coerce you into giving them what they want.

Why causes a narcissist to rage?

Psychologists have identified several typical causes for narcissistic behavior and personalities, including a general obsession with self, often gained through certain experiences during childhood. They often have an addiction to anger, and as they rage, it’s often because of a blow to their inflated sense of self-esteem.

They may often make self-deprecating statements, no doubt silently begging you to disagree with them and tell them how amazing, beautiful, wonderful, and perfect they REALLY are…and when you don’t, the rage could begin.

As I said, a narcissistic rage often launches when narcs become defensive because they think you’re insulting them (or if you attempted to communicate a problem or concern about your relationship with one). They may also be caused when a narcissist finds himself feeling unfulfilled and blames the victim/target for that feeling. The narcissist feels powerful when they rage at you, and they’re not likely to stop until their requirements are met – or until they get bored or tired of it.

What if the narcissist doesn’t get what they want when they rage?

As we’ve previously discussed, narcissists believe that by appearing perfect, they can get the love, admiration, attention, and/or respect they feel they deserve. But when they think that someone feels they’re “not perfect” or “not good enough,” they often find themselves feeling shameful or anxious. Sometimes this can manifest as guilt or anger.

In any case, when a narcissist’s self-esteem takes a hit, they might react in a number of ways on a broad spectrum—anywhere from just being mildly irritated all the way to having seriously explosive tantrums that can even become violent in some cases.

This kind of “narcissistic injury” causes the narcissist to need to destroy the perceived threat to his self-esteem, and by raging against the offender/victim, the narcissist is able to feel safe and powerful again—and like he or she has total control over the environment.

What is narcissistic injury?

Narcissistic injury is displayed when a narcissist gets upset, hurt, or offended about being treated like a normal person, or when they don’t get special treatment or favors, or literally anytime they don’t get what they want. In most cases, this is a manipulation tactic often used in combination with narcissistic rage to get what they want from a target. It can also be a clear indication of the narcissist’s struggling self-esteem, but most often, it’s simply a type of “victim act” used to get what they want.

Are there different types of narcissistic rage?

There are three primary types of narcissistic rage, including explosive rage, passive-aggressive rage, and rage that causes self-harm.

Explosive Narcissistic Rage

An explosive rage happens when a narcissist has a violent outburst, whether it’s physical or verbal. This is the most obvious kind of narcissistic rage, but since the narcissist usually uses this type of rage behind closed doors, only those closest to the narcissist actually see it. However, in rare cases, the narcissist may explode in public (think: your average “Karen,” for example).

Passive-Aggressive Narcissistic Rage

Narcissists express passive-aggressive rage as a way to passively punish you. They might do this by ignoring you, by being blatantly rude, or even by doing nice things for another person and flaunting them in your face. In any case, you’ll know it’s happening, and the narcissist will feel perfectly fine with telling you you’re crazy and pretending they’re not doing anything at all. In some cases, they might even be so bold as to inform you of your infraction and require you to submit to the punishment willingly in order to make your way back into their good graces.

Self-Harm and Narcissistic Rage

When a narcissist manifests his rage through self-harm, you might not understand what’s happening. It doesn’t seem consistent with the narcissist’s personality– but it DOES get them plenty of attention. Some narcissists have been known to cut, burn or even stab themselves, among other extreme self-injuries, during a narcissistic rage.

Have you been the victim of a narcissistic rage? How did you handle it? What would you tell a friend or loved one who was dealing with a narcissist on a regular basis? 

Start Getting Help with Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Today

The good news is that you’re not alone here. Online help is readily available for survivors of narcissistic abuse. Here are some options to begin healing from narcissistic abuse right away.

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I Can’t Believe I Really Cut It All Off – 25 Inches GONE!

I Can’t Believe I Really Cut It All Off – 25 Inches GONE!

I Cut It All Off – 25 Inches GONE!

Before

Before

I have had long hair for about 11 years. When I say long I mean all the way down to my butt long.  

I would get it trimmed every once in a while but I hated cutting it.

 One day my daughter and I were discussing front bangs and I told her how didn’t like them and would never get them.

Before

Before   

Of course she had to disagree with me and started browsing through google and trying to find a photo of a woman with straight bangs that I would love.

Now she has this need to convince me that she is right and bangs are rockin’! After about 15 minutes of showing me photos she comes across one and I am immediately in love.

I look over at her and throw her phone back across the room to her waiting hand. Smiling I tell her to call our hair dresser because I am getting my first real hair cut in 11 years. Bangs even! She is more than over joyed!

Before

Before

So after making the appointment and posting on social media for 3 days about how I’m going to take the plunge the day arrives.

I woke up with my hair wrapped around my neck/head for the last time!

No more having to wake up and move my hair to roll over in the middle of the night! No more having to wear hair clips just to bend over and see something.

No more having to hold my head away from chairs and car seats because my hair is too long and I have to keep it up so I don’t sweat to death. No more split ends and not wanting to cut them off. No more hot neck. No more hot back! No more hot sweaty days simply because I didn’t bring a hair tie.

No more having to worry about my hair breaking or making sure I give it nutrients to grow long. No more expensive hair spray to hold a heavy long curl. No more having to use hot rollers twice just to get a curl to stay half the day. No more having to have a hair clip in the shower just to wash it all.

No more smacking people in the face with hair when I move it off my shoulders or when just sitting in a car. No more your hair takes up more room than you in the pool. OMGosh NO MORE LONG HAIR!

Before

Before

I was super excited and way overwhelmed all at the same time. Making such a big life change was CRAZY but I was tired of all that HAIR!

After

After

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