“Women marry men hoping they will change. Men marry women hoping they will not. So each is inevitably disappointed.” ~Albert Einstein
Men, we love you. We really do. But seriously, you’re not the only ones who have a few complaints about the opposite sex. In response to the recent AskMen.com article entitled Top 10: Annoying Things Women Do, I present to you the top 12 most annoying things men do. I tried to stick with 10, but I ended up with this dirty dozen instead.
I want to hear what you think, too! If you have thoughts on this or items you think should be added, I’d love it. Leave me a comment, below, with your thoughts. I promise to respond personally.
Now, on with the show!
Top 12 Most Annoying Things Men Do in Relationships (According to Women)
1. Refuse to Commit to Stuff (to Anything, Ever)
Whether you’re on a first date or you’ve been married 25 years, men seem to have issues with commitment. We all know how some guys refuse to commit to even being in a relationship, but even those who do sometimes can’t commit to the most basic things. Example: often times I try to get my husband to commit to a particular activity at a particular time, but he prefers to keep his options open. Like when I ask him to watch an episode of Breaking Bad with me after dinner (yeah, we’re re-watching it because we loved it that much) and he says he’s not sure – maybe he’d rather play a video game. Grr.
2. Have Double Standards (But Pretend They Don’t)
You know what I’m talking about. They will insist on some rule in the relationship or home (don’t date other dudes, don’t eat in the living room, etc.), but they will break it and expect you to be totally fine with that.
Like they expect you to listen to their stories from top to bottom (and to be prepared for a pop quiz at the end), but they can’t offer the same courtesy. Sure, they’ll fake it a little while you’re dating, but once they’ve got you (i.e. you’re married or in a long-term relationship), you’ll see very quickly that they forget how to listen.
It’s not their fault, exactly, it’s kind of how they’re wired. Best practices to be heard, women: say only as much as you have to say and skip specific details unless he asks.
3. Think It’s That Time of the Month (Anytime We Get Emotional)
Okay, here’s the deal. Women, like men, are hormonally charged at different levels throughout the month. And women are, by nature, more emotional than men (in general—but there are plenty of examples of the opposite on both sides).
But to assume that she’s on her period every time a woman gets pissed, upset or otherwise unpleasant is just asking for a beatdown. Proverbially, most of the time, but still. Stop that.
4. Talk to the Boobs (Even When the Face is Listening)
This one is annoying, but it can also be amusing if you want to look at it that way. See, men are biologically programmed to be interested in and to “check out” woman’s reproductive potential, whether or not they actually intend to act on the findings. Generally, they don’t (especially when they’re happily married) but they still can’t stop themselves from talking to your boobs (which are, obviously, one of the most prominent signs that you are a fertile female). It’s funny, right?
But men, next time you’re talking to a woman, know that we watch your eyes and we expect a little eye contact. Save the globe-gazing for sneak glances when we look away, okay?
5. Fart, Burp, Spit, Etc. (Sometimes in Public)
We know that everybody farts and burps, but we don’t want to smell it or hear it or think about it—and especially not in public.
And, seriously, snot rockets are never okay, buddy, so just stop. Would you like it if we girls walked around all day spitting and blowing various bodily fluids and gasses from all of our orifices?
How would you like it if we crop dusted you at the office? You’d be grossed out too. Stop it, man, just stop it.
6. Adjusting Your Junk (Again, Sometimes in Public)
I don’t know how you guys walk around with all that external genitalia, but I feel for you. Still, that doesn’t give you permission to openly reach in and jangle around your business while we’re in public . I promise they won’t go anywhere.
Speaking of junk, the same goes for scratching it when people are looking. Be discreet, for crap’s sake. Imagine if women walked around digging in their treasure troves. (Okay, stop imagining that – I forgot you guys’ minds spend a lot of time in the gutter!)
7. Selectively Listen (And Only Hear Food, Sex and “Me”)
We might tell you that we need you to take out the trash and walk the dog, but all you heard was “I’m going out for a couple hours so it’s time for you to veg out in front of the PlayStation and play your new hockey game.”
Is this because you don’t want to do it? Because you aren’t interested in what we have to say? Women are definitely more detailed and expressive in their conversations than men, but you can’t listen at all?
A tip for my fellow ladies: men are significantly more likely to listen to anything you have to say if you can associate it with food, sex or anything that is directly related to them and their interests. So next time you need him to get something done, maybe you can throw some zingers in there. Wink wink!
8. Become Huge Babies When They’re Sick (And Sometimes Otherwise)
I don’t know many men who aren’t giant babies when they’re sick. It’s just part of who they are, I think, and maybe it’s most often men whose mommies took extra special care of them when they were sick as kids.
Here’s the deal, boys. We don’t mind taking care of you when you’re sick, but this whole “poor me” whiny baby thing? SOOOO not attractive. Quit it. Just be sweet to us, thank us for all we do for you. And then shut your mouth, close your eyes and take a damn nap while we go do something else. We are busy!
9. Eye-Screw Other People (Even When They Don’t Mean It)
So listen up, men. Women think too much, care too much and often try too hard to be perfect. Maybe that’s part of why we are well-aware that you look at other women. We also know that it’s part of your human maleness and that you can’t help it. But our defensiveness of you and our relationship when it comes to other women is part of our human femaleness—it’s built into our DNA.
Before you get your hopes up and think we’ve evolved too much, know that women aren’t ever going to be totally fine with you ogling or being into other women. But good news: there are some things that you could do to take the sting out of it.
For example, don’t let us see it, and if we catch you, do or say something to make us feel more secure. (Hold our hand, put your arm around us—tell us how much prettier we are. Whatever—just read the room!)
10. Send Dick Pics
Even though most married guys don’t send unsolicited dick pics, some of them do. And plenty of idiot single guys do. As a married woman, I have received a surprising amount of dick pics from near-strangers. And I’m married and nearly 40. I cannot imagine what my single counterparts are going through.
Men—don’t send us a picture of your penis or any other naked body part unless we ask you to do so. And if you really feel motivated to send one but we haven’t asked? Please ask first. PLEASE.
We aren’t as visually stimulated as you are, and honestly, some women even find penises unattractive. (SOME women.)
11. Sticking Us in Those “Girl” Boxes (Because We’re Pretty, Sexy or Otherwise Appealing to You)
Dude, just because I’m a blonde and I like to dress it up doesn’t mean I am stupid or less than you. I can’t believe I have to keep saying this – it’s 2015 for crap’s sake. But let me remind you one more time: we do not fit into neat little stereotyped boxes. We’re like onions, but less stinky.
Just because your girlfriend or wife embraces her femininity doesn’t mean she’s not smart. Or, if she’s a mechanic and comes home dirty every day? She can still be sexy and femininine.
Just because a woman is a stay-at-home or work-at-home mom doesn’t mean she sits around and eats bon-bons all day. I’d like to see you try do do what they do all day and still have time to take a leisurely poop. Just kidding. Well, sorta.
My point? Just stop putting us in those boxes, guys. We are just as multifaceted as you, if not more so. Give us credit where it’s due.
12. Never Notice Anything (Literally)
It doesn’t matter if we’ve painted our living room or completely changed our hair, if men not in the right frame of mind, they just won’t notice. This is again part of their human maleness, but it still makes us feel crazy.
Ladies, try pointing out the things they need to notice. Yeah, it might be annoying, but at least you’ll get a little validation out of the deal. And men? Don’t forget to notice stuff, okay?
Well, there’s my 12 most annoying things men do. What would you add to the list of most annoying things men do? Share your thoughts in the comments section below or on our Facebook page.
Editor’s Note: Forgive me while I step outside of my usual blogging habits today, but I feel that this one’s important enough to share with every woman who ever doubts herself and her relationship. This post is an open letter to Lauren Pinkston, the beautiful and talented blogger over at Apples and Bandaids Blog, in response to her recently published post entitled My Husband Doesn’t Need to See Your Boobs.
My boobs are not your problem, I promise you–and they’re really of no concern to your husband either. But I’m writing this today for a really good reason: after reading your recent post, I checked out your bio and couldn’t believe what I found.
See, that post revealed the thoughts of an insanely, excessively insecure woman who is on the verge of blowing up her marriage and who thinks very little of herself.
But your bio reveals a well-traveled, educated and worldly teacher-turned-women-empowering-blogger who isn’t afraid of anything (and who, for the record, is pretty gorgeous!).
While these two “sides” of you seem to be on opposite ends of the spectrum, I’m here to tell you that you’re not so strange–and you’re not alone.
Boob-Fear: I’ve been there
I’ve been where you are, and there is a way out. But it starts inside your own head–and the very first thing you have to do is stop worrying about stuff you can’t control.
So, using your own example, you don’t need to worry about your husband looking at anyone else’s boobs (and BTW, by “forbidding” it or making it “taboo” in your house, you’re actually making those non-you racks a lot more interesting–why not just let it go–is there anything you could truly do to change the situation, outside of a hollow blog post plea?). Instead, just stop thinking/worrying/stressing about it.
Now why would I recommend THAT?
Because let me ask you one simple question: is thinking/worrying/stressing about my boobs or anyone else’s going to really change the fact that your husband may or may not look at them?
No, of course not. What matters is that he’s not going around looking to touch them or to be in the same room as them, even–he saves all his love for you, yeah? (Assuming he does if he’s kind enough to pretend to not look at other women’s boobs on the internet!)
Anyway. Let me get to the point here.
Let’s Talk About You
First of all, as I previously mentioned, you are absolutely gorgeous and I am nearly positive that your husband thanks his lucky stars for this on a regular basis.
And let’s not forget that whole well-rounded, well-traveled, educated and awesome, sexy, stylish mom part.
Second, these skinny, fake-boobs-having, barely-legal, clearly childless women you see baring it all on the internet? Your hubby is not comparing you to them, I promise you. These images are, believe it or not, sort of separated from you in his mind.
It’s not that they’re better than you–in fact, they’re not nearly as good, because YOU are “real” in his world and they are not. You, he can touch, love, make love to–all that good stuff–and plus, you’re the mother of his children and you love him just the way he is, too, right? (Plus, let’s face it, he’s probably no Adonis himself–do you walk around comparing him to every dude you see in his underwear? I don’t think so.)
So how do I know all this stuff, anyway? Have I been somehow secretly spying on you? Nope, I’m not that tech savvy!
And now, it’s time to talk about me a little: I know this stuff because I have BEEN where you are.
Like, almost literally where you are, right now. Thinking that other women somehow had control over my husband and whether or not he chose to remain my husband. Ahem.
I’d like to sit here and tell you that I have never had a single moment of insecurity in my marriage. There was a time when things got pretty hairy, partially due to some old insecurities I had laying around. It got ugly sometimes.
The fact is that I’m human and that like every other woman who has had children (3 c-sections, thank you very much), I have my “battle scars,” such as the saggy spot on the bottom of my belly that will never quite go away.
And yeah, there was a time in my life when I could be classified as insanely, outrageously and cripplingly insecure and, as a result, pretty jealous in my relationship.
Another Thing in Common…
Like you noted in your blog post, I too used to really worry that hubs was constantly comparing me to other women and get sick thinking about what he was thinking/feeling about me (and/or these other women).
It wasn’t that I believed he’d cheat on me, it was that I worried he’d THINK about other women naked and WISH he was with them instead of me. Yeah, no kidding.
It got so tough that it was even an issue with women on television or in movies sometimes. Yeah, I know how ridiculous that sounds, and I even knew it then. But I still couldn’t help it–I was insanely obsessed for a proverbial minute.
Not only was I making myself physically ill, but I was also causing major issues in my marriage. It’s a lucky thing I finally realized what I was doing and figured out how to mostly fix the issue.
By now, I’ve come to a point where I understand a few things about life, marriage and the way the healthy male brain works at various stages throughout a man’s life.
At the time I was dealing with this issue, though, the idea of my husband finding any other woman attractive made me want to vomit–seriously–and the thought that he might find one more attractive, intelligent, stylish, sexy–or whatever–than me? Made me want to crawl in a hole and give up on this whole deal.
And yeah, people gave me the old “he’s married, not dead” and “well at least he comes home to you every night,” and yeah, it made me think mean things about those people, because none of that mattered in my misguided head at that moment.
It was so intensely harsh during one of my pregnancies that I became almost obsessive about it and in a very unhealthy way–no kidding. I’d watch my husband’s eyes (to see where and what he was looking at, of course). I’d listen carefully to everything he said, literally trying to seek out opportunities to prove that he didn’t REALLY love me and want me.
What the hell is wrong with us, anyway?
I don’t know about you, but I’m guessing we’re dealing with similar psychology here.
As for me, something inside me told me that he was really just with me because he was waiting for something better to come along–and when that something better did finally show up, he’d be done with me before I could say BOO. (To date, this has never happened, by the way.)
But I lived in fear of this every single day for the longest time. It was all I could think about sometimes, and it consumed me. I really think it almost killed me in some ways.
Then one day, I finally realized something: I had no control over my husband and his choices. I could only control myself and make my choices wisely. This meant I could continue to make myself (and him) miserable, or I could just decide that I was going to be happy NO MATTER WHAT the circumstances in my life happened to be that day.
I could just let go of worrying about what secrets my husband may or may not have rolling around in his head, because none of that mattered. I had to learn to trust him and trust in our relationship (and trust myself) enough to know that he’s in it for the long haul.
I realized that I was actually a pretty legit person who deserves good things in life, and it occurred to me that by changing my own perception of this whole deal, I could literally change both of our lives (and the lives of our kids).
See, as it turns out, the “something” inside me was a big, fat liar–it was my own doubt and insecurity whispering to me, telling me that I wasn’t good enough and that I didn’t deserve the kind of love I imagined that “some” people had. You know the kind I mean–that whole “meant-to-be, soulmate, I knew I loved you before I met you” kind of shit.
But if you’re there right now, I’ve got great news for you. You can CHOOSE to step out of that mess right this moment and change your life–and all it takes is one single thing: a shift in perspective.
You are your own kind of beautiful. There is no one else exactly like you and there is no reason to compare yourself with women who are different than you. Beauty is not a particular look in a woman–it goes so much deeper than that.
And for the record, not every man is into those perfect, tanned, flat-bellied bitches that make you cry into your pillow at night. Some guys actually find the bodies of “real women” much more attractive. Just saying. Keep going, stop worrying and start shining your beautiful light into the world, unencumbered by stress about things you can’t control.
All you have to do is decide. You can do this. It’s all in your hands. So what are you going to do about it?
“One is never over or under dressed with little black dress” ~Karl Lagerfeld, Chanel artistic director
It’s pretty much a requirement for every woman–fashionista or otherwise–to own at least one perfect “LBD” or little black dress, regardless of age, income, weight and personal beliefs.
Whether you’re going out for a much-needed date night, a dinner party, a night out with the girls or even for a formal or semi-formal occasion, that black dress can be exactly what you need to get styled to perfection for the occasion–and depending on the fashion accessories you choose, you can dress that look up or down.
Though you can find the right dress for your body and your budget on your own, it might take time and could cost you more than you’d like. That’s why we’ve put together this blissful style guide to finding the perfect little black dress.
Did you know?
We are regularly updating our Blissful Style Guides section, so be sure to check back often for updated information for both new trends and classic looks.
Blissful Style Guide: How to Find the Perfect Little Black Dress for Your Body
Here are some time-tested fashion and style tips on how to select a perfect black dress based on your body’s problem areas.
Problem Area–Flabby Arms: Select outfits with half or three quarter sleeve or wear a shrug or shawl, so that your “bat wings” remain unnoticed. To camouflage the problem part of the upper arm, look for a shoulder with some ruffly or layered fabric, avoid big poofy sleeves.
Problem Area–Thick Neck: Choose a V-neck LBD to help divert attention away from the neck and elongate your neckline.
Problem Area–Broad Shoulders: Go with a V-neck or scoop-neck, which draws attention more toward the middle and away from width. Avoid strapless styles and spagetti straps.
Problem Area–Narrow or Sloped Shoulders: A boatneck or straight-across bateau will give you a wider look.
Problem Area–Big Boobs: A boatneck or bateau will work to draw eyes up away from your cleavage. V-necks will also by reducing the ‘bulky’ appearance , but note that you may show more cleavage this way. Choose thinner fabric, as you can’t afford to add more bulk.
Problem Area–Small Boobs: A simple padded bra can help. Choose round necklines, and feel free to rock the sleeveless ones too. To draw attention towards shoulders, try a cropped jacket. You can wear nearly any neckline with the right bra.
Problem Area–Flabby Belly: Ruched fabrics will help hide rolls. Consider avoiding clingy ones–they’ll show more than you’d prefer. The empire waist is sometimes safe, as it flares from high on waist and hides what lies beneath. Using a body-shaper will also help, and will also help you look little less flabby. If you are short waisted with fuller hips, skip the empire waist, it’ll make you look pregnant.
Problem Area–Long waist: Use a wide belt to break up that torso.
Problem Area–Short Waist: Try aribbon or narrow belt, will help with that distance. Or, you can eliminate belts completely.
Under the arm breast augmentation helps increase the size and shape of the breast. Women undergo this under the arm breast augmentation for several reasons.
The breast augmentation surgery helps make the breast in correct shape with the body ad gives self esteem to them. It even reduces the volume of the breast after pregnancy. The breast augmentation enlarges or reshapes the breast, which has lost its original shape due to breast feeding and aging.
Under the arm breast augmentation involves the placement of saline behind the breast tissue or under the chest wall. It is similar to the method of breast implantation. But the reasons differ.
Women who want to perk up their previously shapely breasts (which may have fallen due to pregnancy/breastfeeding, or just due to age and activity levels) are most likely to benefit from this method. Before the under the arm breast augmentation, initial consultation must be done with reputed plastic surgeon, certified by the American Society of Plastic Surgeons.
Read more about breast health and other fashion, health and beauty issues in today’s related articles