Gaslighting and Toxic Narcissism: Top 10 Red Flags (Video)

Gaslighting and Toxic Narcissism: Top 10 Red Flags (Video)

Wondering if you might be dealing with a toxic narcissist in your relationship?

Top 10 Red Flags of Narcissistic Abuse in a Toxic Relationship

Here are the top ten red flags to watch for – check out this video.

Get Support in Your Narcissistic Abuse Recovery

The Narcissistic Flip: Why and how it’s always your fault

The Narcissistic Flip: Why and how it’s always your fault

I was reading this article today from YourTango (that really strikes home for many people who are in relationships with narcissists) when one line jumped out at me.

“He’s a master at deflection. His actions are no longer the focus; I’m the one on trial now.”

Boy, that sounded familiar. There’s so much truth in those sentences for people who have been the victims of narcissists.

Gaslighting and the Narcissistic flip – a Toxic Combination

Narcissists are becoming quite infamous these days for their honed manipulation tactics, often called gaslighting.

(Learn the definition of gaslighting, here, and learn some coping techniques here.)

What is The Narcissistic Flip?

One of the most effective kinds of gaslighting is when a narcissist sort of “flips the script” on you during an argument. I have dubbed this practice the “narcissistic flip,” and have found that it’s a regularly employed manipulation technique for many narcs.

The “flip” happens most often when you make a valid point or have the nerve to question the narc about anything. That’s about the time everything turns around and suddenly, you’re the one who’s sorry (mostly that you bothered engaging in yet another pointless argument).

Flipping the Script: How Narcissists Do It

How does “flipping the script” really happen? It’s exactly what you’re dealing with when the narcissist turns a conversation about something they did wrong into a conversation about something you did wrong.  Let’s look at an example of how a narcissist will flip the script during an argument. As you read through the following paragraphs, do you recognize anything familiar?

Are you in love with a narcissist? 12 ways to know

Jeff and Alisha: The Narcissistic Flip in Action 

Jeff and Alisha have been married for 15 years when suddenly, Jeff develops a drinking problem. Though he’s been a social drinker until now, he’s suddenly spending more time away from home, and when he is home, he drinks more often than not.

This causes the kids to complain to Alisha, who gingerly brings her concerns to Jeff. Jeff acknowledges that he’s heard complaints from the kids, but then says she’s the one causing the problem in the first place.

Why? Because, he says, they are only children and not capable of forming those thoughts on their own. So that means that Alisha must have told them her concerns, poisoning the children against him.

Now it’s Alisha who is under the microscope. As Jeff systematically pulls the old switcheroo on her, he not only removes the focus from his own bad behavior, but he begins a whole new process of putting Alisha on trial.

Before she knows what’s happening, Alisha begins to question her own thoughts. What if Jeff is right and she really IS a bad mom? What if she’s really been the problem all along? Maybe she’s as crazy as Jeff says – after all, she can’t seem to even make a simple decision anymore.

Alisha has just been gaslighted – and after 15 years, it’s just another day in the life of a narcissist’s wife (aka his narcissistic supply).

Have you experienced the narcissist flip? Share your thoughts and experiences below, or hit me up on Facebook. Let’s discuss this!

Helpful Videos for People Dealing with Narcissists in Toxic Relationships

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Switch Up Style: One dress + two scarves

Switch Up Style: One dress + two scarves

Ever wonder how to.get the most bang for your buck when it comes to little black dresses…or any other classic piece?

Challenge Accepted: 5 Looks, One Dress

Thanks to a challenge from a certain fashion skeptic I know, I came up with five different looks for one dress, thanks to simple accessory changes.

So, I have this really simple black dress.

(My 6-year-old is my photographer, as you may have guessed based on her prop choices.)

If I throw my hair up and add my lovely new Scialle scarf (the large Unito in red), it’s a whole new look.

Switch up the scarf by wrapping it around your bodyand you’ve got a whole other look. Maybe a little more formal.


And check out what happens when I add another Scialle scarf in black and white. So many possibilities.

In this case, I wrapped the Wool Challis Chevron- Paisley Panel Black & White Scarf around my waist twice and tied it into a knot to create a sort of wrap around skirt. By placing it under the dress and adding flats and leggings, as well as changing up the jewelry it gives the dress a more boho look.


And here, I just tied the scarf the same way but on top of the dress. I think this changes the look so significantly in a single switch that it’s worth noting.


And for my final trick today, the same scarf and dress with different hair, jewelry and drape adds yet a other almost completely different look.




Now…honestly, I.could probably come up with 150 more looks with accessories alone.

So, next time you think you’ve nothing to wear, think again. Tradition is great.but it rarely invites innovation.

What are your favorite ways to switch up your looks? Share your thoughts and ideas in the comments section, below.

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