The QueenBeeing SPANily, Official – We consider this to be the best narcissistic abuse recovery support group on the web. Offers several subgroups and features a vigilant, compassionate admin team full of trained coaches and survivors, supporting more than 12k members. SPAN is an acronym created by Angie Atkinson that stands for Support for People Affected by Narcissistic abuse in toxic relationships.
Other Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Support Groups– We also have separate groups for each stage in your narcissistic abuse recovery, as well as some for those who have moved past recovery and are evolving into the next stage of their own life. Survivors have unique and individual needs, even when they’ve moved on – so we’re still here for you.
One-on-One Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Coaching – If you prefer to get more personalized support in your recovery, you might like to schedule a session with one of our coaches to plan and execute your own narcissistic abuse recovery plan.
Find a Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Therapist – If you’re looking for a therapist for narcissistic abuse recovery, either because you cannot afford coaching and want to use your health insurance or because you have additional issues you need to address that do not fall within the realm of coaching, you will want to find the right therapist for you – and as far as we’re concerned, that therapist must understand what you’ve been through. This page offers assistance to help you do exactly that.
I was reading this article today from YourTango (that really strikes home for many people who are in relationships with narcissists) when one line jumped out at me.
“He’s a master at deflection. His actions are no longer the focus; I’m the one on trial now.”
Boy, that sounded familiar. There’s so much truth in those sentences for people who have been the victims of narcissists.
Gaslighting and the Narcissistic flip – a Toxic Combination
Narcissists are becoming quite infamous these days for their honed manipulation tactics, often called gaslighting.
One of the most effective kinds of gaslighting is when a narcissist sort of “flips the script” on you during an argument. I have dubbed this practice the “narcissistic flip,” and have found that it’s a regularly employed manipulation technique for many narcs.
The “flip” happens most often when you make a valid point or have the nerve to question the narc about anything. That’s about the time everything turns around and suddenly, you’re the one who’s sorry (mostly that you bothered engaging in yet another pointless argument).
Flipping the Script: How Narcissists Do It
How does “flipping the script” really happen? It’s exactly what you’re dealing with when the narcissist turns a conversation about something they did wrong into a conversation about something you did wrong. Let’s look at an example of how a narcissist will flip the script during an argument. As you read through the following paragraphs, do you recognize anything familiar?
Jeff and Alisha have been married for 15 years when suddenly, Jeff develops a drinking problem. Though he’s been a social drinker until now, he’s suddenly spending more time away from home, and when he is home, he drinks more often than not.
This causes the kids to complain to Alisha, who gingerly brings her concerns to Jeff. Jeff acknowledges that he’s heard complaints from the kids, but then says she’s the one causing the problem in the first place.
Why? Because, he says, they are only children and not capable of forming those thoughts on their own. So that means that Alisha must have told them her concerns, poisoning the children against him.
Now it’s Alisha who is under the microscope. As Jeff systematically pulls the old switcheroo on her, he not only removes the focus from his own bad behavior, but he begins a whole new process of putting Alisha on trial.
Before she knows what’s happening, Alisha begins to question her own thoughts. What if Jeff is right and she really IS a bad mom? What if she’s really been the problem all along? Maybe she’s as crazy as Jeff says – after all, she can’t seem to even make a simple decision anymore.
Alisha has just been gaslighted – and after 15 years, it’s just another day in the life of a narcissist’s wife (aka his narcissistic supply).
In this case, I wrapped the Wool Challis Chevron- Paisley Panel Black & White Scarf around my waist twice and tied it into a knot to create a sort of wrap around skirt. By placing it under the dress and adding flats and leggings, as well as changing up the jewelry it gives the dress a more boho look.
And here, I just tied the scarf the same way but on top of the dress. I think this changes the look so significantly in a single switch that it’s worth noting.
And for my final trick today, the same scarf and dress with different hair, jewelry and drape adds yet a other almost completely different look.
Now…honestly, I.could probably come up with 150 more looks with accessories alone.
So, next time you think you’ve nothing to wear, think again. Tradition is great.but it rarely invites innovation.
What are your favorite ways to switch up your looks? Share your thoughts and ideas in the comments section, below.
