How to Instill Self-Confidence in Your Child that Will Last a Lifetime

How to Instill Self-Confidence in Your Child that Will Last a Lifetime

By Tammy Mahan, a technical writer at TechnicalWriters.us

English: extreme confidence

Children require confidence to get them through life. The most important thing that you can do for your child is to begin developing their self- confidence as early as you can. The confidence that your child has will affect their self-esteem in later years, a lack of self-esteem can prevent them from doing things that they would love to do. There are some things that you can do to ensure that your children have enough self-confidence to last a lifetime.

Allowing children to begin making their own decisions at an early age is the best thing that you can do for them. However, giving children freedom has to have a limit.

Start with small things such as giving options that allow them to choose between two items, or activities. Letting your child know that they have a say in something as simple as what they were or what you are making for dinner will let them feel as if they have some level of control over their life.

The most important part when your children begin making decisions is that you guide them by offering appropriate options. Little by little, they will become more independent which will help them develop self-confidence. You should make sure that you acknowledge the positive choices that your child makes. When you child makes a mess you notice and react negatively, but you also need to tell them how well they did when they make their beds or put their toys away voluntarily.

Take the time to notice the good things that your child does and praise them for doing them. Play games with your children, and be sure to positively reinforce their creativity. Let them guide you, so that they feel more in control of the situation. Do not attach labels to what your child has done; instead help them to learn appropriate behaviors. Show them how they should behave so they have confidence.

Age appropriate tasks can be assigned to your child that will help to increase not only self-confidence but help them to work toward being self- sufficient adults. Leave things that your child will need to complete the task low enough that your child can reach them. The things that you have your child do should be appropriate to their age level. The guidelines that you give your child should be clear so that they know what you expect from them. The steps should be broken down for them, if your child is old enough to read writing the steps down in order can make the task easier to accomplish.

When speaking to your child address them by name, and teach them how to address others by name. Always keep the lines of communication open with your child, this allows them to discuss things with you. Children will be more open to asking for help when they need it without fear that they will be put down when you allow them to speak openly and honestly with you. Children will be able to get suggestions from you, and then determine which choice is right for them.

It is not difficult to build your child’s self-confidence and ensure that it lasts them a lifetime. Start early with praising the good things they do, helping them correct the things that are wrong without making a big deal out of it and give them choices. Make sure that the lines of communication are open, tell them that they are smart, beautiful/handsome, and give them freedom. Guide them in the right direction, and let them take pleasure in the choices that they make by not over ruling them.

 

 

How to Instill Self-Confidence in Your Child that Will Last a Lifetime

Making Sense of the Eternal Internal Struggle

It took me a long time not to judge myself through someone else’s eyes. ~Sally Field

How many times have you not followed your heart because you were worried about what other people might think? How often have you avoided doing something you truly wanted to do because you couldn’t stand the idea that other people would judge you?

Have you based your major life choices on your own desires, or have you allowed other people to influence you? Do you have regrets because you have given someone else the power to make decisions in your life, whether directly or indirectly? Have you chosen your job, a partner or your home because someone else thought you should?

You’re Not Alone

Most everyone has, at one time or another, made a choice in their lives that was based on someone else’s opinion. And while there are certainly times when it’s appropriate to do so, there are plenty of times that we regret not following our own intuition.

The difference is this: when you accept the advice of someone else because you feel that it’s right for you, you’re following your own gut and can consider it inspired action–but when you bend to someone else’s will to please them (despite your own feelings), you’re shortchanging yourself in the happiness department.

Why Do We Care What Other People Think, Anyway?

It’s human nature to care what other people think. From infancy, we learn that when we do what someone else wants us to do, they’re happy with us–and that feels good. As we get older and learn to make the occasional unpopular decision, we are sometimes shocked to learn that some people actually seem to stop being nice to us when we don’t follow their “advice” for living.

But ultimately, we care what people think because we are taught to base our identities on the messages they give us. When our parents tell us we’re good for following their rules, for example, we begin to feel that we need to follow the rules to be good. When our kindergarten teachers scold us for coloring outside the lines, we begin to feel that unless we “stay inside the lines,” we’re wrong.

We take the messages that we hear from others about ourselves every day of our lives, and we internalize them–to such an extent that we find ourselves dependent on the approval of others for our own self worth.


Should We Just Stop Caring?

Of course, this is a two sided coin. While we certainly need to learn to follow our hearts and our own intuition toward inspired action and to make our own life choices, there are times we need to follow the rules. For example, to be productive members of society, we need to follow certain societal norms–at the very least, we have to follow the laws of the land.

And, the fact of the matter is, most of us aren’t able to just “turn off” caring about what others, especially those we care about, think about us and our choices. We don’t want to become cold and immune to the emotions of others, but we want to be happy. To be happy, we must make our own choices, follow our own divine inspiration for what we want our lives to be. At the end of the day, we’re the ones who must live with the decisions we make.

So where does this leave us? Are we doomed to an eternal internal struggle? How do we start taking charge of our own lives and stop letting the judgments and opinions of others dictate our choices? What do you think?

Next Up: How to Stop Caring What People Think (Without Looking Like a Huge Jerk)



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