8 Distinctive Tricks to Immediately Change Your Emotional State

8 Distinctive Tricks to Immediately Change Your Emotional State

When you’re a survivor of narcissistic abuse, you may have trouble managing your emotional state, especially if you’re deep in the throes of grief and anxiety as you transition to life without the narcissist. Issues connected to C-PTSD and other after-effects of the trauma you’ve just experienced will run rampant in your mind and body until you find a way to heal. 

In the meantime, there are so many things you can do to help yourself feel better right now. For example, you could use a pattern interrupt to shift from feeling weak and worthless to feeling empowered and worthy. 

What is a pattern interrupt?

A pattern interrupt is a way to stop one of your habitual reactions. This can be helpful because you can stop yourself from reacting in an unhealthy way and choose a better response. It can also be used to help your brain notice small things that you might otherwise overlook.

This concept is commonly used in NLP (Neuro-Linguistic Programming), as well as other self-help practices, to help people change their habits, thoughts, and emotions. In other words, pattern interrupts are deliberate actions that break undesirable habits.

You can use pattern interrupts to redirect the flow of a conversation when it’s going too far off-track, or when you’re ready to move on to talking about something else. They’re also useful for breaking up long monologues by other people.

Most importantly, pattern interrupts can help you get through the difficult moments in your relationships, including the one you might have or have had with the narcissist. This way, you can truly begin to heal yourself and take back your life – one baby step at a time.

How does a pattern interrupt help? 

Pattern interrupts are highly effective for so many different aspects of narcissistic abuse recovery, and this is one more way they can be used. During and after a toxic relationship, your grief, anxiety, and depression can become automatic behaviors – patterns – that you fall into without thought.

So, when you begin to work on letting go of the narcissist and the toxic relationship, you can use mindfulness to pay attention to your thoughts and ideas, and then you can choose to use a pattern-interrupt to change it. 

Try These Simple Pattern Interrupt Ideas

Pattern interrupts are part of NLP (Neurolinguistic programming). Sounds complicated, right? But it’s so simple. Here are some quick and easy-to-implement pattern interrupt ideas for you.

  • Try a simple affirmation you repeat to yourself in the moment.
  • Try standing up and moving into a different room of the house.
  • Try taking a quick shower.
  • You can brush your teeth or hair or wash your hands.
  • Try to count all of the items in a room that are a certain color.

There are so many other options to interrupt these toxic patterns in your own mind. Here’s a quick video where I explain pattern interrupts in more detail.

Pattern Interrupts to Change Your Emotional State Quickly

If you need to change your mood or emotional state in a hurry, you have options available to you. Your emotional state affects your attitude, focus, decisions, and your ability to act.

The ability to manage your emotional state is a powerful skill that must be mastered if you want to be able to get the most out of each day. If you can control your emotional state, you can be happier and more successful.

Surprisingly Effective Pattern Interrupt Strategies for Emotional Control 

1. Move.

Your emotions are actually body feelings created by your thoughts. If you move your body, the way your body feels will change. Moving is one of the most effective ways to change your emotional state. There are many ways to use your body to alter your emotions. Here are just a few options:

● Stand straighter.
● Do jumping jacks.
● Dance.
● Stand up quickly.
● Spin around.
● Walk like a robot.
● Run.
● Skip.

2. Laugh.

Laughing feels really good! Make yourself laugh and you’ll feel differently, and the change is instantaneous.

● Think about something funny.
● Watch your favorite comedian.
● Talk with your funniest friend.
● Read a joke.

3. Give yourself a change of scenery.

It’s amazing how much difference you can feel if you just move to a new location.

● Spend an hour at the coffee shop.
● Go to the library.
● Walk around the park.
● Sit out on your back patio.

4. Do something that frightens you.

If you want to take your mind off your current thoughts, fear is an effective way to do it. Your emotional state will change, guaranteed.

● Strike up a conversation with an attractive stranger.
● Have that conversation you’ve been avoiding.
● Go to the pet shop and ask to hold that scary-looking snake.

5. Drink a large glass of cold water.

A good drink of water can change how you feel. Making sure that it’s cold makes the experience jolting. Pour yourself a tall, cold glass of water, stand outside, and drink it.

6. Use heat or cold.

Anything that impacts your body significantly can impact your emotional state, too. Heat and cold are all-encompassing experiences for your body. Your attention can’t help but notice them. Your brain and body are also taking notice. Your blood vessels expand or contract. You sweat more or less. There’s a lot going on when you expose yourself to significant temperatures.

● Sit outside on a hot or cold day.
● Take a hot shower or bath. Sit in a hot tub or sauna.
● Try a cold shower or bath (this is known to help tone your vagus nerve – which is shockingly effective in helping to heal your trauma).

7. Sing or hum.

Singing is a novel way to change how you feel. If you’re not used to singing, it can feel awkward. If you sing regularly, you do so because it’s enjoyable. Either way, your emotional state will be impacted. (Also good for the vagus nerve!)

8. Do something new or unexpected.

Shock your system by doing something totally out of character.

● Pull out the bike you haven’t ridden in years and go for a ride.
● Take a walk around the neighborhood if you rarely do so.
● Go out to a new restaurant.
● Call an old friend you haven’t spoken to in ages.
● Eat a tablespoon of hot sauce.
● Shake things up.

You have an emotional state of some sort every waking moment of the day. The real question is whether or not it’s a useful emotional state. Even more importantly, is it the optimal emotional state for the current moment? You can change your emotional state with practice. You can even change it quickly!

Get Help With Your Narcissistic Abuse Recovery

Group Coaching Starting Next Week

Group Coaching Starting Next Week

Two group coaching opportunities starting next week.

Group Coaching for Adult Children of Narcissists 

sign up at Life Makeover Academy

Healing from childhood wounds can be almost like starting over and take time to discover who you truly are. Many healing issues that arise from being raised by a narcissistic parent are greatly benefitted through coaching. The support and compassion within a group can lead you towards a deeper healing as well. Join Colleen once a week for an hour of group coaching where you meet privately, face to face in video to talk about and get some coaching help for the issues around healing from a toxic parent.

Details:

  • Weekly meetings on Wednesdays at 6pm Central beginning December 5th
  • Cost is $60.00 for 4 weeks of coaching ( non-refundable due to the discounted rate)

 

 

Group Coaching Inner Transformation 

sign up at Life Makeover Academy 

This group will focus on topics such as helping to identify and heal codependent traits, finding ways to support and heal your inner child and learning to apply reframing limiting beliefs to create positive self-affriming new beliefs. Join coach Lise for weekly video meetings.

Details:

  • One hour weekly video meetings on Wedsnesday 6pm or Friday 11 am Pacific beginning December 5th
  • Cost: $60 (non refundable at this reduced group rate) for all 4 weeks .

 

 

 

 

 

Should I Contact the Narcissist’s New Supply?

Should I Contact the Narcissist’s New Supply?

If you saw someone walking down the street and you knew that they would run into a mugger if they went two blocks further, wouldn’t you try to warn them? And on that same note, if you just got out of a relationship with a narcissist, wouldn’t you be sort of obligated to warn his or her new source of narcissistic supply about what they were getting themselves into?

Are you going through a divorce from a narcissist? Take advantage of this special, limited opportunity for a limited time for a free ten-minute coaching session with Queenbeeing’s Divorce Coach Misty Dawn. Just scroll down and schedule a “Discovery Session” to get your free mini-session!

I am sure most of us have had the same thought when the narcissist in our lives found their new supply.

Doesn’t someone need to tell them what they are getting into before they get into it?

But in most cases, we don’t bother – because we know it’ll do no good. Triangulation and the narcissist’s ability to make things our fault usually stops us.

Since I have a platform, I decided that putting it on my website would be a way for me to say what I wanted to say and if she ever finds it she will know why I did it the way I did. So now, at least my conscience is clear: she can read it if she wants to know.

Want a look into how I decided to handle the need to let her know? You can check out my letter to her here: To the new supply of my narcissistic nightmare. (Fair warning: See what Angie says about trying to warn the new supply before you try it.)

Come over to Divorce Your Narcissist and join in on the discussion.

Shifting Focus when Trauma Bonded and Divorce Group Coaching

Shifting Focus when Trauma Bonded and Divorce Group Coaching

Shifting Focus When Trauma Bonded and Divorce Group Coaching

Sign up at Life Makeover Academy

In addition to the weekly coaching group for Shifting Focus when Trauma bonded we are offering this once a week group to focus in on divorce as well. If you are interested in the Trauma Bond group without divorce the same sign up link above works, you will be contacted by Lise to set up your times and designate which  group you would like,

This video explains a bit about what to expect and the kind of support offered with the divorce group. 2 coaches, two topics, lots of support!!!

Details:

Shifting Focus when Trauma Bonded group coaching begins November 15 . We meet Thursday’s at 11am or 6pm Pacific for one hour video meetings. We have a daily messenger chat where Lise checks in and members share and support one another.

Plus Divorce begins November 16 and meets on Friday’s at 3:30pm Pacific. We meet for one hour video meetings plus have a messenger chat as well with check-ins from both coaches.

Cost is 60.00 for all 4 weeks for either group. 

For info on Lise go to https://queenbeeing.com/lise/

For info on Misty go to https://queenbeeing.com/misty/

If you have any questions please reach out and email Lise at [email protected]

 

Pin It on Pinterest