If you’re married to a narcissist or in a long-term relationship with one, you may have also been raised by a toxic parent. This seems to be the case more often than not. Of course, there are other reasons you can end up with a narcissist, such as other types of childhood trauma and low-self esteem. But most of the time, people who were raised by healthy parents and who have reasonable self-esteem will not tolerate the abuse that comes with being involved with a narcissist.
So, let me ask you a few questions.
If you were raised by a toxic parent who may have been a narcissist, did you also end up marrying one?
And did you ever wonder exactly why you chose to get into a toxic relationship – and why you couldn’t see it in the first place?
Do you ever as, yourself why you married the wrong person?
How a lost child experiences life and what you can do to start healing.
Are you a lost child? Are you the parent of a lost child? If so, understanding the psychology of the toxic family structure is important, but understanding the lost child’s psychology is necessary if you’re ever going to heal (or help your child heal).
In this video, I’ll briefly discuss the lost child, how they differ from the scapegoat and golden children, and what their psychology looks like and then explain what is necessary to help the lost child heal after dealing with a narcissistic parent.
There really is an app for everything, including co-parenting with a toxic ex narcissist. In this video, I’ll share 7 apps designed to help deal with child support issues, custody issues, visitation schedules, and more. Plus, I’ll tell you about a new app Audiojoy created out of my narcissistic abuse recovery content.
A recent post in our SPANily Support for Co-Parenting With a Narcissist Group offers some amazing insight and additional helpful apps for co-parenting with a toxic ex. Check out these ideas and tips for apps that help with co-parenting with a narcissist from fellow narcissistic abuse survivors who have struggled with narcissistic abuse in a toxic relationship with their childrens’ other parent.
Mailtrack is an email tracker for Gmail that helps keep a record of when someone receives and reads your email. This can help you to know for sure that your ex has received and reviewed the emails you send and offers a record of this. It can be useful for court cases and for your own awareness of how manipulative the parent is being.
SPANily Member Comments:
Free to use or 60 per year for the paid version that automatically removes the logo.
Very reasonable cost in comparison to other trackers.
Use with Gmail in google chrome (it’s a chrome extension) or there is an Android version too.
It has saved me endless stress of x saying, “Oh, I must not have gotten that email!” (Even though I can see he has read it 16 times)
It really helps with my grey rock because I know he got the email and I know he is lying, so I don’t have that confusion and frustration.
From the App’s Authors:
Email Activity – See in your mailbox if your emails have been opened.
Your Data is Secure – Our software is privacy compliant and we never share data with 3rd parties.
Real-time Notifications – Receive real-time notification pop-ups when your emails are opened
Imazing offers you a way to download your text messages that can be used for custody cases in court. It’s helpful if you need evidence of narcissistic abuse and manipulation in regard to your child’s visits and communication.
SPANily Member Comments:
I use it to download text messages.
You can put the messages into PDF format.
The messages are date and time-stamped.
It costs $60-$80, but it is worth it.
From the App’s Authors:
Trusted software to transfer and save your music, messages, files, and data.
Alimentor2 is a child custody calendar app that offers court-admissible documents. It allows you to record everything and gives you a place to properly document everything that happens in relation to your child custody case. You can also use it to help monitor compliance with an already established custody agreement. It is totally free and has no in-app purchases.
Comments from SPANily Member
Great app to track parenting time (and deviations from it) calls, memos, screenshots, expenses, etc.
This is not an app you share with your ex; you use it for your record-keeping and for an organized printout for the judge.
From the App’s Authors:
Alimentor 2 has been designed to help you win a fair and realistic child custody agreement.
Once a child custody agreement is established, you can use Alimentor 2 to document and control the gap between your parenting plan and reality. Log pick‑ups and drop‑offs.
Add photos and PDF files. Control the timeshare percentage, total hours and overnights.
Call History – Log parent‑child calls (date, time, duration), including unanswered calls.
Child Support & Expense Tracking – Track due and paid amounts. Add receipts. Export data to a spreadsheet.
Custody Calendar – See how your custody schedule coincides with holidays and events stored in your device calendar.
Actual vs. Planned – Document deviations from the established visitation agreement or parenting plan.
Detailed Reports – Create comprehensive reports containing color-coded calendars and send them to the other parent or submit them to the court.
AZ Screen Recorder (Android)and AZ Screen Recorder (Apple) are two versions of this free app that does exactly what it sounds like – records your screen – but it also allows you to record video calls and save them to your computer.
SPANily Member Comments:
The app is free.
Gives you the ability to record video calls on your phone and is saved as a file in your photo gallery that can easily be transferred to your hard drive or another computer for storage.
Timestamp Camera Basic is an app offered on both Apple and Android that offers you a way to easily timestamp your calls, photos, text messages and more. This can be hepful for preparing for a court case to fight the narcissist for custody of your child, and even for divorce cases in some situations.
SPANiy Member Comments:
It’s free and stamps your pic with date, time, and location.
Hard to argue that as proof for court.
From the App’s Authors:
Add current time and location when record or capture, you can change the time format or select the location around easily.
20 timestamp formats.
Change font, font color, font size.
Set timestamp in 6 positions: top left, top center, top right, bottom left, bottom center, bottom right.
Auto adds location.
Change timestamp opacity.
Display custom text and emoji on camera. For example, you can input “Good day at the zoo”.
Time effects are real-time and can be used when record or capture.
Custody X Change is an app offering tools for parents who are struggling to come together on a workable custody arrangement. When you’re dealing with a narcissistic co-parent, you need all the help you can get. In this case, you can use it to both negotiate and keep records of your agreement with your narcissistic ex. Your attorney can also access the app with your permission for court cases.
SPANily Member Comments:
Custody X Change has all kinds of useful resources for parenting agreements.
You can put in different schedules and see how they work over time.
It will even calculate the number of overnights when you customize.
It just helped me win my court case this week, so I’m happy.
From the App’s Authors:
Custody X Change is a powerful tool that helps parents create and track professional-quality parenting plans.
Use it to create your family’s parenting schedule
It can help you generate a customized parenting plan
Use it to view and print the time calculation graphs
It can help you track and journal what actually happens
Offers you the opportunity to be fully prepared for mediation and court
Decipher Text Message is an app that can be used on iPhone, iPad,, and Mac, as well as on PC. It offers you the chance to print out your text messages so you don’t have to screenshot them.
SPANily Member Comments:
Decipher Text Message is what I use to download and print all of my messages for court.
It has been amazingly helpful not having to screenshot and print them! (One trial I had 150+ pages of messages. Most from him!)
From the App’s Authors:
Quickly read text messages from your iTunes backup of your iPhone, iPad, or iPod Touch.
Works with iMessage, SMS, and MMS messages.
Save and view attachments, such as images and videos.
Search your message history for important information.
Easily see conversations by names in your iPhone Address Book.
No jailbreaking required! (And also works for jailbroken iPhones.)
Supported for Windows 7 and above, including Windows 10.
Supported for macOS Lion and above, including Catalina and Big Sur.
Compatible with backups from iOS 4 through iOS 14, iOS 13, iOS 12, iOS 11, iOS 10, iOS 9, iOS 8, iOS 7, iOS 6, iOS 5, or iOS 4.
Compatible with all of the latest iPhone encrypted backup formats.
Software is good for installation on an unlimited amount of computers and for reading an unlimited number of backups. Each purchase comes with two free device activations.
There are no recurring monthly fees or subscriptions.
Resources for Child Custody Issues with a Narcissist
Aren’t you tired of being miserable yet? Don’t you wish you could just be happy already?
If you’ve ever been in a relationship with a narcissist, you already know that they tend to cause a great deal of misery and unhappiness in their wake.
In fact, narcissists and those diagnosed with narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) are often toxic to the people they claim to love the most. (more…)
Whether you’re just beginning a relationship with a new guy or it’s just now getting serious, if you’re here reading this article, there’s a chance that things aren’t perfect just yet. (more…)
