“Why do New Years Resolutions fail? Mainly, because they are only a statement, or what we wish for in the coming year. There are usually no action plans, no deadlines, no backup plans. Sometimes they are unrealistic resolutions, with no other thought or plans beside the statement.” ~Catherine Pulsifer
Nearly half of all Americans make at least one New Year’s resolution every year, yet statistics show that in most cases, three out of four of them will fail at manifesting their desires. And statistically speaking, resolutions most often revolve around four categories, including weight, money, self-improvement, education and relationships. But only 1 in 4 succeed.
So, why the low success rate? Are we just doomed to fail? What can we do to ensure that our New Year’s Resolutions stick this year?
Maybe that’s because, a lot of times, we make resolutions based on what other people want or what we feel society wants from us. That is, we make the resolutions we think we SHOULD, instead of making resolutions that are in line with our true divine desires.
Remember that movie, Dirty Dancing? And how Nobody Puts Baby In a Corner?
(I know this is a kind of silly example, but just go with me on this for a second, okay?)
Let’s say you are the young daughter of a doctor in the 1960’s. Your family goes on a summer-long vacay, and though your father hopes you’ll spend your free time with the dorky son of the resort owner, your heart wants the dangerous and oh-so-sexy bad boy staff dance instructor. (And really, who can blame you?) You try in earnest to do as your father wishes and like the big nerd, but you can’t seem to stay away from that big hottie and his swerving hips.
It’s the same deal with New Year’s resolutions–no matter how much you think you can change your true divine desires based on someone else’s will, the fact is that you will inevitably turn back toward your own. As the old saying goes, the heart wants what the heart wants. And, statistics show, you’re most likely to fall back into old patterns within the first few weeks (days in some cases) of making your resolution.
The obvious solution to the “should” scenario is to figure out what you really want and make your resolutions based on your own desires. Doing anything else is just futile. You’ll just end up frustrated as you experience a significant blow to your self-esteem.
If you choose to make New Year’s resolutions this year, be sure they’re based around your own wants and needs, not those of the people or society around you.
But there’s more. You need a plan if you’re going to succeed.
Instead of fleshing out the hows and the whys of their New Year’s resolutions, many people just blindly resolve to make change. New Year’s Day comes along and they have a goal, but no plans or ideas on how they can accomplish it.
So, for example, let’s say that Joe Blow resolves to lose 50 pounds. New Year’s Day comes along and Joe has no clue how he plans to make his goal a reality. He has taken no inspired action to prepare for his new lifestyle–so he shrugs his shoulders and grabs his customary breakfast of donuts and Mountain Dew, figuring he’ll try again tomorrow. Of course, tomorrow never comes, because Joe never had a plan.
If you want to succeed in manifesting your desires, you must take inspired action. So, in Joe Blow’s case, he could have done his research, found a jogging partner, and restocked his kitchen with healthy foods. Any step toward achieving your ultimate goal can be just the trigger you need to finally succeed–and the more you physically and mentally prepare yourself, the more likely you are to make that goal a reality.
What many people don’t recognize is that planning and taking inspired action towards one’s ultimate goals can actually help to enact the law of attraction in their favor. That’s because as you work toward achieving your goal, you’ll naturally visualize and imagine yourself achieving the goal. This helps you to get on the right vibrational level to attract and manifest your desires. Good stuff, if you ask me.
What do you think? Will you set resolutions this year that are in line with your true divine desires? Will you take inspired action to make them stick?
Editor’s Note: Please enjoy this retro post, written in 2008. It still rings true today. I hear a lot of married folks complaining because their spouses just aren’t as romantic or sweet as they used to be. In fact, I may have complained of the same thing once or twice in years past…but that was before.
Now, I’ve learned a few things. While my husband hardly ever comes home on his white horse, his arms overflowing with dozens of fragrant red roses, he’s not so bad. In fact, he’s pretty good.
The older I get, the more I’m able to recognize the romantic ways my husband tells me he loves me. Like, for example, because we have three kids and didn’t have a babysitter, we spent our anniversary at home, eating the dinner I’d cooked, with our kids.
Not exactly romantic, right? But then, the next day, my wonderful husband came home for lunch, surprising me with Chinese takeout. When he walked in the door, he handed me the bag and said, “Happy Anniversary, baby.” So, while I giggled when he made the gesture, it was still a genuinely sweet thing for him to do.
Another thing he does to tell me he loves me is spend time with our children. Yes, I know…that shows he loves THEM, right? Yep. But every mom, especially those of us blessed enough to stay home with our children, could use a break now and then. So when he notices that I could use one, he makes sure to entertain the kids so that I can have a few minutes to myself.
Yesterday, I went out to run some errands and took Bill’s car since it was behind mine in the driveway. While I was out, I filled up his gas tank. He didn’t ask me to do it, and certainly didn’t expect me to do it–but I thought, it would save him the time the next day and it would be a nice thing to do for him. Certainly, it was a small gesture, but it was one small way I let him know that I love him and care for him.
My point is this: happily married people have lives full of love and romance…but romance changes when you’re married with children. Roll with the changes and remember to show your spouse that you appreciate them. Doing so lets them know that you love them, in your own special way.
“The path of least resistance and least trouble is a mental rut already made. It requires troublesome work to undertake the alternation of old beliefs.” ~ John Dewey
Do you ever feel like you’re stuck in a rut? The way you approach each day largely determines the kind of life you have.
At some point, you’ve most likely experienced a troublesome event until you decided to adjust how you looked at the situation. Then, once you altered your perspective, you were able to clarify the issues and find a solution.
Changing your perspective can be enlightening. A fresh look at a situation can even open your eyes to see a person differently.
Try these strategies to alter your perception for more positive results in your life:
Entertain the improbable. Maybe you don’t think something is possible. But what if your desire could become a possibility by just changing your perspective? For example, maybe you’ve tried dieting over and over again without getting the results that you want. But what if this time, you shift your perspective from dieting to changing your lifestyle. You could then state with confidence, “I am losing weight and getting fit.”
Vow to be more accepting. New people and situations are inevitable. Sometimes, the best way to change your perspective is to be open to new ideas brought by your new acquaintances. Why not see what happens if you’re more open-minded and accepting? Tell yourself you’re letting go of your “old” templates for looking at things.
Seek a more positive lifestyle. Whenever you want to enhance your life, shift the way you see something to a more positive position. Let’s say your two sisters went out shopping and didn’t invite you to go. You might feel left out, rejected, and even angry about it. But what if you were to view the situation differently, even positively? Perhaps they didn’t really plan to shop. Maybe it happened spontaneously out of a need they both had to go shopping for something right then. Plus, your birthday’s coming up in 2 weeks. Maybe they’re planning a special surprise for you. Recognize that when you focus on having a more positive life, your perspective will change for the better.
Avoid any old ways of looking at things. When you make the connection that your perspective is what creates any discontent you feel, you can then choose to view things differently. For example, let’s say you usually think your boss gives you the project with the most work just because he wants to dump on you. What would happen if you were to shift your perspective to the idea that your manager trusts you most to successfully complete the most challenging projects? You’d feel a lot differently about your boss, job, and your own abilities.
Give people another chance. Even if someone has upset you, entertain the idea that it wasn’t intentional. Maybe they were having a rough day or made a mistake in judgment. Perhaps a misunderstanding took place between you. One of the best ways to get out of a rut is to change how you respond to those around you. A beautiful strategy to change your perspective is to let go of a grudge. Try it, you’ll love it. After all, grudges and anger hurt you far more than they hurt the other person.
If you want to get out of a rut, try applying these techniques to change your perspective. You’ll discover the power you have over your own life and be thrilled with the results.
You have the power to change yourself! Read the following affirmations to yourself–say them out loud if you can–and then take a moment of self-reflection before you answer the questions below.I have the power to change myself.
I am confident in my ability to effect change in my world. When I want or need something, I am capable of producing it in my life. Of course, this ability extends to me, too. I have the power to change myself.
The ways I naturally am and how I choose to operate in the world suit me just fine. However, sometimes I find a better means of accomplishing things in my life. When this happens, I move to make changes.
Whether my progress comes slowly or quickly, I notice change taking place and congratulate myself for my diligent work.
To support myself in altering my habits, I nourish all areas of my life. I get plenty of rest, exercise to keep my mood up, and eat foods that invigorate me. Also, I set aside a little time just for myself each week. All of these practices give me the strength to make the changes that I desire.
This self-confidence supports my ability to make changes. Whether these modifications are small, such as choosing a more efficient route to work, or big, like maintaining a more positive perspective, I know I always have the capability to reshape myself as I like.
1. What are some positive changes I have made in myself in the past year?
2. What are some things I have become good at by practicing?
3. How can I cultivate my self-confidence and ability to effect change in my life?
A certain spiritual leader (one I happen to respect very much) called me yesterday with some concerns over the first post in the Writing Your Own Story series. It seems that she felt it was important to note that one cannot make real life changes without taking action–and she’s right.
She was concerned that I was giving the wrong message–that one only needed to imagine that change was occurring and then it would magically happen.
I stand by my statement that change begins in your head–you must believe that it is possible (and that you can and will achieve your goals) in order to create the changes you desire in your life.
However, she is absolutely on target in that we need to recognize that the change in perspective which begins to move you toward your goals must be followed by inspired action.
For example, in the Creating Personal Change series, we discussed making positive changes in your environment. And, while the success of this endeavor certainly depends on your perception of your ability to complete this task–the fact is, one cannot effect environmental change without a little elbow grease (or, at the very least, the ability to call for help, and enough money to pay someone else to do it for you.)
Still, inspired action, while it may be hard work, shouldn’t make you feel bad. I addressed this issue in the post entitled What have you accomplished today? last year.
Dr. Joe Vitale, one of the experts who worked with Rhonda Byrne in writing The Secret, said it best when he addressed this very issue in his own blog. Following is an enlightening excerpt from Dr. Vitale’s post.
Many fans of the law of attraction think you don’t take any action. You simply sit like a good magnet and wait for your vibes to slide the thing you want over to your chair.
I believe that you usually if not always have to take action of some sort, but that your action isn’t effort if it comes from your heart.
That’s the key difference.
People run marathons, lift weights, climb mountains, write books, travel on horseback, jump out of planes, make hundreds of sales calls a day, and much more.
It’s all action.
But if they do it because they want to do it, because it bubbles out of their passion to do it, then it’s not effort.
Again, the law of attraction doesn’t mean you don’t do anything; it means what you do is effort-free.
For example, I write an astonishing amount of books, articles and blog posts. If you didn’t like writing, you’d think what I’m doing is gruelling. But I love what I do. So my action isn’t effort. It’s simply right action for me.
If you think running up a mountain is insane, you won’t take that action because if you did, it would require enormous effort.
When you practice what you learn from the movie The Secret, things do begin to come to you without much effort or action on your part. But that doesn’t mean you won’t have anything to do.
I was able to attract a new car — namely Francine — by knowing what I wanted and then taking action when prompted from the inside to drive over to San Antonio one day.
To me, the law of attraction works to make life easier, but not because you don’t take action, but because the action you take is natural for you.
My challenge to you today is to take one small step toward becoming the YOU of your dreams. Knit a scarf, write a poem, open a savings account–whatever you do, do it with your goal in mind.
Feel it, be it, do it, have it. Believe that your desires are yours, and then take inspired action toward attaining them.
Coming Soon: Part Three of this series, Writing Your Own Story: Filling Your Vessel
“The path of least resistance and least trouble is a mental rut already made. It requires troublesome work to undertake the alternation of old beliefs.” ~ John Dewey
I have the 
