Bonchay is also a survivor, so when she realized that very few people knew about narcissistic abuse, she felt moved to take action to raise awareness.
Her book, “I Am Free,” is a groundbreaking compilation that uses real-life stories to illustrate how survivors can escape unhealthy relationship dynamics.Meet Bree Bonchay, the founder, and discover why this day matters.
Talking World Narcissistic Abuse Awareness Day with Founder Bree Bonchay
Why is World Narcissistic Awareness Day so important?
“Narcissistic abuse is such an under-recognized public health issue because describing what you can’t see or prove presents a huge challenge, and narcissists can easily present themselves as loving guardians and partners,” Bonchay said in a press release, noting that this is why she had chosen to use the hashtag #IfMyWoundsWereVisible.
“That’s more people than are affected by depression,” she said. “Yet there is a lack of public education and awareness campaigns about it.”
Think about how profound this is: If this were any other physical or mental health issue, it could qualify as a pandemic — underscoring the need for greater awareness.
“It’s important we raise awareness about narcissistic abuse not only to protect the individual victim but because ultimately it impacts us all,” she said. And this, my friends, is one of the many reasons we are here at QueenBeeing, doing what we do to serve our fellow survivors.
What does the #IfMyWoundsWereVisible hashtag mean?
“We came up with the hashtag, #IfMyWoundsWereVisible, because, unlike physical abuse where a single strike or blow, narcissistic abue often leaves marks or bruises and qualifies an act of domestic violence, narcissistic abuse is invisible,” Bonchay said. “Narcissistic abuse is the sum of many unseen injuries.
World Narcissistic Abuse Awareness Day is an occasion to remember that abuse has no boundaries and that everyone should be informed about narcissism, narcissistic personality disorder (NPD), and narcissistic abuse recovery.
Start Getting Help with Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Today
At your request, I have interviewed Richard Grannon! In this video, I’ll share the first part of the interview – find out why he does what he does – and what he’s got planned for the future. Plus: a fun lightning round!
About: Richard Grannon, NLP (neuro-linguistic programming) Master Practitioner, is passionate about helping people defend themselves, get back on their feet, and finally free themselves from narcissistic abuse. Richard attended Aston University, where he studied Psychology and trained under Richard Bandler, the co-developer of Neuro-Linguistic Programming. Much of Grannon’s specific interest in narcissistic abuse originally stemmed from personal relationships — he’d witnessed it firsthand before and could tell something that something was wrong or “off,” yet he couldn’t quite identify it. It was only through his psychological training that he began to recognize patterns of narcissistic abuse.
Richard realized that this was likely the case for victims worldwide: they were either unaware of how they were being treated, or unaware of any possible solutions to their problems. Richard graduated with a BSc in Psychology and a renewed sense of purpose. He could offer direct, practical solutions for narcissistic abuse victims and help them reclaim their self-worth.
As a NLP Master Practitioner Richard Grannon cherishes his ability to reach a wide range of people. He’s worked with people from all kinds of different backgrounds and guided them toward the way out, all while helping them take back their power and sharpen their sense of reality. He draws on elements of numerous forms of psychotherapy, such as NLP, cognitive behavioral therapy, zen meditation, psychodynamics and more, to create the most effective and personalized solutions possible for each individual client.
One of Richard’s most effective ways of promoting healing and growth is by running a course for overcoming narcissistic abuse. The sad truth behind the concept is that there is little recognition of it as a major problem for victims, and Richard decided to create his own resource that people could turn to: the Spartan Life Coach course. The course directly addresses the mental health needs of victims of emotional and psychological abuse, and provides life-changing video tutorials, hypnosis visualization tracks, and written exercises.
Although Richard started his career doing one-on-one sessions, he now focuses more on courses like this as well as seminars so that he can reach more people than ever and inspire hope around the globe.
No matter what his professional role is, Richard Grannon believes in empowering people and helping them rediscover their own worth.
High sensitivity is a normal trait found in roughly 20% of the population, so it’s quite common. The proper term for this trait is Sensory-Processing Sensitivity or SPS. The brains of those with SPS function a little differently than those without the trait. Nearly all animals have demonstrated this trait, including dogs, cats, fish, and horses. Even insects can have the SPS trait.
If you or someone you know is a highly sensitive person, understanding this trait can be helpful. There’s no known “cure,” and there’s no need for one. One out of five people have the SPS trait. It doesn’t require treatment, but learning how to manage it can be useful in certain situations.
Highly sensitive people often share a set of traits:
Cry easily. You know the type. They cry at commercials. They cry when overstressed or uncertain. While crying is nothing to be ashamed of, highly sensitive people are often embarrassed by how easily they can be brought to tears.
React more strongly. It’s common to “overreact” when you’re highly sensitive. Things that upset the average person upset a highly sensitive person a lot. All emotional reactions are stronger and can seem excessive.
Make decisions more slowly. Highly sensitive people are committed to making the best possible decisions. They painstakingly go over every detail and consider all the possibilities. It can take a significant amount of time to get it right. Be patient when they’re making a decision.
Are more self-critical. Highly sensitive people are highly self-critical. They know how to beat themselves up. Anything less than perfection can be a source of anxiety and embarrassment.
Care about the details. The highly-sensitive notice everything. No detail is too small to make note of.
Are more annoyed by stray stimuli. Whether it’s a squeaking noise in the car or a stray pebble in their shoe, highly sensitive people are less able to ignore annoying stimuli. Highly sensitive people are easily overstimulated and overwhelmed by things that barely register in the awareness of the average person.
Take criticism poorly. Even mild criticism can elicit a strong emotional reaction in those that are highly sensitive. Make an effort not to over-react if you’re highly sensitive. Give yourself time for your emotions to return to normal before responding.
They are easily overwhelmed by time pressure. When there’s a lot to get done in a short amount of time, they can become bogged down by their anxiety very easily.
Does any of this sound familiar? If so, do you feel relieved to have a better understanding of yourself or someone else in your life?
There are many things you can do to mitigate the potential negative effects of the SPS trait:
Get enough sleep.
Avoid excessive amounts of caffeine. You don’t need additional stimulation.
Spend time in relaxing environments each day. Create your own space.
Avoid spending too much time in noisy, highly-stimulating environments.
Give yourself enough time to complete tasks.
Take the time you need before reacting to any emotional upset.
Be understanding of any highly sensitive people in your life. Remember that the condition is genetic. Asking someone with the SPS trait to be less sensitive is like asking a 25-year old to be taller.
A highly sensitive person might not be the person to take to a weekend rock music festival, but you’ll never find a more attentive listener.
There are advantages to being highly sensitive. Being observant and detail-oriented can be a valuable trait in the right setting. Make the most of what you have to work with and you’ll find life to be more fulfilling.
When you experience a spiritual awakening, it can change your life for the better. You’ll find that you’re making moves that will automatically manifest into positive steps that improve your well-being both physically and emotionally.
You might notice that you begin to withdraw from some of the old crowd of friends and acquaintances that you know. Once you start on a journey of spiritual awakening, it can open your eyes to the truth about your relationships.
You might discover that while you’re growing and evolving into a better person, it creates too much space between you and the old crowd. You don’t feel the same, so the relationships don’t feel the same.
Once you’re more aware, you may sense that what was okay before is not okay now and you feel awkward around those people. What was once acceptable might feel like you’re surrounded by people who deplete your joy and positivity – especially if those people have a cynical or hateful way of looking at the world and other people.
It’s normal to begin to feel pulled toward people who are more in sync with your newly heightened self. When you’re around those people, you don’t feel mentally and emotionally wiped.
Instead, you feel positive about yourself and the world. You’ll notice that you have a deeper one-ness with people who are also spiritually awakened. There’s an emotional and a spiritual link.
Once you experience a spiritual awakening, you’ll feel a deep desire and motivation to take action when you see suffering. You’ll feel driven to get involved in your community as well as around the globe.
Your desire will be to make a difference – to leave an impact on the lives of other people. When you do see someone suffering, you might feel grief and be inspired to see how you can help.
You’ll find that you’re pouring your life into other people and you’ll feel as if you’re living out your purpose. Going through a spiritual awakening is like walking through a door into freedom as you lay aside the things that keep you from being fully who you are.
You’ll discover that not only do you feel more energized and happier, but that you also have room to take part in what inspires you. You’ll discover a stronger motivation to go after what it is that you want to accomplish as your soul becomes freer to manifest who you are creatively.
It will seem like it’s all one connection and that you’re taking part in what it was that you were born to do all along. The craving for a spiritual awakening sets you free to throw off the constraints that have kept you burdened by how the world or other people say or think you must live.
You’ll be free to toss aside the pretense of living a life that’s not truly you as you learn who you are and what it is that matters to you. The way you see the world and the people in it will change and you won’t be willing to live in any way that defies what your purpose on earth is.
This knowledge will lead to an incredible lightness within you because you will be in touch with who you are. You’ll understand that it’s you, not others, who knows what you’re meant to do as you reach a point of consciousness you didn’t previously have.
Your life will improve physically as well because once you become aware, you’ll feel a desire to nurture yourself and to take care of who you are. This often leads to a better way of eating so that you desire foods that build your energy and your health rather than those that take away from it.
Food isn’t the only physical manifestation of an awakening. You’ll go through changes that improve emotional areas of your life. One of these areas is in how you view emotions.
You’ll come to understand the power of negative and positive emotions. This will help you to understand what kind of reality it is that you’re creating for yourself. When you fret and you become anxious, it leads to a state of constant alertness, fear and worry.
This makes it harder for emotions such as love and happiness to be fully realized and manifested in your life. But through a spiritual awakening, you’ll discover that the negative emotions lose their power and you’ll act out of compassion and courage in your own life and in the lives of other people.
Another improvement that you’ll notice is that you’re no longer invested in emotional drama. You will no longer want to be in the middle of arguing and negativity.
Situations where someone is verbally hurting others or where there’s a situation that stirs up negativity will be distasteful to you and you’ll discover that it’s easier to leave it alone and walk away and not engage in drama.
This strength in you will ensure that you have peace. After a spiritual awakening, you won’t want to engage in situations where you’re sitting in judgment and you won’t put up with that negative track playing inside your own head, either.
You’ll learn that it’s easier to love others and yourself in a way that you never have before. You’ll be able to view yourself with tenderness, love and grace and you’ll extend that to others as well.
The change that you’ll go through will help you see that you can serve others without getting recognition. It won’t matter to you if someone else gets the glory. You won’t need your ego pumped up.
Instead, you’ll just be happy that you can make a difference in the lives of other people. With all that you do and all that you give back, you’ll find that it’s done from a deep well of joy.
You’ll appreciate your life and the lives of others. You’ll find that you have a spunk and a vitality for life and for giving. The well of happiness you have inside will overflow within you and you’ll see that you can find contentment in any situation with any circumstances.
The Types of Spiritual Awakening
When you crave a spiritual awakening, that can mean different things to each person. For some, it’s religious based. For others, it’s simply a different kind of awareness, so let’s look at how these options compare.
Some people begin with a desire to have a deeper connection to God or a higher power of a religious nature. Many people start to seek a higher power as they become aware that they’re not completely fulfilled.
They may start to feel empty and feel a strong need for spiritual accompaniment on life’s journey. Some people think of this as an awareness that they were created by a being and when they go through it, they feel stronger and more peaceful once they feel a connection to God.
It helps them be able to handle stress better and they believe that there is a higher power that they can turn to with life’s frustrations and problems. Another type of awakening is to experience an awareness of intellectual growth.
This awareness can be sudden or gradual. It’s an experience where a person grows in wisdom as if their eyes are opened when they weren’t before. When you have this type of spiritual awakening, it makes you more aware of growing and transforming your life into something that makes you feel as if you’re living out your purpose.
When you experience the awakening, it feels like you have a different type of energy vibrating through you and filling your body. You feel connected between your body, mind and soul.
This allows you to obtain a higher degree of consciousness. When you experience a mind awakening – which is basically the same as an intellectual growth type of awakening – you see things differently, more clearly than you have before.
It’s as if you suddenly gained wisdom that you didn’t have previously. When this occurs, you’ll not only look at yourself through new eyes, but also the people and the world around you as well.
A mind awakening stretches the boundaries of your mental state and enlarges your ability to understand your existence. It’s like you were seeing and understanding through a cloud before and now all of a sudden, that cloud is gone and everything is sharp.
You’ll be able to view your life in a way that’s objective so you can see deeper into it. You understand what’s real and lasting and has purpose and what doesn’t.
You’ll find it easier to disengage from things that don’t have any permanent value in the world. This type of spiritual awakening allows you to be more mindful than ever before.
You’ll be able to be fully present in your life and live in each moment. Your life becomes richer and deeper and more meaningful. One type of spiritual awakening that a person can go through is known as an internal self awakening.
Most people believe this has to do with who you are at your core. This type of awakening can change you as a person. It makes you behave differently and it’s almost as if you’ve become a completely new person.
You desire a wholeness within yourself and you seek complete authenticity in every area of your life – from yourself, from your relationships and in your career. This type of awakening makes you reject anything that doesn’t ring true and doesn’t help you grow as an individual.
When you experience it, you become more tolerant and more loving toward yourself and others. You may also go through a spiritual awakening that has to do with your soul.
This isn’t to be confused with an awakening as in acknowledging a higher power. This is a sudden craving for spiritual connections. Instead of seeing yourself as just a person, you begin to see yourself as someone who has spirituality.
This awakening makes what you experience in life change your consciousness. Your sense of energy and your awareness of who you are will grow. You’ll be able to feel a stronger link between yourself and what’s true to you spiritually.
Your mind and soul will be more in tune with nature and you’ll begin a path of purpose that will lead you toward a deeper evolvement of who you are. Finally, there is an awakening that’s linked with different beliefs in the consciousness.
You’ll find this within certain yoga practices, in Buddhism and in Zen practices. This type of awakening also gives you a deeper level of consciousness – which is often referred to as enlightenment.
Plus, you’ll develop a new connection that allows you to feel completely true to yourself. Not only will you feel one with yourself, but with the world as well. You’ll feel a new freedom from constraints within yourself and a true awareness that will allow you to feel the light within yourself.
When you experience this kind of spiritual awakening, it makes you have harmony as well as be able to walk in it.
The faces of parental narcissism have a number of effects on the children – and as they become adult children of narcissists (ACON), their personalities are formed around this sort of misunderstanding of themselves as seen through the eyes of the narcissistic parent.
If you have (or know) a child who has a narcissistic parent or grandparent, you may be asking yourself how you can help them cope and what you can do to avoid the negative effects of being the child of a narcissist.
Whether you’re dealing with a covert narcissist mother or an “out there” narcissist father or grandparent, you are or were dealing with gaslighting and manipulation, to say the very least. In this video, I’ll explain the effects on the children in various stages and also how you can help them combat it.
Are you the adult child of a narcissistic mother?
Have you been affected by narcissistic abuse in your childhood and now you’re struggling? Are your narcissistic parents still messing with your life? Are you considering going no contact with your narcissistic mother or father? There is help and support available for you.