Want to be healthier? Be more grateful, research says

Want to be healthier? Be more grateful, research says

“Acknowledging the good that you already have in your life is the foundation for all abundance.” ~Eckhart Tolle

Going through narcissistic abuse leaves you feeling mentally, physically, and otherwise unwell. If you’re going through it now, you might notice that you’ve been feeling a little off lately. Maybe you’re getting all sorts of colds or you can’t seem to stop getting those chin pimples. Or maybe it’s something in your head making you feel bad – like going through narcissistic abuse – and even narcissistic abuse recovery.

See. the side-effects of the C-PTSD (complex post-traumatic stress disorder) suffered by many survivors of narcissistic abuse are difficult and often painful. I’ve got great news for you – the answer to your health problems could be as simple as feeling thankful more often. No seriously!

Feeling grateful can actually improve your health.

Did you know that gratitude can have a tremendous impact on your health? A recent study entitled The Role of Gratitude in Spiritual Well-Being in Asymptomatic Heart Failure Patients found that it plays an important part in overall well-being. Do you understand what that means?

The study found that being thankful helped improve the health of heart disease patients. Even better, according to researchers, this discovery has much wider implications, and they say it can help anyone. So, you don’t have to be a heart disease patient to benefit from showing gratitude to others.

How to Use Gratitude Practices to Get Healthy Faster in Narcissistic Abuse Recvoery

Anyone, including narcissistic abuse survivors, can be thankful and see improvements in their health.

Try these strategies to use gratitude to benefit your health:

Understand what it feels like to be grateful and do it often.

Being thankful is an important part of staying healthy.

  • Do you show your gratitude when it matters?
  • Do the people in your life feel you appreciate them? Have you told them how much you enjoy the things they do?
  • Being grateful may require a conscious effort. It’s important to start noticing your thought processes and how you react to various situations.

How can you show gratitude to your loved ones?

The people who are closest to you need to know you appreciate them.

  • You can begin to show gratitude by thanking them for a specific action.
  • You can also show your thoughtfulness by doing small things for them and making their lives easier.
  • Sharing your time is important. Offer to do something your loved ones may enjoy. This will show you care and pay attention to their lives. It also shows you want to help.
  • Everyone loves compliments, so give them out frequently with love.

How can you show gratitude to your coworkers?

They spend hours with you and need to know you appreciate them.

  • Send thank-you notes to your coworkers to show them you care.
  • Show your gratitude by bringing them lunch or offering to buy it for them.
  • Sometimes just listening to your coworkers can be a good way to show your gratitude.
  • Bring flowers to work to brighten your coworkers’ day.

How can you show gratitude to strangers?

You may not know their name or life story, but the strangers you meet throughout the day can also benefit from gratitude.

  •  Does the person who makes your coffee stand next to a tip jar? You can make a generous tip and help brighten their day. You can also point out something they have done well.
  •  You don’t have to know your servers’ names to be grateful. You can thank them, compliment them, and share something positive.

How can you show gratitude for yourself?

Last but certainly not least, you’ve got to think about yourself too! Take a minute and notice the wonderful things that are happening in your life and be thankful for them each day.

  • Sometimes making a simple list of all the positive and good things in your life can start you on the path to gratitude.
  • Remember to give yourself compliments, too, ya hottie. 😉
  • Thinking about the positive things you have done for others can help you see how you impact the world.

Gratitude is an important part of life, and showing it to others can help strengthen your health. It’s crucial to note the positive things occurring every day. There are many ways to be thankful, so you can share the joy (and health benefits) with the people you care about.

Get help with narcissistic abuse recovery right now.

How to Stop Feeling Like You’re Not Good Enough, Part 2

How to Stop Feeling Like You’re Not Good Enough, Part 2

 It took me a long time not to judge myself through someone else’s eyes.  ~Sally Field

As I was checking my email today, I received a notification that a new comment had arrived on a post I did on this blog about how to stop feeling like you’re not good enough. This comment touched me so deeply that I felt the need to reach out to the commenter, Kate, and anyone else in her position.

Kate wrote:

I have been doing what that article recommends. Unfortunately, I’m feeling even more inferior every time. It is getting worse, day by day.

Now what?

The first thing I want Kate to know is that she’s not alone. According to Dr. Joe Rubino, approximately 85% of people have experienced feelings of inferiority at some time in their lives. That’s nearly EVERYONE. I realize that doesn’t make it all better, but sometimes just knowing you’re not alone can help one begin the healing process.

And, for Kate and anyone who feels like they’re not good enough, I’d like to offer a few more suggestions, in addition to the ones made in this post.

Remember That You Are Freaking Fabulous

If you hear a voice within you say “you cannot paint,” then by all means paint, and that voice will be silenced.  ~Vincent Van Gogh

Often times, when we feel like we’re not good enough, we are focusing on all of the things we think are ‘wrong’ with us. We worry that people won’t like us, or that they’ll think bad things about us. We feel like we don’t look good enough, that we’re not smart enough, that we’re just generally terrible people.

But what does this get us? More reasons to feel crappy about ourselves. So, I propose that we start focusing on the things we like about ourselves, the things that make us proud. Maybe you’re a good painter, or you can cook a perfect souffle, or you’ve never met an animal who doesn’t love you. Perhaps you have a beautiful smile, sparkling eyes or a great pair of legs. There is something special about every single person on the planet, and you’re no exception.

Sit down with a piece of paper and write down at least ten GOOD things about you. Write down things you love about your body (it gets you from point A to B, for example!), things you love about your personality (that sparkling wit of yours, maybe) and things you love about your life in general (you have good friends or a close-knit family, a roof over your head, etc.)

Then spend a few minutes feeling grateful for each thing on that list. Gratitude is a powerful tool, and when you focus and are grateful for the things you love in life, you draw more things to love into your life.

And Speaking of Gratitude

If a fellow isn’t thankful for what he’s got, he isn’t likely to be thankful for what he’s going to get.  ~Frank A. Clark

Start a gratitude journal. You can even create a private blog for your gratitude journal, if you like. That’s what I did, since as a writer, I’m nearly always near a computer. Try to write in it each day. It doesn’t have to be fancy or complicated–just start each entry by saying “Today, I am so very grateful for…” and let it flow.

At first, it will feel a little awkward, but once you get going, it’ll flow like water. If you have trouble thinking of things to be grateful for, why not start with the fact that you woke up today and work from there. You can be grateful for your health, your senses, your friends and family, your home, your ability to read–the list goes on and on.

This practice alone can significantly improve your general outlook on life. And, as a nice little side effect, it can help to improve your self-esteem and feelings of self-worth. It works because as you spend more time focusing on the good things in your life and less time focusing on the things you want to change, the law of attraction works in your favor, bringing more reasons to feel good into your life.

Follow a Passion

“The more intensely we feel about an idea or a goal, the more assuredly the idea, buried deep in our subconscious, will direct us along the path to its fulfillment.”~Earl Nightingale

Everyone has some thing or activity in their lives that they’re passionate about. For me, it’s writing. I have always known that I wanted to be a writer, and have followed that passion on some level for most of my life. The years I spent scribbling into a journal between meetings and writing corporate publications for the companies I worked for were a little tough, but I survived and lived to have the opportunity to follow my passion full-time.

One friend of mine  is passionate about helping animals. She blogs about animals, volunteers for the Humane Society and helps raise funds for animal rights and assistance groups. Another friend is passionate about helping kids–and after getting her Masters Degree in Social Work, she has become a school social worker. Both are very happy in their lives.

While you may not have the option to “quit your day job” right now, there’s nothing stopping you from finding and following your passion on the side. Maybe you’ve always wanted to be a fashion designer. You could start by doing some research and taking some classes. If you already know how to design patterns and sew, why not start making clothes? You can set up a cheap or free website and start selling.

Nothing wrong with starting small–just do SOMETHING to follow your passion, anything at all.  Give yourself permission to call yourself a fashion designer (or writer, or artist, or actor, or astronaut, or whatever you want to be.) And then go and do, be and have what you want!

Studies show that people who follow their passions, whether in their careers or just as a hobby, are significantly happier than people who don’t.

Judge Not

“The secret of attraction is to love yourself. Attractive people judge neither themselves nor others. They are open to gestures of love. They think about love, and express their love in every action. They know that love is not a mere sentiment, but the ultimate truth at the heart of the universe.” ~Deepak Chopra

Most people unconsciously judge others. It’s human nature, and it doesn’t make you a bad person–but it might make you feel like one. When you are focusing, consciously or otherwise, on the faults in other people, you’re going to be more likely to see them in yourself too. The best way to change this pattern is to begin intentionally finding something good in every single person you meet.

So, for every person in your life and every person you meet, find at least one thing about them that makes them special. And be free with the compliments. Even if you barely know a person, you can find SOMETHING to compliment them about–and not only will you make their day, you’ll walk away feeling good about yourself too. Remember, what you put out into the world is what comes back to you. So if you’re walking around finding good and beautiful things and sharing the love by freely passing out compliments? You’ll find that you’re attracting the same back to yourself–beauty, love, compliments–and ultimately, a renewed sense of self.

To Kate

A successful person is one who can lay a firm foundation with the bricks that others throw at him or her.  ~David Brinkley

I hope that these suggestions help you as you move into a new place of peace and self worth. Know that you are worthy, you are special and you are an amazing person. Even (and especially) when you feel at your lowest, try to change your perception and see the beauty and good things all around you. Be grateful for your life, for your SELF, and for all of the good things in your life.

I have been where you are, Kate, and I know the pain and despair that comes with feeling like you’re not good enough. Nearly every person alive has felt just like you feel now. The trick is to decide that you don’t WANT to feel that way any more, and to start taking action to change it. And then, Kate, you have to BELIEVE that you can have the life you want. Believe it and trust that its yours, and watch as your life begins to transform itself to match your true divine desires. Keep your eye on the prize, my friend, it can and will get better!

And to the rest of my readers, have you ever felt like Kate feels? What sort of advice would you offer to a friend in her situation? Let me know in the comments.

 

 

 

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