The Surprising Dangers of HEV Light and How You Can Protect Yourself

The Surprising Dangers of HEV Light and How You Can Protect Yourself

HEV light is also known as high-energy visible light and is the blue light that electronic screens emit. If you use a phone, computer, tablet, or other device with a modern screen, then it’s probably emitting HEV light.

HEV light can cause serious health challenges, but there are things you can do to reduce the danger to your health.

Health Dangers

Consider these factors:

1. Health and aging concerns. One of the biggest concerns with HEV light is its impact on your skin.

HEV light is able to penetrate deep into your skin and can cause premature aging. The light is able to go farther than UVB or UVA rays. It can reach the collagen layers under your skin. This makes it dangerous and harmful.

  • Research shows that HEV light can cause hyperpigmentation. This results in patches of the skin becoming darker than other areas. They are also called dark spots.

2. Sleep concerns. Multiple studies have shown that blue light affects your sleep patterns.The blue light that comes from electronic devices can suppress melatonin in your body. However, you need melatonin to sleep properly. This can create a vicious cycle of not being able to fall asleep or to stay asleep.

  • Research reveals that people who use electronics before going to bed or while in bed have more issues with their sleep.

Reduce Your Danger From HEV Light

1. Sunblock remedies. Some experts believe that wearing regular sunblock will help block HEV light from reaching the deep layers of your skin. This is still being studied, but sunblock may help you avoid some of the harmful rays.

2. Reduce electronic usage. One of the most effective ways to stop the damage from HEV light is to use fewer electronics throughout the day.

  • Turn off your devices more often and enjoy the world around you. If your work requires you to use devices with screens, make a special effort to reduce your usage on the weekends.
  • Try to avoid watching screens for 2 hours before bedtime.
  • Put more distance between your face or other body parts and the screens. Avoid holding them too closely for a long period of time.

3. Turn off blue light. Some devices such as tablets let you turn off the blue light. This feature is often called sleep mode or another similar name. However, many users complain that it creates a new, weird color and makes it harder to read things on the screen.

4. Protect your skin. A healthy diet with antioxidants may offer some protection for your skin. Skin creams or lotions designed to help restore the dermis may also help protect your skin and repair the damage from HEV light and other sources such as UVA or UVB rays.

HEV light can negatively affect your health. Avoid neglecting your well-being just so you can check another email or message! Reduce your usage of modern electronics and take steps to alleviate the damage from your devices.

When Abuse Makes You Forget How to Talk About Yourself

When Abuse Makes You Forget How to Talk About Yourself


Communication as we all know is incredibly important in any relationship, but when we’ve been involved with narcissists, even the most skilled communicators can feel helpless and handicapped when it comes to being understood – narcissists will inevitably refuse to understand us, especially when what we’re saying is not something like “OMG, you’re so amazing.”

For example, try telling a narcissist exactly how you feel about the way they belittle and invalidate you – and watch how they twist the conversation around. In some of the most extreme cases, you will end up apologizing for not thinking they’re perfect and for having the nerve to even suggest otherwise.

And, when we go through years of this, not to mention that narcissists often isolate their victims from others who might actually offer some support, we sort of forget HOW to communicate – in a way. We stop feeling like we can (or even should) talk about OURSELVES, and we stop trying to make valuable contributions to conversations, in part because we’ve been conditioned to believe that we have nothing of value to say and nothing to offer.

We believe that we’re not good enough and that no one wants to hear what we have to say anyway. When we do speak up, we tend to keep it short and to the point when it relates to ourselves or our own opinions or beliefs.

There was a time in my life when, if you asked me a question about myself, I might not even know WHAT to say, or even if I did, I’d feel awkward saying it and wanted to get the attention off me as soon as possible.

This was because I had been conditioned to think that nothing about me was interesting or even worth hearing about.

When we go through narcissistic abuse, we might find ourselves dealing with depression.

We might also develop other issues – various compulsive behaviors, or an eating disorder or substance abuse problem, because sometimes, we try to sort of  ‘self-medicate” to deal with our issues.

We could have flashbacks or panic attacks, and we will most definitely deal with a certain amount of self-doubt. Some of us experience suicidal thoughts – and in the worst cases, some people find themselves seeking or even carrying out the abuse they experienced as a child. On the flip side of that, you may go so far in the other direction that you are a different kind of unhealthy – for example, an abused child who grows up to be a doormat parent (as in, allowing your kids to become spoiled and run the show). It’s a fine line, isn’t it?

But back to communication.

There are certain issues that can directly affect our ability to communicate after this kind of abuse – and as always, I’m going to tell you that I believe knowledge is power – and the first step to power is to realize there’s a problem. We’ve got to first discover it and then admit it if we’re ever going to heal.

So, after abuse, the issues that might affect your ability to communicate are multifaceted. The first one I’d like to outline is our heightened reactions to various common relationship issues – we may become triggered over something small, such as an innocently-used phrase that used to mean something awful. Example from one of my clients: her narcissist would always say “Who are you trying to impress?” So when she was later in a healthy relationship, this same phrase uttered by her new partner triggered her and caused her to revert for a moment to her “former self,” the abused self.

This leads to my next point: emotionally-fueled disagreements. When we’re healing, we don’t always know how to deal with conflict and we may get overly emotional when we don’t mean to. Going back to the client I just mentioned, in that situation, her trigger led her to an emotionally-fueled discussion with her new guy – but in his healthy state, he actually calmed her down by validating her and reminding her that it was okay to be emotional sometimes, and then by comforting her and HEARING her (IMAGINE!).

We may also withdraw and become unresponsive when triggered by our old issues, which obviously affects our ability to communicate, and we almost always feel a serious aversion to conflict. This can lead to an inability to talk through our issues especially if we feel judged or like the person we’re communicating with is somehow not on our side.

We may always have a lingering doubt about how our partners in the future feel about us and sometimes doubt their faithfulness, especially when our narcissists include romantic partners in the past.

And thanks to the fact that many of us have never felt loved unconditionally, we often find ourselves having difficulty accepting any love at all – we are suspicious of people who try to offer it to us and we often need repeated reassurance of the fact that someone cares about us.

This of course can push people away from us and isolate us even further, which will make communication even harder.

So how can we get over this? What can we do to improve our ability to communicate after abuse?

First of all, you have to let go of the fear and start with the basics. Let me ask you a few questions.

Do you dread talking to strangers or those you barely know? Some people seem to be born with the gift of gab. They talk to anyone, anywhere, anytime, about anything. By understanding a few strategies and putting in a little practice, you can talk to anyone with ease, too. You don’t have to be mesmerizing. You just have to convince the other person they are.


A successful social conversation puts the emphasis on your conversation partner. It’s also a highly effective way to sell products and services.

You can become an excellent conversationalist, even after narcissistic abuse. Try these tips.

1. Make a good first impression. People make a lot of conclusions about you before you ever open your mouth. Conveying the message that you’re friendly, confident, and relevant provides a huge advantage. People will naturally want to engage with you and will listen to what you have to say.

  • * Stand or sit up straight. Put on your best confident smile. Look them in the eye.

2. Pay attention. Everyone wants to matter. By giving your conversation partner your full attention, you can accomplish that with ease. Avoid looking at your watch, your phone, or scanning the room. Keep your attention on the other person.

3. Avoid worrying about what you’ll say next. This could easily fall under the previous point, but deserves specific attention. Are you one of those people that’s viewed as socially awkward? That’s because you’re worried about what you’re going to say next. You’re not listening intently to the other person.

  • * When your mind is furiously working to think of something to say, you become fidgety, your eye contact wavers, and your anxiety is obvious. It makes others uncomfortable. Just listen, and the other person will give you plenty of material to move the conversation forward.

4. Turn the spotlight on the other person. You’ll find that your most successful conversations will be about the other person. People love it when you show an interest in them. Keep turning the conversation toward the other person, their interests, and opinions. Your new friend will greatly enjoy the conversation.

5. Worried about running out of things to say? Repeat the last few words of your conversation partner.

  • * “So, you went scuba diving on the great barrier reef?” Then just sit back and relax.

6. Always have something interesting to say. You will have to contribute something interesting to the conversation on occasion. Be prepared. You wouldn’t blindly reach into a dark closet and wear the first thing your hand touched. There’s no reason to blurt out the first thing that comes to mind. Be prepared.

  • * Watch the news before you head out the door and be aware of the latest global and local happenings.
  • * Have a story or two prepared.

7. Expect success. Your expectations and results match more often than not. Expect to have a good conversation. Believe that you’re a great conversationalist. Visualize conversational success.

8. Give one sincere compliment. Avoid making a direct compliment, because it can be potentially awkward and begs for a response.

  • * “You’re the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen” is too much.
  • * “Wow, you obviously work out. What type of exercise do you do?” is very complimentary without going too far.
  • * One sincere compliment is enough.
  • Even after abuse, you can learn conversation skills – or re-learn them. 
7 Side-Effects of Narcissistic Abuse That Can Kill You

7 Side-Effects of Narcissistic Abuse That Can Kill You

Narcissistic abuse can KILL YOU! Do you think I’m joking? Maybe being a little dramatic?

Listen, we all know how hard it can be to live with, work with or really be in any sort of relationship with a toxic person, and this is especially true in the case of relationships with narcissistic people. A toxic relationship with a narcissist can literally kill you

Narcissists have a lot of major issues, right? One of the most perplexing is how horribly mean they can be to the people closest to them. It seems like own self-esteem is so low that they are often “on a mission” to destroy the self-esteem of everyone else in their path – this includes, of course, their favorite source(s) of narcissistic supply. But as if this drama weren’t enough, being a victim of narcissistic abuse leaves you with yet another (much more sinister) issue to worry about.

Narcissistic abuse and the trauma related to it can really negatively affect your health, and in certain extreme cases, can literally kill you. But before we talk about how narcissistic abuse can kill you, let me explain what I mean when I use the term “narcissistic abuse.”

What is Narcissistic Abuse?

Narcissistic abuse is a type of relationship abuse that is committed by a malignant narcissist (or someone who is or would be diagnosed with narcissistic personality disorder) and someone close to them, often a spouse or partner, a child or other family member, or a close friend. In some cases, narcissists will also abuse coworkers, subbordinates, neighbors and service people too.

Narcissistic abuse is hard to detect in many cases, as from the outside, everything might seem perfect. In fact, even in the mind of a narcissist’s victim, it can seem that the problem isn’t with the narcissist at all, but with the victim’s shortcomings and failures. In reality, this is so common because narcissistic abuse involves subtle manipulation, pervasive control tactics, gaslighting, and emotional and psychological abuse.

Many narcissistic abusers might be diagnosed with narcissistic personality disorder – if they actually go to a psychologist for diagnosis, but this rarely happens as narcissists don’t feel that there’s anything with them. They may be overtly narcissistic, or they may be more of a covert narcissist. In either case, anyone in a close relationship with one of these toxic people will be used as a form of narcissistic supply and not treated like an actual person. Sadly, even the most intelligent and educated people can be manipulated and abused by a narcissist.

7 Side-Effects of Narcissistic Abuse That Can Kill You

So, we’ve established the fact that that narcissistic abuse can cause a lot of problems – both emotionally and physically. If you want to stay healthy, you need to know what you’re dealing with. Perhaps recognizing how seriously this pervasive kind of abuse can affect your life might help you find the catalyst you need to get out of an abusive relationship with a narcissist. I hope it helps you to at least see that you’re not being dramatic when you feel abused by the narcissist in your life. It’s not as harmless as it seems.

Here are seven side-effects of narcissistic abuse that can literally kill you.

Depression

Depression is common in narcissistic abuse victims. During a toxic relationship, the narcissist will emotionally batter you. This will lead you to begin to feel worthless. Plus, the narcissist will abuse you to the point that you can’t stand dealing with anyone else’s emotional issues or concerns. This, along with a few other factors, will eventually isolate you from your friends and sometimes even your family. Isolation only gives you time to think about all the things that are wrong with you – of which of course, the narcissist is happy to remind you. This leads you to doubt yourself on literally every level, which causes you to go into a deeper depression. And depression, on its own, can lead to so many other issues.

Anxiety

Anxiety is another big issue for narcissistic abuse victims. The constant emotional abuse and psychological torment narcissistic people inflict on those closest to them cause a victim to live in a constant state of being alert (or even alarmed), and this can lead to extreme episodes of anxiety and panic attacks. Low self-esteem is pretty common in victims and survivors of narcissistic abuse. The side-effects of the lack of confidence combined with the ongoing emotional torture lead you to live in constant fear.

Stress 

Stress is a part of everyone’s lives, but it can be brutal and excessive for someone who’s dealing with narcissistic abuse. And due to the nature of narcissistic abuse, victims aren’t not likely to take the steps necessary to avoid some of their stress, which combined with all of the other effects of ongoing psychological abuse, causes their anxiety to build.

Weight Gain

Weight gain is very common for narcissistic abuse victims. A lot of narcissistic abuse survivors find they struggle with their relationships with food during the abuse and even in narcissistic abuse recovery later. I personally still struggle with this one on occasion. Of course, for anyone, gaining too much weight can cause life-threatening health issues, such as heart problems, sleep apnea, diabetes, and a host of other illnesses. And in most cases, it can further reduce your self-esteem and even lead to most other symptoms on this list.

Weight Loss 

In some cases, we make an intentional choice to lose weight. But while some people gain weight as a side effect of narcissistic abuse, others tend to develop different eating disorders, such as anorexia or bulimia. So, rather than overeating, they binge and purge their food or starve themselves, whether as a coping mechanism or in an effort to maintain a figure acceptable to their abusers. Unfortunately, the health complications associated with these eating disorders are as significant as the ones associated with being obese, if not more so. If you are struggling with an eating disorder, it really is life-threatening. I’m asking you personally to please get help immediately. You can call this Helpline for support, resources, and treatment options, and according to the organization’s website, “helpline volunteers are trained to help you find the information and support you are looking for.”

Addictions 

While some narcissistic abuse victims may find themselves addicted to food or shopping (and both of these can cause devastation in their own ways), others end up with more dangerous addictions. For example, some survivors end up being addicted to gambling, or sex. And then, there are the many who end up being addicted to alcohol, street drugs, or even prescription drugs. These addictions are common for narcissistic abuse victims as they often feel the need to sort of “numb out” during and after abuse episodes. Some say they get high on these drugs and live that moment in time in a different world where they have no cares and no problems. Unfortunately, it doesn’t always end well. Some addicted victims end up brain-damaged or even dead if the addiction isn’t dealt with in a healthy way. If you are struggling with an addiction that could risk your life, please don’t feel ashamed of yourself. I totally understand how you could end up where you are, and so does every other survivor of narcissistic abuse. What’s important now is that you do not give up on yourself, because you have a chance to live again.

Start by getting help with your addiction. SAMSHA (US Substance Abuse and Mental Health Association) has a free helpline you can call if you’re struggling with an addiction or even with mental health issues. Here’s the phone number: 1-800-662-4357 According to the website, “SAMHSA’s National Helpline is a free, confidential, 24/7, 365-day-a-year treatment referral and information service (in English and Spanish) for individuals and families facing mental and/or substance use disorders,” and the service offers “confidential free help, from public health agencies, to find substance use treatment and information.”

Brain Damage

In addition to the brain damage that can be caused by certain addictions, most long-term narcissistic abuse victims experience a form of brain damage that results in some C-PTSD symptoms. Another common issue that could be related to the brain damage caused by narcissistic abuse is fibromyalgia and some related conditions, such as chronic pain and certain autoimmune issues. Trauma bonding is a also major factor in the structural changes the brain goes through during ongoing abuse.

These are only a few of the major health issues that narcissistic abuse can cause. I want you to ask yourself: is this toxic abuser worth your health? And without your health, what do you have left?

Please remember that you do not deserve to be abused. You do not deserve to have your life put at risk every day, nor do you deserve to have your health chipped away, bit by bit, by someone who genuinely does not care about how you feel, and who doesn’t believe that you are even a whole person.

Get help with your anxiety and PTSD or C-PTSD symptoms!

You might also like to read my latest book on narcissism in toxic relationships –  The Ultimate Toxic Relationship Survival Guide for Victims and Survivors of Narcissistic Abuse

More Books & eBooks on Narcissism and Relationships

Queen Bee QT: How Sitting Too Much Will Kill You (And 12 Ways to Live Longer)

Queen Bee QT: How Sitting Too Much Will Kill You (And 12 Ways to Live Longer)

We’ve all heard that sitting is the new smoking by now, right? 

Smoking_woman_Kelsey (more…)

Bliss Mission: Maintain Good Health

Bliss Mission: Maintain Good Health

Today’s AffirmationsHealthI am proactive about maintaining good health.

My continued health is one of my utmost priorities. I love the feeling I get when I know I am healthy, and so I do what is necessary to ensure I remain in tip-top shape. I take proactive steps to maintain good health.

I stay healthy by maintaining physical fitness, safeguarding against medical illness, and sticking to a nutritious diet. I focus on all three areas each day and make choices that contribute positively to my health and well-being.

I exercise even when I am tempted to skip it.

At times, when I lose the drive to get up and work out, I remind myself that in the long run, it serves to benefit me greatly. I also stop and think back to how invigorated I feel after exercise. I like that feeling and it re-motivates me to stick to my exercise routine.

There are times when an unhealthy food beckons to me. Even if I give in, I correct the damage by resuming healthy eating and exercise. I know that when I allow myself to indulge, I have the drive to turn the negative effects into positive.

Today, I continue to embrace the value of maintaining good health.

I know that unhealthy choices regarding eating and exercising can only serve to harm me. I prefer living in a way that can have long-serving and far-reaching positive effects on my life.

Ask Yourself These Self-Reflection Questions:

1. Do I share my positive stories about maintaining good health with others?
2. How do I handle knowing that I have developed a medical condition even after being proactive about good health?
3. Does my healthy lifestyle have a positive impact on other aspects of my life?

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