If you think you might have a book in you and you want to know how to get paid to write ebooks each month, you’re going to want to try this free Kindle ebook author training I’m doing tomorrow, Friday November 3 – see it and sign up right here.
Free training on how I make money every month on Amazon and Kindle – and how you can too – coming Friday, Nov. 3, 2017!
As the author of more than 20 books and ebooks, many of which you can see at BooksAngieWrote.com, I’m often asked how I managed to write so many books and how I can keep making money from them every month.
Since so many people ask me, I’m working on a new free training for people who want to do it too – are you one of them?
Do you want to write Kindle eBooks and make monthly royalties on your work?
A narcissistic harem is just a group of people who are dedicated to giving the narcissist supply. Often, they are unaware that they are part of the group. The group can include both lovers and platonic/family relationships.
Who are the members of a narcissistic harem?
If you ask me, what’s interesting is the various roles we play when we are a source of narcissistic supply. If we’re part of the narcissistic harem, the roles might include such roles as the following.
This special member of the harem has an important role. They are there to not only “get” the narcissist in their own clutches, but also to cause drama for the rest of the members. They live on a pedestal built by the narcissist and they often claim they “just haven’t met the right person yet.” The narcissist considers this person a challenge because they, like the narcissist, are unlikely to commit, so they seem hard to get.
In the case of the narcissistic harem, the flying monkeys often mean well, but they end up evangelizing the narcissist’s message, sometimes without even realizing it. Flying monkeys are often just other causalities of the narcissist’s manipulation tactics, but they’re always falling for it. If they’re not falling for it, they usually behave as a “co-abuser,” or people who are equally toxic and actively participating in the narcissist’s manipulative behavior, either happily or out of fear of the narcissist. This is where you see abuse by proxy behavior. in which the narcissist abuses you through the manipulation of another person.
The Old Standby
This can be an ex or a person who is just generally “there” for the narcissist when they need attention. It can also be a parent, sibling, or non-sexual friend. This person generally ends up causing drama, especially when the Tool finds out about them, or when they get enmeshed with one of the other members of the circle.
Depending on the narcissist, there’s almost always a partner – a “main” person in the harem. While the partner isn’t always a legal spouse or even the one who gets the most attention in the narcissist’s harem, she’s the one they’re all hiding the secrets from – and maybe the worst role you can be stuck with.
Between the gaslighting, love bombing, and flying monkeys, you end up forgetting your own identity as you desperately try to become the version of yourself that would make the narcissist happy.
If you’ve ever wondered how a narcissist keeps you in control, wonder no more. It’s all about the narcissistic abuse cycle that seems to have been designed specifically for that purpose. And if you have ever judged yourself or anyone else for falling for this type of person, you shouldn’t. After all, malignant narcissists, whether they’re cunning and calculating or they’re just doing “what they know,” are toxic to anyone who is unfortunate enough to be close to them.
But even if you manage to completely change yourself and morph into the narcissist’s idea of the imagined perfect person, it never matters.
Painful Truth: You Will Never Be Enough for a Narcissist
Here’s a harsh reality that we all have to understand. When it comes to the narcissist and their perception of you, you can never be enough. Even if you completely focus your energy on a narcissist, he or she will always look for somewhere else, something else to increase their own “supply” of attention. No matter how amazing you are – it will never be enough for a narcissist.
It’s Not You (Really)
Don’t let yourself be confused here – it’s DEFINITELY not YOU! It’s totally the way the narcissist’s convoluted mind works, and you can’t take personal responsibility for the broken person you’re dealing with – you just have to find your way to self-confidence and peace OUTSIDE of the narcissist.
The fact is that since the narcissist is so personally “broken” on the inside, nobody on earth can ever fill the endless hole of “need” he carries around – at least not for long.
There are so many manipulation tactics that most narcissists have in common that most of their victims say reading about the abuse suffered by others can feel like reading their own stories. Their tactics are underhanded and sneaky – often undetectable. And yet, they’re so definable that even a child can learn to recognize them.
Does this feel familiar to you?
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Introducing QueenBeeing‘s online learning center, our very own “Universibee,” if you will. I’m so happy to see you here, and I can’t wait to help you make your life better!
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New Course at the Universibee!
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“A narcissist is similar to a hoarder in that they collect people not things. They view people as objects, meant to be used, they serve as either a supply, potential supply, or they have no purpose. ” ~Donna Hines
Have you ever heard of a narcissistic harem? Or maybe you’re even a part of one, knowingly or otherwise?
What is a Narcissistic Harem?
So, the term “narcissistic harem” actually means a group or “collection” of friends/admirers (AKA sources of narcissistic supply) that a narcissist gathers up to keep him topped up on his daily supply of love and admiration.
Does a narcissistic harem always involve sex with every member?
No, not at all – in fact, one of your narcissist’s biggest cheerleaders might be his own mother. It can also involve people of the same sex in some situations, even if the narcissist isn’t gay.
Put more simply, a narcissistic harem is a group of people who are happy to stroke the ego of the narcissist as needed.
Do the “members” of this harem always know about each other?
In some cases, yes – it’s a matter of who the narcissist considers part of his “inner circle,” such as friends, family members and coworkers.
But these days, it can also involve a number of “virtual” friends in the form of an online harem – and those can sometimes be the most dangerous, because they are the most underhanded and easy to hide – plus, it’s much easier to manipulate a person’s perception if they’re only seeing your world through your eyes – and a smart narc will sniff this out quickly.
The Narcissistic Harem Hierarchy
Of course, every harem has a certain order, and the narcissist’s harem is no different. Here are the kinds of roles you’ll usually find in a narcissistic harem.
The Leader of the Pack
You guessed it – this is the narcissist. He’s the organizer, the judge, the jury – all of the big bossy parts – those are him. He focuses on gathering up plenty of attention and on reminding everyone how difficult his life is, and how much he needs them to “not hurt him like all the others,” among other manipulative topics.
Among the members are such roles as:
This special member of the harem has an important role. She’s there to not only “get” the narcissist in her own clutches, but also to cause drama for the rest of the members. She lives on a pedestal built by the narcissist and they often claim they “just haven’t met the right person yet.” The narc considers this person a challenge because she, like he, is unlikely to commit, so she seems hard to get.
In the case of the narcissistic harem, the flying monkeys often mean well, but they end up evangelizing the narc’s message without even realizing it. Flying monkeys are often just other causalities of the narc’s manipulation tactics, but they’re always falling for it.
The Old Standby
This can be an ex or a person who is just generally “there” for the narcissist when he needs attention. Generally ends up causing drama, especially when the Tool finds out about her. (Narcissists have a way of “recycling” their relationships, after all.)
Depending on the narc, there’s almost always a partner – a “main” person in the harem. While the partner isn’t always a legal spouse or even the one who gets the most attention in the narcissist’s harem, she’s the one they’re all hiding the secrets from – and maybe the worst role you can be stuck with.