Economic abuse | QueenBeeing Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Support

#IfMyWoundsWereVisible: Why You Should Care

If you’ve ever experienced narcissistic abuse, you know it’s very real and common in not only romantic relationships but also toxic family relationships, friendships, and even work relationships.

And whether you’re a mental health professional or someone suffering from narcissistic abuse in a toxic relationship, World Narcissistic Abuse Awareness Day can become a catalyst to help you identify and address your underlying issues.

What is World Narcissistic Abuse Awareness Day?

World Narcissistic Abuse Awareness Day (WNAAD) is June 1st. Established in 2016, WNAAD is a growing global movement dedicated to raising the profile of narcissistic abuse, providing public pathology education and resources for survivors, and effecting policy change. WNAAD is an international event that is recognized worldwide.

What is narcissistic abuse?

Narcissistic abuse is a form of psychological and emotional abuse that pervasively destroys its victims from the inside out.

Using gaslighting and other manipulative tactics, narcissistic people use this form of abuse to control their victims.

Most narcissists are always seeking control, which they use on you to keep a constant source of narcissistic supply, on hand.

Unfortunately, it also leads to the mental and emotional destruction of another human being.

It’s so prevalent that many people who suffer from narcissistic abuse aren’t even aware that what they are experiencing is a legitimate form of abuse.

When they become aware they are being abused, many survivors have difficulty even describing it because it’s so hard to recognize.

Sadly, the impact of it often lingers long after the relationship has ended, and many survivors find themselves dealing with C-PTSD symptoms.

Think you might be experiencing narcissistic abuse? Take our quick narcissistic abuse self-assessment and find out.

Who established World Narcissistic Abuse Day and why?

Bree Bonchay, a psychotherapist with nearly two decades of experience helping patients recover from trauma and abuse, founded World Narcissistic Abuse Awareness Day.

Bonchay is also a survivor, so when she realized that very few people knew about narcissistic abuse, she felt moved to take action to raise awareness.

Her book, “I Am Free,” is a groundbreaking compilation that uses real-life stories to illustrate how survivors can escape unhealthy relationship dynamics.Meet Bree Bonchay, the founder, and discover why this day matters.

Talking World Narcissistic Abuse Awareness Day with Founder Bree Bonchay

Video: What is Narcissistic Abuse? Why Should You Care? With #WNAAD Founder Bree Bonchay

Why is World Narcissistic Awareness Day so important?

“Narcissistic abuse is such an under-recognized public health issue because describing what you can’t see or prove presents a huge challenge, and narcissists can easily present themselves as loving guardians and partners,” Bonchay said in a press release, noting that this is why she had chosen to use the hashtag #IfMyWoundsWereVisible.

“That’s more people than are affected by depression,” she said. “Yet there is a lack of public education and awareness campaigns about it.”

I would add that it’s highly likely that a significant percentage of people who are narcissistic abuse victims and survivors are also likely experiencing depression, which could make these statistics even more shocking.

Think about how profound this is: If this were any other physical or mental health issue, it could qualify as a pandemic — underscoring the need for greater awareness.

“It’s important we raise awareness about narcissistic abuse not only to protect the individual victim but because ultimately it impacts us all,” she said. And this, my friends, is one of the many reasons we are here at QueenBeeing, doing what we do to serve our fellow survivors.

What does the #IfMyWoundsWereVisible hashtag mean?

“We came up with the hashtag, #IfMyWoundsWereVisible, because, unlike physical abuse where a single strike or blow, narcissistic abue often leaves marks or bruises and qualifies an act of domestic violence, narcissistic abuse is invisible,” Bonchay said. “Narcissistic abuse is the sum of many unseen injuries.

Takeaway

World Narcissistic Abuse Awareness Day is an occasion to remember that abuse has no boundaries and that everyone should be informed about narcissism, narcissistic personality disorder (NPD), and narcissistic abuse recovery.

Start Getting Help with Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Today

Online help is readily available for survivors of narcissistic abuse. Here are some options to begin healing from narcissistic abuse right away.
Sign up for our free email newsletter service that includes a free guided recovery experience via your inbox.
Start your narcissistic abuse recovery here with our free support system and program.
Join one of our free online narcissistic abuse recovery support groups!
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Get our narcissistic abuse recovery app!
Get private, one-on-one narcissistic abuse recovery coaching or counseling.
Get a therapist who will work with you online. Check out our guide to finding a therapist or psychologist who understands narcissism and narcissistic abuse.

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Related Resources for Narcissistic Abuse Recovery

It’s LAUNCH Day! Come Check Out Our New SPANily Home

by Angela Atkinson

YOU are invited to join us at this event! Come participate in our all-day event on Tuesday, May 15, 2018 from 10 a.m. CST to 7 p.m. CST.

About our SPANily Home

Check out the Spanily Home Now!

How the SPANily Home is Different

Give me the tour!

SPECIAL Offer – Buy This Course & Get a Free 12-month Membership (Psst: the couse actually costs LESS than the membership for the year!)

Check out the course!

Why did we create this program?

SPANily members have asked for a private coaching & connection forum that would be away from Facebook. And, if you ask me? With good reason.

Their concerns:

Their abusers had access to their accounts or could see their activity
Their families and friends were asking questions about their groups
They didn’t want to share anything on Facebook
They had left Facebook to hide from their abusers

Plus, as many people noted, they sometimes felt triggered by those who were in different levels of recovery.

For example, one survivor who was still in the discovery phase (she had just recognized the abuse) was upset by another survivor who was in the evolution phase because it made her feel hopeless about her own situation.

And several survivors who were early in the overcoming phase or early in their efforts to go and stay no contact found themselves triggered by people who were still in the relationships and still posting about what they were going through with their abusers.

That caused people to ask for a way to only see the posts that were relevant to certain stages of recovery.

Facebook didn’t give us a simple way to do that, so when we found a way to both create recovery level groups AND a way to make a completely private and secure home for the SPANily, we jumped at it!

Since this setup isn’t free, we are asking the SPANily to help us out with a very small investment of just $3.99 a month. This covers both the cost of the platform as well as our coaches to support you and staff to help keep everything in order.

Still, a lot of SPANily members said they didn’t want to pay for something they couldn’t try out – and I totally get that! So, I talked it over with my team, and we decided to give you a free one-week membership trial so you can get a feel for the platform and how it works.

If you decide that you don’t want to continue, you can just let us know and you won’t be charged. Sound good?

Go ahead and try it out! Visit MySPANily.com to see what we’re doing over there. Can’t wait to hear what you think! See you at the SPANily home!

Narcissists Control You With Money: Financial Abuse in Toxic Relationships

by Angela Atkinson

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Narcissists Control You With Money: Financial Abuse in Toxic Relationships

In this video, I’m sharing the truth about narcissists and how they try to control you with money.

Are you being financially abused?

Financial Abuse is a common tactic used by a narcissist in which they use money to control and or manipulate you. This can be done by restricting you from accessing family money or by forcing you to provide all of the money and may involve blatant lying about, theft of, and/or hiding of family money, among other forms of manipulation and control. Toxic narcissists are known to use financial abuse to maintain dominance over their victims. Could you be affected by financial abuse? Take this self-assessment and find out right now.

Has your partner ever refused to give you the money you need to buy necessities such as food or clothing? Yes, often. On rare occasion, but it wasn't their fault. We just couldn't afford it. Never. Only when they wanted or needed something more than we needed to buy food or clothing in the moment.

Do you and your partner both have jobs? I'm the only one who works, but my partner takes care of the house and family. I'm the only one who works and my partner just spends my money. We both work, and we both decide how we spend our money. One or both of us works, and my partner decides how we spend our money. One or both of us works, and I am the only one who decides how we spend our money. One or both of us works, and we can't pay our bills because my partner spends too much. One or both of us works, and we are still broke. We just don't make enough to survive.

Does your partner ever buy expensive things for themselves while requiring you to get the cheapest or even used items for yourself? That's the story of my life. Nope. We have plenty of money or we are equally spoiled. Never. My needs are just as important as theirs. Sometimes, but not always. It depends on the situation. Yes, but I prefer to get used or cheap things for myself anyway. I think.

Does your partner require you to account for every penny you spend? Always. Never! We both account for every penny we spend because we both agree it's important. No, but I make THEM account for every penny because I need to know where we are financially.

What would or did your partner say if you wanted to go back to school so you could get a better job? They would or did say yes and they would or did pay for my educational upgrade. They would or did say yes, but they later backed out when I told them it was time to pay tuition. They would or did laugh in my face and tell me I was not smart enough or did not deserve it, or some version of that. We can't or could not afford it, so it is not or was not an option.

Who makes the big decision about money in your relationship? I do. My partner does. We both do together, and we both have equal input. We both do together, supposedly. But really, it's whatever my partner decides. We don't have any money so...

Has your partner ever made a big purchase such as a home or a car without consulting you? Yes. More than once. Yes, only once. And never again. Heck no! They know better. I'm not sure, but it's highly likely.

Does your partner limit your access to your family's money? Yes, always. No, never. Yes, but only when we are financially struggling.

Does your partner spend money only on things they want, but never on things you want? All the time. Sometimes, but not all the time. Nope. We both get what we want. Nope, neither of us gets what we want.

Have you ever had to go to a food pantry or ask family members/friends to help buy groceries when your partner was still able to purchase luxuries or non-essential items? Yes. No. Once or twice, but it was a rare and specific situation that made sense to me at the time.

Are you only staying with your partner because you worry you can't make it on your own financially and you know they won't help you? Yes, as much as I hate to admit it. Yes, but I'm working on a way out. No. I have other reasons or I'm not planning to leave. No, I would never stay with someone over money, or I have my own money.

Who handles your family finances? My partner does everything without any input from me. I handle the finances, but my partner micromanages me. I handle the finances, but my partner requires that I give them as much money as they want, even if it means I can't pay the bills or buy groceries. I often end up "pulling money out of the air" to figure it out. Sometimes I end up with ton of overdraft fees or credit card fees as a result. We both handle the finances with equal input. We are so broke that there are no finances to handle.