Start Today, Not Tomorrow! The Empath’s Guide to Overcoming Ego & Fear and Changing Your Life Start TODAY toward Changing Your Life and Letting Go of Fear! This is a new motivational video from Angie Atkinson, who implores you in this motivational speech to stop wasting time and start today not tomorrow!!
Are you comfortable with only making $50k or being 20 lbs. overweight? If you don’t raise your standards, you’re stuck. Are you okay with marrying someone that hits you a few times a year and verbally abuses you the rest of the time? What is the outcome of that standard?
You’re likely to end up with whatever is acceptable to you and little more.
Raise your standards and enrich your life:
1. Your standards determine the lower level of what’s acceptable to you. What’s the least you’re willing to accept in your life? What do you really want? You won’t sink below your standards, but you won’t rise too far above them either. When your standards have been violated, you’ll get busy in a hurry to change your situation.
2. You can raise your standards at any time. Your standards are entirely up to you. You have the right to thrive. You weren’t put on the planet to just exist and scrape by. Determine your own destiny.
3. Your most important standards deal with your own conduct. Are you willing to tolerate being late again? Procrastination? Letting your family down? Not speaking up for yourself? Making changes in this area will have the greatest impact because all aspects of your life are influenced. Become a more effective person by raising your expectations of your behavior.
4. Determine a standard you’re committed to raising. Perhaps you’d like to make more money or take more calculated risks in life. What would impact your life the most? How would your behavior change if you adopted that new standard?
5. Visualize success in that area. Imagine yourself in that high-paying job or enjoying time with better friends. Focus on the feeling it generates. That feeling will draw you to your new standards like a magnet.
6. Take aggressive action. You’ll know when your new standards have taken hold because your behavior will change. If you’re still stuck, your standards haven’t changed enough.
7. See your new standard as a fundamental shift, rather than as a goal. See yourself as the person that makes health a priority. This is much more powerful than having a goal of losing 25 lbs. When you change who you are, many of your results will change, too.
8. Recognize when you’re living up to your new standards. If you’re trying to save more money, make note of all the times you’re behaving congruently. You might buy less expensive food at the store, skip your morning latte, or carpool to work. Point out your progress to yourself and feel excited.
9. Consider what could happen if you fail to live up to your new standards. Keeping with the money-saving example, you might not be able to pay your bills on time or you might have to work at 65 instead of retiring. Make a list and understand the pain you face if you don’t stay on track.
Tony Robbins has said that raising his standards was the most important factor in turning his life around. It’s important to set a baseline for what you’re willing to accept in life. You don’t get what you want in life, you get what you’re willing to tolerate. Have high standards and your life will rise to meet them.
The stomach is one of the hardest parts to flatten in the body. Everyone wants perfect abs, but it takes works and commitment to get them. You can spend hours at the gym fighting for flatter abs, but if your diet isn’t focused, then you’ll struggle to achieve the results you desire.
Luckily, there are foods you can eat – and some to avoid – that can help you in your endeavor for flat abs.
Let’s look at some general guidelines for healthy meals that will help tone your body and stomach area, along with those foods you’ll want to add more of.
General Food Guidelines
Some foods to avoid for flatter abs:
- Avoid sugar and junk food, such as salty chips and pretzels, as much as possible.
- Alcohol is also high in both calories and sugar, so that’s one to avoid as well.
- It’s also important to shun trans fats and other fats that aren’t healthy. When looking at your food labels, if you see “hydrogenated” fats or oils, put it back. Many labels will say something like “No Trans Fats” right on the front to help you find the products without them.
Food groups to include in your diet for flatter abs:
Focus on fiber. Eating plenty of fruits and vegetables, especially in raw form, will give you the fiber you need to support your goal.
- Stick to natural foods, rather than processed items. Most grocery stores keep the natural foods, such as fruits, veggies, eggs, meat, and dairy, along the edges of the store. You might want to venture into the middle for some minimally processed items, like rice, beans, healthy oils, and spices.
Foods to Add to Your Grocery List
Make these foods a standing order for every week:
- Chili peppers. Chili peppers should be at the top of your grocery list. They’re spicy, can kick up any recipe, and can boost metabolism. The capsaicin in chili peppers may also help you burn fat as you reach for flatter abs.
- The protein in yogurt can keep you full for long periods, so you’re not tempted to eat junk food. Yogurt also has other nutrients that can help you get a flatter stomach: Yogurt contains probiotics that may help your digestive system and reduce belly fat. The calcium in yogurt is also important because it has been linked to flatter abs.
- This white vegetable has sulforaphane, a nutrient that has been linked to lower belly fat because it can reduce fat cells. Cauliflower also has high fiber, so you’ll feel full and have a stronger digestive system.
- Green tea. Green tea is mostly known for its powerful antioxidants, but it also has fat fighting power. Green tea has been shown in studies to promote a higher metabolism. It can also give you more energy, so you can finish your workouts to get flatter abs.
Consider Your Entire Diet
Although adding these specific foods will help you get a flatter stomach, it’s important to look at your overall diet for best results.
Simply adding more yogurt or green tea isn’t enough if your meal plans aren’t healthy. Your body needs nutritional support to fight fat. Include protein, carbs, and healthy fats at each meal. Ensure you’re getting enough vitamins and minerals from your food and drinks.
For best results, plan your meals ahead of time. This will help you avoid grabbing items from vending machines or fast food that doesn’t support your goal.
Give yourself a fighting chance! Follow these tips for getting flatter abs and making your workouts more meaningful.
Narcissists have a way of really reeling in their victims, and it usually begins the moment you meet them. They’ll work hard to create an intoxicating bubble around you, presenting only false selves. They will do whatever it takes to win you over – and you’ll fall for it, hook, line, and sinker – even and sometimes especially when you technically should “know better.”
But once you’ve committed to this person, it’s usually too late. You’re already found yourself caught in their web of lies that nearly eliminates any chance of you leaving them. Worse, the lies they tell during the “honeymoon” phase can be very strategic – or the narcissist could just be infatuated with you. Either way, they appear as if they care deeply about your welfare. In reality, this is what love bombing is all about.
What is love bombing?
Love bombing is an intense, overwhelming whirlwind experience of being romantically pursued by another that includes overtures of grandiose, idealized love and devotion. These displays may consist of poetry, flowers, cards, and gifts—even marriage proposals or fraudulent offers of “forever” love. Love bombing is also called idealization. It usually happens during the initial stages of a relationship with a narcissist, when they attribute exaggeratedly positive qualities to the self or others. It’s the first part of a larger cycle of abuse.
What is the cycle of narcissistic abuse?
The cycle of narcissistic abuse is a pattern used by a narcissistic personality disorder, psychopathic, or sociopathic person to entrap their victims into giving them narcissistic supply. Unfortunately, the more they are given, the more narcissistic supply they feel they need. And the more intensely they are loved (or hate), the more shame is exposed, triggering greater and greater fears of destruction that ultimately result in narcissistic rage. For the most part, victims will experience four main phases, including the idealization phase, also known as love bombing, followed by the devaluation and discard phases. Thus, this cycle of abuse is a pervasive pattern of alternating idealization and devaluation.
How can I tell if I’m being love-bombed?
Why is it so hard to tell the difference between a love bomber and someone interested in you on a healthy level? The fact is that on the outside, a love bomber and a healthy person who has fallen in love might appear to be pretty similar. But some subtle differences are often overlooked when we are under the spell of new love.
What kinds of things do narcissists say during love bombing?
I asked my SPAN online support group this question: What are some things your narcissist said to you during the “love bombing” phase of your relationship? As we discussed the topic, several group members felt shocked about the similarities between their stories. It was in black and white: the plain pattern that seems to flow throughout nearly every toxic relationship with a narcissist – at least in some iteration.
Below are their answers – as you look through this list, I want you to think back to the beginning of your relationship – do you see a pattern, too?.
53 Lies Narcissists Tell When Love Bombing
Narcissists in love-bombing mode seem to tell some pretty common lies meant to throw us off the scent of what’s happening in the relationship. By learning to spot these red flags, you can better protect yourself from falling victim to their manipulations and behaviors. **Trigger warning: These are actual statements from toxic narcissists shared with me by real survivors of narcissistic abuse.**
- “You seem like the type of person I would want to marry someday.”
- I never wanted children until I met you.
- I’m divorced.
- It’s all you – all the time. (Because I have no friends.)
- My exes are all crazy bitches. (The same narc asked at the end of the relationship: “Is it okay to still visit for sex after our divorce?”)
- Your mother/sister/father/brother is messed up! I hid out in the other room while they were here because they gave me a bad vibe.
- How dare you put your kids before me?
- You don’t love me! Only your children.
- The day after, he had been drunk the night before. There was never an apology for his bad behavior, but he would always ask, “do you still love me?” And, of course, I would shower him with the reassurance of how much I loved him.
- “I just want to be with someone who wants to be with me for the same reasons I want to be with them.”
- You’ve never met anyone like me.
- “I love you” (a few days to a few months).
- “I will die without you.”
- “I will do anything to get you back. Please tell me you love me.”
- “Can I take the condom off? You know I will take care of you.” (3 days before, he discarded me for his new victim. Probably because I said no and wasn’t going to take him back without him becoming a decent human being.)
- “You remind me of my mother.”
- “The only way I’ll ever leave you is in a pine box.” (And left three days later, for a month, before coming back.)
- You’re all mine now, and I’m not letting you get away!
- “God sent you to me.” (a couple of days in)
- Oh, I never used to yell this much before my ex-wife… (and other irrational or jealous statements/accusations)
- I’ve never loved anyone as much as you before. I couldn’t live without you now.
- How much do you love me? (I was asked this almost daily ).
- Will, you always love me (again almost daily when he wasn’t giving silent treatment ).
- Why do you love me?
- You love me more than I do you!
- I think you’re a good investment!
- I wish I met you 30 years ago. We’d have been so successful.
- So, when’s the wedding? (2 weeks in)
- I just suddenly fell in love with you (the day after seeing my new house ).
- You’re perfect for me.
- No one will ever love you as much as me.
- I don’t need anyone but you.
- You’ve made me happy.
- My wife was cold and hated sex.
- My wife didn’t talk to me.
- My wife has issues.
- “I did everything to save my marriage” (I didn’t know about his 2-year affair, which he was still in when he forced himself into my home, saying he’d left his wife for me, and I couldn’t refuse him and make him homeless. So we weren’t even going out together. He was just a friend through work!)
- “I know how wonderful it can be when two people truly love each other share the same goals.”
- The narcissist made various graphic statements regarding my anatomy.
- It could have been anyone, but no, it was me and no one else who was the perfect one for him.
- He knew I was his soulmate.
- He knew from the first time he saw me that I was the one for him.
- He never had as intimate a relationship with anyone before me.
- Sex has never been this good with others
- “I’ve never been love like this”
- “You’re my dream girl!”
- “I don’t know what hit me.”
- That was the first time I called a woman on my phone. It has been so long.” (7 months to be exact, but with hookers in between that and meeting me.)
- “When I went out with my friends, I would not talk to any other women… Until I met you. You’re amazing.”
- “I don’t do violence.”
- “We are like soul mates, aren’t we “
- “Where would I be without you?”
- “I’ve never been with a girl as pretty as you.”
Okay, now it’s your turn. How many of these phrases sound familiar to you? What would you add to our list?
Need more help? You might like to read Your Love is My Drug: How to Shut Down a Narcissist, Detoxify Your Relationships & Live the Awesome Life You Really Deserve, Starting Right Now.
Start Getting Help with Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Today
Online help is readily available for survivors of narcissistic abuse. Here are some options to begin healing from narcissistic abuse right away.
- Sign up for our free email newsletter service that includes a free guided recovery experience via your inbox.
- Start your narcissistic abuse recovery here with our free narcissistic abuse recovery support system and program.
- Join one of our free online narcissistic abuse recovery support groups!
- Join one of our private small coaching groups!
- Get private, one-on-one narcissistic abuse recovery coaching or counseling.
- Get a therapist who will work with you online. Check out our guide to finding a therapist or psychologist who understands narcissism and narcissistic abuse.
Additional Resources for Survivors of Narcissistic Abuse
- Take the Test: Are you involved with a toxic narcissist?
- How to Use NLP and EFT for Narcissistic Abuse Recovery
- Narcissistic Abuse Recovery: Should you warn the new ‘supply’ about the narcissist?
- Narcissistic Abuse Recovery: 9 Ways to Stop a Panic Attack
- Toxic Relationship Recovery: Deciding Who You Want to Be After Narcissistic Abuse
- Narcissistic Abuse Recovery: 9 Ways to Get Over the Fear of Rejection
Juicing – Day 1
Weight – 189 lbs
Feeling – Full of energy – HUNGRY (not starving but very hungry)
Workout #1: Pure Cardio – Insanity
This morning I was joined by my 17 year old daughter, Logen, in what was to become our first juicing experience. I was quite impressed with how easy it was to juice and how tasty our drink was. What shocked me was the amount of food that went into the juicer and not a lot of juice came out. Took us 6 medium oranges and 1/2 a mango to create 2 coffee cups of juice about 3/4 the way full. However, what we drank was delicious! Frothy on top but I did not mind. It was yummy and delicious and I felt great all morning. Got my workout in and didn’t feel overly exhausted afterwards. However, this is only day one. I just hope my energy level stays up.
Orange – Mango
6 Oranges – Peeled
1/2 Mango – Peeled and Sliced
(This produced 15 oz of juice)
Went shopping today for more apples from my favorite grocery store. Decided to make this my solid meal for the day and consumed the entire apple while driving home. Can we say HUNGRY? Maybe it is my brain telling me I’m hungry even if I’m not. I was thinking that other times I can go all day without thinking of food. Now that I have decided to start juicing my head is like EAT! However, I am stronger than this and all I ate was an apple because juicing is good for my body and I will succeed! Now I just need to make it to dinner.
Workout #2: In The Pocket: Cize
Youngest wanted to try juicing so of course I let her make my next drink. Yummy! I actually was not very hungry by this point in my day. I am a late night eater so I’m sure that tonight will be BRUTAL. I took a few sips and then kept it in the fridge until later when I was ready to drink it. So far so good with the juicing. I am grumpy. I have to admit that day 1 wasn’t a complete disaster. Again this juice I made with split in half and shared with my daughter. I did not drink the entire 20 oz. I could not have drank all of that anyway. Excited for tomorrow!!
Pineapple – Apple – Cucumber
2 Cups Pineapple – Not the core
2 Medium Cucumbers – Peeled
(This produced 20 oz of juice)
Who am I? Just a regular person like you who wants to better herself and her life. Check me out here if you want to connect or know more. 🙂