Lise Colucci is an intuitive healer and certified life coach, as well as a certified narcissistic abuse recovery coach. She is a long-time admin and mentor for the SPAN Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Group, actively helping survivors of narcissistic abuse in the broad community to learn and heal. A big believer in the strength of survivors as well as the power they hold to transform their lives for the better after abuse, Lise is continually learning new ways to help others. She sees the big picture and helps clients to dissect the overwhelming issue of narcissistic abuse into manageable parts. Lise is very knowledgeable in both understanding narcissism as well as the effects of toxic relationships on survivors. Making her even more effective in her work, she also understands how it feels firsthand – she is a survivor herself. Lise is passionate about providing coaching services that help her clients feel heard and validated as she guides them along their healing journey. Lise has certifications in life coaching from Universal Coach Institute as well as a Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Coach certification from Life Makeover Academy. At home, Lise is the mother of four amazing humans. She loves spending time with her kids and dogs.
Narcissists are well-known for their gaslighting, manipulation and drama – and often, their efforts to make you jealous. But did you know they also get insanely jealous at times? And do you know why that happens? In this video, I’ll fill you in on why a narcissist gets jealous and what exactly triggers that – plus, how a narcissist’s jealousy affects YOU.
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Narcissists need you to feel dependent and crazy – like you’re not capable of making even the simplest decisions. In this video, I’ll explain 7 specific, under-handed gaslighting techniques that narcissists use to control and manipulate you – whether it’s at work, at home or in other social situations.
What is Gaslighting?
Gaslighting is a pervasive and highly effective tactic that narcissists use to manipulate you into questioning their own sanity. There are many different forms of gaslighting.
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Beating overwhelm is a necessary part of getting things done. While overwhelm can have a variety of causes, for narcissistic abuse survivors, it can feel like you’re absolutely paralyzed. In most cases, the task that needs to be completed isn’t enjoyable. Or you lack inspiration. Mowing the grass when it’s 90 degrees outside is a good example of both.
Dealing with laziness is an important self-management skill. Getting things done when you don’t feel like doing them is practically a superpower. You’re unstoppable.
Beat laziness and accomplish more each day with the 15 tips I’m sharing in today’s video.
Take frequent, short breaks. Tell yourself that you’ll work for 25 minutes and then take a quick break. Focus with all your might for those 25 minutes, and then relax for five.
Be tough with yourself. Getting started requires the most willpower. Once you’ve gotten started, it’s easy to keep going. Grind your way through the first few minutes and then use the momentum to your advantage.
Stand up straight. Slouching and laziness go together. Stand up tall and straight. You’ll feel better and more motivated.
Monitor your inner dialog. Say positive things about the task at hand. Negative talk will stall your progress.
Stop thinking about it. When you think about doing an undesirable task, you feel uncomfortable. That’s the reason you won’t do it. So, don’t think about it. Keep your mind on something else and get started.
Keep it short and intense. Change your physiology, and your thoughts will change, too.
Use a timer. See how long it takes you to complete the task. Make a game out of it. Another option is to set a timer for five minutes and see if you can perform the task for those five minutes without having even one negative thought. Timers are great for increasing focus.
Get rid of the distractions. Get away from the TV and lock your cell phone in your desk.
Keep your mind on a single task. Ironically, when you have a lot to do, it can be hard to do anything at all. Keep your mind on one task and forget about the rest. When this task is complete, the others will still be there.
Think about how great you’ll feel when you’re done. Thinking about how dreadful the task will be is the best way to ensure that you won’t do it anytime soon.
Be proud of getting your tasks completed. Most of us hate performing a task, and then feel neutral about getting it done. Get excited about completing these annoying tasks. Give yourself a pat on the back when they’re completed.
Start with something easy. When faced with several things you don’t want to do, start with the quickest and easiest. The sense of accomplishment will keep you going.
Make a to-do list.Cross the items off as they’re completed and enjoy the progress you’re making. There’s something satisfying about marking items off a list.
Consider the benefits of the task. Will you get to keep your job? Get a date? Have a freshly manicured lawn? Consider the benefits of the activity. Focus on these benefits and get started before your attention drifts.
Plan a reward at the end of the day. If you get everything completed, do something enjoyable. Meet a friend for dinner or rent a movie.
Laziness is a common dilemma. It occurs when the motivation to do a task is insufficient. There are several causes for this, but the cause isn’t important. Choose a few workable strategies to get you going and put them into action. You’ll be pleasantly surprised at your results.