Narcissism in Action: A Real-Life Example of Sneaky Gaslighting

Narcissism in Action: A Real-Life Example of Sneaky Gaslighting

Meet Tom and Ava. Tom is a raging narcissist who is married to Ava. Fortunately, Ava has figured this out and has been attempting to stop falling for the gaslighting tricks that make her feel crazy.


She’s been employing the gray rock method and he’s been really hating it. He is always trying to figure out ways to keep her feeling insecure and uncomfortable in their relationship.

 

For example, he knows it bothers her when he makes it clear he’s attracted to other women, so one night after he particularly fails to make her feel crazy all day, Tom takes his manipulation up a notch.

 

He tells a story about a hot girl he met at the gas station on his way home. He tells Ava how the girl practically got naked in front of him (all lies, of course) and goes into what he would’ve done had he been single.

 

Related Reading: Take Back Your Life: 103 Highly-Effective Strategies to Snuff Out a Narcissist’s Gaslighting and Enjoy the Happy Life You Really Deserve

Ava realizes what he’s trying to do, and she remains quiet to avoid his inevitable claims that she’s always finding something to complain about, and that she should just blindly trust that he’d never do anything to hurt her (despite the fact that he verbally abuses her daily).

 

This is where it gets scary.

 Warning SIgns You Are Dating a Narcissist

When Tom notices that Ava isn’t giving him the narcissistic supply that he seeks, he takes it up a notch, claiming that he can sense that Ava is upset, even though she showed no signs of it.

 

Eventually, he manages to draw her into the argument and she is left reeling. She can’t believe that he’s done it again.

 

But this is how a narcissist works. He consistently and systematically tears down his victims, forcing them into these predefined roles  (he defines them, of course) that place him in a position of power while she struggles to prove herself to him in some way.

 
Does this situation sound familiar to you? If so, you are being gaslighted and you might just be involved with a narcissist. Don’t feel bad – even very intelligent people can fall victim to the manipulation of a narcissist. 
 
Share your thoughts and experiences in the comments. Let’s discuss. 
Are Harley Quinn and the Joker Both Narcissists?

Are Harley Quinn and the Joker Both Narcissists?

Harley Quinn & the Joker: Two Narcs in a Relationship?

Several viewers have asked me what would happen if two narcissists would get into a relationship together.

Would it be toxic? Could it work?

So I was discussing this with my friend last night and he suggested that Harley Quinn and the Joker were a perfect example of what happens when two narcissists get together.

I’m sharing his opinion and my thoughts on the subject in today’s vlog. What do you think? Is he right? Tell me in the comments and let’s discuss!

To join SPAN, my free and confidential online support group, visit https://queenbeeing.com/span

Get personal coaching with me at http://narcissisticabuserecovery.online or pick up my free 5-day email course designed for Narcissistic Abuse Survivors at http://narcissismsupportcoach.com.

Visit http://booksangiewrote.com to get my books.

Vlog Coaching: It’s YOUR LIFE! Define it.

Vlog Coaching: It’s YOUR LIFE! Define it.

Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Coaching Vlog: This is Your Life! Let go of the voice in your head that tells you that there’s something wrong with you!

It’s Talk2Me Tuesday, and I’m asking you to share a little of yourself with me – so I’ll ask you a question to help jumpstart your next phase of healing.

Plus, I’ll share a quick motivational exercise and an impromptu self-healing session.

 

Toxic Narcissist in Your Life? 35+ Tools and Resources That Can Help

Toxic Narcissist in Your Life? 35+ Tools and Resources That Can Help

Update: Click here to visit our new resources center. 

Looking for tools, tips, resources and help with a narcissist in your life? Then you’ve come to the right place. I’ve collected more than 35 of them for you, right here.

I have written several books on narcissism, but I know that not everyone can have books delivered and/or doesn’t have the cash for the Kindle editions. Or maybe they’re afraid of being found out by their very controlling narc.

Listen, I’m not here to judge. I feel you. TRUST ME.

At any rate, that’s why I’ve put together a few links for you here. If you bookmark this post and/or this site, you can refer back to it as needed to get the virtual support and/ir validation that you need.

Consider this site your very own sort of “online ebook” of sorts – no charge, no strings attached. Just because I know how important it is to know that you’re not crazy when you’re in the thick of a relationship with a narcissist.

Is there a narcissist in your life?

Your narcissist could be anyone – your spouse, your child, your mother, your father, your boss – even your best friend or your neighbor. Here are some tips for identifying the one(s) in your life.

What is the definition of a toxic narcissist?

It’s confusing for a lot of people because people think being narcissistic means you take a bunch of selfies and care about how you look. But that’s not necessarily a toxic narcissist – the fact is that every human alive has a certain amount of narcissism in their makeup – it’s self-interest. It’s what makes us get up and get ourselves dressed, feed ourselves, get jobs, get married, have kids – it’s the part of us that prevents us from just giving up entirely.

But a toxic narcissist (or a person with NPD), is someone who has no ability to empathize with other people and who treats the people closest to them accordingly. The toxic narcissist is also referred to as a malignant narcissist.

What’s the difference between narcissism or narcissistic personality disorder and high self-esteem?

 

Are you being manipulated by the narcissist?

We all know that narcissists are master devastating emotional scars narcissism quotemanipulators.

Here are some posts to help you identify and recognize the manipulation.

Can you take control of the situation and/or overpower the narcissist?

beat a narcissist at his own gameIndeed you can, my friend, if you’re willing to stand up for yourself – at least temporarily. Once you’ve recognized the situation, you’re already one step closer. Now you need to know how to get through it. Try these posts for help and ideas.

Can you make the narcissist be nice to you WITHOUT acting like a narcissist yourself?

Yes, absolutely – and it can be done in two ethical, repeatable steps – check it out right here.

Can a narcissist ever really love?

I think we both know the answer to that question, but just in case:

What are some other ways a narcissist will manipulate me?

You might already know all about gaslighting, but that’s just one way that narcissists manipulate people. Here are a few others.

Can you show me an example of real-life gaslighting?

I don’t usually share many personal stories about the gaslighting I have experienced in my life but recently, a well-known narcissist actually gave me a little bit of an unrealized opportunity by actually gaslighting me online.

Oh yea. Online.

What if leaving my narcissist isn’t an option?

It’s not always, and you and I both know this. Unless you’re being physically abused, sometimes it feels like the wolf you know is better than the one that you don’t. But here are some posts to help you get your head in the right place and tools to help you be happier.

Is there a course or class I can take to help me recover from narcissistic abuse?

Absolutely! On this page, you’ll find all kinds of freebies, some of which include online courses. You can also visit Life Makeover Academy, NarcissismSupportCoach.com, or take my Udemy course that helps you to take back your life after narcissistic abuse, right here.

See My Books About Narcissism 

See all of my books, including those on topics such as weight loss and how to be a hot wife at BooksAngieWrote.com.

See the most recent posts about narcissism, gaslighting, and toxic relationships right here. If you have any resources for victims of narcissism in relationships, please share them in the comments section, below. 

Toxic LGBT Relationships: How Lesbian Narcissistic Abusers Are Different

Toxic LGBT Relationships: How Lesbian Narcissistic Abusers Are Different

Toxic relationships know no boundaries – and narcissistic abusers come in every color, shape and size – not to mention every race, culture, creed, religion, weight, sexual orientation and zip code.

But one population is being nearly ignored by so many in society that it’s shocking – and I’m talking about gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender people who are in toxic relationships with abusive narcissists – and apparently, this happens more often than we know.

I’ve learned a lot so far, and I’m planning to learn more – so today, I’m announcing a new campaign for QueenBeeing.com – an LGBT Outreach and Awareness program.

Where this started, who I’m working with and how it all came to be:

A member of SPAN, Sue B., reached out to me and asked if I’d be interested in covering toxic narcissistic abuse in gay and lesbian relationships – and when she offered to help, I jumped at the opportunity to work with her on this.

So many people aren’t even aware that domestic violence and toxic abuse – both physical and emotional/mental – exist in the LGBT community. Sue even told me that lesbian women are turned away from domestic violence shelters because, and I quote, “Women never hurt women.”

It’s time to tear the masks off our eyes, people. It is absolutely unacceptable that so many people in the LGBT community are being ignored and under-served when they are in narcissistic abuse situations and toxic relationships that are destroying them, bit by bit.

Every human on the planet, regardless of race, culture, creed, sex, income, weight or zip code deserves to come home to a place where they are treated with respect – and where they’re not subjected to constant mental and emotional torture.

In this video, I’ll share Sue’s thoughts with you on how being in a lesbian relationship is different than a straight relationship and what that looks like. Plus , I’ll share her thoughts on career lesbians who “you could spot “based on their ambitions,” and lesbians like Sue, who she says, wanted kids – and due to her own narcissistic abuse survivor issues – married men. We’ll also touch on lesbians who Sue says probably never wanted kids because it was never presented as an option or it would interfere with their lesbian identity.

“I have met a lot of women who are similar who could not come out till they felt safe,” Sue says. “Being a lesbian or queer means you always have a vulnerability. And in some cases a secret because you are not the ‘norm’ but also because you never know when someone is going to misquote the Bible to you while they discriminate against you.”

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