As I have gone through the journey to create my best life, there were a few bumps and bruises along the way, such as the time I found out I had sleep apnea due in part to the extra weight I was carrying around at the time. The following is a post I wrote back in 2006 regarding the way I felt about myself and my life. So much has changed since then!
I am 31 years old. I have two beautiful children and a wonderful husband. We aren’t rich, but we manage to get by and even have a few luxuries.
I feel like I have “it all”, so to speak. I can’t really complain too much. Of course, there are things that I want, but most of those, I could give to myself if I just got off my ass (literally and figuratively) and worked hard.
I want to be a successful writer. I could be, if I worked hard at it.
I want to be healthy so I can live to take care of my kids. I could be, if I worked hard at it.
What else? Not much, really. I’m very satisfied with most of my life.
So what is stopping me from achieving those two not so tiny goals?
Pure laziness, pure exhaustion, plain and simple. I know what to do, and I even know how to do it—but I am constantly exhausted. I barely have the energy to do what I have to in order to take care of my family.
So, Wednesday, I had a minor procedure to remove an errant IUD. That might help a little. Then, yesterday, I went to the doctor to find out that not only do I have high blood pressure, but I also probably have sleep apnea—which could be causing my exhaustion.
Hmm, imagine. So I have to go and get a sleep study done, and will most likely be expected to sleep from now on with a machine on my face. Okay, I pretty much already knew I had sleep apnea, but had no idea it could be causing so many of my other problems.
So I am going to look at this as a good thing. Perhaps I will gain the energy I need to meet my goals, and to be a better mom and wife. To be a better me. Sounds perfect.
Well, here’s the bottom line. I am learning (the hard and painful way) that if I don’t take care of ME, I won’t be around much longer to take care of anyone else. So I am committing to that, today, right now as I’m typing this.
I will start taking care of ME. I will work to get healthy so that I can accomplish my goals and dreams. If I don’t do it, no one else will do it for me. It’s time that I take a stand for myself, and do something to improve the quality of MY life, and in so doing, the lives of my family.
Okay, I’ll get off the soapbox now.
Angela Atkinson is a certified trauma counselor and the author of more than 20 books on narcissism, narcissistic abuse recovery, and related topics. A recognized expert on narcissism and narcissistic personality disorder who has studied and written extensively on narcissistic personality disorder and narcissistic abuse in toxic relationships since 2006, she has a popular narcissistic abuse recovery YouTube channel. Atkinson was inspired to begin her work as a result of having survived toxic relationships of her own.
Atkinson offers trauma-informed narcissistic abuse recovery coaching and has certifications in trauma counseling, life coaching, level 2 therapeutic model, CBT coaching, integrative wellness coaching, and NLP. She is a certified trauma support coach and certified family trauma professional. She also has a professional PTSD counseling certification. Her mission is to help those who have experienced the emotional and mental devastation that comes with narcissistic abuse in these incredibly toxic relationships to (re)discover their true selves, stop the gaslighting and manipulation, and move forward into their genuine desires – into a life that is exactly what they choose for themselves.
Along with her solution-focused life coaching experience, Atkinson’s previous career in journalism and research helps her to offer both accurate and understandable information for survivors of abuse in a simple-to-understand way that helps to increase awareness in the narcissistic abuse recovery community. Atkinson founded QueenBeeing.com Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Support, the SPANily Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Support Groups and the Life Makeover Academy.
She offers individual and group coaching for victims and survivors of narcissistic abuse here at QueenBeeing.com and at NarcissisticAbuseRecovery.Online.