Self-Esteem Test, Plus 10 Self-Confidence Tips for Narcissistic Abuse Recovery

Self-Esteem Test, Plus 10 Self-Confidence Tips for Narcissistic Abuse Recovery

Self-Esteem Test, Plus 10 Self-Confidence Tips for Narcissistic Abuse Recovery

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One Surprising Way to Deal With Gaslighting (With Kim Saeed)

One Surprising Way to Deal With Gaslighting (With Kim Saeed)

Here is a simple and easy way to deal with gaslighting that you might not have thought of before.

Take My Journaling Course at Life Makeover Academy

One surprisingly easy way to deal with gaslighting? Start a journal. Yes! Just put pen to paper (or fingers to keyboard) and let it all out. If a problem is plaguing you, sometimes just getting it out of your head and on paper is enough to allow you to understand it and move forward. If the problem you have is with another person, you can even write that person a letter expressing yourself–even if you never mail it, the therapeutic benefits are tremendous. For me, journaling and letter writing have long been my go-to tool for getting inside my head and figuring out how to handle the world effectively. I call it free therapy.

Is Richard Grannon an Occultist? His Shocking Response

Is Richard Grannon an Occultist? His Shocking Response

As I was preparing to interview fellow YouTuber and narcissistic abuse recovery expert Richard Grannon, I asked the SPANily if they had any questions they wanted me to ask him. One in particular really stood out for me: Is he an occultist? His answer was pretty surprising. Let me explain.

There is a stigma attached to the word “occult,” but it’s not always deserved. It can refer to everything from hypnosis and ESP to astrology and Wicca. So, while many people have a negative connotation of the word, there are many disciplines which fall under it which can be useful. Some of these disciplines deal with mental aspects such as memory, imagination, and concentration and physical aspects like healing and psychic phenomenon.

And most importantly, as Grannon points out, “occult” is a word we use to describe what happens in the hidden recesses of the mind.

Who is Richard Grannon?

Richard Grannon is a popular YouTuber and narcissistic abuse recovery expert. Known to many as the “Spartan Life Coach,” Grannon has a BSc in Psychology from Aston University. Throughout his 20’s and early 30’s, he worked in the security industry and taught self-defense.
Alongside this, he was worked as a trainer in the Education sector for 5 years across the UK developing and delivering programs to students and teachers to improve their emotional intelligence, capacity to teach/learn in a way that was functional and effective for the students and various relevant psychology skills syncretically adapted from multiple modalities including CBT, mindfulness, NLP, psychoanalytic theory, positive psychology, and hypnosis.

What is an occultist?

An ‘occultist’ is defined as an individual who practices or studies occultism. Occultism, in turn, is a system of beliefs and practices related to the paranormal and supernatural. The word ‘occult’ itself means that which is hidden or concealed, hence its relation to those things which are beyond our physical perception. The term is often used synonymously with ‘black magic,’ ‘witchcraft,’ or ‘sorcery.’ Patterns are seen by occultists as inherent in nature, and they believe that by studying these patterns they can come to understand the structure of the universe. It is this understanding that allows them to influence the world around them. An occultist might, for example, try to use their knowledge of the pattern of energy flow in a city to influence the stock market.

Is Richard Grannon an occultist?

Find out his shocking answer, right here. During my interview with Richard Grannon, I asked him a strange question that came from a viewer: Is he an occultist?? And why would someone say something like that about him? In this video, you will hear exactly what Richard said in response to that question.

Start Getting Help with Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Today

Online help is readily available for survivors of narcissistic abuse. Here are some options to begin healing from narcissistic abuse right away.

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The Various Roles the Narcissist Casts You In: Narcissistic Supply

The Various Roles the Narcissist Casts You In: Narcissistic Supply

A narcissist needs attention. They need love, admiration and in general, one-way narcissistic supply. This supply often comes in the form of a narcissistic harem, AKA a circle of supply.

What is a narcissistic harem?

narcissistic harem is just a group of people who are dedicated to giving the narcissist supply. Often, they are unaware that they are part of the group. The group can include both lovers and platonic/family relationships.

Who are the members of a narcissistic harem?

If you ask me, what’s interesting is the various roles we play when we are a source of narcissistic supply. If we’re part of the narcissistic harem, the roles might include such roles as the following.

The Tool 

This special member of the harem has an important role. They are there to not only “get” the narcissist in their own clutches, but also to cause drama for the rest of the members. They live on a pedestal built by the narcissist and they often claim they “just haven’t met the right person yet.” The narcissist considers this person a challenge because they, like the narcissist, are unlikely to commit, so they seem hard to get.

Flying Monkeys 

In the case of the narcissistic harem, the flying monkeys often mean well, but they end up evangelizing the narcissist’s message, sometimes without even realizing it. Flying monkeys are often just other causalities of the narcissist’s manipulation tactics, but they’re always falling for it. If they’re not falling for it, they usually behave as a “co-abuser,” or people who are equally toxic and actively participating in the narcissist’s manipulative behavior, either happily or out of fear of the narcissist. This is where you see abuse by proxy behavior. in which the narcissist abuses you through the manipulation of another person.

The Old Standby

This can be an ex or a person who is just generally “there” for the narcissist when they need attention. It can also be a parent, sibling, or non-sexual friend. This person generally ends up causing drama, especially when the Tool finds out about them, or when they get enmeshed with one of the other members of the circle.

The Wife/GF/Husband/Spouse

Depending on the narcissist, there’s almost always a partner – a “main” person in the harem. While the partner isn’t always a legal spouse or even the one who gets the most attention in the narcissist’s harem, she’s the one they’re all hiding the secrets from – and maybe the worst role you can be stuck with.

Between the gaslighting, love bombing, and flying monkeys, you end up forgetting your own identity as you desperately try to become the version of yourself that would make the narcissist happy.

Gaslighting, love bombing, and flying monkeys

If you’ve ever wondered how a narcissist keeps you in control, wonder no more. It’s all about the narcissistic abuse cycle that seems to have been designed specifically for that purpose. And if you have ever judged yourself or anyone else for falling for this type of person, you shouldn’t. After all, malignant narcissists, whether they’re cunning and calculating or they’re just doing “what they know,” are toxic to anyone who is unfortunate enough to be close to them.

But even if you manage to completely change yourself and morph into the narcissist’s idea of the imagined perfect person, it never matters.

Painful Truth: You Will Never Be Enough for a Narcissist

Here’s a harsh reality that we all have to understand. When it comes to the narcissist and their perception of you, you can never be enough. Even if you completely focus your energy on a narcissist, he or she will always look for somewhere else, something else to increase their own “supply” of attention. No matter how amazing you are – it will never be enough for a narcissist.

It’s Not You (Really)

Don’t let yourself be confused here – it’s DEFINITELY not YOU! It’s totally the way the narcissist’s convoluted mind works, and you can’t take personal responsibility for the broken person you’re dealing with – you just have to find your way to self-confidence and peace OUTSIDE of the narcissist.

The fact is that since the narcissist is so personally “broken” on the inside, nobody on earth can ever fill the endless hole of “need” he carries around – at least not for long.

There are so many manipulation tactics that most narcissists have in common that most of their victims say reading about the abuse suffered by others can feel like reading their own stories. Their tactics are underhanded and sneaky – often undetectable. And yet, they’re so definable that even a child can learn to recognize them.

Does this feel familiar to you?

Start Getting Help with Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Today

Did you know? Online help is readily available for survivors of narcissistic abuse. Here are some options to begin healing from narcissistic abuse right away.

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7 Dirty Gaslighting Tricks Narcissists Pull to Control You

7 Dirty Gaslighting Tricks Narcissists Pull to Control You

If you’ve ever been involved with a narcissist, whether it was your husband or your mother or your co-worker, there’s one thing that they all have in common: the gaslighting attacks. Gaslighting, of course, is how toxic narcissists control and manipulate the people around them and make them do as they want and need – to behave like a good little narcissistic supply.

Narcissists need you to feel dependent and crazy – like you’re not capable of making even the simplest decisions. In this video, I’ll explain 7 specific, under-handed gaslighting techniques that narcissists use to control and manipulate you – whether it’s at work, at home or in other social situations.

What is Gaslighting?

Gaslighting is a pervasive and highly effective tactic that narcissists use to manipulate you into questioning their own sanity. There are many different forms of gaslighting.

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