Tips For Leaving An Abusive Relationship Safely

Tips For Leaving An Abusive Relationship Safely

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If you’re in a relationship with someone who is abusing you, whether this is physically, psychologically, emotionally, or otherwise, and you’re ready to consider leaving them, you may not know where to begin.

If your partner is a narcissist and has been subjecting you to narcissistic abuse, gaslighting, and other forms of manipulation, you might have spent a lot of time doubting yourself, not sure whether you’re right and they’re toxic, or whether they are right and you’re crazy. If you do still happen to be doubting yourself, you might be interested in taking one of my free narcissistic abuse recovery self-assessments, right here.

In either case, you’re here because you have finally have had enough, and you are ready to leave. If all of this sounds like you, you’re in the right place. In addition to downloading your free copy of the PLAN (Preparing to Leave A Narcissist) Toolkit, be sure to take note of the following tips.

Tips to Prepare to Leave a Toxic Relationship with a Narcissist Safely

What can you do to prepare yourself to leave a toxic and abusive relationship? It is not as easy as picking up and going. Here are some of the most important things to consider before you leave a narcissist and an abusive relationship.

Know Where You Stand Financially

Financial abuse is real when it comes to narcissists, and the last thing you want to do is leave the abusive relationship and find out the hard way you are not financially fit to leave. That is a critical step to take when you are married to an abusive person – and there are some really specific things of which to be aware. Once you know the financial facts, you can present them to the court, and you will get your fair share of the money. That means you must know what you have in the bank and all of the debt that you carry. A bonus tip is to take screenshots of the accounts, so you know what you have available before you go. This video offers additional tips on dealing with financial abuse in toxic relationships.

Grab Essential Documents

The last thing you want to do is leave essential documents behind so you will want to collect them. Make sure you have access to your personal IDs such as your driver’s license and passport, your birth certificate, as well as the ones of your children, passports, marriage license, investment numbers, car documents, and social security number. Make sure you have your bank and mortgage/lease information as well. Take pictures of them if you are afraid that the abuser will destroy them. The PLAN covers a full list of documents you’ll want to gather before you go.

Begin Saving Money And Get A Job If You Must

As much as you want to make sure that you get your fair share of the money you’re due from the marriage, you will want to make sure that you begin saving your own. If you need to get a job, even a side hustle, you should do it That will only help you feel more secure about leaving your abuser. Many abused spouses stay in toxic marriages because of finances. If you can support yourself and your kids if you have any, even if you are just getting by, that is better than staying in a toxic relationship. These days, there are plenty of work-from-home jobs you could do, even without telling the narcissist, if you play it right. Just be careful with your earnings and keep them in a separate account from the narcissist’s money. You can look into services like PayPal or online banks like Chime to create a private account without the narcissist’s knowledge, for example. Bonus tip: you might also want to consider checking your credit through a free service like Credit Sesame, which also offers you tips on how to improve your credit score. This video offers additional tips on how to leave a narcissist with no money.

Make Changes To Passwords

If you are afraid that the abuser is monitoring your social media activity and emails, then you want to change your passwords, so your abuser does not have access to any of it. Change all of your passwords, whether for social media, online banking, or any other platform. Keep the passwords in a safe list that the abuser cannot access.

Tell Your Friends And Trusted Family Members The Truth

When you are about to leave your abuser, you must tell those you trust to support you through it and even offer you a place to stay temporarily until you can get on your feet. You will also feel more secure and safe while leaving, and you will also need them to encourage you to go on with your plan for leaving as it is a daunting thing to do, but a courageous thing you can do for yourself.

Reach Out To Experts And Shelters

If you don’t know where to begin when it comes to preparing yourself to leave the abusive relationship, contact a family lawyer, a therapist, a narcissistic abuse recovery coach, or another expert who can safely advise you. Many lawyers offer initial free consultations and advise you on collecting financial data and everything you need. Also, contact shelters or a therapist can give you some leads to shelters if you are unsure where to look. Be sure to check out our domestic violence resources page as well.

Leaving an abuser is a scary thing to do, but if you utilize these tips and get the support you need, you can do it. You deserve to be safe and healthy.

QueenBeeing Resources for Narcissistic Abuse & Narcissistic Abuse Recovery

Helpful Reading for Narcissistic Abuse Recovery

 

Narcissists Isolate You

Narcissists Isolate You

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Narcissists Isolate You – From Your Friends, Your Family Members and Anyone Who is WIlling to Support You. In this video, I’ll offer a detailed explanation on why narcissists and people with NPD are so likely to isolate you from everyone you know – and how their flying monkeys play into it. Plus: self-help for dealing with isolation with narcissists in relationships.

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Maybe You’re Just Too Weak to Make a Narcissist Love You

Maybe You’re Just Too Weak to Make a Narcissist Love You

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Rant: Maybe You’re Just Too Weak to Make a Narcissist Love You – This video is in response to a viewer named Jilly who said in a recent comment that you need to be strong in order to make a narcissist love you and be happy in your relationship.

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On my YouTube channel, I offer free daily video coaching to help you discover, understand and overcome narcissistic abuse in toxic relationships! I like to call it toxic relationship rehab. If that sounds good to you, hit that subscribe button.

**LIVE EVERY MONDAY THROUGH FRIDAY! Never miss a live session! Just text “AngieLive” (no spaces) to 33222 and I’ll send you a text each time I get ready to go live!

Schedule a coaching appointment with me at http://narcissisticabuserecovery.online

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Why Therapy Might Not Always Work for Narcissistic Abuse Recovery

Why Therapy Might Not Always Work for Narcissistic Abuse Recovery

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Why therapy for narcissistic abuse isn’t effective and doesn’t always work. And why you should never go to couples therapy with a narcissist.

Therapists are often under-educated when it comes to narcissistic abuse recovery and toxic relationships with people with narcissistic personality disorder. It’s not that therapists are useless, it’s just that they don’t always know the depths of emotional abuse and how to recognize someone with narcissistic personality disorder. In most cases, when you consult psychologists on love, they are fairly accurate. But when it comes to finding a good narcissistic abuse therapist, it’s often easier said than done. And going to couples therapy with a narcissist will almost definitely set you up for victim-blaming. In this video, Dana Morningstar and Angie Atkinson discuss the possibilities and explain how to find the right therapist for you – whether you’re dealing with CPTSD, narcissistic abuse syndrome or any other complication of toxic relationships. With Dana Morningstar from Thrive After Abuse.

Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Therapist? Why traditional therapy for narcissistic abuse doesn’t work

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This is How You Find the Strength to Go On After Narcissistic Abuse

This is How You Find the Strength to Go On After Narcissistic Abuse

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Dealing with an a maligant’s manipulation in a relationship is so difficult. Yet for some reason, when it ends, we are devastated. We feel like our hearts are literally breaking.  It is an emotional pain so bottomless that it can feel like a physical blow. When you have a pain like this one, all you want is for the deep ache to go away. But how do you deal with feeling like you don’t have the strength to go on in the meantime?

Know that, despite the horrible pain you’re feeling right now, you can begin to heal the broken pieces of your heart. But how do you get through the most painful days during and after a relationship with an abusive narcissist? How do you find the strength to go on after narcissistic abuse, when you have been discarded (or even when you’ve left the narcissist yourself)? It can feel impossible, but there are ways you can heal and move forward toward creating the life you want and truly deserve. So where do you start?

This is how you find the strength to go on after narcissistic abuse.

Being involved with a malignant narcissist means you deal with regularly toxic behaviors, including narcissistic abuse and its various forms of manipulation, gaslighting, and in many cases, other forms of physical and psychological abuse. You lose the ability to even recognize yourself in so many ways – and you often even sort of forget who you are on an intrinsic level.

So often, survivors of narcissistic abuse find themselves feeling completely helpless after they are discarded by their abusers. So many have told me that they literally felt like they wanted to die – like they did not even want to keep going. It makes sense that you’d feel that way when you think about how cruel narcissists are to the people they claim to love.

Survivors often ask me questions like the following.

  • How do you find the strength to go on after breaking up with or divorcing a narcissist?
  • How do you get over a narcissist?
  • How do you find purpose in your life after narcissistic abuse?
  • What do you do in order to stop obsessing about the narcissist?
  • How do you get the narcissist to leave you alone?

Start the healing with these 4 Steps to Find the Strength to Move on After Narcissistic Abuse.

More videos to help you heal on this playlist!

How do you deal with a broken heart after narcissistic abuse?

Heartbreak is a pain like any other. It is an emotional pain so bottomless that it can feel like a physical blow. When you have a pain like this one, all you want is for the deep ache to go away. As much as I’d like to advise differently, there is no band-aid for a broken heart. Though it sounds cliché, time is the remedy needed for you to truly heal from such deep, wrenching pain. In time, this pain will go away. Between now and then, however, following a few basic tips might be able to make a difference in how you are feeling.

Following these sometimes difficult, but necessary steps, you can begin to heal the broken pieces of your heart. You can not only become whole again, you can become whatever you wish to become. This is a chance to start fresh, and once the pain starts to ease, you will see it as such an opportunity.

Do you need help and support in your narcissistic abuse recovery process?

How can you get support in your healing? Start with your friends and/or family members who may understand and be willing to support you. If you don’t have supportive or understanding people around you, which is often the case for survivors of narcissistic abuse due to the fact that narcissists have a tendency to isolate you, you may need to look at some other options. Here are a few to consider.

You might also find these videos helpful:

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