Open Your Mind, Open Your Life: Discover Abundance by Being Open to New Opportunities

Open Your Mind, Open Your Life: Discover Abundance by Being Open to New Opportunities

Blue butterflysmallAn important aspect of self-development is the ability to take advantage of every opportunity that presents itself. You might be wondering what opportunities you have. It’s nice to know that your life is full of unknown gems waiting to be discovered!

Try these methods to ensure you’re open to new opportunities:

  1. Recognize that you have opportunities all around you. The first step is to believe the current people, places, and situations you’re involved with may lead to something bigger.
  • If you engage in “limiting thinking,” it’s difficult for you to notice the opportunities around you. You’ll open yourself up to new things if you can broaden your thinking.
  1. Get acquainted with new people. Whenever you meet someone, get to know them. It’s good to have another business connection to network with or personal contact to develop a friendship with. These associations can blossom into opportunities you hadn’t considered.
  • Maybe your new colleague’s brother owns a business that you’d like to reach out to. Or a new neighbor does marathons and you’re interested in running.
  1. Discard the limiting thinking pattern. Many of us adopt a style of thinking like, “This is all I’ll ever have and I’ve got to make do with it.” How does this type of thinking affect your life and your ability to notice new opportunities?
  • When you limit your thoughts, you may be passing up fabulous love, career, and monetary riches.
  • Make a conscious decision to curb the limiting thinking. The next best thing might be just around the corner.
  1. Avoid running from challenging projects at work. You might be thinking, “There’s no way I want to get involved in this project.” Yet, those who take on those types of work tasks learn so much and are given even better opportunities in the future.
  • You can develop a reputation as the “go-to person” and advance your career.
  1. Voluntarily step in to fill voids. Maybe there’s something that needs to be done at work, but others balk at it. Perhaps they think the project sounds boring or that the task is monotonous.
  • For example, maybe no one wants to write the job descriptions for your department. Everyone thinks it sounds useless, but your boss wants it to be completed. Step up and get it done.
  • Another example might be that your neighborhood wants to turn a piece of land into a small park, but nobody is interested in making it happen. Take the lead and contact your city council to initiate the project.
  • When you step in to fill voids, others notice your efforts and you develop some new skills. Plus, some of these tasks can serve as resume builders.

Your life is filled with an unknown brilliance that you probably haven’t tapped into yet. Put these strategies into action today. Be ready and willing to notice and take advantage of all opportunities presented to you. A life filled with abundance is waiting for you!

Making Sense of the Eternal Internal Struggle

Making Sense of the Eternal Internal Struggle

It took me a long time not to judge myself through someone else’s eyes. ~Sally Field

When you’ve been in a toxic relationship dealing with narcissistic abuse, you might find yourself so deep in chronic people-pleaser mode that you literally focus so much on what the narcissist wants that you forget about yourself. So let me ask you: How many times have you not followed your heart because you were worried about what other people might think? How often have you avoided doing something you truly wanted to do because you couldn’t stand the idea that other people would judge you?

Who makes your choices for you, really?

Have you based your major life choices on your own desires, or have you allowed other people to influence you? Do you have regrets because you have given someone else the power to make decisions in your life, whether directly or indirectly? Have you chosen your job, a partner, or your home because someone else thought you should? If so, you’re not alone – and you might be dealing with a serious case of codependency.

What is codependency? 

Codependency is a toxic emotional and behavioral condition that makes it nearly impossible to have a healthy, mutually satisfying relationship. It is also known as “relationship addiction” because people with codependency often form and stay in relationships that are one-sided, emotionally destructive, and/or abusive.

Are you a codependent people pleaser?

Most everyone has, at one time or another, made a choice in their lives that was based on someone else’s opinion. And while there are certainly times when it’s appropriate to do so, there are plenty of times that we regret not following our own intuition.

The difference is this: when you accept the advice of someone else because you feel that it’s right for you, you’re following your own gut and can consider it inspired action  – but when you bend to someone else’s will to please them (despite your own feelings), you’re shortchanging yourself in the happiness department. And, you’re probably codependent. (Not sure? Take our codependency test here!)

Why Do We Care What Other People Think, Anyway?

It’s human nature to care what other people think. From infancy, we learn that when we do what someone else wants us to do, they’re happy with us–and that feels good. As we get older and learn to make the occasional unpopular decision, we are sometimes shocked to learn that some people actually seem to stop being nice to us when we don’t follow their “advice” for living.

But ultimately, we care what people think because we are taught to base our identities on the messages they give us. When our parents tell us we’re good for following their rules, for example, we begin to feel that we need to follow the rules to be good. When our kindergarten teachers scold us for coloring outside the lines, we begin to feel that unless we “stay inside the lines,” we’re wrong.

We take the messages that we hear from others about ourselves every day of our lives, and we internalize them–to such an extent that we find ourselves dependent on the approval of others for our own self-worth.

Should We Just Stop Caring?

Of course, this is a two-sided coin. While we certainly need to learn to follow our hearts and our own intuition toward inspired action and to make our own life choices, there are times we need to follow the rules. For example, to be productive members of society, we need to follow certain societal norms–at the very least, we have to follow the laws of the land.

And, the fact of the matter is, most of us aren’t able to just “turn off” caring about what others, especially those we care about, think about us and our choices. We don’t want to become cold and immune to the emotions of others, but we want to be happy. To be happy, we must make our own choices, follow our own divine inspiration for what we want our lives to be. At the end of the day, we’re the ones who must live with the decisions we make.

So where does this leave us? Are we doomed to an eternal internal struggle? How do we start taking charge of our own lives and stop letting the judgments and opinions of others dictate our choices? What do you think?

Next Up: How to Stop Caring What People Think (Without Looking Like a Huge Jerk)


Get help with narcissistic abuse recovery, right now.

Open Your Mind, Open Your Life: Discover Abundance by Being Open to New Opportunities

Does Beauty Need to Hurt?

By Laura Fenamore, Owning Pink

I have a secret.

While it’s true that I care more about women making peace with their bodies than most people, and although I live my life committed to supporting women in liking who and what they see when they look in the mirror, I was one of the first in line to see Sex & The City II when it came out a few years ago.

Seems so shallow to admit that. Let’s face it ladies, as much as many of us love these four characters, they are not exactly representational of most women today – many of whom are struggling to take care of their children while working full time. But while Carrie, Samantha, Charlotte, and Miranda do not represent most women, they do represent something that makes my heart just sing. I fell in love with the characters from the get-go. I literally cried my way through the last episode of the series, and have watched every episode a few times each. The pretend world they occupy feels and looks so glamorous, and I love how they strut around exuding power in a way that feels sincere and effortless.

While I do like to look nice, I am not a shopper and I am not someone who goes crazy about fashion. But whenever I am trying on clothes, I make believe I am Carrie – my favorite character on the show. I am nothing like her, and yet she is my alter ego. I just love how she walks around NYC in her high heels and cool clothes.

My own “Carrie” moment

So yesterday, I am in Banana Republic and I put myself into Carrie mode. I see this pair of heels that are so fun, so cool, and so not me, and yet I had this feeling come over me, and suddenly I HAD TO HAVE THEM! I did not care what they cost, how high they were, how much they hurt – I just had to have them.

I wear a size 10 wide, and it is difficult to find shoes in my size. However, the store had a 10, and on my feet they went. They were too tight and so not right. I said to Michael, the gay guy helping me, “These shoes are so tight, but I want to be like Carrie.”

Michael cracked up. Then he looked at me very seriously and said, “Honey, beauty is painful.”

I said, “You are so right, and it is so unfair.”

Of course I got them. After all, they were on sale.

Does it have to hurt?

I care more about our insides than about how we look. I care about how we talk to ourselves every day, and I want to live in a world where we are less critical and more self-loving. I care more than anything about the obesity epidemic that plagues us, and I care about the fact that we are seduced by the beauty industry. I care that models starve themselves and that “beauty is painful.” Women – myself included – do all kinds of whacky things to make themselves look good at the expense of their health and their soul.

I am passionately committed to these causes. I so want to live in a world where beauty is no longer cruel. But I also have an inner Carrie who, in a perfect world, can still have sexy black high heels. It’s one of those great paradoxes that makes me who I am. I own both parts, and know they’re right. (I just wish the Carrie side didn’t have to hurt!)

What about you? Are you willing to suffer for beauty? Have you suffered long enough? Where along the continuum from inner beauty to outer glamor do you spend most of your time?

Teetering in tight heels,
Laura

Laura Fenamore, CPCCLaura Fenamore's picture
Body Image Mastery Mentor
www.onepinky.com

 

*This post originally published at and copyright of OwningPink.com. Reprinted with permission.

Affirmations and Reflection: Blessings Follow Me Wherever I Go

Affirmations and Reflection: Blessings Follow Me Wherever I Go

Daily Affirmations

Blessings follow me wherever I go.

In all things, I am blessed and I make it a point to take notice of all the good in my life. Even if I experience challenging events, I always remember how blessed I am.

I always have plenty of whatever I need. And often, I have more than enough. I am loved abundantly and I have plentiful love to give in return.

Infinite resources are at my fingertips. In the realm of money, I always have enough to cover my basic needs and to meet many of my desires, too.

If I experience times when I feel a lack of abundance, I remind myself that, in truth, I have all that I require. Whether I am employed or unemployed, partnered or single, with lots of kids or no kids at all, I feel blessed in a multitude of ways.

Nothing I can do can destroy or wash away the many blessings that come my way. And to be fully satisfied with life, all I have to do is remember the abundance that is available to me.

My universe is plentiful and my heart is abundant. Blessings come to me freely, and I cultivate gratitude for it.

Today, I make time to contemplate the ways in which I am a blessed. I regularly experience gratitude for all of the wonderful things in my life. And I seek out opportunities to demonstrate this gratitude by living with a sense of abundance.

Self-Reflection Questions:

1. How have blessings manifested in my life in the past few weeks?
2. What are three things I can be thankful for today?
3. What are some positive surprises that have arisen from events I initially perceived as negative?

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