Narcissists Believe Their Own Lies: Here’s Why

Narcissistic Personality Disorder and Cognitive Distortions – According to my research, there’s such a thing as “cognitive distortions” which are often associated with narcissists and psychopaths, people with NPD (narcissistic personality disorder) and those in psychopathological states.

What are cognitive distortions?

These cognitive distortions are defined as “exaggerated or irrational thought patterns that are believed to perpetuate the effects of psychopathological states, especially depression and anxiety.”

The first person to study these kinds of distortions was psychiatrist Aaron T. Beck. Along with his student David D. Burns, Beck built up significant research on the topic. Burns’ 1989 book, The Feeling Good Handbook presented an overview of these twisted thought patterns along with his suggestions on how to eliminate them. In general, cognitive distortions cause people to perceive reality differently than literally everyone around them. Someone with Cluster B traits is less likely to perceive events and situations the way that most people do. This kind of thinking is often involved in the gaslighting process.

What is gaslighting?

Gaslighting is a common manipulation technique used by most narcissists and other toxic people. It’s is an incredibly pervasive and highly-effective tactic meant to manipulate you by psychological means into questioning your own sanity. In other words, gaslighting is meant to make you doubt your reality, your perception of the people and situations in your life, and even your own thoughts about those things. Narcissists gaslight you in order to make you feel confused and overwhelmed. This often leads to you becoming increasingly dependent on the narcissist to tell you what YOU think and feel. It is a form of psychological abuse.

Narcissists Believe Their Own Lies: This is Why

Narcissists have the utmost faith in their personal convictions, and they’re no less convinced of their own lies than “normal” people are of basic facts (the sky is blue, the grass is green). In fact, narcissists actually believe their own lies – and that is why they are so convincing.

For some especially charismatic narcissists, that blind self-faith becomes pretty contagious. That’s because we’re programmed to only detect lies that are blatant – and since many narcissists actually BELIEVE their own lies, they can be very convincing. To them, their twisted perceptions have become real – so real, that they seem to be the actual truth.

I’ll explain it all in this video.

How to Deal with a Narcissist and Their Cognitive Distortions

Narcissists and their manipulation tactics will drive you over the edge – they are crazymaking! The best way to deal with a narcissist in almost any situation is to use the gray rock method. Gray rock is a coping technique for survivors of narcissistic abuse. The technique was named and first published by a writer called Skylar, who advises that you act boring and don’t react to the narcissist’s attempts to engage you in drama. The tactic is highly effective but also infuriating for narcissists to experience.

Please be careful, though. Use the gray rock method with caution if you are dealing with any physical abuse as the narcissist may not react well.

Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Support Resources

Which Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Program is Right for You? If you aren’t sure which program you want to utilize to facilitate your recovery from narcissistic abuse, this self-assessment will help you decide.
The QueenBeeing SPANily, Official – We consider this to be the best narcissistic abuse recovery support group on the web. Offers several subgroups and features a vigilant, compassionate admin team full of trained coaches and survivors, supporting more than 12k members. SPAN is an acronym created by Angie Atkinson that stands for Support for People Affected by Narcissistic abuse in toxic relationships.
Other Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Support Groups – We also have separate groups for each stage in your narcissistic abuse recovery, as well as some for those who have moved past recovery and are evolving into the next stage of their own life. Survivors have unique and individual needs, even when they’ve moved on – so we’re still here for you.
One-on-One Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Coaching – If you prefer to get more personalized support in your recovery, you might like to schedule a session with one of our coaches to plan and execute your own narcissistic abuse recovery plan.
Find a Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Therapist – If you’re looking for a therapist for narcissistic abuse recovery, either because you cannot afford coaching and want to use your health insurance or because you have additional issues you need to address that do not fall within the realm of coaching, you will want to find the right therapist for you – and as far as we’re concerned, that therapist must understand what you’ve been through. This page offers assistance to help you do exactly that.
Get private, one-on-one narcissistic abuse recovery coaching or counseling.
Get a therapist who will work with you online. Don’t forget your health care professional can also point you in the right direction to get help for PTSD. Check out our guide to finding a therapist or psychologist who understands narcissism and narcissistic abuse.
Where Are You in Recovery? You might not be sure exactly where you fit in and what level of recovery you’ve achieved. If that’s the case, you’ll want to check out this self-assessment to help you determine exactly where you fall in the stages of recovery from narcissistic abuse. Once you finish and submit the assessment, you will be given resources for your own situation, along with recommendations of which groups to join.
Join one of our private small coaching groups!