Shadow Work for Narcissistic Abuse Survivors

Shadow Work for Narcissistic Abuse Survivors

 “Shadow work is, at heart, about developing self-awareness and ultimately, self-acceptance and compassion. Shadow work is often both therapy and more spiritual, helping you see the different parts of yourself.” ~Maggie Wooll

Advanced Self-Help Healing: Shadow Work in Narcissistic Abuse Recovery

If you’ve found yourself dealing with narcissistic abuse in a toxic relationship, chances are you’ve found yourself feeling lost, unseen, unheard, and even completely invisible. You might not be sure who you are anymore.

While nearly everyone could benefit from shadow work, for narcissistic abuse survivors, not only is it something that could temporarily soothe some of the pain you’re dealing with, but the long-term application could change everything for you.

For survivors, going this deep can be far more difficult and painful than most people realize. I can relate because I’ve been there myself

Narcissists are so good at manipulating us and keeping us under their thumbs that we are often left feeling like a hopeless mess, with no sense of who we are or what we want. Shadow work may offer exactly the help you’ve been looking for if you’ve found yourself in this situation.

This is just one reason why shadow work is so important for narcissistic abuse survivors.

How can you do shadow work on your own?

Good news – shadow work is one way you can “self-help” your way through recovery. In fact, I recently launched a new series to teach you about shadow work in bite-sized pieces.

Want to participate? It’s free – just follow this playlist to learn about and get prompts nearly every day through my new shadow work series. You’ll also be able to access it through this website. 

 

Who created shadow work?

Carl Jung, a psychologist from Switzerland, is reportedly the first person who conceived of the idea of the shadow self. In Jungian psychology, the word ‘shadow’ refers to hidden parts of our being. 

Jung described it as the “unknown dark side of the personality” that was “instinctive and irrational.”

“There is no coming to consciousness without pain,” Jung said. “People will do anything, no matter how absurd, in order to avoid facing their own soul. One does not become enlightened by imagining figures of light, but by making the darkness conscious.”

He also noted that the shadow is prone to psychological projection. This, he said, would lead to perceived personal inferiority within yourself, just as you might notice that someone else has some sort of perceived moral deficiency.

What is Shadow Work?

“The shadow is a moral problem that challenges the whole ego-personality, for no one can become conscious of the shadow without considerable moral effort. To become conscious of it involves recognizing the dark aspects of the personality as present and real. This act is the essential condition for any kind of self-knowledge.” ~Carl Jung, Aion (1951)

Shadow work is a term used to describe the process of facing your own darkness.  It’s meant to help you find and fix the “broken” parts of yourself. In other words, shadow work will help you to identify the parts of yourself that you are afraid to look at, either because they are taboo or because they might not be so nice (or because you might feel embarrassed or shy to share them with anyone else – sometimes, you’re even hiding from yourself).

Shadow work is about facing your inner darkness head-on and finding a way to heal from narcissistic abuse and trauma

Shadow work reconnects us with our spiritual selves, helps us find the parts of ourselves that have been broken and damaged (and even little habits we just don’t love about ourselves), then guides us on the path to personal growth and empowerment.

How do you know you need to do shadow work?

When I first learned about shadow work, I thought I’d already healed from all of my damage and had nothing left to fix – at least nothing much. But sure enough, I still had plenty of deep-rooted issues – and it really helped me to clear my head, my heart, and my mind so I could evolve into the next best self I could be.

Often we don’t realize that these things exist within us until someone else points them out to us through their behavior toward us (or sometimes even just by using language like “you’re not good enough”).

When we hear something like this from another person (in whatever form), it feels like confirmation of all the things we may already know about ourselves but that we haven’t been able to face before now – so instead we project those thoughts onto other people instead.

Now, there’s another thing to think about: if you’re anything like me, your first instinct when you started noticing these things was to just shove it down and stop the behavior rather than going to the trouble to work through it and move forward in a healthier way. 

What’s the difference between inner child work and shadow work?

If you’re wondering what’s different between inner child work and shadow work (or even the difference between inner child and shadow self, know that you’re not alone. When I began to research shadow work, I suspected they were either connected or were one and the same. 

And, according to my research, they are indeed connected. The way I understand it, shadow work encompasses more than the inner child, but does include the inner child. 

So, in layman’s terms, the inner child will be healed as one part of the shadow work, but the shadow encompasses your whole life up to this point, along with all of the latest traumas.

When you grew out of being a child, your inner child stayed stuck – but your shadow continued along the way with you and saw the rest of the stress and mess you experienced. 

How is Shadow Work Used by Narcissistic Abuse Survivors?

Shadow Work can be used as a sort of “self-help therapy” when you’re going through narcissistic abuse recovery.

Many narcissistic abuse survivors report that doing shadow work has helped them to reclaim their identity and find their true self-worth again after being manipulated and controlled throughout their relationship with a narcissist.

Shadow work involves looking at aspects of your personality that aren’t healthy or positive, so they can be brought to the light and resolved through positive action steps like journaling or meditating on them until they resolve themselves internally.

Shadow work can also help survivors deal with painful memories related to the abuse cycle itself (i.e., flashbacks).

This process is often difficult for people who’ve experienced narcissistic abuse because they’re triggered regularly by things like social media posts or news articles about similar situations happening around us today.

At what point in narcissistic abuse recovery is shadow work most effective?

When you’re ready to do your shadow work, you’ll need to be beyond the first stage of recovery if you’re going to be effective and not retraumatize yourself too much. Why? 

At the beginning of recovery, you might find yourself sort of spinning and feeling very raw. In this state, you’re not going to be very effective with shadow work, due to both your own fragile state and the fact that you’re going to be trying to figure out the narcissist and their own psychology at this point.

That’s exactly why I believe that shadow work will work best for survivors who are in the last stages of healing and evolving after abuse.

As we muddle through the early steps of recovery when we’re often feeling like it’s painful to even be awake, much less digging into ourselves to find the hidden broken parts.

We’re just not there yet; we’re not really ready or even equipped to do our shadow work as we suffer through the early stages of recovery. 

But by the time you’ve gotten past the first few hurdles in recovery, you might be looking for a deeper or more advanced way to work through your traumas and finally, release them – once and for all. Shadow work might be just what you need.

How do you know where you’re at? Take the DUO test and find out.

How to Start the Shadow Work Process

You’ve just taken the first step in this process by reading the information above. Now, it can help to understand why you need to do this work and how it will help you heal from narcissistic abuse in ways that other healing modalities can’t.

5 Steps For Doing Shadow Work

You might feel like you’re beating your head against a wall, but you will get there. We will be using a modified version of my DUO Method to do our shadow work together.

Here are the steps we’ll follow doing our shadow work. 

  • Step 1: Identify the problem. What do you want to work through or fix in yourself? (Discover)
  • Step 2: Acknowledge the problem and accept it. Accept without condition both the problem and yourself in the process – you’re not bad or evil because you’ve struggled with this or any other issue. (Unconditional self-acceptance)
  • Step 3: Look at the problem (this is where you have to dig deep) and do your research to understand it. (Understand)
  • .Step 4:  Be honest with yourself about what’s been going on, who’s been involved, and how this has impacted your life in a negative way for years now, even when it was just one or two small things happening every once in a while that added up over time until all of a sudden everything changed overnight…because it usually does! (Overcome)
  • Step 5: Unconditionally accept and learn to love you for YOU. This is where evolution happens for a survivor. 

Shadow Work Prompts for Narcissistic Abuse Survivors

One of the simplest and most effective ways to start your shadow work is through journal prompts. You’ll want to get a dedicated notebook or to even use YouTube, Instagram, or TikTok to record yourself and your efforts in mind and to keep your thoughts in place and organized. 

I’ve recently launched a new series for narcissistic abuse survivors on my video platforms. Here’s the first video for your convenience. (I’m using the hashtag #shadowworkforsurviors on all platforms – so feel free to follow wherever you prefer. I’m on YouTube, TikTok, IG and Facebook Reels)

If you want to get a jump start on this process, you can start by taking some time to answer each of the following questions in your journal or video diary. 

  • How can I feel safe in this world?
  • What is my worth, and how am I going to get it back?
  • How do I trust people again, or do I even have the capacity to trust people again?
  • What are some of the ways that I have been damaged by being in a relationship with someone who was toxic like this one was?
  • How do I express my emotions now that they’re no longer being oppressed by my abuser’s behavior?

There are simple ways to begin doing shadow work, but it takes a long time and can be painful. In any case, it’s totally worth the effort. You can do it!

Takeaway 

  • Healthy relationships are a challenge for anyone, especially those of us who have been through narcissistic abuse. However, by doing shadow work, you can heal your past trauma and find the confidence to move forward with your life.
  • Shadow work can be used as part of the process of healing after narcissistic abuse. The idea behind it is that when you have been in an abusive relationship, you have become confused about who you are and what is real. Shadow work offers the opportunity to rediscover yourself and redesign your life.
  • Your abuser has controlled your reality by gradually changing how you think, how you feel, and what makes sense to you. As part of this process, they may also have convinced you that there are parts of yourself that are negative or bad.
  • It can be helpful to think about shadow work as a process of facing the parts of ourselves that we have been avoiding (the shadow). This might include our pain, our feelings about being controlled or manipulated by others, or even just our own feelings about ourselves.

Start Getting Help with Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Today

Want to fast-track your narcissistic abuse healing with a celebrity psychologist?

Want to fast-track your narcissistic abuse healing with a celebrity psychologist?

Have you experienced the devastating effects of narcissistic abuse in a toxic relationship? If you have, you’re not alone!

In fact, millions of people have been affected by narcissistic abuse from their spouses or partners, family members, friends, bosses, coworkers, and even acquaintances. So many survivors suffer in silence, and some don’t even recognize the abuse due to its pervasive nature.

But now you can change all of that – and the best part is that you don’t have to go it alone. You can get personal help from celebrity psychologist, Dr. Judy Rosenberg.

Introducing Dr. Judy Rosenberg’s Mind Map – BREAKTHROUGH THERAPY

A Life-Changing Journey To Be The Cause® Of Better Outcomes For Your Life!

DECODE YOUR PAST…RECODE YOUR FUTURE®

This is a proven system designed to identify childhood wounds, dismantle them at the CAUSAL level, and Paradigm Shift into mental well-being. You Will Finally Get To The Truth of WHY You Seem to Attract Toxic People and Learn How to End the Pain, ONCE AND FOR ALL! 

The Mind Map Will Help You to:

  • Identify Your Childhood Wounds
  • Learn how to identify childhood wounds from your past, how you reacted to them, and how you encoded them.
  • See How Your Wounds Still Affect You Today
  • See how your wounds created your current chaos and how to identify defense mechanisms that keep you stuck.
  • Break through your defenses and release yourself from psychological prison. 

You Will Learn To Shift: 

  • Paradigm Shift Into Mental Health
  • Learn how to paradigm shift your relationship with yourself and others, heal, recode, and reconnect. This will allow you to Be The Cause® of better outcomes for your life.

GET TO THE HEART OF THE PROBLEM AND STRAIGHT TO THE CAUSE

  • Don’t Get Treatment for the Symptoms, Treat the Underlying Cause
  • These Are Not Just Techniques. It’s an Entire System That Has Worked for Thousands, Including Many of Dr. Judy’s celebrity clients.
  • Get Instruction From a Licensed Clinical Psychologist Who Has Been in Practice for Over 25 Years
  •  Journal Your Mind Map™ Journey, your storyboard of your pathway from DISCONNECTION and MENTAL UNHEALTH to your mental HEALTH and CONNECTION

You Will Learn:

  • WHO is the cause of your mental dis-ease
  • WHAT Human Disconnect does to your psyche
  • WHERE you are going on the pathway to healing
  • FROM – Past mental health
  • THROUGH – Dismantling your old psychological DNA
  • TO – Paradigm shifting into a newly encoded and healthy blueprint of mental health
  • Do this NOW so you don’t have to carry your dis-ease within and spread it to the next generation.
  • WHY? Because you’re sick and tired of suffering from anxiety, depression, bad habits, relationships, and other unhealthy symptoms and patterns

What if you could personally jumpstart your healing process with a renowned celebrity psychologist?

In her mission to help heal Global Disconnect, Dr. Judy Rosenberg has been helping to heal some of our society’s most elite members for over 30 years. Now, she wants to take her mission to the next level with an exclusive offer! But this offer will only be extended to a select few – so you’re going to need to hurry if you want a spot. 

Learn more about Dr. Judy’s mind map system

Here’s a video interview I recently did with Dr. Judy about her amazing mind map system. If you have questions, give Dr. Judy’s office a call at (855) 431-0360.

Only a few spots left in Dr. Judy’s upcoming online workshop!

Here’s the exciting part: Dr. Judy has created a special, 3-part live interactive webinar workshop, during which she will personally guide 25 special people through her personally developed, proven, and shockingly effective Mind Map system.

Yes, the same one that countless celebrities have used to heal from their own childhood traumas and adult toxic relationships.

The catch? Because she wants to personally guide each survivor through the system, she has limited access to this exclusive event to only 25 people.

So how do you qualify to be part of this rare event?

  • First, you must be able to attend each session and ready to take back your power.
  • Second, you must be willing and able to do the work involved.
  • Finally, you must be genuinely committed to creating profound personal change in your life.

What do you get out of this?

I mean, besides the opportunity to have this celebrity psychologist personally walk you through the system that has been helping the elite heal for years?

Not only will Dr. Judy teach you how to “think like a shrink” so you can manage your own mental health, but you’ll come away with a new secret superpower: you can reuse the Mind Map, again and again, to dig into and resolve most issues that keep you from living your best life.

Plus, you’ll get the benefit of the shared community experience with others who are on their own healing journeys.

Learn practical strategies for making a successful transition from victim to survivor and master how to: avoid the pitfalls of narcissistic abuse, interpret narcissistic signals, manage distorted feelings and emotions, avoid the problems of codependency, gain clarity from past experiences including childhood wounds, and reclaim your true identity, once and for all.

YES, the Mind Map system is THAT powerful – it really works.

What Dr. Judy’s Clients Say

” I was so excited to see and work with Dr. Judy as I had been following the WTF shows from London. From the start, Dr. Judy ‘got it’, I mean she got my story! For the first time in my life, someone was able to understand and see the patterns. It wasn’t at all easy if I am honest and sometimes I was filled with so much fear that I would never be able to escape my core belief system but in the end, after a climactic panel 6, something inside me began to shift.

I am so grateful to have had the opportunity to work with Dr. Judy who really does all this from her heart! I’m still working through a lot even though I’m almost on panel 9 but what I know is that deep within me a seismic shift has taken place. I’m discovering more about the effects of narcissism and uncovering deep offshoots of my core belief which is painful fascinating at the same time.

It is true what they say- ‘when the student is ready, the teacher comes.” ~C,D.

“She mindfully shifts our conversations to relevant behavioral patterns and provides useful, constructive tools through her mind map principles, which causes me to better understand the relationship with myself and others in a completely new (and healthier) perspective.” ~T.R.
“After only 10 sessions I became a better, stronger person with Judy. When I first came in I was full of issues and not having any idea about how to deal with them and start living life again.” ~K.K.

Learn more and sign up for this one-time online event

Visit Psychological Healing Center to learn more and sign up for this amazing opportunity – but hurry, as there are just a few spots left!

Questions you’d like to ask before you sign up? 

Just give Dr. Judy’s office a call at (855) 431-0360, or take a look at this video featuring more information about Dr. Judy’s Mind Map system

How Conscious Breathing Will Help You In Narcissistic Abuse Recovery

How Conscious Breathing Will Help You In Narcissistic Abuse Recovery

“Breathing is the bridge between mind and body, the connection between consciousness and unconsciousness, the movement of spirit in matter. Breath is the key to health and wellness, a function we can learn to regulate and develop in order to improve our physical, mental, and spiritual well-being.” ~ Dr. Andrew Weil

Conscious breathing can be beneficial for survivors of narcissistic abuse. It offers a simple but incredibly effective self-help option for several issues related to narcissistic abuse, including stress, physical and emotional pain, complex PTSD, and anxiety attacks to name but a few.

Breathing is something we do every day, but how often do we consciously appreciate the process? Unfortunately, for most of us, the answer is not often enough! And when you’re dealing with the stress and overwhelm that goes along with narcissistic abuse and recovery, you’re more likely to breathe in a shallower fashion, which will cause other issues for you. But conscious breathing offers one way you can start to relieve your stress and overcome your overwhelm in recovery. So let’s talk about it.

What is Conscious Breathing?

Conscious breathing is a powerful way you can pattern-interrupt your stress and overwhelm in narcissistic abuse recovery, not to mention an incredibly useful method for maintaining your well-being. Luckily, anyone can learn the technique and use it regularly to strengthen both mental and physical health. It’s easy! One pioneer in conscious breathing is Wim Hof, who shares scientific research that explains why this works, along with his own methods, on his website. Basically, conscious breathing is becoming aware of how you take in oxygen and release carbon dioxide from your body. You can use this technique anywhere and anytime. There are different types of conscious breathing methods, but they all have similar aspects.

What are the benefits of conscious breathing in narcissistic abuse recovery?

We are going to focus on how conscious breathing can calm you down in the hard times during narcissistic abuse recovery. You can also use conscious breathing for various reasons, such as yoga and meditation, to focus on an activity or task at hand, to calm oneself down in moments of distress/frustration/anger, and for good health.

Breathing effectively can make us feel more alive than we’ve ever felt before. It’s an automatic reflex that we take completely for granted, but it can prove extremely beneficial in all areas of our lives when used in the right way. Conscious breathing can bring you a natural high, which increases your positivity.  Your relationships with other people, moods and tolerance levels, physical well-being, psychological wellbeing, and general happiness can all be benefited through conscious breathing.

  • Conscious breathing develops the relationship between our mind and our body.
  • It reduces stress, anxiety, anger, and depression.
  • It improves our posture, coordination, and physical well-being
  • It connects us with the natural environment and everything that is happening around us, the air we breathe

Mental benefits of conscious breathing in narcissistic abuse recovery

  •  Conscious breathing can decrease stress and give you inner peace. In addition, it can help you focus during difficult moments.
  • It can reduce fear, worry, and anxiety. It can help you deal with daily conflicts and issues.
  • Conscious breathing can help your mind by giving it enough oxygen to focus and strengthen your concentration. In addition, it can have a positive impact on memory and test results, such as exams in school.

Conscious breathing has physical benefits too.

Conscious breathing makes a positive impact on your overall health:

  • Practicing conscious breathing regularly can strengthen lung function and reduce asthma. It may not be able to reverse all damage or issues, but it can make a difference.
  • Conscious breathing can also positively affect the cardiovascular system. This is because your body needs a constant flow of oxygen to function properly. By getting more oxygen, circulation and blood flow improves.
  • Conscious breathing forces you to breathe through your nose. Breathing through the nose is healthier. In addition, it can make your mouth less dry. A dry mouth can cause tooth decay and affect the overall health of the tongue.
  •  You might even reduce or eliminate snoring because, when you snore, you’re breathing through your open mouth. Even your relationships may improve with a decrease in snoring!
  •  Conscious breathing can enhance your sleep and give you energy.
  • Conscious breathing can also affect your weight. For example, deep breathing can reduce snoring, which can affect the hunger hormones. When you snore, you don’t get enough rest, so the hunger hormones increase and cause weight gain.

How Do You Use Conscious Breathing in Narcissistic Abuse Recovery?

So how do you do it? Well, let me teach you a bit more about this powerful health strategy.

How to practice conscious breathing

Conscious breathing requires you to focus on how you breathe. It makes you think about the process and regulate it. Conscious breathing forces you to live in the moment and enjoy it.

  • You can become more aware of the process by putting your hand on your stomach. Relax and breathe in deeply through your nose. As you breathe in, your abdomen will rise. Then, pause and exhale gently. You can feel your abdomen go back down as you exhale.
  •  You can even practice conscious breathing using various rhythms and patterns.
  • Try conscious breathing in a quiet room or area. Avoid interruptions from phones or other devices.
  • Combining meditation with conscious breathing makes the technique even more effective.

Conscious breathing is a teachable process that is easy to learn. It can have a positive influence on many aspects of your life.

Get help with narcissistic abuse recovery right now.

Best Expert Resources on Conscious Breathing

Read these books from the experts on conscious breathing for more information.

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