When You Feel Stuck in a Rut After Narcissistic Abuse

When You Feel Stuck in a Rut After Narcissistic Abuse

Ever feel like you’re stuck in a rut, or like you’re just spinning your wheels? I know the feeling – and so do most other survivors.

Sometimes, in narcissistic abuse recovery, we get stuck and feel frozen, like we can’t do anything. We might even have bouts of dissociation.

Watch this video for additional information.

The Painful Transition From Narcissistic Abuse to HAVING a Normal Life

After being involved with a narcissist, you may feel depressed and uncertain about your future.

That’s okay! You’ve done the hard part by recognizing that you need help getting out of the relationship and healing from it.

All that’s left is to figure out what support system and resources will work best for you.

What is dissociation as it relates to narcissistic abuse?

Dissociation is a process by which the individual disconnects from their body and feelings.

This can make it difficult to experience and remember the abuse and process and grieve the experience.

If you’re struggling with dissociation in your recovery from narcissistic abuse, this video is for you! We’ll discuss the symptoms and how to overcome them so you can start rebuilding your life.

Dissociation is a common symptom of narcissistic abuse. We’ll discuss its causes and effects and share tips on overcoming it in narcissistic abuse recovery.

This episode is for you if you’re struggling with dissociation in your recovery from narcissistic abuse. We’ll discuss the causes of dissociation, its effects on your life, and how to overcome it.

By the end of this video, you’ll know more about this common symptom of narcissistic abuse and how to overcome it!

The Key to Overcoming Feeling Stuck

Some of us struggle with clutter, so I will use this as an example of how we get stuck.

Clutter can be a highly stressful and destructive problem for some survivors because they feel stuck and unable to function.

Maybe you can relate? If so, you’re probably feeling many things: overwhelmed, confused, stressed, and embarrassed, not to mention depressed. 

And who could blame you for feeling this way? I’ve been there myself, and I’ve felt exactly like you do.

Read this next sentence carefully: It is NOT your fault. 

Clutter can literally be a symptom of your abuse. YES. 

If this sounds like something you struggle with, you might want to look at my free 30-day home makeover challenge

Coach Tip: One Thing

I came up with a little hack that has helped me whenever I felt stuck – and I still use it today.

It is so simple you probably won’t even believe me – but try to do one thing.

Yes, I know, it sounds like it’s TOO simple.

But hear me out. When I felt stuck over the years, I’d eventually permit myself to STAY stuck.

And then I’d tell myself I just had to do ONE thing – that if I wanted to, I’d be able to stop right after that one thing. (For example, if my house were messy, I’d make myself clean off just one table).

And even though I allowed myself to stop at that point, often, that was enough to keep me going – that feeling of accomplishment would push me forward to do the next task, and then the next, and so on.

How to Begin Healing After Narcissistic Abuse

It’s hard to ask for help when you’re feeling so lost and alone, but here are some steps to help you get the kind of narcissist abuse recovery support you need.

Step 1: Consider Your Support System

When you’re trying to recover from narcissistic abuse, it can feel like there’s a giant hole in your life where your support system used to be.

Now it’s time to look at the resources that are available to you right now.

  • Do you have friends or family who can support and encourage you?
  • Do they know about your experiences with the narcissist?
  • If not, do they want to know more?
  • If so, what would they most want to learn about?
  • What do they already know?
  • Is there anything else they need to understand?

Step 2: Ask Yourself

The second step is to talk through the following questions with someone who is safe and supportive and who will listen without judging or criticizing.

  • “What am I feeling right now?”
  • “How long have I been feeling this way?”
  • “What is contributing most strongly right now?”
  • “What do I need?”
  • “What would help me move forward?” 

Step 3: Skip the Sugar-Coating.

The next part is difficult: you’ll have to be brutally honest with yourself here.

This might be hard to swallow, but you’ll be lucky to have a good support system when you finally realize what you’re dealing with.

The truth is that you’ll be among the majority of survivors if your support system isn’t up to snuff.

Why? Because narcissists are good at isolating us during the abuse, which leaves many survivors with no one (or almost no one) to support them effectively when all is said and done. 

Don’t worry, though. I’ve been there, and because of that, I have done my best to make it possible for you to recover with the kind of support I WISH I’d have had back then. 

In other words, my team and I have you covered, no matter your budget.  The following list of free and lower-cost support options might help you as you embark on your narcissistic abuse recovery journey.

Here’s Help with Narcissistic Abuse Recovery 

What Are The Pros And Cons Of Joining A Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Support Group?

What Are The Pros And Cons Of Joining A Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Support Group?

So, you just went no contact with a narcissistic ex or narcissistic parent, and you are struggling with the trauma associated with the abuse you endured during the time you were in their presence. Maybe you’ve found a therapist, or you’re getting weekly narcissistic abuse recovery coaching, but you feel like need something more when it comes to getting the support you need so you can heal. Or maybe you can’t afford to pay for a therapist or coach, but you find yourself feeling very alone in the world and you just want someone who understands.

Any of these issues can be solved with one single step: you can join a free, online, confidential narcissistic abuse recovery support group.  But, when you’re working on building your support system in your own narcissistic abuse recovery, there are things you need to consider.

Beware of Predatory Groups

There are so many groups out there that are amazing and supportive. But there are those which are more predatory and money-focused, and they can actually do more harm than good for your recovery. This is exactly why it’s so important to be really careful when choosing your recovery support team. Sadly, there are people who claim to be advocating for abuse victims, but who are actually only out to make money. These people sometimes offer support systems that are not only not reliable, but that are often over-priced and which don’t work effectively.

This is often due to the fact that these people aren’t actually survivors, but business people who see our recovery from abuse as a potential cash-cow. Just remember: no matter how good the hype, not everyone who claims to want to help you is genuine. With that being said, the large majority of those who are sharing their experiences and creating support groups around narcissistic abuse recovery will often be very genuine in their efforts as they are survivors themselves.

Get Safe Online Support for Narcissistic Abuse Recovery

Here’s some good news. Here at QueenBeeing, we are survivors who do what we do to help our fellow survivors – and it’s why the majority of our services (including our online narcissistic abuse recovery support groups) are free. One of the best things about our ever-evolving technology is that you do not need to leave your home to attend any support group meeting. You can hop online to one from the comfort of your own home. This is especially helpful as our society is currently discouraging large in-person group meetings, but also for those who are still actively dealing with the abuse who may struggle to justify a meeting to an abuser. An online group offers you the ability to get support from the comfort of your home (or wherever you happen to be) on your own schedule.

And, sometimes, just being validated by a group can help you to see the truth about your life and can lead you to want to take action to change it – and that is what makes support not only appealing for survivors of narcissistic abuse but truly necessary.

Joining an Online Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Support Group: Pros and Cons to Consider

Should you join a support group for narcissistic abuse recovery? Let’s take a look at the pros and cons of joining one right now.

The Pros Of Joining A Support Group For Narcissistic Abuse Recovery

The idea of joining a narcissistic abuse recovery support group can be appealing and daunting. However, there are several advantages of doing so, and let’s talk about the pros right now:

  • You can have access to the group 24/7. If you are too busy with work or other duties during the day and don’t have the time to get the most of the groups in the evening, there is no worry about that. The access for you is there at any time of the day and the night. If you need to go into the group at 3 am even, it is there!
  • You can express the pain from the abuse you endured with the narcissist to people who get it –  You are in a group where others like yourself face trauma from having to endure narcissistic abuse. Those who are in the group understand, and by knowing that, you know that you have a safe place to express your pain, sorrow and talk about your trauma. That is because others there understand.
  • You can keep your private experiences private from the people in your “real life.” At least until you’re ready to share with them, by joining a narcissistic abuse recovery support group, you won’t have to worry about talking to a friend about heavy stuff. This might be because you worry they won’t understand where you’re coming from as they haven’t had similar experiences, or it might be that you worry they won’t believe you. And in some cases, you won’t want to share your experiences yet because you don’t even really understand them yourself.
  • You will receive empathy and support, and validation. In a narcissistic abuse recovery support group, you will receive the validation you need and support and empathy because, once again, those in the group understand where you are coming from. You won’t deal with toxic positivity or those who cannot empathize with you, making a world of difference with your recovery.

However, like with anything else, there are both pros and cons. Let’s talk about the cons when it comes to joining a narcissistic abuse recovery support group.

The Cons Of Joining An Abuse Recovery Support Group

You just read about the advantages of joining an abuse recovery support group. Let’s now talk about some of the disadvantages to keep in mind:

  • Some members can troll you – You know that most of the members in groups are there to support you, but unfortunately, there can be trolls who can make your suffering worse. And even if there are members who are not technically trying to stir the pot, they can be rude if they disagree with you, which can upset you even more. The best thing to do in that situation is to notify the group’s admin and block them. In our QueenBeeing SPANily narcissistic abuse recovery support groups, our highly-skilled admin team (also survivors themselves) actively monitors our groups to prevent this as often as possible and actively removes people who violate our safety guidelines in order to keep you safe.
  • You are faced with too many reminders of the abuse you endured – At the beginning of your recovery, you might really need to read about the experiences of others as it can help to validate your own. But eventually, you might find that reading the experiences of others who endured narcissistic abuse and will become too much of a reminder for you. That can sometimes set you back in your recovery. The best thing to do in this situation is to limit the amount of time you spend in these groups. You can also check out the SPANily narcissistic abuse recovery support groups page, where you’ll find a variety of groups for each stage in recovery. This will help you to get the kind of support you need in whichever stage you’ve found yourself in – even if you’re past the abuse and ready to move forward with your new life.
  • You aren’t comfortable sharing your experiences with groups. There are some people who just prefer to avoid sharing their abuse story with a large group of people, and that’s totally okay. Everyone’s journey is different. If you are among those who would prefer to share and heal from your experiences with just one person, you might like to check out our narcissistic abuse recovery coaching page. If you’d prefer a smaller group, you should consider our small group-coaching program.

Before joining a narcissistic abuse recovery group, you will want to weigh the pros and cons and determine whether or not joining a support group is the best thing to do in your particular situation. In some cases, it may not be, which is why you want to think it through thoroughly before taking action.

Resources for Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Support

Helpful Reading for Narcissistic Abuse Survivors

C-PTSD, Coping With Stress, Emotional Numbness and Trust

C-PTSD, Coping With Stress, Emotional Numbness and Trust

Complex PTSD, what are some of the symptoms, what is it like and what helps cope with some of the symptoms when under daily stress?

Related video- https://youtu.be/TkkyLbWGSyI

Lise Colucci is one of the narcissistic abuse recovery life coaches at QueenBeeing.com. For info or to schedule a coaching appointment with Lise go to https://queenbeeing.com/lise-colucci-c

Join The QueenBeeing SPANily (Support for People Affected by Narcissistic abuse in toxic relationships) – AKA “The SPANily” – at https://queenbeeing.com/span.

Turning Negative Self-Talk Into Positive Action

Turning Negative Self-Talk Into Positive Action

How do you cope with your negative self-talk? Here I give a few examples of turning that negative focus into something positive. Comments or questions?

For information about Lise Colucci and how to schedule coaching, group coaching or to call in as a survivor on a future you can find her here https://queenbeeing.com/lise/

Let’s connect: Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/lise.colucci… Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/lisecolucci… Twitter: https://twitter.com/lise_coach

For group peer support, join SPAN (Support for People Affected by Narcissistic abuse in toxic relationships) – AKA “The SPANily” – at https://queenbeeing.com/span

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