What Are The Pros And Cons Of Joining A Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Support Group?

What Are The Pros And Cons Of Joining A Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Support Group?

So, you just went no contact with a narcissistic ex or narcissistic parent, and you are struggling with the trauma associated with the abuse you endured during the time you were in their presence. Maybe you’ve found a therapist, or you’re getting weekly narcissistic abuse recovery coaching, but you feel like need something more when it comes to getting the support you need so you can heal. Or maybe you can’t afford to pay for a therapist or coach, but you find yourself feeling very alone in the world and you just want someone who understands.

Any of these issues can be solved with one single step: you can join a free, online, confidential narcissistic abuse recovery support group.  But, when you’re working on building your support system in your own narcissistic abuse recovery, there are things you need to consider.

Beware of Predatory Groups

There are so many groups out there that are amazing and supportive. But there are those which are more predatory and money-focused, and they can actually do more harm than good for your recovery. This is exactly why it’s so important to be really careful when choosing your recovery support team. Sadly, there are people who claim to be advocating for abuse victims, but who are actually only out to make money. These people sometimes offer support systems that are not only not reliable, but that are often over-priced and which don’t work effectively.

This is often due to the fact that these people aren’t actually survivors, but business people who see our recovery from abuse as a potential cash-cow. Just remember: no matter how good the hype, not everyone who claims to want to help you is genuine. With that being said, the large majority of those who are sharing their experiences and creating support groups around narcissistic abuse recovery will often be very genuine in their efforts as they are survivors themselves.

Get Safe Online Support for Narcissistic Abuse Recovery

Here’s some good news. Here at QueenBeeing, we are survivors who do what we do to help our fellow survivors – and it’s why the majority of our services (including our online narcissistic abuse recovery support groups) are free. One of the best things about our ever-evolving technology is that you do not need to leave your home to attend any support group meeting. You can hop online to one from the comfort of your own home. This is especially helpful as our society is currently discouraging large in-person group meetings, but also for those who are still actively dealing with the abuse who may struggle to justify a meeting to an abuser. An online group offers you the ability to get support from the comfort of your home (or wherever you happen to be) on your own schedule.

And, sometimes, just being validated by a group can help you to see the truth about your life and can lead you to want to take action to change it – and that is what makes support not only appealing for survivors of narcissistic abuse but truly necessary.

Joining an Online Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Support Group: Pros and Cons to Consider

Should you join a support group for narcissistic abuse recovery? Let’s take a look at the pros and cons of joining one right now.

The Pros Of Joining A Support Group For Narcissistic Abuse Recovery

The idea of joining a narcissistic abuse recovery support group can be appealing and daunting. However, there are several advantages of doing so, and let’s talk about the pros right now:

  • You can have access to the group 24/7. If you are too busy with work or other duties during the day and don’t have the time to get the most of the groups in the evening, there is no worry about that. The access for you is there at any time of the day and the night. If you need to go into the group at 3 am even, it is there!
  • You can express the pain from the abuse you endured with the narcissist to people who get it –  You are in a group where others like yourself face trauma from having to endure narcissistic abuse. Those who are in the group understand, and by knowing that, you know that you have a safe place to express your pain, sorrow and talk about your trauma. That is because others there understand.
  • You can keep your private experiences private from the people in your “real life.” At least until you’re ready to share with them, by joining a narcissistic abuse recovery support group, you won’t have to worry about talking to a friend about heavy stuff. This might be because you worry they won’t understand where you’re coming from as they haven’t had similar experiences, or it might be that you worry they won’t believe you. And in some cases, you won’t want to share your experiences yet because you don’t even really understand them yourself.
  • You will receive empathy and support, and validation. In a narcissistic abuse recovery support group, you will receive the validation you need and support and empathy because, once again, those in the group understand where you are coming from. You won’t deal with toxic positivity or those who cannot empathize with you, making a world of difference with your recovery.

However, like with anything else, there are both pros and cons. Let’s talk about the cons when it comes to joining a narcissistic abuse recovery support group.

The Cons Of Joining An Abuse Recovery Support Group

You just read about the advantages of joining an abuse recovery support group. Let’s now talk about some of the disadvantages to keep in mind:

  • Some members can troll you – You know that most of the members in groups are there to support you, but unfortunately, there can be trolls who can make your suffering worse. And even if there are members who are not technically trying to stir the pot, they can be rude if they disagree with you, which can upset you even more. The best thing to do in that situation is to notify the group’s admin and block them. In our QueenBeeing SPANily narcissistic abuse recovery support groups, our highly-skilled admin team (also survivors themselves) actively monitors our groups to prevent this as often as possible and actively removes people who violate our safety guidelines in order to keep you safe.
  • You are faced with too many reminders of the abuse you endured – At the beginning of your recovery, you might really need to read about the experiences of others as it can help to validate your own. But eventually, you might find that reading the experiences of others who endured narcissistic abuse and will become too much of a reminder for you. That can sometimes set you back in your recovery. The best thing to do in this situation is to limit the amount of time you spend in these groups. You can also check out the SPANily narcissistic abuse recovery support groups page, where you’ll find a variety of groups for each stage in recovery. This will help you to get the kind of support you need in whichever stage you’ve found yourself in – even if you’re past the abuse and ready to move forward with your new life.
  • You aren’t comfortable sharing your experiences with groups. There are some people who just prefer to avoid sharing their abuse story with a large group of people, and that’s totally okay. Everyone’s journey is different. If you are among those who would prefer to share and heal from your experiences with just one person, you might like to check out our narcissistic abuse recovery coaching page. If you’d prefer a smaller group, you should consider our small group-coaching program.

Before joining a narcissistic abuse recovery group, you will want to weigh the pros and cons and determine whether or not joining a support group is the best thing to do in your particular situation. In some cases, it may not be, which is why you want to think it through thoroughly before taking action.

Resources for Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Support

Helpful Reading for Narcissistic Abuse Survivors

Closure After Narcissistic Abuse

Closure After Narcissistic Abuse

Is there any way to find closure after narcissistic abuse?

It seems that so many survivors of narcissistic abuse really struggle with fully healing trauma bonds and moving on with life because of the lack of a sense of closure. In this video I talk about this as well as several ideas and tips for finding closure for yourself without the need to contact, reach to to or even include the abusive narcissist. Struggling to let go and move on so that you can thrive is something most of us face while understanding and healing from  toxic emotional abuse. You are not alone if you feel the need for closure but can’t seem to find it.

What is it you need so that you will have a sense of closure? Is it really necessary to find that closure? If a narcissist can’t take accountability, can that closure be had? Would breaking no contact help? Do you need to forgive? Why is it so hard to let go and move on in life? These and many other questions were asked and replied to in the following video. What questions do you have and how are you finding closure for yourself?

Narcissistic Abuse Recovery by QueenBeeing.com offers free video coaching each week on Mondays, Tuesdays, Thursdays and Fridays along with videos and help on recovery from toxic relationships. Featuring certified life coach Lise Colucci and supported by QueenBeeing founder and certified life coach Angie Atkinson.

Lise Colucci is a certified life coach, as well as a certified narcissistic abuse recovery coach. She is a long-time admin and mentor for the SPAN Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Group, actively helping survivors of narcissistic abuse in the expansive community to learn and heal.  Lise is passionate about providing coaching services that help her clients feel heard and validated as she guides them along their healing journey. For information on coaching, group coaching or to contact Lise check out the links below.

Join our private coaching group https://lifemakeoveracademy.teachable…

Get one-on-one coaching with Lise Colucci at https://queenbeeing.com/lise-colucci-…

Get notified free for free video coaching sessions by texting LISELIVE to 33222. Find Lise on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/lise.colucci… Email Lise at [email protected]

Healing from Emotional Abuse

Healing from Emotional Abuse

“It is not the bruises on the body that hurt. It is the wounds of the heart and the scars on the mind.” ~Aisha Mirza

Emotional abuse, which may also be referred to as psychological abuse, is a pervasive and painful form of abuse that is often overlooked by even the victim. As difficult as it can be to detect, it can affect literally every part of a person’s life and can lead to other psychological and physical health issues.

While you might not see physical scars on a victim of emotional abuse, there are lifelong psychological scars that never go away. However, you can heal from emotional abuse if you do so intentionally, and there are a number of ways you can get help if you’re dealing with emotional abuse.

“There are far too many silent sufferers. Not because they don’t yearn to reach out, but because they’ve tried and found no one who cares.” ~Richelle E. Goodrich

What is Emotional Abuse?

Emotional abuse is a form of abuse in which a toxic person subjects or exposes you to repeated behavior that often results in long-term psychological trauma, including anxiety, chronic depression, or C-PTSD (complex post-traumatic stress disorder).

Emotional abuse is underestimated by most people, even sometimes its victims. However, it can cause mental and physical health issues that last a lifetime. Emotional abuse is used to control victims and can be inflicted in a variety of ways. Due to its pervasive nature, emotional abuse can be difficult to detect. The abuser’s goal is to slowly wear down the victim’s self-esteem in order to cause the victim to depend on them. This causes the victim to be vulnerable to being abused and controlled. It leads to the victim feeling like they’ll have nothing without the abuser, or they may simply feel trapped and unable to get away from the abuser.

This leads the abuser to develop a sort of power over the victim that leads to the victim developing a sort of “learned helplessness.” This might mean the victim is afraid to make some (or all) decisions without checking in with the abuser, or it could mean that they feel unable to do certain things themselves due to restrictions imposed on them by the abuser. For example, a victim might not go to the grocery store without getting a list or a budget from the abuser first, even if they run out of something important, for fear that the abuser will verbally attack them for doing so.

What are the signs of emotional abuse?

You might need support for healing from emotional abuse if you can identify with some or all of the following signs of emotional abuse. 

See more signs of emotional abuse in this video.

  • They accuse you of being jealous all the time.
  • They accuse you of cheating
  • They are possessive of your time and get angry when you’re not available at the exact moment they want you.
  • They cheat on you and then say it’s your fault they did it.
  • They control you with sex, by either withholding/denying or coercing you into doing things you aren’t really comfortable doing, and/or by forcing or pressuring you to have sex when you don’t want to
  • They control your social life, who your friends are and who you spend tie with, and/or what you do
  • They cut you down by saying things like you’re worthless or that you can never do anything right
  • They destroy your stuff
  • They do things and say things that make you cry or feel extreme anxiety
  • They give you the silent treatment
  • They have a certain look that scares you
  • They insult you and/or call you names
  • They isolate you and keep you from spending time with friends and/or other family members
  • They make you feel like you’re not allowed to leave your home alone, or at all.
  • They may threaten you with weapons.
  • They may verbally threaten to hurt you or your kids.
  • They might be jealous of your friendships or even relationships with your kids or other family members.
  • They might break stuff when they’re angry at you without regard for who it belongs to (and sometimes, it’s your stuff).
  • They might make all of your decisions for you and/or make you feel incapable of making a decision on your own
  • They might prevent you from going to work or school
  • They might try to make you drink alcohol or do drugs when you don’t want to.
  • They minimize any accomplishments you have, or they take credit for them
  • They monitor your location and need to know where you are every minute of every day.
  • They say you’re a bad parent and/or threaten to take your kids away from you if you don’t do what they want or behave how they require you to behave.
  • They seem to intentionally do things to incite jealousy in you.
  • They tear you down emotionally and seem to want you to feel bad about yourself
  • They tell you that you’re lucky to have them and that you’ll be alone and/or that no one else will ever love you if they leave you. And then threaten to do exactly that – directly or indirectly.
  • They tell you what to wear or how to look, or attempt to control your appearance in some way
  • They threaten (or actually) hurt your pets
  • They threaten you with violence, either directly or by implying it
  • They use gaslighting to manipulate you and control you
  • They will humiliate you in some way (publicly or otherwise)
  • They will take your money and/or refuse to give you money for things you need, like groceries and personal care items. They are controlling all of the household money.
  • They withhold affection and/or give you the silent treatment as punishment for breaking (often unspoken) rules.

Still unsure? Take our narcissistic abuse self-assessment test, right here.

How do you get help with healing from emotional abuse?

What are the steps you need to take to heal from emotional abuse?

The stages of healing from emotional abuse are as simple as they are overwhelming. You need to understand how to identify toxic people, and what abuse looks like. Plus, you need to work on building your self-confidence and release your codependence on the abuser. There are three primary stages in recovery. And don’t forget self-care.

How do you help someone you love who is being emotionally abused?

What if it isn’t YOU? Are you worried that someone you care about might be dealing with physical or emotional abuse at home? What can you do to help them, and how do you know for sure if they’re being abused? Read More: How do you help someone in an abusive relationship? 

More Resources for Victims of Emotional Abuse

Visit the QueenBeeing Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Resources & Support Page

If you’re in an emotionally abusive relationship, you might want to read one of these books.

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