We say the words, “DISCOVER, UNDERSTAND AND OVERCOME NARCISSISTIC ABUSE” often enough that many of you may be very familiar with that phrase. Let’s look a bit at how working the phases of trauma recovery after narcissistic abuse might look. Each of these phases can go on simultaneously because healing from abuse is in layers. Different discoveries, understandings and overcomings happen at different times. There will be times during your recovery where you will feel like you are going backward but please do not be discouraged, this is normal. Layers of healing and mountains of growth are what happens for anyone evolving out of toxic abuse into a thriving survivor.
What we discover in this phase is not only about narcissistic abuse but about how the abuse affects us as survivors. You may come to a lot of realizations as you discover the things about narcissistic behaviors that make it abuse, realizations about how you feel as a survivor of abuse and also that you are not alone. Validation of the way you feel and that what you experienced truly is abuse is what can help you in this phase to realize you truly are not alone. There is a lot of information being taken in when in the discovery phase, it can cause a bit of overwhelm as well. Keep at the discovery and things will become more and more clear as you enter into the next phase of understanding.
Understanding also can mean accepting that the toxic person truly is toxic. Seeing things as they are instead of how you wish they could be opens your mind to an understanding of the situation that helps you to break the trauma bonds and begin to recover. Understanding that this is not your fault can help you to gain more self-worth as well as be kind to yourself through the healing process. Understanding the abuse can help you to separate your own needs from those of the narcissist that you were groomed to emotionally “take care of” so that you can begin and continue to see the path to healing is in self-care, self- focus and letting go of the narcissist.
Finally, you get to overcome this abuse and thrive! This is not an overnight thing that just happens. Often there is a huge “ah-ha” moment in the understanding phase that leads to a giant perspective shift which then helps you let go of the abuser. Through the overcoming phase there can be a lot of grief, feelings of loss, feelings of not really knowing oneself as well as other not so comfortable things. If you feel this, it is totally normal and part of the healing. What can happen is self-discovery and a renewed focus on your own life and wellbeing. This is where the deepening of healing can take you to great places, to discover and do things that truly create a beautiful life and that get you on the path you choose to be on. Keep the hope up as you overcome narcissistic abuse, you always were enough, you always were and still are worth it!
Get personal support in your narcissistic abuse recovery.
If you are looking for an affordable way to get ongoing personalized support, as well as peer support and validation in a small group setting, join our private coaching group.
Breaking Trauma Bonds and Detaching Emotionally From a Narcissist
Are you trying to break trauma bonds and detach from the narcissist? If you think you may be trauma bonded know that you are not alone, weak, at fault and do deserve so much more. You deserve to feel and believe in the amazing person that you are as well as have others in your life that see and appreciate you. You can take steps to begin to heal and there is support out there to help you along the way. Gaining a higher sense of your own value can be one really amazing piece of healing that may be right on the other side of these trauma bonds. Are you ready to let go of the narcissist and gain freedom? Breaking trauma bonds is a critical part of healing and can be very complicated for a lot of survivors to both understand and heal from. The attached video below includes several tips for finding your way to detaching from a narcissist. The struggle is real and self focus can take you far in recovering from being trauma bonded, you got this!! If you are wanting more info on trauma bonds here’s a link to help you out https://youtu.be/kcoBI9MSdW0
Do you have any tips for others of things that helped you through this stage of healing? What questions do you have and what can I help you with in order to support your healing goals?
Narcissistic Abuse Recovery by QueenBeeing.com offers free video coaching each week on YouTube on Mondays, Tuesdays, Thursdays and Fridays along with videos and help on recovery from toxic relationships. Featuring certified life coach Lise Colucci and supported by QueenBeeing founder and certified life coach Angie Atkinson.
If you are looking for an affordable way to get ongoing personalized support as well as peer support and validation in a small group setting join our private coaching group https://lifemakeoveracademy.teachable…
What were were just fighting about? My point was never heard ! I can’t remember what it was I was talking about and now I feel like that whole thing was my fault. Familiar? You may have been handed a word salad by a narcissistic abuser. What are your thoughts or experiences? Leave a comment below, you never know who it may help.
Lise Colucci is one of the life coaches at QueenBeeing.
If you have been discarded by a narcissist or left a narcissist you may be having a lot of questions and feeling a lot of doubt. This video is for anyone who has experienced a narcissistic “break up” either by discard or if you chose to leave. This is a really hard change in a person’s life and any the support we can give to those going through it might just be the thing to help another person. Leave comments or words of encouragement below!! If you enjoy these live streams be sure to subscribe.