If you know what it’s like to experience narcissistic abuse, then you might understand the level of damage that narcissists can do. It is profound and life-altering – and not in a good way. Narcissists destroy you, but if you want to put yourself together again, you can absolutely do it – starting with focusing on understanding what happened to you. Your next (and most important step) is then moving forward into intentionally healing and embracing your true self. Let’s talk about it.
How do narcissists destroy you?
Narcissists are masters of manipulation and control, but the effects of being in a toxic relationship with someone affected by narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) are life-changing. The narcissist’s form of psychological and emotional abuse is so harmful that most survivors find it impossible to go back to the way things used to be after recovering from narcissistic abuse. Their trademark lack of empathy and compassion spills into every interaction with you.
Breaking Trauma Bonds and Detaching Emotionally From a Narcissist
Are you trying to break trauma bonds and detach from the narcissist? If you think you may be trauma bonded know that you are not alone, weak, at fault and do deserve so much more. You deserve to feel and believe in the amazing person that you are as well as have others in your life that see and appreciate you. You can take steps to begin to heal and there is support out there to help you along the way. Gaining a higher sense of your own value can be one really amazing piece of healing that may be right on the other side of these trauma bonds. Are you ready to let go of the narcissist and gain freedom? Breaking trauma bonds is a critical part of healing and can be very complicated for a lot of survivors to both understand and heal from. The attached video below includes several tips for finding your way to detaching from a narcissist. The struggle is real and self focus can take you far in recovering from being trauma bonded, you got this!! If you are wanting more info on trauma bonds here’s a link to help you out https://youtu.be/kcoBI9MSdW0
Do you have any tips for others of things that helped you through this stage of healing? What questions do you have and what can I help you with in order to support your healing goals?
Narcissistic Abuse Recovery by QueenBeeing.com offers free video coaching each week on YouTube on Mondays, Tuesdays, Thursdays and Fridays along with videos and help on recovery from toxic relationships. Featuring certified life coach Lise Colucci and supported by QueenBeeing founder and certified life coach Angie Atkinson.
If you are looking for an affordable way to get ongoing personalized support as well as peer support and validation in a small group setting join our private coaching group https://lifemakeoveracademy.teachable…
Whether you’re still working on a way to get out or you’ve already left, you’ve got a long road ahead of you when it comes to recovery. One of the biggest hurdles is sort of “reprogramming your brain” in order to let go of the poisonous thoughts and beliefs that the narc’s emotional and mental torture have almost certainly left behind.
When you were actively engaging with the narcissist, you probably eventually stopped trying to make choices of your own. That’s because by doing so, you may have found yourself the victim of added gaslighting and other kinds of covert abuse – maybe even less than covert.
But now that you’ve left, or are planning to leave, you’ve got to learn to choose your own path – and that can begin by simply deciding what you want and then taking the steps you want to get there – simple as that.
Still, when things don’t go your way, do you know how to deal? Can you cope with the hard times on your own?
Ask yourself this: When life isn’t going your way, do you empower yourself to make improvements?
Most people are great at getting themselves worked up into a state that’s anything but empowering, and when you’ve been abused by a narcissist, the effects of PTSD can become overwhelming. When things get challenging, we need all of our resources if we’re really going to turn things around.
1. Be assertive. Because we’ve been abused by these toxic people, many of us have become too passive to ever accomplish anything significant. I’ve learned the hard way that sometimes you have to declare what you want. Sometimes you have to say ‘no’ to others. You don’t have to be selfish, but there’s nothing wrong with making a decision and then making it happen.
4. Stop making excuses.Excuses limit you and prevent you from taking charge of the situation. If you can take responsibility, you can change the situation. Excuses give you a justification for being passive. If you believe that something is outside of your control, you also believe that you can’t do anything to change it.
5. Get more sleep. Most people simply don’t sleep enough to be at their best. Studies have shown that most people experience improved mood, clarity of thought, and increased energy if they increase their sleep by one hour per night. Turn off the TV and go to bed an hour earlier.
8. Forget about expectations. The whole world seems to tell us what we should be doing. What would you do if you were free of all of those expectations? Choose for yourself for a change.
9. Figure out what’s holding you back.Why aren’t you already living your life the way you choose? What’s preventing you? What are you afraid of? What can you do to work around these challenges? Develop a plan to get past this resistance.
Few things are as fulfilling as having full control over your life – and for survivors of narcissistic abuse, it can mean the difference between being happy and fulfilled and being completely destroyed.
Take back control of your life NOW! You’ll feel like there’s nothing you can’t do. The world is just sitting there, patiently waiting for you to take control of your life. Get started today by taking the first steps. A few steps each day become quite significant very quickly.