What a Relationship With a Narcissist is Really Like

What a Relationship With a Narcissist is Really Like

What is narcissistic abuse?

While not all abuse involves narcissists, in a large percentage of abuse cases, a narcissist is involved. Malignant narcissists are those who have little to no empathy for the people around them and who act from that perspective. That is: they don’t care how you or anyone else feels, and you can tell because of the way they treat the people around them. Narcissistic abuse involves subtle manipulation, pervasive control tactics, gaslighting, and emotional and psychological abuse.

Many narcissistic abusers might be diagnosed with narcissistic personality disorder – if they actually go to a psychologist for diagnosis, but this rarely happens as narcissists don’t feel that there’s anything with them. They may be overtly narcissistic, or they may be more of a covert narcissist. In either case, anyone in a close relationship with one of these toxic people will be used as a form of narcissistic supply and not treated like an actual person. Sadly, even the most intelligent and educated people can be manipulated and abused by a narcissist.

Narcissistic Abuse Awareness: This is What a Relationship With a Narcissist Is Like

Use this video to help friends and family members understand how it feels to be with a narcissist and what the psychology of these toxic relationships is really all about.

Here are a few more videos that might help – all focused on understanding the dynamics of narcissistic abuse in a toxic relationship.

Helpful Information for Narcissistic Abuse Recovery

It’s LAUNCH Day! Come Check Out Our New SPANily Home

It’s LAUNCH Day! Come Check Out Our New SPANily Home

YOU are invited to join us at this event! Come participate in our all-day event on Tuesday, May 15, 2018 from 10 a.m. CST to 7 p.m. CST. 

About our SPANily Home

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How the SPANily Home is Different

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SPECIAL Offer – Buy This Course & Get a Free 12-month Membership (Psst: the couse actually costs LESS than the membership for the year!)

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Why did we create this program? 

SPANily members have asked for a private coaching & connection forum that would be away from Facebook. And, if you ask me? With good reason.

Their concerns:

  • Their abusers had access to their accounts or could see their activity
  • Their families and friends were asking questions about their groups
  • They didn’t want to share anything on Facebook
  • They had left Facebook to hide from their abusers

Plus, as many people noted, they sometimes felt triggered by those who were in different levels of recovery. 

For example, one survivor who was still in the discovery phase (she had just recognized the abuse) was upset by another survivor who was in the evolution phase because it made her feel hopeless about her own situation.

And several survivors who were early in the overcoming phase or early in their efforts to go and stay no contact found themselves triggered by people who were still in the relationships and still posting about what they were going through with their abusers.

That caused people to ask for a way to only see the posts that were relevant to certain stages of recovery. 

Facebook didn’t give us a simple way to do that, so when we found a way to both create recovery level groups AND a way to make a completely private and secure home for the SPANily, we jumped at it!

Since this setup isn’t free, we are asking the SPANily to help us out with a very small investment of just $3.99 a month. This covers both the cost of the platform as well as our coaches to support you and staff to help keep everything in order.

Still, a lot of SPANily members said they didn’t want to pay for something they couldn’t try out – and I totally get that! So, I talked it over with my team, and we decided to give you a free one-week membership trial so you can get a feel for the platform and how it works.

If you decide that you don’t want to continue, you can just let us know and you won’t be charged. Sound good?

Go ahead and try it out! Visit MySPANily.com to see what we’re doing over there. Can’t wait to hear what you think! See you at the SPANily home!

Maybe You’re Just Too Weak to Make a Narcissist Love You

Maybe You’re Just Too Weak to Make a Narcissist Love You


Rant: Maybe You’re Just Too Weak to Make a Narcissist Love You – This video is in response to a viewer named Jilly who said in a recent comment that you need to be strong in order to make a narcissist love you and be happy in your relationship.

Discover. Understand. Overcome. It’s how smart people change their lives! Subscribe to my channel: right here.

On my YouTube channel, I offer free daily video coaching to help you discover, understand and overcome narcissistic abuse in toxic relationships! I like to call it toxic relationship rehab. If that sounds good to you, hit that subscribe button.

**LIVE EVERY MONDAY THROUGH FRIDAY! Never miss a live session! Just text “AngieLive” (no spaces) to 33222 and I’ll send you a text each time I get ready to go live!

Schedule a coaching appointment with me at http://narcissisticabuserecovery.online

Surviving the Narcissist’s Discard (Podcast)

Surviving the Narcissist’s Discard (Podcast)

Narcissistic Abuse Recovery: Discard and Divorce – Ending a relationship with a narcissist is never easy. If you are going through a divorce or a breakup after a narcissist discarded you, you need to know that you’re not alone, you’re not crazy and it isn’t your fault. Learn the difference between a narcissistic breakup and a “regular” one, find out what narcissists do after the discard and find out what you can do to start taking back your life in this podcast with certified life coach and author Angie Atkinson from QueenBeeing.com.

Coach Lise on Self-Care, Healing and Inner Dialogue

Coach Lise on Self-Care, Healing and Inner Dialogue

*Editor’s Note: Please help us welcome Lise Colucci to the QueenBeeing team!

I was feeling really run down and in low spirits today. It’s allergy season and it has begun to hit full force. Before I knew it, I was hit with a few personal setbacks that set off negative thinking.

As the dialogue in my head escalated from a mildly complaining tone to feeling defeated and undone, I realized this was a reality that I was creating for myself based on my beliefs in that moment.

I had fallen out of self-care. I ran right through self-preservation and sped through  “just making due”  before just totally giving up.

That realization woke me up; this is not the life I wish to have, I thought.

This attitude will serve nothing but to carry my burdens all the way to bed and likely into my dreams. Then what?

More of the same tomorrow? NO thank you.

What can we do when the world feels so heavy and difficult, so much so that our beliefs alter our inner worlds to match its gravity?

Observe, then restate the beliefs, that’s what! It took a good half hour to get into it, catching the sighs of bodily discomforts and restating the inner dialogue which came out of those sighs.

“I am so tired” needed to be restated, while respectfully validating the needs of my body.  “I can take a 10-minute rest and restore some energy“ became the new thought.

The phrases I heard myself thinking that felt full of weight and unhappiness such as, “I am alone and I have no help” needed another approach.

That one I could go at head-on by shifting my beliefs. I restated it to “I am capable. I also have friends and know I am not alone, if I need help I am able to ask.”

I realized that in that moment that no one could physically help – but certainly, a loving friend hearing me could lift my spirits and that alone can go far in restoring positive energy.

All I needed to do was ask for a listening ear. So I did, and it worked! The beliefs began to lighten up and I was able to restore positivity in my day.

During and after emotional abuse, it can get dark in our inner worlds. We lose the ease of joy and uplifted outlook on life and often feel hopeless, unwanted, alone.

Worse than that, the dialogue in our heads can become that of the abuser, telling we are wrong and unworthy. The same practice that I used above can be applied here, any time.  

We don’t need to force the beliefs to change.

The beliefs we hear ourselves think can be gently and incrementally restated to improve our self-worth and our outlooks – and to increase our joy. It can be done in a simple, honest way that allows you to believe in your worth and feel gratitude for many things in life.

Ask yourself:

Do you catch yourself believing things that are unkind toward yourself or are dragging down your day? Do you hear someone else’s words echoing in your mind reinforcing the abusive things you were told? What can you do, right now, to begin to create change in your very important belief system? 

Share your thoughts and ideas in the comments section, below. Let’s discuss it. 

Thanks for reading this post! My name is Lise Colucci and I am one of the certified life coaches at QueenBeeing. I am so happy to be given this opportunity to serve this community and honored to get the chance to witness others healing as they seek the amazing help that coaching can provide. I will be posting short articles on different topics that relate to narcissistic abuse, healing, self-care and more and I hope that you gain some comfort or deepen your own understanding through them. This article is a bit more personal than I normally write so that you can get a sense of how I work in my own life as well as the ways I use to problem-solve the healing process. 

Learn more about me here or schedule a one-on-one coaching session with me here

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