6 Ways to Curb Your Criticism of Yourself and Others

6 Ways to Curb Your Criticism of Yourself and Others

Have you ever been told that you’re too hard on yourself? What about toward others? No one appreciates negative criticism, even if you believe you’re being helpful. Believe it or not, your inner self doesn’t appreciate it when you criticize yourself, either.

Luckily, you can learn to have a more positive attitude toward yourself and others, and it isn’t as hard as you might think. With a simple action here and altering a habit there, you’ll soon find your outlook changing.

Try these strategies:

Give compliments. When you feel compelled to criticize or judge someone, use your willpower to say something nice instead.

  • You could even keep your compliment to yourself and simply think it. However, you’ll be surprised how much your relationships improve if you’re willing to speak your kindness aloud.
  • Think about your positive attributes for a few minutes each day. Catch yourself when you start to speak negatively to yourself. Say something positive instead.

Consider the difference between giving advice and being critical. Advice is helpful and has a positive intention. Criticism has a negative intent and isn’t helpful.

  • Think carefully – what are your true intentions? What are you honestly trying to accomplish?
  • Do you criticize yourself? Why? Imagine someone you cared about was in the same situation. What advice would you give them?

Start your day with a positive attitude. By getting your day off to a positive start, you’ll be less likely to be critical of yourself or others.

  • Consider what makes you feel Is it music? Reading inspirational quotes? Remembering your favorite vacation? Making a list of things that fill you with gratitude?
  • Start your day with positive thoughts and energy. Carry that feeling for as long as you can each day.

Spend more time thinking about what you want, rather than what you don’t want. Thinking about what you don’t want is addressing life from a negative perspective. Keep your thoughts focused on what you do want. Your mood will be lighter and you’ll treat yourself and others more kindly too.

Allow situations and people to be as they are. One of the easiest ways to make yourself unhappy is to believe that everything is supposed to be a certain way. You might believe that others should thank you for a compliment or offer you their seat on the bus, but they might not feel that way.

  • In reality, everyone views the world differently, and your views aren’t any more correct than anyone else’s. If you think that everyone else should automatically see things through your perspective, you’re likely to be critical and miserable.

Understand the situation. Ensure that you have a complete and accurate understanding before jumping to conclusions. The most critical people in the world are often operating with insufficient information. Before you say something negative, make an effort to get the whole story.

Perhaps the most important issue is self-esteem. Those that are critical of others often do so to make themselves feel more important, superior, or dominant.

It’s also possible you’re using criticism as a way of preventing others from getting too close to you.

Consider why you’re critical of others and yourself. The solution becomes more apparent if you correctly identify the cause.

If you have a tendency to be critical, you can enjoy your life more by making a positive change. Learn to be kind and patient. It just takes practice. Be kind to everyone you meet. Be kind and patient with yourself, too.

Before you know it, this behavior will become a habit and you’ll discover that you’ve acquired a new, positive outlook regarding yourself, others, and life itself.

Why Therapy Might Not Always Work for Narcissistic Abuse Recovery

Why Therapy Might Not Always Work for Narcissistic Abuse Recovery

Why therapy for narcissistic abuse isn’t effective and doesn’t always work. And why you should never go to couples therapy with a narcissist.

Therapists are often under-educated when it comes to narcissistic abuse recovery and toxic relationships with people with narcissistic personality disorder. It’s not that therapists are useless, it’s just that they don’t always know the depths of emotional abuse and how to recognize someone with narcissistic personality disorder. In most cases, when you consult psychologists on love, they are fairly accurate. But when it comes to finding a good narcissistic abuse therapist, it’s often easier said than done. And going to couples therapy with a narcissist will almost definitely set you up for victim-blaming. In this video, Dana Morningstar and Angie Atkinson discuss the possibilities and explain how to find the right therapist for you – whether you’re dealing with CPTSD, narcissistic abuse syndrome or any other complication of toxic relationships. With Dana Morningstar from Thrive After Abuse.

Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Therapist? Why traditional therapy for narcissistic abuse doesn’t work

This is How You Find the Strength to Go On After Narcissistic Abuse

This is How You Find the Strength to Go On After Narcissistic Abuse

Dealing with an a maligant’s manipulation in a relationship is so difficult. Yet for some reason, when it ends, we are devastated. We feel like our hearts are literally breaking.  It is an emotional pain so bottomless that it can feel like a physical blow. When you have a pain like this one, all you want is for the deep ache to go away. But how do you deal with feeling like you don’t have the strength to go on in the meantime?

Know that, despite the horrible pain you’re feeling right now, you can begin to heal the broken pieces of your heart. But how do you get through the most painful days during and after a relationship with an abusive narcissist? How do you find the strength to go on after narcissistic abuse, when you have been discarded (or even when you’ve left the narcissist yourself)? It can feel impossible, but there are ways you can heal and move forward toward creating the life you want and truly deserve. So where do you start?

This is how you find the strength to go on after narcissistic abuse.

Being involved with a malignant narcissist means you deal with regularly toxic behaviors, including narcissistic abuse and its various forms of manipulation, gaslighting, and in many cases, other forms of physical and psychological abuse. You lose the ability to even recognize yourself in so many ways – and you often even sort of forget who you are on an intrinsic level.

So often, survivors of narcissistic abuse find themselves feeling completely helpless after they are discarded by their abusers. So many have told me that they literally felt like they wanted to die – like they did not even want to keep going. It makes sense that you’d feel that way when you think about how cruel narcissists are to the people they claim to love.

Survivors often ask me questions like the following.

  • How do you find the strength to go on after breaking up with or divorcing a narcissist?
  • How do you get over a narcissist?
  • How do you find purpose in your life after narcissistic abuse?
  • What do you do in order to stop obsessing about the narcissist?
  • How do you get the narcissist to leave you alone?

Start the healing with these 4 Steps to Find the Strength to Move on After Narcissistic Abuse.

More videos to help you heal on this playlist!

How do you deal with a broken heart after narcissistic abuse?

Heartbreak is a pain like any other. It is an emotional pain so bottomless that it can feel like a physical blow. When you have a pain like this one, all you want is for the deep ache to go away. As much as I’d like to advise differently, there is no band-aid for a broken heart. Though it sounds cliché, time is the remedy needed for you to truly heal from such deep, wrenching pain. In time, this pain will go away. Between now and then, however, following a few basic tips might be able to make a difference in how you are feeling.

Following these sometimes difficult, but necessary steps, you can begin to heal the broken pieces of your heart. You can not only become whole again, you can become whatever you wish to become. This is a chance to start fresh, and once the pain starts to ease, you will see it as such an opportunity.

Do you need help and support in your narcissistic abuse recovery process?

How can you get support in your healing? Start with your friends and/or family members who may understand and be willing to support you. If you don’t have supportive or understanding people around you, which is often the case for survivors of narcissistic abuse due to the fact that narcissists have a tendency to isolate you, you may need to look at some other options. Here are a few to consider.

You might also find these videos helpful:

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Emotional Mastery for Happiness

Emotional Mastery for Happiness

Emotions control much of what happens throughout both our individual lives and in the world. Entire wars have begun as a result of human emotions. We make decisions about whether to get married or divorced based on our emotions. Ideas and inventions, passions, and hobbies are all driven by emotion, part of our internal drive to change the way we feel.

Emotional states affect our daily attitudes, thoughts, and behaviors. If we don’t take control of our emotional states, many other aspects of our lives will be out of control as well.

Mastering your emotional state is an essential element to achieving success, contentment, fulfillment, and happiness.

Learn how you can master your emotional states with the easy strategies in this guide.

Change Your Story

Everyone has one. Even you.

There are individual differences in what people decide to do with their story. What enables one person to experience personal trauma and tragedy and then decide to use it to their advantage in life, while that same situation makes another person feel like life is not worth living?

Some of the most incredible, happy people have experienced great personal tragedies.

On the flip side, people with every advantage in the world sometimes squander it and spend their days in addiction rehab centers as a result of drugs and/or alcohol.

What story are you telling yourself?

Ask yourself these questions:

  • Is the status quo in your life just the way it’s always been and there’s nothing that can change it?
  • Or, on the other hand, is there some way that you can you use your experiences to propel you forward toward greater success and happiness? How?

If your current story doesn’t serve you, then change it!

Beginning to change your story involves figuring out the meaning of events and issues in your life. It also means challenging the current story you have in your head and figuring out your life’s purpose.

Let your story encourage you to take action to make your dreams come true. When you’re living your life’s purpose, you’ll find greater contentment as you pursue your passions and arrange your life around what’s most important to you.

Practice Self-Awareness

Changing your story requires you to look back into your past. But what about the present? How do you control your emotions on a daily basis in your regular routines? For this part of your emotional mastery, practice self-awareness.

There are certain automatic thoughts that all people have that go a long way in dictating their emotional states.

For example, how do you feel when someone cuts you off on the highway? Do you allow yourself to become angry and upset? What about when you get a flat tire or you don’t get that promotion at work?

Use these strategies to become more self-aware and take charge of your thoughts:

  1. Notice what you’re thinking. Monitoring your automatic thoughts and becoming aware of when these thoughts begin is critical to begin changing them.
  2. Assign a different meaning to things that bring on negative thoughts.
    • For example, what does it mean when someone cuts you off on the highway?
    • Instead of being angry, one way you can think about it is by reminding yourself that not all drivers are courteous as you think they should be. Plus, realize that you don’t know their situation. Perhaps they have an emergency.
    • These new thoughts diffuse your anger so you can let it go and move on.

 When you control what’s going through your mind at any given moment, you’ve put yourself back in charge of your emotions.

Just as you can adjust your story to support you, by practicing self-awareness you can alter your current thoughts to support you, too!

Practice Gratefulness

Research has shown that gratitude goes a long way towards achieving a state of happiness. In fact, it’s hard not to be happy when you’re feeling grateful.

When you live in a state of gratitude, you’re also more likely to show prosocial, helping behaviors. Others tend to reciprocate such behaviors, and you end up with a circle of greater happiness for everyone involved!

You can practice gratefulness in many different ways.

Consider these methods:

  1. Spend five to ten minutes in quiet meditation and focus on the different things you’re grateful for in your life.
  2. Uplift someone. Another is by going out of your way each day to compliment or thank someone, without expecting any recognition in return.
  3. Help others. Spend time volunteering at food pantries or homeless shelters.

When we start taking small steps on a regular, daily basis to take control of our emotional states, we become more skilled in emotional fitness. Emotional fitness and awareness cultivates maturity, astuteness, and success, and can make a positive difference in your overall quality of life.

Top 25 Narcissistic Abuse Recovery FAQ

Top 25 Narcissistic Abuse Recovery FAQ


1. What is narcissistic personality disorder (NPD)?

2. What causes NPD? 

3. What are the characteristics or signs of a narcissist? 

4. Do narcissists sometimes have empathy?

5. Is it possible to change a narcissist?

6. Is narcissism a mental illness? 

7. What is narcissistic abuse? 

8. Can a narcissist ever change? 

9. Do narcissists love?

10. Can I love a narcissist? 

11. What is a narcissistic parent?

12. How do you heal from breaking up with or divorcing a narcissist?

13. How do you leave a narcissist? 

14. What is the best way to respond to a narcissist?

15. Are there more female or male narcissists?

16. What is gaslighting? 

17. What are flying monkeys? 

18. Why do narcissists cheat on you?

19. What is love bombing?

20. What is hoovering?

21. Will the narcissist come back after discard?

22. What is the narcissistic relationship cycle?

23. How can I get back at a narcissist? 

24. How can I move on after abuse?

25. Why is recovery from narcissistic abuse so difficult?

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