Healing the Inner Child After Narcissistic Abuse

Healing the Inner Child After Narcissistic Abuse

I’m not enough.

I don’t fit in.

I can’t seem to be heard, no one listens.

No one really knows me or wants to.

Nothing I do is right.

No one will love me, I’m unlovable.  

Who taught you these were truths? Why can’t you think differently even if you know they are not true? Why do you believe these limiting statements? How can you move past these beliefs? I’m sure you can see how gaining perspective and changing these beliefs could improve your life. Let’s talk about a few ways to understand and begin making that change. 

Your inner child is crying out to be loved and heard

Many survivors of emotional abuse experienced things in childhood that set belief patterns for their adult life that sound similar to the ones above. Your inner child, a part of your personality that still reacts and feels like the child you were, may be calling out to be validated and loved and when you do this for yourself you can begin to heal. If you were taught you are unlovable by people who can not love, logically you can see it is their shortcoming but a part of you still holds the feelings of being unlovable as your own truth. If you were taught you can only get acceptance for being perfect, even though now you know that’s impossible for anyone to do, you may still feel the “flaws” you have as reasons you don’t deserve love. These feelings may be locked into a part of yourself that relates to your inner child. Getting what you needed and still need is now a journey of self-care

How to find your inner child

There are a lot of ways to seek and experience your inner child. Many tips are unrelated to narcissistic abuse survival so I’ll give you one example of what survivors have told me over and over which helped them find their inner child. Tracing back the beliefs you have about yourself to childhood “programming” by adults in your life and then seeing how the child you were must have experienced that. Being raised by toxic parents, in particular, can lead to many beliefs about yourself that are limiting and even toxic to your healing. The child you were experiencing those beliefs as a reality. 

Ways to heal your inner child

Once you are able to identify what your inner child is, what can you do to help? Most survivors of toxic upbringings have something in common, they never felt validated or heard. Your inner child may really need to be heard and held. We often explain away to old hurts and never really take the time to quietly listen to the needs we had as a child.

Questions to Ask Your Inner Child

Asking yourself questions can give you ideas for how to help yourself.

  • What does this child need?
  • What is this child feeling?
  • What would the child like to have happen right now?
  • What is a source of comfort and safety for this child?

Once an answer to any of these questions arises, simply start giving your inner child what they need. Visualize yourself as a child and listen to all that child needs to tell you. Spend some time asking and giving to yourself in this way then affirm to the child within that you are there, always have been and always will be. Offer a safe adult to turn to when things hurt or get scary. Be that for yourself with intention and love. 

Write to Your Inner Child

Writing a letter or journaling to your inner child is another technique suggested and used by many people. This can give you a safe way to not only express what you need to say but to also receive words of kindness and nurturing directly from the person that knows what you need best – you. In being there for yourself in this way include words and phrases that you would tell a child who is experiencing the things you experienced. 

Treat your inner child with THIS kind of love

Consider what you would tell your own child or a child you know personally. What would you tell your own son or daughter who was in the kind of pain you once experienced? Tell that to yourself. Every time you hear negative self talk use the words you would give to your own child towards yourself. 

Check in with your inner child

Check-ins with your inner child when situations in life cause you pain or grief may also help you to honor and nurture your inner child. You may also find benefit by checking in with your inner child when you have successes as well. Talking to, writing to, or just thinking about the child within during times in your life where you feel a lot of emotion can help by adding validation both to your current situation as well as your past. 

Get therapy or coaching to heal your inner child

Seeking the help of a therapist can be another approach to doing inner child work. Having the therapist there to guide and help you with the issues that come up for many people is invaluable to their healing. Coaching with a narcissistic abuse recovery coach can offer ways to begin to question the beliefs set up in your childhood and to shift perspective on those beliefs. Some people combine both to really begin a self-discovery journey while healing from abuse. Finding a trauma-focused and knowledgeable person to help is highly recommended.

Get more information on inner child healing in this playlist.

Get personal support in your narcissistic abuse recovery.

 

Inner Transformation and Evolving Group coaching

Inner Transformation and Evolving Group coaching

Join Lise Colucci, certified life coach

Inner Transformation and Evolving group coaching 

Are you ready to thrive and would like some support as you continue to heal after a toxic relationship? Inner Transformation and Evolution group coaching can offer you that support to go beyond overcoming abuse. This coaching group is led by QueenBeeing life coach, Lise Colucci. The group meets weekly for 1 hour in video chat plus there is a messenger chat that Lise checks in with several times per day to help you get the extra support you may need as you go through your week. Topics we cover include boundaries, inner child, restating negative or limiting self-talk, reframing problems and areas that you might feel stuck in your healing, finding your life’s passion, setting goals, dating again, trust, love,triggers, finding your voice and so much more.

This is the third group in the Regaining Self series of group coaching packages. All three are repeated each month and may be joined as many times as you need.

Times and cost:

  • 4 weeks begin 11/7 or 11/9
  • Wednesdays at 6 pm or Fridays at 11 am Pacific
  • 60.00 for all 4 weeks  plus the messenger chat

Here is the link to sign up. Once signed up, you will be contacted by Lise about your choice in time.

If you have any questions you can contact Lise at [email protected] or for information on individual coaching click here.

 

Self-Reflection Focus Group Coaching

Self-Reflection Focus Group Coaching

Self-reflection focus group coaching is a third group coaching offering from one of QueenBeeing’s life coaches, Lise Colucci. The  focus of this group will be healing from the programming of narcissistic abuse and thriving.
This group coaching is for anyone looking to understand, uncover, work on topics such as codependent traits, inner-child healing,  changing limiting beliefs and much more. Self-reflection will improve your life and increase your ability to thrive. Join Lise as you work towards transformation and evolving.

If you feel that you may need to deepen self-care the Self-Care group coaching might be the place to start but if you are ready to begin the self-care supported healing that you may feel you need to create a thriving life then this may right for you.

Email Lise with any questions at [email protected]

Details:
One hour weekly video meetings on Wednesday 6pm or Friday 11 am Pacific
Begins October 9th
Cost: $60 (non refundable at this reduced group rate) for all 4 weeks .
This includes a private group messenger chat currently on Facebook for daily check-in if you need it as well as a printable journal and access to additional resources.

Here’s the link for details and to sign up!

 

 

Recovering From a Narcissistic Mother

Recovering From a Narcissistic Mother

Recovering from a Narcissistic Mother – Lise Colucci is back with survivor Sarah to discuss what it’s like to recover from a relationship with a narcissistic mother. Sarah talks alot about the programming the narcissist created in her and healing her inner child.
Lise offers narcissistic abuse recovery coaching at http://queebeeing.com/lise

Facebook:
https://www.facebook.com/lise.colucci…
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/lisecolucci…
Twitter:

For group peer support, join SPAN (Support for People Affected by Narcissistic abuse in toxic relationships) – AKA “The SPANily” – at https://queenbeeing.com/span

Heal Your Inner Child and Trust Yourself More: Plus Free PDF

Heal Your Inner Child and Trust Yourself More: Plus Free PDF

Do you find that you struggle with trusting yourself again after narcissistic abuse? You might need to work on inner child healing. Today, I’ll share several tips for reconnecting with your inner child and learning to trust yourself again after narcissistic abuse in a toxic relationship.

Get regular help with narcissistic abuse recovery when you subscribe to my narcissistic abuse recovery channel. Be sure to hit the bell notification to be notified about new videos as I post them and to be notified of live streams in realtime. 

How to Trust Yourself Again After Narcissistic Abuse – Inner Child Healing Tips 

I’m going to share a quick fable with you – something that might help with your inner child healing after narcissistic abuse – and that will encourage you to be okay with who you truly are – and to begin to proudly walk your OWN path!

For most people, embracing your true self and walking your own divinely inspired path can lead to unimaginable success.
While the journey is different for everyone in narcissistic abuse recovery, take comfort in the fact that you’re not alone – and that you can get support for free in one of our narcissistic abuse recovery support groups.

There are very few feelings better than knowing you act according to your inner beliefs. You HAVE to be your TRUE SELF if you’re ever going to be happy.

And that starts with trusting yourself – trusting your intuition. Do you trust your gut? Watch this video, and then hit the comments section and tell me what you think – and what your experiences have been! Let’s discuss it.

Download your PDF of this story and the lesson, right here.

The-Sure-Minded-Swallow-Fable-3

Here are the Self-Reflection Questions from the video:
1. How do I avoid giving in to unwanted pressure from others without hurting their feelings?
2. How important to my self-esteem is standing up for myself?
3. How do I develop unconditional commitment when I lack confidence in my decisions?

Get my books at http://booksangiewrote.com, schedule a narcissistic abuse recovery coaching appointment with me, or check out the resources for survivors at NarcissisticAbuseRecovery.Online.

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