Between work, home, and social responsibilities, life can be SO hectic! And going through narcissistic abuse recovery, do you often feel that all your time is spent taking care of others? Neglecting self-care is easy in a busy world, but the consequences can be serious. Adding self-care practices to your daily routine can greatly strengthen your health and well-being.
Plus, experts share that the happiest and most successful people regularly focus on self-care!
Try these simple self-care strategies today:
1. Block out time for self-care in your schedule. It’s not enough to occasionally stop your busy lifestyle and take a walk or indulge in a hot bath. Self-care is an ongoing process. Just as you reserve time in your schedule for other appointments, set aside time to take care of yourself, too. It’s important to adopt self-care habits that you can enjoy on a regular basis. They’ll help you avoid burnout, increase your productivity, and allow you to enjoy life.
2. Enjoy your favorite hobby. Whether you love to experiment with new recipes in the kitchen or paint pictures of sunsets, your favorite hobbies can be part of self-care. Hobbies and activities that you already enjoy are easy to select and put into practice. You just have to find room in your schedule to do them. This is an important step and shows your commitment to self-care.
3. Make note of the compliments you receive. You can enjoy this self-care practice even as you work or run errands! Start taking notes of the compliments you receive. You can keep them in a journal, diary, or online folder. Your compliment folder can also include emails, notes, thank you cards, and other things that make you smile. This self-care practice can help you fight negative thoughts. Compliments can serve as reminders that you matter, your existence is important, and someone appreciates you.
4. Remove clutter. Whether you decide to declutter your closet or clean out the fridge, removing clutter will uplift you. Clutter can drain you physically and mentally. It can also make you unhappy as you try to move through your day. Eliminate the things that no longer serve you. For example, if you’re keeping clothes in your closet that you hate each time you open the door, replace them with clothes that you love.
5. Do one selfish act. Living selfishly all day isn’t recommended, but doing one selfish act that makes you happy can do wonders. You can enjoy just that one thing without feeling guilty about it! If you struggle with self-care, it’s often because you spend all of your energy and time taking care of others. There’s nothing left in your well for yourself. By taking the time to do one selfish act, such as reading your favorite book or ignoring a boring phone call, you’ll be restoring your own importance.
Self-care often takes a backseat to work, family, and other obligations. However, without stopping to take care of your mind and body, you’re at risk of burning out and suffering from serious health issues. Start making time for your self-care practices today!
Are you truly happy? Can you say that you LOVE your life? Is there anything you’d like to change, or something you think you NEED to change in order to be truly happy?
Do you believe that you deserve to be truly fulfilled and ecstatic about your life? The truth is that finding happiness is the right of every human being alive, and you’re no exception.
What would you say if I told you that you could find your personal bliss, starting right now, without a doubt?
If I guaranteed you that if you tried these methods, you could find true happiness within 24 hours?
Or how about if I told you that you could do it instantly?
Good news – you can, and it’s so easy. This book will help you do just that!
How would you like to learn how to make little tiny, daily choices that will transform your life?
Are you looking to find your personal inspiration, or maybe to rediscover your motivation to create the life you really deserve?
Do you feel like your life just isn’t worth talking about?
Good news! You don’t have to sit around and be unfulfilled! The life you really want is just around the corner.
This comprehensive, step-by-step guide is also a toolkit that will teach you how to:
Feel happier each day, starting today!
Set goals and stick with them – without killing yourself in the process!
Take daily baby-steps toward your ultimate goals and happiness.
Stay motivated, focused and balanced before, during and after you meet those goals.
Figure out your passion, how it fits into your life and celebrate yourself and your personal success.
Live the life you really want, starting today.
If you’re ready to be happier, more motivated and inspired – and to live an amazing and fulfilling life, this is the book you’ve been looking for!
Don’t delay – start your transformation TODAY. The fact is that you simply deserve this – and you owe it to yourself do something good for yourself. You have nothing to lose and everything to gain – so take action and download this life-changing book right now!
Still not sure? Don’t miss this! Inside this book, you’ll get the following tools, tips and life hacks:
Get Started: 14 Steps to Make Personal Mission Statements Work for You
Happy, Healthy You: 7 Ways to Make Sure Your Mental Health is On Track
What It Takes to Be Happy: 3 Theories
6 Places Negative Energy Hides (and How to Release It)
6 Steps to Finding Your Purpose in Life
How to CREATE YOUR OWN LAUNDRY LIST
5 Ways to GET CONTROL OF YOUR THOUGHTS
Staying on Track: 5 Excuses That Derail Success
8 New STRATEGIES for a Totally Satisfying Life
You Are Who You Chill With: 7 TIps to Help You Control Who You Spend Time With
You Are What You Eat: Top 12 Mood- Boosting, Budget Friendly Foods
Good Morning Beautiful: The 8-Step, 20-Minute Routine to Jump-Start Your Happiness Every Day
Skip the Struggle: 8 Steps to Happy, Hassle-Free Days
When All Else Fails: 7 Keys to Overcoming Adversity
PLUS: SPECIAL BONUS SECTION: 10 Questions That Will Change Your Life
*Fair Warning: You need to know that while this information can be useful, there’s such a thing as karma – and maybe you don’t want to do this. The fact is that two wrongs don’t make a right. With that being said, I get it – sometimes, you just want to make a narcissist feel the way he or she makes YOU feel – to give him a taste of his own medicine. Maybe that’s because you think it’ll help him get a sense of empathy – but it won’t, at least not for long. However, it WILL cause him to be under your control for a period of time, so if that’s what you want, you’re in the right place. PLEASE NOTE: If there is physical abus of any type in your relationship, none of this article applies to your situation and you should be working on getting out as quickly as possible – check out this page for some resources to help you.
How to Torture a Narcissist in 10 Steps
So, if you want to torture, torment, and control a narcissist, here’s what you do.
1. Look as physically attractive as possible, at all times.
Narcissists NEED to feel like they’ve got something everyone else wants – so you’ve got to make yourself look desirable to them. Be aware that even if you look absolutely perfect, they will claim that you’re not attractive, or they’ll say that they don’t like what you’re wearing.
Alternatively, they’ll ask who you’re dressing up for and potentially discuss your morals and “loose” sexual behavior. That’s okay.
This is just the narcissist’s way of trying to take you down a notch or two so you might lose your confidence and think you can’t do better – because quite honestly, the idea that you will leave them is torturing them already – even if they repeatedly tell you they don’t want you and wish you’d just leave already, or they threaten to end the relationship.
Remember: narcissists, like most humans, have a serious fear of abandonment – and this is true regardless of whether they have another source of narcissistic supply on the hook already.
Keep this in mind and don’t let them get to you. Just smile or keep a straight face and do not let on that you’re on to their game. This, along with the following tips, will surely make the narcissist obsessed with you.
2. Be extremely sure of yourself.
If the narcissist calls you conceited, you reply with something like, “Conceited? No way! I’m just convinced – have you seen the statistics?”
This is right on their level – they’ll “get” it and it’ll make them want you more because they secretly wish they could be that way. Remember that the narcissist has been working on destroying your self-esteem for a long time now.
Not only does this prevent you from thinking you can do better than them, but it also leads to the narcissist having more control over you and your life.
So keep it in mind as you go forward and remember that probably 99 percent of the things the narcissist says about you are completely wrong – or at the very least, extremely exaggerated. You, as it turns out, are probably pretty amazing – and the narcissist knows it.
That’s why they keep playing this little game – they’re afraid you’ll find out too.
3. Never say “I love you too.”
It’ll keep them wondering! And it’ll keep them chasing you relentlessly. (Like children, narcissists always want what they can’t have!) Remember that part of what the narcissist needs from you is narcissistic supply.
This includes your emotional energy in whatever way they can get it – and they certainly need to know that you love them at any given moment.
So, if they say they love you and wait for a response, you can just smile or say nothing – or if you must say something, you can say, “Me too.” Or, if you’re really brave, you can say, “I know” or, ” thank you.”
4. Keep a certain amount of distance between the two of you.
And never commit to anything, ever. Don’t let the narcissist physically or emotionally get close to you – and push them out of your inner circle, even if you do so subtly.
Putting a little bit of emotional (and if possible, physical) distance between you and the narcissist will certainly twist their brains a bit – they won’t know how to react when you stop asking, “how high?” when they tell you to jump.
Stop allowing the narcissist to dominate and dictate what you do all day. Start making choices for yourself again and do so without apology.
They won’t even know what to do when you put up that little barrier. They won’t recognize it at first. But they’ll realize something is off – and they will definitely not like that.
5. Be flirty and aloof.
And if you’re ever accused of flirting with someone else, make sure that you quickly turn it around to make the narcissist seem crazy. This is exactly what they’re doing to you during gaslighting – so why not return the favor?
Be prepared for retaliation that you might not like – such as even more blatant flirting with another person or even cheating on you.
How? So easy – just politely and underhandedly point out their imperfections – i.e. “it’s so great that you’re so comfortable with your appearance – I wouldn’t be so confident if my eyes were so far apart, etc.” or “wow, your face would be totally perfect if only your nose weren’t quite so crooked.”
*Note – the “imperfection” doesn’t even need to be real – because the narc will obsess about even perceived imperfections and constantly seek your approval.
One more example of this tactic: “I love how you will go out in public looking like shit without even caring – how do you manage to find the confidence even carrying around those extra pounds? You are so OWNING it!”
7. Be way too busy for them all the time.
Stop dropping whatever you’re doing when they demand your time and attention. You are not their little plaything – you’re a whole separate person who has their own interests and things to do. It’s time you remember that now.
If you’re trying to torture the narcissist, you have to stop making their manipulation easier for them – make them work for your time and attention. Narcissists expect you to drop whatever you’re doing when they want your attention, but they can’t be bothered to do the same. If you want to drive a narcissist crazy, stop being available to them.
Suddenly pick up a new hobby, or a part-time job, or make some new friends. Or PRETEND to do those things, even.
Because the truth is that not allowing the narcissist to run your schedule is one step closer to your own freedom – and as long as they’re not physically abusing you, you can get away with ignoring their little fits.
Do you know how narcissists have this way of blowing everything out of proportion? Yeah. But here’s the thing – they cannot tolerate it when anyone else does this. Not only does it steal their spotlight, but it also causes them to have to focus on you – even if it’s just to figure out how to get the focus back on them. So start overreacting and getting way too emotional about the little things.
IMPORTANT: Whatever you get upset about must either directly involve them (as in, you have to get upset AT THEM), or it must be at someone that affects them such as their family member, best friend, or anyone else they would feel they need to either defend or argue with you about.
Get DRAMATIC! Be unapologetic when you overreact to something small – and let the narcissist know that it’s not your fault – you don’t know how to deal with your feelings because you just have never felt enough about anyone else to actually feel ANYTHING, let alone enough to freak out. (The idea here is that they’ll think this makes them special – that they can evoke such emotion in you, and they’ll want to control you – that’s the closest thing a narcissist ever feels to love).
The narcissist absolutely will freak out on you, but to keep their anger at bay, you have to (appear to) be over-the-top furious and to the point that even their bad behavior doesn’t (appear to) scare you.
You might notice the slightest smile touches their face when you do this. That’s because they’ll be fascinated in a weird grotesque kind of way – but also a little scared. I wouldn’t judge you if you decided to savor that moment a little bit.
Just remember: If you do this, it’ll be bad for your karma – but it might feel good for a moment. While it might be very tempting to manipulate and control a narcissist, the truth is that it’s only going to be a band-aid – the giant empty spot in a narcissist’s soul is unfillable.