Feeling Fraudulent

Feeling Fraudulent

fraud

Fraudulent – that’s how I feel sometimes when people ask me how I’ve lost any sort of weight. It’s not that I’m not telling them the truth or that I am being dishonest, it’s just that the story is so involved.

Generally when people ask me about it, it’s after I’ve been to the gym and I’m standing there all aubergine in the face, sweat beads glistening drenched in sweat, and so pumped up on endorphins that I have a perma-grin nailed to my face.

I usually say what I’m doing right now, right this very moment of my life. I tell about my weekly routine but I feel like I’m shortchanging them somehow. I feel like I make it seem simple and that it’s just something I up and did one day, no prep work, no negativity, no failures – just that a gym opened in my office and “poof” I was there.

That’s of course not how it happened at all. Or did it? I mean, yes, the gym opened in my office and the very first day I was down there introducing myself to the trainers and setting up a meeting for my team to see all the shiny new equipment but is that really my story?

Unless asked, I tend to leave out the part where I had cognitive behavior therapy to deal with some serious food issues – binging, hiding food, shaming myself. I had issues that no book, website or friend could help me with. I needed the pros!

I leave out the eight month time span where I was in such a dark, anti-social place that I stopped eating lunch with my colleagues, people who I really liked, and spent my lunch hours in the office sandwich shop, table at the window, back to the world, nose in a book – any book. I even read crappy books just to not have to make eye contact. I may as well have draped a “do not disturb” sign down my back, as if it weren’t obvious enough.

Thoughts screamed in my head but I looked peaceful.

I feel like a fraud because what in the hell do I really know? Yeah, I’ve lost some weight and kept it off for the past two years. Yes, I am in the best physical shape I’ve been in for a very long time. Yes, my head feels like it is on straight for the first time in my adult life. Sure, I’m really happy with what is happening right now. I feel like I have unlocked the door to a healthy future for myself and I feel like I will never turn back.

But what does all of that even mean to somebody else?

Do I have all of the answers? Not hardly! Do I still struggle? Hell yeah! Am I at my goal weight or perfect weight or even close? Nope. So who am I to say anything?

I’ll tell you who I am.

I’m somebody who likes to share just in case there is some part of me or my story people can connect with.

I’m somebody who likes to help, if I can, even if I am not perfect.

I’m somebody who likes everybody to partake and feel part of the team. I don’t like to see somebody to sit on the sidelines because of their insecurities when in their heart they want to be in the thick of it all.

I’m somebody who gets real joy out of seeing other people succeed.

That’s who I am.  And now you know. And now, I do too.

Ten Reasons Most of Us Can Be Thankful Today

Ten Reasons Most of Us Can Be Thankful Today

Gratitude is an important part of manifesting our desires, and when the going gets tough, many of us forget to express our gratitude for the good things in our lives.

Instead, we tend to focus on the tough stuff–and attract more of it into our lives (instead of the things we really want.)

Simply put, the best way to bring more good into your life is to be happy and grateful for the good things you’ve already got.

So, when you feel like nothing is going your way, take a moment to think about the things that are working in your life–the good stuff.

Ten Reasons You Can Be Grateful Today

1. You woke up this morning. You have been given the gift of another day of life.
2. You have a place to live and a silverware drawer. (Read more about my philosophy on the silverware drawer here.)
3. You can move your body and get from point A to point B.
4. You have a family–whether a biological/adopted family or good friends.
5. You can read.
6. You get to decide how you feel today.
7. You can write your own story.
8. You have clothes to wear.
9. You have food to eat.
10. You have access to a computer.

There we have it–ten simple things that you and I can be grateful for today!

So tell me…what are YOU grateful for on this beautiful day? Share your thoughts in the comments section, below!

Ten Reasons Most of Us Can Be Thankful Today

Bliss Mission: Be Resourceful and Resilient

imagesToday’s Affirmations

Today, I am resourceful and resilient.

I am thankful for all of the experiences in my life. Whether I view them as positive or negative, each one offers opportunities for learning.

Whatever today brings, I am confident that my resourcefulness and resilience can see me through it.

In challenging situations, I am reminded of my own strengths. I bring so much to the table. Whatever is asked of me, I can find a way to accomplish. And if I discover that I have challenges achieving my goals, I stand back and get a clearer picture of who I am and what I can do. I am thankful for all of these opportunities to grow.

My focus on learning enables me to be enormously resilient. I know that I can make it through any situation that comes my way. After all, I am a survivor of every circumstance in my life so far and I learn from each of them. So today also, I trust that I am resilient.

Often, what I gain from challenging circumstances is a bigger picture of the resources available to me. I always have the support I need to accomplish whatever I desire. These resources can abound in the most unlikely-seeming places. But I can find them, no matter what.

Today, I trust that I have the means necessary to get through and grow from any situation. I am thankful for each learning opportunity that comes my way. And I intentionally cultivate my resourcefulness and resilience by consciously engaging with challenges in my life.

Self-Reflection Questions:

1. What sorts of resources might I use in addressing the most challenging situation in my life today?
2. Can I name three major situations in the past year or two in which I demonstrated resilience?
3. Did these situations strengthen my resilience even more?

Ten Reasons Most of Us Can Be Thankful Today

Bliss Mission: Strengthen Your Relationships

Chris Pirillo and Ponzi @ Gnomedex 2005Today’s Affirmations

I learn lessons in love that help to make my relationship stronger.

I believe in love and the stirring emotions that I feel when I encounter someone whom I can call my soul mate. I realize that such a relationship is rare, so I carefully nurture it to allow those feelings to grow deeper and stronger, fortifying our bond of love.

I acknowledge that no relationship is perfect, yet everything that happens in my relationship has a lesson attached to it. I take advantage of these lessons in love to build a more positive relationship each day.

When I have an argument with my partner, I always endeavor to reach a point of forgiveness in a short time. I initiate discussions on the issue so we can find a resolution. This approach makes it easier for us to relate more positively going forward.

Whenever I make the mistake of doing or saying something hurtful to my partner, I immediately acknowledge the negative effect on their well-being.

I take a step back and revisit my actions. I put myself in my partner’s shoes and realize the impact. Then, I sincerely apologize.

Today, I take the time to learn from love so our love can keep growing. I commit to learning each day from my relationship and embrace the fact that every effort made to build a better relationship results in a stronger love.

Self-Reflection Questions:

1. Do I strive to strengthen my relationship?
2. How can I avoid saying or doing hurtful things to my partner?
3. Do I make it a point to apply the lessons learned in love to fortify our bond?

Ten Reasons Most of Us Can Be Thankful Today

Bliss Mission: Create a Mental Blueprint of Who You Want to Be

Blueprint Education materials

 Today’s Affirmations

I study my behaviors to make myself better.

Having intimate knowledge of myself facilitates my efforts at self-improvement. Knowing who I am allows me to see my shortcomings and enables me to work at lessening or eliminating them.

I have a mental blueprint of the person I want to be.

I take the time to reflect on my words and actions and determine if those behaviors exemplify this person. I look at that blueprint each day and take the necessary steps to match my actions with it.

I acknowledge that sometimes I simply react instead of thinking first. I get so worked up by others or unpleasant life situations that my feelings overshadow my goal.

I am a conscious being. I am instantly aware when I disappoint myself by giving into negative emotions. When that happens, I take steps to renew my focus. I realign my actions with my blueprint and all is well with my world once again.

Today, I vow to remain aware of the person I want to be. I commit to carefully assessing my actions to ensure they are aligned with my behavioral goals. I desire to be a better person and acknowledge that there is always room for improvement.

Today’s Self-Reflection Questions:

1. Do I listen to the feedback from others about my behaviors?
2. Is there room for improvement where my behaviors are concerned?
3. How many times do I allow myself to make the same mistake?

 

 

Pin It on Pinterest