Is your mother someone who always seemed to make everything about herself, on one level or another? Did she make you feel not good enough? Did she pit you against your siblings, if you had any? Did she ever seem to try to live her own dreams out in your life? Did she ever seem oddly jealous of you, or did she ever act inappropriately around your friends? These are just a few of the many signs that your mother might be toxic.
What is a toxic mother?
A toxic mother is one who is neglectful, controlling, abusive, or otherwise toxic to her children. This behavior is likely to continue into adulthood as long as the adult child allows it. If you have a toxic mother, chances are she often might make you feel bad about yourself or your life. She will also use you as a source of narcissistic supply and attempt to control and manipulate you to get what she wants, or to get you to surrender to her wishes. You’ll often feel like you’re walking on eggshells with her, especially when she feels upset or offended (or when you know she might, based on previous experiences with her).
An adult’s relationship with their toxic mother will also generally involve more negativity than positivity, and it doesn’t emotionally support the adult child emotionally. In many cases, the adult child of a narcissistic mother might feel responsible for their mother’s emotions. The relationship will often also involve resentment, contempt, communication problems, and varying forms of physical, emotional, and psychological abuse delivered in varying iterations over the course of the adult child’s life.
Self-Assessment: The Toxic Mother Test
If any of these signs sound familiar to you, or you’ve just been wondering whether your own mother is toxic, take this quick self-assessment test to find out if your mother could be toxic. If the self-assessment finds your mother to be toxic, you’ll be directed to a list of resources for support, including a lot of free and helpful videos, articles, and information and a free support group for adult children of narcissists, among other resources.