Patience isn’t just an old GNR song: Letting go of ‘Insta-Stress’

Patience isn’t just an old GNR song: Letting go of ‘Insta-Stress’

“Sometimes I get so tense
But I can’t speed up the time
But you know, love
There’s one more thing to consider

Said, woman, take it slow
And things will be just fine
You and I’ll just use a little patience
Said, sugar, take the time
‘Cause the lights are shining bright
You and I’ve got what it takes
To make it, We won’t fake it,
I’ll never break it”
’cause I can’t take it” ~Guns ‘n Roses

So much of the technology we have in our homes, in our offices, our cars and even our bodies is designed to make our lives easier, and often it does – but it also allows us to do more than ever before. 

Sure, it can be convenient and we all know that having a phone has saved our butts on more than one occasion. Plus, your smartphone allows you not only a continuous connection to everyone you’ve ever known, but also a companion to entertain you in waiting rooms, distract you in uncomfortable conversations and generally keep you informed on what’s happening. 

So yeah, from fast food to instant contact via email and Smartphones, we are surrounded with products and services that provide instant gratification.

While there are plenty of good things about this, the drawback to all of this instant service is that it can lead to unrealistic expectations for ourselves and others and destroys our capacity for patience. 

I like to call this phenomenon “Insta-Stress.” Not only is it bad for your soul, but it’s bad for your physical health too. Take a look at the diagram below from Wikipedia to see a quick overview of some of the health effects it can have on you. 

Stress_2What is Insta-Stress? And how can you get rid of it? 

We all know how frustrating it can feel when we have to wait – for anything. Traffic, long lines at the bank or pharmacy – even our own family members who just won’t hurry up.

Over time, this frustration causes our stress levels to build and can lead to a short temper along with increased blood pressure. This can lead to even more health complications that none of us want. So what do we do? How can we avoid (or at least reduce) stress? 

Here are a few of my favorite ways to increase peace, decrease stress and feel better when something’s got me hot under the collar. 

Take a step back. The next time that you feel frustrated over a delay or other situation, try taking a step back and looking at the issue from a different angle.

Stewing over the circumstances isn’t helpful to anyone. Focusing on finding a solution helps your brain change gears so that you feel less stressed. It’s also easier to remain patient when you believe that a resolution is on the horizon.

Obstacles come in many forms, from physical circumstances that prevent us from moving forward to intangible circumstances and external influences that can cause delays. Regardless of the circumstances, try looking at all aspects of the situation in order to find a solution that helps you get past the obstacle.

Focus on what you’ve achieved. Many of us naturally begin to feel impatient if we’re making slow progress towards our goals. Rather than thinking about what you haven’t accomplished so far and how far you have to go, focus on the progress that you have made.

  • Stay motivated and build your patience by celebrating small victories as you work toward the fulfillment of your goal.
  • Take a few deep breaths when you find yourself feeling anxious about your slow progress.
  • Gentle exercises that focus on stretching and breathing, such as yoga and meditation, can also help you to remain calm and patient as you work towards a goal.

Set realistic expectations. Sometimes we become impatient with ourselves and others because we have unrealistic expectations. The next time you start to stress over a delay or other obstacle, try to be more flexible with your schedule and expectations. Consider a range of results or behaviors that would be acceptable to you.

Identify your triggers and develop a plan to remain calm. Everyone has certain triggers – people, places, or things – that make them feel impatient and stressed. Figure out your most common triggers and think of ways that would help you successfully cope with them.

Laughter is the best medicine. Learn to laugh at little delays and frustrations. Make up a joke about some aspect of the situation and enjoy a chuckle. You’ll feel your stress begin to melt away.

As you use these tips to build your patience and reduce your stress, you’ll learn how to pick your battles wisely and maintain your self-control in the face of delays.

Happiness Is…

Happiness Is…

3 Fun and Easy Ways to Meditate with Kids

3 Fun and Easy Ways to Meditate with Kids

By Roberta Smith

1. Gibberish Meditation – The origins of the Gibberish meditation can be traced to Gabar, a wonderful Christian mystic, introduced this meditation technique which later came to be known as Gibberish. It is said that people would come to Gabar with all kinds of questions about enlightenment and he would simply answer with nonsensical sounds. He just talked nonsense, a constant stream of sounds and words with no commas or periods, no sentence structure. People realized that just by sitting near him, listening to his gibberish, their minds became more and more silent.

This is an amazing meditation as it can be done alone or with people. It’s a great way to spend time with your kids and also a great way to get your kids to release pent up emotions. Making a game out of it is really simple.

All you need to do is start making nonsense sounds and using nonsense words. Here’s an example.

el ol pol kol mol dol la ma pa da ka so lo mo po do eeh ooh poo doo koo moo….

It’s good to start for about 5 minutes first and build up to 20 minutes. After just lie down and be silent. The feeling after is quite simple amazing. Gibberish gets rid of our mind’s clutter and as mind needs words to think the nonsense words drive all thought from the mind. Also the mind is focused on making new words so it stops the process of thinking, leaving you thoughtless which is a meditative state.

“Gibberish is to get rid of the active mind, silence to get rid of the inactive mind and let-go is to enter into the transcendental.” ~ Osho

2. Whirling Meditation – The whirling dance or Sufi whirling is a form of Sama or physicaly active meditation which originated among Sufis, and which is still practiced by the Sufi Dervishes of the Mevlevi order. Best known through the Persian poet, Rumi who was a Dervish himself, the dervishes whirl, always from right to left, thus in the motions of the blood circulating around the heart, the Dervishes hold their hands in a unique position. The right hand is lifted, palm-out, towards god and his gifts. The left is palm down towards the earth, to both draw forth its sustenance and to deliver god’s gifts of the spirit to humanity.

Put on some nice beaty sufi music or any music you like. Keep your eyes open and feel the center point of your body. Lift your arms to shoulder height, with the right hand palm up and the left hand low, palm down. Start turning around your own axis. Start slowly and gradually go faster and faster till you are ready to drop.

Let your body fall to the ground when the music stops or when you feel ready to. Roll onto your stomach immediately so that your navel is in contact with the earth. Feel your body blending into the earth. Keep your eyes closed and remain passive and silent.

Again a great meditation to enjoy with the kids. They love twirling and with music and the falling it’s simply great fun.

“Whirling is one of the most ancient techniques, one of the most forceful. It is so deep that even a single experience can make you totally different. Whirl with open eyes, just like small children go on twirling, as if your inner being has become a center and your whole body has become a wheel, moving, a potter’s wheel, moving. You are in the center, but the whole body is moving.” ~ Osho

3. Laughter Meditation or Laughter therapy as it is sometimes called is simply the act of laughing. Same principles apply – when you laugh wholeheartedly you can’t think and your mind is blissfully empty.

What do you do? Simple – laugh for 10 minutes! Think of the funniest incidents, the funniest stories, the funniest movies and let the laughter just burst out of you. Can be done alone or with a group. Start with 10 minutes and build up to 30 minutes and it’ll guarantee some amazing days!

“Laughter is one of the most sacred phenomenons on the earth. Heartfelt laughter releases your hidden sources of energy. When it is really arising out of your heart, when it is total, whole, when your whole being is throbbing with it, then it gives you a taste of meditation. Mind disappears; it cannot exist in laughter. It melts, it evaporates, for a moment there is no mind, there is only laughter. There is no one who is laughing, there is pure laughter.” ~ Osho

About the Author 

Roberta Smith is an Entrepreneur who designs and develops solutions for a business in Kia, Arizona. She also writes as a freelancer for a number of online communities and is writing this post for http://www.markkia.com

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