“Misery is almost always the result of thinking.” — Joseph Joubert
Do you know that your thoughts literally change your life? It’s true, and scientists agree. According to reports published by the Mayo Clinic, researchers continue to explore the effects of positive thinking and optimism on health.
Health benefits that positive thinking may provide include, according to the Mayo Clinic:
- Increased life span
- Lower rates of depression
- Lower levels of distress
- Greater resistance to the common cold
- Better psychological and physical well-being
- Reduced risk of death from cardiovascular disease
- Better coping skills during hardships and times of stress
How the Law of Attraction Comes into Play
The law of attraction basically means that “like attracts like,” and so in terms of your life, it means that the energy you’re sending out into the universe comes right back to you. So, if you’re vibrating “lack” when you’re low on cash, you’ll continue to experience lack. But if you focus on “abundance” when you need to fill up your bank account, guess what? You’ll find that everything is handled and the world gives you what you expect.
Remez Sasson defines the law of attraction quite beautifully, stating that it’s “the attractive, magnetic power of the Universe that draws similar energies together.”
“It manifests through the power of creation, everywhere and in many ways,” he adds. “Even the law of gravity is part of the law of attraction. This law attracts thoughts, ideas, people, situations and circumstances.”
So, according to the LOA, your life is essentially a manifestation of the energy you’re vibrating, which all starts with your thoughts and the way you feel. This means that you are directly responsible for every situation in your life, even if you didn’t intentionally manifest it.
See, the big “Secret” is that we have so much more control over our lives than we tend to realize. It’s almost magical in its simplicity if you really think about it.
Based on your thoughts and feelings, you’re going to draw people, situations, and circumstances in your life that are on the same vibrational level.
So, for example, if you’re thinking “rich” thoughts (abundance), you’ll find yourself surrounded by people, circumstances, and/or opportunities that will lead to your own ability to gain wealth.
FAQ: ‘What if I don’t believe in that law of attraction stuff?’
Well, first off – you don’t need to believe for it to workhttps://queenbeeing.com/a-universal-law-for-skeptics-and-people-from-the-show-me-state/. It is simply a universal law, believe it or don’t. However, you don’t truly need to believe in the LOA in order to understand how your thoughts can affect your life.
Let me explain what I mean.
Whether you believe in the law of attraction or not, even the most logical person can agree that the way you think directly affects your actions, and ultimately, the level of success we achieve. Our thought patterns influence our emotions and perspective of the world. If you can identify your unhelpful thought patterns, you can correct them and develop new ways of managing yourself and the world.
Whether you believe it or not, your thought patterns influence every aspect of your life.
Consider the studies that prove that people are healthier and live longer when they think happy thoughts, for example.
These 8 Toxic Thought Patterns Are Ruining Your Life
Here are 8 ways you’re ruining your life (with toxic thoughts) and how you can overcome them and start living the life you really want.
1. You are always making an ASS out of U and Me (making assumptions).
We all know that making assumptions is a bad idea, but we still do it because it’s freaking human nature! So give yourself a break – but the next time you make assumptions, remember this: good decisions require information. Too many of us jump to false conclusions because we don’t have all the facts. Before you reach a negative conclusion about a situation or person, delay your judgment. Gather all the available information and make an informed decision.
How many times have you made a decision too quickly and regretted it? Give yourself the chance to be right.
2. You expect the future to be just like the past.
While there are some things that seem to never change, most of them are inanimate objects. With time and shifts in energy, you can become something completely different than you used to be – and this can be a very good thing. Be open to change! Just think: the hottest guy in high school might have ignored you, but that has nothing to do with your ability to appeal to the man of your dreams today. The past doesn’t have to equal the future – so start writing your own story!
We’re too quick to believe we’re experts regarding our abilities. One failure isn’t enough to prove anything. Pharmaceutical companies aren’t allowed to test a drug on just one person and then release it to the public. Many attempts are required to prove that results aren’t due to random chance.
Would you believe that a flipped coin would only land on “heads” in the future after flipping it once or twice and getting that result?
Even if you lack natural skills in one area, you can always learn. You weren’t born knowing how to walk or do algebra. You can learn to be a great public speaker, salesperson, or social butterfly, too.
3. You don’t see what’s really happening.
Focusing too much on the positive is good, but you can’t ignore the stuff you need to deal with (sometimes, things that don’t feel very positive). So, focus on being accurate. Look at it this way. Remember the last time you started a new relationship? At first, you’re so focused on their positive traits that you see nothing else. And as your relationship matures, anytime something isn’t working, you are probably focusing entirely on the negative and seeing nothing good. In both cases, your thoughts are wrong – it was never perfect and it’s not completely worthless now. See what I mean?
4. You’re focusing on the wrong things – giving certain situations in your life too much or too little relevance.
Let me ask you something. Do you give your failures too much attention? Do you give your successes too little? See how that might mess with your world a little? Try focusing on having a more balanced view. Just because your boss ignored your morning greeting doesn’t mean you’re about to be fired – you have no idea what happened in the hours, minutes or even seconds before the two of you crossed paths. Give yourself the credit you deserve and refer back to the whole ASSumptions issue.
5. You take stuff WAY too personally!
Like, stuff that really has nothing to do with you personally. Harsh truth, my friend. People do and say things for many reasons that don’t include you. They might be having a bad day or dealing with a personal issue. Your car breaking down doesn’t mean the universe is out to get you. Unless you’re an actual narcissist, you can understand that you’re not the center of the universe, and other people have more on their minds than just you.
6. You don’t live in the moment!
You spend too much time focusing on the past. The past can provide lessons. However, most people don’t use the past constructively. They focus on the missed opportunities and mistakes. When used this way, the past creates feelings of regret. Let go of the past and avoid allowing it to cloud your future.
7. You’re focusing on the future more than the present.
Having goals and plans is great! But it’s common to use the future as a source of worry. Stay focused on today. Today is the only time you can change your life. Allow the future to arrive. It will come soon enough.
8. You are the worst when it comes to procrastination!
You’re always putting things off. Stop it! You’re totally getting in the way of your own success! Just ask yourself: Is it easier to have your muffler replaced when you notice it’s deteriorating or to wait until it falls off in the middle of the highway? If you wait until you’re forced to deal with things, your solutions will be less elegant and less convenient. Do things on your time.
Now it’s your turn.
Do recognize any of these toxic thought patterns? Noticing your tendencies is the first step to changing them. When you catch yourself thinking in a way that clouds your judgment, replace your thought pattern with one that serves you well.
Start Getting Help with Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Today
Online help is readily available for survivors of narcissistic abuse. Here are some options to begin healing from narcissistic abuse right away.
- Sign up for our free email newsletter service that includes a free guided recovery experience via your inbox.
- Start your narcissistic abuse recovery here with our free narcissistic abuse recovery support system and program.
- Think you might have C-PTSD, but you’re not sure? Then, take our free C-PTSD Self-Assessment.
- Join one of our free online narcissistic abuse recovery support groups!
- Join one of our private small coaching groups!
- Get private, one-on-one narcissistic abuse recovery coaching or counseling.
- Get a therapist who will work with you online. Check out our guide to finding a therapist or psychologist who understands narcissism and narcissistic abuse.
- Learn more about the narcissist’s cycle of abuse.
- Triangulation: Why you should never try to fix an argument for a narcissist
- Scientists say they’ve cracked the happiness code
Angela Atkinson is a certified trauma counselor and the author of more than 20 books on narcissism, narcissistic abuse recovery, and related topics. A recognized expert on narcissism and narcissistic personality disorder who has studied and written extensively on narcissistic personality disorder and narcissistic abuse in toxic relationships since 2006, she has a popular narcissistic abuse recovery YouTube channel. Atkinson was inspired to begin her work as a result of having survived toxic relationships of her own.
Atkinson offers trauma-informed narcissistic abuse recovery coaching and has certifications in trauma counseling, life coaching, level 2 therapeutic model, CBT coaching, integrative wellness coaching, and NLP. She is a certified trauma support coach and certified family trauma professional. She also has a professional PTSD counseling certification. Her mission is to help those who have experienced the emotional and mental devastation that comes with narcissistic abuse in these incredibly toxic relationships to (re)discover their true selves, stop the gaslighting and manipulation, and move forward into their genuine desires – into a life that is exactly what they choose for themselves.
Along with her solution-focused life coaching experience, Atkinson’s previous career in journalism and research helps her to offer both accurate and understandable information for survivors of abuse in a simple-to-understand way that helps to increase awareness in the narcissistic abuse recovery community. Atkinson founded QueenBeeing.com Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Support, the SPANily Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Support Groups and the Life Makeover Academy.
She offers individual and group coaching for victims and survivors of narcissistic abuse here at QueenBeeing.com and at NarcissisticAbuseRecovery.Online.