How to Start Feeling Again After Narcissistic Abuse

How to Start Feeling Again After Narcissistic Abuse

Overcoming emotional numbness and dissociation after narcissistic abuse with mindfulness meditation and practices

When you’re working on healing from trauma bonding with someone with NPD, there are a lot of forces at work against you sometimes – often, your own mind after all of the narcissistic abuse you experienced in a toxic relationship.

You may feel emotionally numb and devastated, and you don’t even know how to FEEL anything anymore – the solution to this is mindfulness, and that’s what this video covers.

The way that you conduct yourself in your personal and professional life begins with how you use your mind. You can teach your mind to accept yourself and gain empowerment – or you can stay stuck in self-defeating behaviors.

You are what you think. When you want to introduce change into your life, you need to first accept and empower yourself before you begin altering anything. Your mind is the greatest tool that you have for living the best possible life that you can live.

Countless studies have shown that the brain is constantly working. Your brain can be wired to think or cause you to act in a certain way based on how you handle your mind’s ability to tap into your subconscious mind.

When you practice mindfulness, you can empower yourself and fine tune the subconscious abilities that you have. Using mindful strategies, you’ll be able to focus better, lower your stress and boost your confidence and self-esteem.

Once you learn to accept yourself, you’ll be able to have compassion for yourself, too. This will defeat any negative internal talk that you may have been practicing. Meditation is a strategy that you can use to achieve mindfulness in order to accept and empower yourself.

It helps users quiet the mind so that they can be fully in the present and accepting of the emotions and thoughts that they have. Choose a place where you’ll be comfortable so that you’ll be able to feel relaxed.

Some people choose to sit while meditating and others prefer to lie down. You can also practice mindful meditation while you’re walking outside or in your home. Relax and focus on what’s around you and how you’re inhaling and exhaling.

Be aware of the sensations you feel and the emotions that you’re experiencing. Another strategy that’s often used is deep breathing. You can start this the same way that you would with mindful meditation where you find a comfortable place and begin.

But you can also practice deep breathing while you’re active at home or at work. You focus on drawing in deep breaths and slowly releasing them. You can also use mindful replacement techniques.

These are strategies that call for you to be aware of the thoughts that you think about yourself rather than simply letting them pass through your mind. Whenever any negative self talk pops into your mind, you make a conscious choice to stop and correct the thought.

You correct it by replacing it with affirming words that help you accept yourself as you are. This helps you reprogram your thoughts to enable you to feel empowered rather than listening to words that hinder you and create self-doubt.

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More Resources to Help


Making Meditation Work for You

Making Meditation Work for You

Are You Making the Most of Meditation?

Living in such a hectic world can take its toll on your body, mind, and spirit – but the practice of meditation can help you to focus, have a clear mind, and stay centered. Meditation is a practice of learning to train your mind. There are many purposes and techniques.

What all of the techniques have in common is that they work for some benefit in your life. Meditation can help you reduce the effects of stress on your body and mind. It can help you develop a clear mission and purpose for your life. It can help you connect to a higher power.

If you’ve never meditated before, it can be hard to imagine how to get started. There’s a wide range of meditation techniques. Some are simple, while others require a great deal of discipline and training. In the end, though, there’s really no wrong way to do it.

As you consider beginning the practice of meditation, there are factors to consider. The first is determining in what position you’ll meditate. There are several options for you – choose the one that makes the most sense for you.

Getting Into Position

Determining an appropriate position for meditation can set the stage properly. You really don’t have to choose one specific way to do it, but getting your body into a different position from the norm can help you to focus your mind in a more effective way.

While many people choose to use specific yoga positions for meditation, trying to get your body to hold a position that’s uncomfortable can actually take away from your meditation practice. Choose a position that separates you from outside activities, but is comfortable.

The Lotus. The lotus position is the one that most people associate with meditation. This position is a seated position on the floor. For this position, you’ll bend your right leg and place your right ankle on your left thigh.

Then you’ll place your left ankle on your right thigh. This takes a bit of flexibility. Extend your arms and place your hands on your knees palms up. You’ll also want to touch your thumb and index finger.

For this position it’s important to maintain proper posture so that your spine is properly aligned. You may also want to lower your head so that your chin is touching your chest. It may take some time to be able to achieve this position comfortably.

If you’re not able to achieve it comfortably, there are positions that are close, but don’t require as much flexibility. These can allow you to work up to the lotus position that you want to achieve and allow you to meditate.

The Half-Lotus. This position is similar to the lotus, but not as difficult. You start in the same way by touching your right ankle to your left thigh. However, when you bend your left leg, you keep it on the floor and rest your left ankle in front of your right knee. For this position your arm placement will be the same. This will help you to begin experiencing meditation even if you’re not quite flexible enough to achieve a full lotus. Many people who want to practice meditation in the lotus position begin with this pose.

Crossed Legs. If you’re not ready to perform the lotus, you can also sit with your legs crossed on the floor. Make sure to sit straight up and have proper posture. This position is more comfortable if you’re not flexible and will still allow you to meditate.

Lying Down. There are also positions for meditating where you lie on the floor. Lying down can help you to relax your body and separate yourself from your regular daily life. It’s very comfortable, doesn’t require flexibility, and keeps your body supported.

When it comes to meditation positions, the most important consideration is your comfort. While meditation positions can help you to focus your mind, the wrong position can actually take away from your experience.

If you’re new to meditation, you don’t need to spend all your time focusing on your body position and trying to contort your body into an uncomfortable pose. Instead, focus on finding a pose where you can relax and focus on what’s important.

Breathing for Relaxation

In addition to finding an appropriate position, meditation requires that you pay attention to your breathing. Breathing is an automatic function you perform thousands of times each day without much thought.

Most people breathe using muscles from their chest and upper body. These breaths are often pretty shallow. In order to breathe properly for the purposes of good health and meditation, you’ll need to focus on breathing a different way.

For meditation, we use diaphragmatic breathing. This is breathing that comes from the belly area of the body. As you breathe, think of pushing your belly button out as you inhale and pulling it in as you exhale. This will allow you to take deep, relaxing breaths.

You may also want to try counting when you breathe so that you have consistent, rhythmic breathing that leads to relaxation. Try using a count of five. Breathe in for a count of five and exhale a count of five.

Just as it is with your meditation position, you should make sure that your breathing is comfortable. If you’re uncomfortable, you won’t be able to free your mind for meditation. If you’re distracted, then you’re not doing it correctly.

The Third Eye

When it comes to meditation, the concept of the third eye is very important. The idea is that when you meditate you can open a “third eye” that connects you to a spiritual force. Many people meditate with the goal of opening the third eye.

By opening the third eye, you may find that you feel more spiritually connected to the universe. You may also find that your intuition is keener and that you have more psychic sensitivities. It may take time in order to become this connected, so don’t be discouraged if your meditation doesn’t produce the desired effect.

You may be wondering how you’ll know if you open your third eye. People who have achieved this type of spiritual awakening report seeing colors and hearing sounds. The idea is that you’re connected to the ultimate source in the universe.

In order to open your third eye, you’ll need to be completely relaxed and in a meditative state where our mind is totally at peace. Rather than focusing on issues in your life, you’ll need to actually not be thinking consciously. This can take a lot of practice.

If you get too focused on trying to open your third eye and achieve a new level of meditation, you can actually make it more difficult. It’s important to free your mind and body and not put pressure on yourself to meditate in a specific way.

Meditation and Religion

Meditation can often be associated with religion, although it doesn’t have to be religious. People of most faiths have some sort of meditation.

For some religions such as Buddhism and Hinduism, meditation is actually a formal practice.

In other religions it’s less formal. In fact, prayer in Judeo-Christian religions is a form of mediation where you become connected to source. For some people, meditation is more about spirituality than actual religion.

You’ll need to look at meditation in your own life and decide how it fits your personal religious and spiritual beliefs.

Remember that there really aren’t any rules when it comes to meditation- it needs to be right for you.

Guided Meditation

When you’re new to meditation, it can be difficult to really know how to get started. Guided meditation will help you to get started on your meditation journey. While there are many meditation centers where you can participate in guided meditation, you may want to start out in private.

You’ll be able to find many different types of guided meditation audio recordings that will help you to get started. These meditations will cover everything from positions to breathing. They may also help you with specific chants to enhance your meditation and free your mind.

In addition, they may have background music that will be designed to help you relax. Music can be a very powerful addition to your meditation practice. When you find music that speaks to you, you’ll find that meditation goes quickly.

You may also want to read books that give suggestions for guided meditation. Guided meditation is a tool that can help you to get more out of your meditation time. The more you practice, the easier it will become and you may find that you don’t need guided help anymore.

Finding Space to Meditate

When life is busy and you have a family, it can be difficult just to find a space to meditate. It’s important that you find a place where you can have a few minutes of uninterrupted time to meditate. It’s difficult to free your mind when someone is talking to you and distracting you.

Any space can be turned into a meditation space if you prepare. You may want to use your bedroom as a space for meditation. Make sure to tell the members of your household that you’ll be meditating and that you’d like some private time to do this.

Some people choose to use an office area or gym area to perform meditation. Still others find that a large closet can provide a quiet, private space to meditate. Have you ever felt like the bathroom is the only place where you can be alone?

It may sound crazy, but many people convert their bathrooms into spiritual places when they need just a few moments alone to refocus and renew their spirit. There’s no right or wrong space as long as it’s a place where you can clear your mind.

Carving Out Time for Meditation

The people who are most in need of meditating and relaxing are often those that have the busiest and most demanding lives. It can be hard to think that adding one more thing to your schedule can have benefits, but meditation will give you many benefits.

Don’t feel that you have to spend hours meditating each day in order to achieve a benefit from it. In fact, even taking just a minute or two to breathe deeply and clear your mind can be of tremendous value to you.

If you have more time, then you can always meditate more. But if you only have a few minutes, make the most of them. Building meditation into your schedule is the easiest way to build consistency.

For example, you may want to make it a practice to meditate each morning before you get going for the day. This can help you to face the day with greater focus and purpose. You’ll feel more connected to the world in which you live.

For others, meditating before bed can give the relaxation needed before trying to get a good night’s sleep. When the stress of the day has piled onto your shoulders, meditation can help you to relax, unwind, and clear your mind.

Have you ever gone to bed with your mind racing about all of your experiences and all the things on your to do list for tomorrow? Meditation can free you from this cycle that can disrupt your sleep patterns and leave you feeling weary.

But you can also build meditation into your day at any time. If you have a lunch break, you can take five minutes to clear your mind and feel more refreshed by meditating. Even just taking one minute throughout the day to breathe deeply and refocus can have great benefits.

Benefits of Meditation

While there can be obvious spiritual benefits of meditation, there are many benefits that may not be so obvious for adopting this practice. Take a look at some of the benefits you may receive from adding this simple practice to your life.

• Lowers your heart rate
• Lowers your blood pressure
• Increases your ability to sleep through the night and wake feeling rested
• Relieves tension headaches
• Prevents migraine headaches
• Can help with hormonal balance and achieving an appropriate weight
• Reduces anxiety
• Alleviates depression
• Reduces muscle tension and relieves muscle pain
• Adds greater feeling of peace

Meditation can provide many physical and spiritual benefits when you add it to your life. It helps to take small steps in the beginning and to increase the amount of meditation and your goals for meditation as you become more experienced.

QB Life Hack: How to be Less Self-Conscious

QB Life Hack: How to be Less Self-Conscious

It’s no fun to be self-conscious. This one of the reasons that drugs and alcohol are so attractive to some people. These substances decrease self-consciousness. Self-consciousness is the result of wanting to control the image other people have of you. Ask yourself why you even care in the first place.

Caring what others think is a natural, default condition. It’s a leftover from your school days. You’ve grown beyond that environment. It’s time to move on.

Embrace boldness and live your life on your own terms:

  1. No one cares. That can be good news or bad news depending on your perspective. As soon as you catch yourself preoccupied with the thoughts and opinions of others, remind yourself that they’re too worried wondering what you’re thinking about them. Give yourself a break and relax. You’re being judged less than you think.
  • Studies have shown that people pay attention about half as much as you think they do. For example, in one study, college students were asked to wear an embarrassing t-shirt into class and then guess how many of their fellow students noticed the t-shirt. The guesses were approximately two times higher than the actual result.
  1. Failing to act or speak results in more regret than saying or doing something embarrassing. Embarrassing incidents never seem to be as traumatic as predicted. Your ego stings more when you hold back. It becomes harder and harder to forgive yourself each time.
  2. Ask yourself, “So?”. That inner voice will keep you paralyzed if you allow it. Instead, turn the tables and ask “So?”
  • “If I go to the beach, everyone will see my thighs.” “So?”
  • Instead of reacting emotionally, use a little logic and override your initial impulse. What’s the worst that can go wrong?
  1. Avoid comparisons between others and yourself. The truth is that we notice the strengths of others and our own weaknesses. We’re not good at noticing our own strengths. We don’t notice the weaknesses of others easily, because they’re so busy avoiding them.
  • Take note of your strengths and you’ll see just how great you are. Spend your time comparing your weaknesses to someone else’s strengths and you won’t feel good about yourself.
  1. Pretend you’re confident even if you’re not. Confident people act. When you act, and nothing bad happens, you’ll begin to develop real confidence. Keep telling yourself that you’re a confident person.
  • Adopt confident mannerisms and a confident posture. Speak with authority. It takes time to convince your brain that you’re a confident person, so start right away!
  1. Take part in activities that excite you. It’s easier to be bold when doing something that you really want to do. Learn to be bold in the easiest way possible. If you’ve always wanted to visit Rome, but fear international travel, traveling to Rome will be easier to accomplish than attempting something you fear, but have little interest in.
  1. Try a new style on for size. Change up your wardrobe or hairstyle. Expand your view of yourself. Others will view you differently too. This might make it easier to do and say the things that are on your mind. When you view yourself differently, you give yourself permission to act differently.

Self-consciousness is natural, but it’s uncomfortable and potentially limiting. Take a moment and imagine what your life would be like if you were able to stop caring about the opinions of others. This is a battle that everyone must fight in order to be truly free. Ignore your social anxieties and be your true self.

Try Visualization Meditation for Clear, Focused Intention Throughout Your Day

Try Visualization Meditation for Clear, Focused Intention Throughout Your Day

“The only way to really utilize your human experience is to practice some kind of meditation or visualization. It does work. People really need it. It’s the only way to get through the difficult times. This kind of practice puts one in the “Kuan Yin spirit”. You’re the “watcher”. Instead of judging, you just see. Whether meditating upon my form or bringing light into the chakras, all these techniques will help in one’s life.” ~Lena Lees

Visualization Meditation to Create the Life You Want

Do you use visualization meditation to help you create the life you really want? I do – and it works, when I work it. 

So what is visualization meditation? 

Visualization meditation is the practice of using meditation to focus on a visual item. By focusing the attention on the visual item, you can keep the mind focused. When you keep the mind focused, you stand to gain a host of benefits.

What are the benefits of visualization meditation? 

You’ll experience benefits physically. If you have blood pressure that tends to run a little higher, visualization meditation can lower your blood pressure. If you experience some emotional struggles like feeling fear or sadness, visualization meditation can help you overcome that.

Related: I didn’t know how to meditate right until I learned THIS

By using visualization to increase your intention throughout the day, you’ll discover exactly what your thoughts are doing to you. You’ll see how “where” you focus your thoughts can impact your life.

Why should you try visualization meditation? 

When you don’t focus your thoughts, they can run the gamut from dwelling on the past to jumping ahead to the future that hasn’t happened yet. When your mind doesn’t keep focused on the present, you can limit the productivity and success that you can achieve in your life both in your personal and professional side.

Visualization meditation can increase your intention so that you realize the times when you’re causing internal harm to yourself with your thoughts. You can even be caught up in thought patterns that keep you trapped in a certain mindset.

The problem with staying trapped in a certain mindset is that your emotions are tied to your thoughts. If you think sad or angry thoughts about the past, especially if those are things that hurt you and you can’t change them, then your emotions will quickly follow suit.

What you think about not only can sway your emotions, but these thoughts can produce physical side effects such as higher blood pressure, weight gain, and more. Visualization can help to strengthen your intention which will let you stay focused on the current moment.

It can be especially helpful because the mind can start to wander. When you have visual clues, these can bring you gently back into focus. The visualization process can help you to go through your day aware of the present but not judging it.

This in turn can allow you to be calmer even when there’s a stressful event taking place. Not only that, but when you have a clear intention, it means that you’ll be able to see things as they are which will allow you to make choices that aren’t based on the past or in the future.

When you use visual meditation, it can help you to see where you want to be in life and can help you to focus on present goals. Visualization can help you to have a more specific intention that can lead you to make changes that you want to make.

It can also make you in tune with your emotions, which can then be used to let go of any link with thoughts that might be impacting your health.

Need help with meditation? Check out our Members Only Resource page – it’s packed with free downloads that include meditations that work for all kinds of people. And, it costs nothing to join!

Can you do it? Try visualization meditation today and start creating the life you want!

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