Narcissists Believe Their Own Lies: Here’s Why

Narcissists Believe Their Own Lies: Here’s Why

Narcissistic Personality Disorder and Cognitive Distortions – According to my research, there’s such a thing as “cognitive distortions” which are often associated with narcissists and psychopaths, people with NPD (narcissistic personality disorder) and those in psychopathological states.

What are cognitive distortions?

These cognitive distortions are defined as “exaggerated or irrational thought patterns that are believed to perpetuate the effects of psychopathological states, especially depression and anxiety.”

The first person to study these kinds of distortions was psychiatrist Aaron T. Beck. Along with his student David D. Burns, Beck built up significant research on the topic. Burns’ 1989 book, The Feeling Good Handbook presented an overview of these twisted thought patterns along with his suggestions on how to eliminate them. In general, cognitive distortions cause people to perceive reality differently than literally everyone around them. Someone with Cluster B traits is less likely to perceive events and situations the way that most people do. This kind of thinking is often involved in the gaslighting process.

What is gaslighting?

Gaslighting is a common manipulation technique used by most narcissists and other toxic people. It’s is an incredibly pervasive and highly-effective tactic meant to manipulate you by psychological means into questioning your own sanity. In other words, gaslighting is meant to make you doubt your reality, your perception of the people and situations in your life, and even your own thoughts about those things. Narcissists gaslight you in order to make you feel confused and overwhelmed. This often leads to you becoming increasingly dependent on the narcissist to tell you what YOU think and feel. It is a form of psychological abuse.

Narcissists Believe Their Own Lies: This is Why

Narcissists have the utmost faith in their personal convictions, and they’re no less convinced of their own lies than “normal” people are of basic facts (the sky is blue, the grass is green). In fact, narcissists actually believe their own lies – and that is why they are so convincing.

For some especially charismatic narcissists, that blind self-faith becomes pretty contagious. That’s because we’re programmed to only detect lies that are blatant – and since many narcissists actually BELIEVE their own lies, they can be very convincing. To them, their twisted perceptions have become real – so real, that they seem to be the actual truth.

I’ll explain it all in this video.

How to Deal with a Narcissist and Their Cognitive Distortions

Narcissists and their manipulation tactics will drive you over the edge – they are crazymaking! The best way to deal with a narcissist in almost any situation is to use the gray rock method. Gray rock is a coping technique for survivors of narcissistic abuse. The technique was named and first published by a writer called Skylar, who advises that you act boring and don’t react to the narcissist’s attempts to engage you in drama. The tactic is highly effective but also infuriating for narcissists to experience.

Please be careful, though. Use the gray rock method with caution if you are dealing with any physical abuse as the narcissist may not react well.

Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Support Resources

Related articles you might also want to read

Grandstanding, Virtue Signalling and Toxic People

Grandstanding, Virtue Signalling and Toxic People


Virtue Signalling and Grandstanding: Narcissist Manipulation Tactics Explained – Narcissists use virtue signaling and grandstanding and pretend to have ethics so they can fool you into thinking they’re decent people.

Narcissists will also use this tactic to give them a stronghold when they do mess up in the future. For example, you may hear a sob story about how an ex cheated on them, and they may say that they would NEVER do such a thing because it hurt them so much. You may totally fall for this story because it’s actually true for you – someone did cheat on you in the past, and you can’t stand the idea of making anyone else feel how you felt.

But in reality, the narcissist only tells you this so that when and if you do catch them cheating in the future, they can scream in your face and remind you of how morally superior they are and ask you how DARE you ask them if they cheated when you KNOW how strongly they feel about it. And then they might even throw in “geez, if I am going to be accused of it, maybe I should really do it.”

Fact: basic human decency should be the default for most people. But narcissists are different: they lack this “basic decency” quality because they do not have empathy – so they don’t care how you feel and how it affects you.

Another reason narcissists do this is because it helps them to set you up for a standard of behavior during the relationship. They may do this by stating their own values, or they may even use stories about their ex or another person hurt them in the past.

Here is a light-hearted example to consider: you may hear about how their ex never did the dishes and how it made them just miserable – and then you may decide that you’ll do the dishes every day of your life in order to show the narcissist that people do, in fact, do the dishes and that you are different from the ex.

Basically, the idea then is to teach you how to treat them during the relationship and to put “sticking points” in place so that if and when the mask falls off and you are able to catch a glimpse of their true selves, they can attack you with these points. The point they make: “I have always told you I’d never do that, so you should blindly trust me.”

In other words, the narcissist claims they’re (insert quality here) honest, faithful, otherwise morally correct, and they expect you to be the same, but they have no problem twisting things and lying to you and/or manipulating you to get what they want.

5 Reasons You Keep Attracting Narcissists

5 Reasons You Keep Attracting Narcissists

If you’ve ever wondered, this is why you attract narcissists.

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