Hot Relationships: The Beginner’s Guide to Negotiating With Your Spouse

Hot Relationships: The Beginner’s Guide to Negotiating With Your Spouse

“Let us never negotiate out of fear. But let us never fear to negotiate.” ~John F. Kennedy

disagreeYou’ve had an argument with your husband, and you’re just trying to figure out how to negotiate a satisfactory solution—one that’ll make both of you (reasonably) happy. So what do you do? How do you negotiate a solution when you can’t agree?

Negotiation isn’t always easy, and it’s even more difficult when one or both spouses feels passionately about his or her standpoint. Just the thought that your efforts could be met with rejection might be enough to discourage you. But don’t let that stop you–if you want to keep that relationship spicy, you need to come up with some basic rules for negotiation.

So where do you go from here? How do you get past those obstacles even if your first attempt fails? Getting past rejection of your ideas or desires may not happen overnight, but it’s certainly possible. In fact, what you really need is a guide to successful negotiation. Getting tips that keep you focused on your mission can ensure that you persevere–and these particular tips will work for both your marriage and your “outside” life.

How to Win at Negotiating With Your Husband

Believe in your point of view. By far, this is the most important element of successful negotiation. You absolutely need to believe in your point of view in order to sell it! This is the best way to show someone that you’re prepared with a great idea.

  • When you’re confident, it shows in your eyes and body language. People are quicker to pay attention when they realize you stand 100% behind your negotiation point.
  • If you’re not sold on your point of view, chances are the other person may fail to take you seriously.
  • Standing behind your case gives you the bargaining ability to win over your opponent.

Prepare your case. Now that you’ve bought into your point of view, it’s time to plan your approach. Decide how to express your case for the best possible results.

  • Is there any backup information you need to help support your case? Prepare it in advance.
  • Know your case inside out. If you’re selling something that you know somebody wants, be able to negotiate and tell them why they want it!
  • Try to have a “yes” for every possible “no” the other party may pose.

Embrace your human equality. At the end of the day, you’re just as good as anybody else. Avoid allowing your feelings of inadequacy to convince you to shy away from negotiation.

  • Remember that rejection doesn’t make you a failure. It simply gives you the opportunity to fine tune your approach. After all, experience is the best teacher!
  • Avoid contemplating that the other person may not want to negotiate with you. Think positively! You’re just as equal as the other person. Tell yourself that everybody wants to hear what you have to say.
  • You’re very deserving of the opportunity to negotiate your point. Seize it and make the most of it!

Consider the worst that could happen. Take a moment and really consider the possible outcomes. What’s the worst that could come out of your attempts at negotiation? Just how life-crushing do you think the rejection could be?

  • If you’re honest with yourself, you’ll realize that you’re probably making it seem worse than it is.
  • The worst thing you can hear is “no.” And so what if you do? What possible damage can that word do to you? Absolutely none!
  • Being  challenged or rejected doesn’t make you any less worthy. In fact, consider that your hubby is missing out on what you have to offer!

Rejection is a natural, ever-occurring part of life. You can expect to face challenges and rejection from time to time because not everybody sees eye to eye. But that’s what makes life so interesting!

Can you imagine how boring life would be if nothing you did was ever met with rejection or challenge? It would limit creativity and imagination. So do your part to keep mankind constantly evolving. Be bold and ready to take on whatever is thrown at you!

Get What You Want: Negotiate Your Way to Success

Get What You Want: Negotiate Your Way to Success

Negotiation Cartoons: Positions Vs. Interests

“During a negotiation, it would be wise not to take anything personally. If you leave personalities out of it, you will be able to see opportunities more objectively.” ~Brian Koslow

Do you ever encounter situations when you feel very strongly about how you believe a project should be planned, carried out or completed?

Do you sometimes feel annoyed that the others involved don’t see the situation the same as you do?

Here’s where good negotiation skills come in handy.

Regardless of the career you’ve chosen, there will be times you’ll find negotiation necessary. Learning this critical skill will also improve your personal relationships.

And I’ve got good news: it’s not as hard as you think to learn to negotiate effectively. Try these tips to help you get started.

  • Know what you’re talking about. Avoid in-depth discussions about topics and situations that you’re not yet educated about. Before you start conversations or new projects, ensure that you understand the ins and outs. Preparation is your friend in negotiation.
  • Keep an open mind to what the other person has to say. We’ve all had the experience of rushing in and insisting on what we want, only to discover later that it’s actually quite similar to what the other person wants–we just didn’t know that because we weren’t listening.
  • Find some common ground. With a little luck, you’ll only disagree on one or two minor points. Make a list of where you’re in concurrence and where you’re split. This will concretely illustrate how much negotiating will actually be necessary and how much you really do agree.
  • Talk about the issue at hand first. Avoid trying to discuss solutions until all parties are fully informed. You’ve got to be on the same page about the issue before you can possibly be on the same page for the solution.
  • Keep your emotions out of it.Consider the situation as business. Remain objective at all times. Keep your cool.
  • Don’t be a jerk. You’ll just lose credibility, and no one will be willing to listen to you. Consider the feelings and opinions of everyone involved as important as your own–if you discount an idea before you consider it, you could be doing yourself a huge disservice.
  • Be honest and use integrity. If you misunderstand an element of the challenge or their proposed solution and suddenly realize it, say so. Keep your word. Respect the other person. Don’t be afraid to be wrong–acknowledging your mistakes makes you someone that most people will respect.
  • Ask for the other person’s ideas. Solicit suggestions from them on how to resolve the situation. Listen carefully, and be willing to implement the workable parts of what you hear.
  • Remind yourself that you’re on same side. After all, you both want to resolve the issue. If you focus on finding common threads, you can find a solution that works for all involved.
  • State your ideas for a solution. Make your case, too; tell them why you believe it’s the way to go. For example, you could say something like, “Rather than make in-person follow-up visits once per week to new customers, I think it’s a better idea to do them monthly and use the off-weeks to follow up by phone.” To make your case in this example, you may follow up by saying, “This way, we’ve got time during the off-weeks to develop new customers. We’ll be widening our customer base while keeping contacts with customers we already have.”
  • Show flexibility. You’re two separate people with two separate sets of ideas and perspectives about the issue at hand. Avoid expecting to get your way 100% of the time.

Learning to use effective negotiation skills will help you in accomplishing any goals you have that involve others. Skillfully listen, remain non-emotional, discover points of agreement, honestly state your ideas, and show flexibility when interfacing with others. Get what you want by putting these excellent negotiation skills to work for you.

What are your best negotiation ideas? Share them with me in the comments section, below.


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