“Why do New Years Resolutions fail? Mainly, because they are only a statement, or what we wish for in the coming year. There are usually no action plans, no deadlines, no backup plans. Sometimes they are unrealistic resolutions, with no other thought or plans beside the statement.” ~Catherine Pulsifer
Nearly half of all Americans make at least one New Year’s resolution every year, yet statistics show that in most cases, three out of four of them will fail at manifesting their desires. And statistically speaking, resolutions most often revolve around four categories, including weight, money, self-improvement, education and relationships. But only 1 in 4 succeed.
So, why the low success rate? Are we just doomed to fail? What can we do to ensure that our New Year’s Resolutions stick this year?
Maybe that’s because, a lot of times, we make resolutions based on what other people want or what we feel society wants from us. That is, we make the resolutions we think we SHOULD, instead of making resolutions that are in line with our true divine desires.
Remember that movie, Dirty Dancing? And how Nobody Puts Baby In a Corner?
(I know this is a kind of silly example, but just go with me on this for a second, okay?)
Let’s say you are the young daughter of a doctor in the 1960’s. Your family goes on a summer-long vacay, and though your father hopes you’ll spend your free time with the dorky son of the resort owner, your heart wants the dangerous and oh-so-sexy bad boy staff dance instructor. (And really, who can blame you?) You try in earnest to do as your father wishes and like the big nerd, but you can’t seem to stay away from that big hottie and his swerving hips.
It’s the same deal with New Year’s resolutions–no matter how much you think you can change your true divine desires based on someone else’s will, the fact is that you will inevitably turn back toward your own. As the old saying goes, the heart wants what the heart wants. And, statistics show, you’re most likely to fall back into old patterns within the first few weeks (days in some cases) of making your resolution.
The obvious solution to the “should” scenario is to figure out what you really want and make your resolutions based on your own desires. Doing anything else is just futile. You’ll just end up frustrated as you experience a significant blow to your self-esteem.
If you choose to make New Year’s resolutions this year, be sure they’re based around your own wants and needs, not those of the people or society around you.
But there’s more. You need a plan if you’re going to succeed.
Instead of fleshing out the hows and the whys of their New Year’s resolutions, many people just blindly resolve to make change. New Year’s Day comes along and they have a goal, but no plans or ideas on how they can accomplish it.
So, for example, let’s say that Joe Blow resolves to lose 50 pounds. New Year’s Day comes along and Joe has no clue how he plans to make his goal a reality. He has taken no inspired action to prepare for his new lifestyle–so he shrugs his shoulders and grabs his customary breakfast of donuts and Mountain Dew, figuring he’ll try again tomorrow. Of course, tomorrow never comes, because Joe never had a plan.
If you want to succeed in manifesting your desires, you must take inspired action. So, in Joe Blow’s case, he could have done his research, found a jogging partner, and restocked his kitchen with healthy foods. Any step toward achieving your ultimate goal can be just the trigger you need to finally succeed–and the more you physically and mentally prepare yourself, the more likely you are to make that goal a reality.
What many people don’t recognize is that planning and taking inspired action towards one’s ultimate goals can actually help to enact the law of attraction in their favor. That’s because as you work toward achieving your goal, you’ll naturally visualize and imagine yourself achieving the goal. This helps you to get on the right vibrational level to attract and manifest your desires. Good stuff, if you ask me.
What do you think? Will you set resolutions this year that are in line with your true divine desires? Will you take inspired action to make them stick?
“Every man should be born again on the first day of January. Start with a fresh page. Take up one hole more in the buckle if necessary, or let down one, according to circumstances; but on the first of January let every man gird himself once more, with his face to the front, and take no interest in the things that were and are past.” ~Henry Ward Beecher
2010 was a pretty eventful year for me. I grew my career. I got closer to some people in my life, and I redefined some relationships that were toxic. I made some really difficult choices, and I learned a lot about myself. I took a step back and looked at my life with fresh eyes, a new perspective provided by the choices I made, and I came to understand many things on a profound new level.
In the end, I am calling 2010 a success and I’m so grateful for all of the wonderful people, things and situations in my life. As for those difficult situations and people, I’m grateful for the lessons I learned from them and that they forced me to find a kind of strength within myself that I never knew I had.
I’m trying something new this year. Instead of coming up with a bunch of traditional “New Year’s Resolutions,” I’m going with “New Year’s Intentions.” As far as I’m concerned, resolutions are sort of a recipe for negativity. Statistically speaking, most people don’t follow through with most resolutions–and they’re left feeling like they’ve failed. This can begin a cycle of negativity that can spin out of control.
I’m starting out 2011 by feeling good. I thinned out my wardrobe, cleaned the house and paid my 13 year old to help me clean and rearrange my office. I did these things not because I resolved to do them, but because I wanted to do them–and because it feels good having done them.
I’ve said it a thousand times, and I’ll say it again: when we feel good, we bring more reasons to feel good into our lives. What we think about, we bring about. If we focus on our problems, we attract more problems into our lives. When we think about things or situations or people that we find unpleasant–guess what? We are actively attracting them into our lives.
So this year, instead of promising myself I am going to Become A Whole New Person, I am promising myself that I will be happy with who I am, right now. I will define myself, instead of letting someone else define me. I am promising myself to focus on positive thoughts, actions, people, places, things. I am promising myself that I will focus on what I want–not what I don’t want.
Instead of worrying about the size of my jeans, I’m going to focus on the fact that my body is an amazing machine that helps me do what I want and need to do every day. Instead of focusing on the dust on my shelves, I’m going to focus on being grateful for the home that those dusty shelves (and I) live in. Instead of worrying about mean people and icky situations, I’m going to focus on love–love for my family and friends, love for my career, love for myself. You get the idea–like the old song goes, I’m going to accentuate the positive, eliminate the negative.
Instead of focusing on what other people think about me and want from me, I’m going to focus on what I think and what I want for me.
If I feel stressed or anxious, I am going to change my mind, and focus on the things for which I’m grateful instead. I’m not going to beat myself up if something doesn’t go my way–I’m going to realize that another opportunity is on the way and stay positive in anticipation of it.
It’s all in my head. And that’s where it all starts, for each and every one of us. It’s good to think big–just remember to focus on your own vision and not what you think you’re supposed to want. Like I said last year on this day–do not put limits on your desires! Just be confident enough in yourself to truly embrace them.
Be comfortable enough with who you are to embrace your true nature, and stand up and tell the world who you are.
And so my friends, as Oprah Winfrey said, “Cheers to a new year and another chance for us to get it right.”
What do you think? Are you making any resolutions this year, or will you be sticking with intentions? Tell me in the comments!
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