“Why do New Years Resolutions fail? Mainly, because they are only a statement, or what we wish for in the coming year. There are usually no action plans, no deadlines, no backup plans. Sometimes they are unrealistic resolutions, with no other thought or plans beside the statement.” ~Catherine Pulsifer
Nearly half of all Americans make at least one New Year’s resolution every year, yet statistics show that in most cases, three out of four of them will fail at manifesting their desires. And statistically speaking, resolutions most often revolve around four categories, including weight, money, self-improvement, education and relationships. But only 1 in 4 succeed.
So, why the low success rate? Are we just doomed to fail? What can we do to ensure that our New Year’s Resolutions stick this year?
Maybe that’s because, a lot of times, we make resolutions based on what other people want or what we feel society wants from us. That is, we make the resolutions we think we SHOULD, instead of making resolutions that are in line with our true divine desires.
Remember that movie, Dirty Dancing? And how Nobody Puts Baby In a Corner?
(I know this is a kind of silly example, but just go with me on this for a second, okay?)
Let’s say you are the young daughter of a doctor in the 1960’s. Your family goes on a summer-long vacay, and though your father hopes you’ll spend your free time with the dorky son of the resort owner, your heart wants the dangerous and oh-so-sexy bad boy staff dance instructor. (And really, who can blame you?) You try in earnest to do as your father wishes and like the big nerd, but you can’t seem to stay away from that big hottie and his swerving hips.
It’s the same deal with New Year’s resolutions–no matter how much you think you can change your true divine desires based on someone else’s will, the fact is that you will inevitably turn back toward your own. As the old saying goes, the heart wants what the heart wants. And, statistics show, you’re most likely to fall back into old patterns within the first few weeks (days in some cases) of making your resolution.
The obvious solution to the “should” scenario is to figure out what you really want and make your resolutions based on your own desires. Doing anything else is just futile. You’ll just end up frustrated as you experience a significant blow to your self-esteem.
If you choose to make New Year’s resolutions this year, be sure they’re based around your own wants and needs, not those of the people or society around you.
But there’s more. You need a plan if you’re going to succeed.
Instead of fleshing out the hows and the whys of their New Year’s resolutions, many people just blindly resolve to make change. New Year’s Day comes along and they have a goal, but no plans or ideas on how they can accomplish it.
So, for example, let’s say that Joe Blow resolves to lose 50 pounds. New Year’s Day comes along and Joe has no clue how he plans to make his goal a reality. He has taken no inspired action to prepare for his new lifestyle–so he shrugs his shoulders and grabs his customary breakfast of donuts and Mountain Dew, figuring he’ll try again tomorrow. Of course, tomorrow never comes, because Joe never had a plan.
If you want to succeed in manifesting your desires, you must take inspired action. So, in Joe Blow’s case, he could have done his research, found a jogging partner, and restocked his kitchen with healthy foods. Any step toward achieving your ultimate goal can be just the trigger you need to finally succeed–and the more you physically and mentally prepare yourself, the more likely you are to make that goal a reality.
What many people don’t recognize is that planning and taking inspired action towards one’s ultimate goals can actually help to enact the law of attraction in their favor. That’s because as you work toward achieving your goal, you’ll naturally visualize and imagine yourself achieving the goal. This helps you to get on the right vibrational level to attract and manifest your desires. Good stuff, if you ask me.
What do you think? Will you set resolutions this year that are in line with your true divine desires? Will you take inspired action to make them stick?
The New Year is around the corner. As we wind up for the holidays, I’ve noticed some old feelings creeping back – and that’s why I’d like to remind you to keep an eye on your priority list this holiday season!
Your Own Priority List and Why You Need to Be On It
Awhile back, I noticed I felt a bit out of sorts. I had struggled to get back “on track” with my regular writing schedule, and had been skipping workouts left and right. It was not working well for me.
Essentially, the holiday madness caused me to slip off of my journey toward personal fulfillment. I found myself floating through my days mindlessly, feeling busy and harried instead of centered and peaceful.
I’d been aware of this situation for awhile and had been working on getting my mind in the right place again, seeking solutions to my malaise.
Allow me to preface the next paragraph by telling you, in case you weren’t aware, that I think Oprah Winfrey is an absolute goddess. If you disagree with me, that’s okay, but don’t let it deter you from the message I’m trying to get across here.
See, I happened to catch most of an old episode of Oprah in which she very openly and honestly shared her personal struggles with “falling off the wagon.” And while she did discuss her struggles with weight (as the symptom), her main confession was that she’d been failing to take care of herself.
She was so busy working and taking care of everyone around her, that she forgot to make time to nurture herself. In true Oprah style, she had a plan.
One thing that she said several times when discussing her new plan really stood out for me.
Who of us isn’t guilty at one time or another of forgetting to add ourselves to our ever-growing lists of responsibilities? I know that I have been on more than one occasion. Sometimes, we let life “get in the way” of taking care of ourselves.
This may seem like the right thing to do at times–especially when our jobs or loved ones require extra attention. But its then that we must make a specific effort to build a little time into our days to nurture ourselves, our souls, our individuality.
Take a moment to think about it. When was the last time you did something just for you? When was the last time you scheduled time in your life for yourself?
I’m not asking you to take an entire weekend away, or even an entire day. We all know that sometimes that isn’t possible. Instead, I’m asking you to take ten minutes, an hour, whatever you can afford in your day.
Maybe you need to get up an hour earlier, or stay up an hour later. Perhaps you can sneak it in during your lunch break or baby’s nap time.
And, you may be asking, what should you be doing to take care of yourself anyway? This completely depends on you. What makes you happy? Could you use a nap? Simple downtime? Perhaps you’ve been meaning to work out or read a good book. And who doesn’t enjoy a nice hot bath?
The point? It doesn’t matter WHAT you do, so long as it’s something only for you. As Oprah said on her show today, it’s really a love issue. We must love ourselves in order to love others–we must love ourselves in order to maintain any level of happiness and personal fulfillment in our lives.
Today, my challenge to you is to be brutally honest with yourself. Open up like Oprah did on her show that day, and figure out what you can do to make yourself happy. You deserve to be happy, and you deserve to feel joy. What can you do to make that happen?
Tell me what you’re looking to change about your life in 2016, and I’ll be sure to create free content that teaches you exactly how to do it. PLEASE, share your thoughts and experiences in the comments below!
“Shoot for the moon and if you miss you will still be among the stars.” ~Les Brown
Anyone who knows me probably knows that I do everything within my power to stay positive about every situation. And it serves me quite well.
Still, occasionally something sticks in my head and I just have to talk about it.
Like, for example, the fact that I’ve read three different Facebook posts today about creating New Year’s resolutions–each of which said something to the effect of “be sure to set goals, but don’t shoot too high.”
I’m here to tell you that is complete nonsense.
Stop whatever you’re doing for a minute and read this:
The fact is that you won’t get more than you expect.
Hold on. Read it again. Really GET what I’m saying before you keep going.
You ONLY get what you expect.
So, let’s say you’d really like to open your own business.
Now, you could resolve to do that, and if you believe that it will manifest (and take inspired action as necessary), the world is your oyster.
But, let’s just say you’re one of those Negative Nelly or Ned types and you don’t believe it can happen.
You worry about not having enough money, not having enough support, not being able to get the loan or the employees or WHATEVER it is that you are afraid of – and then, my friend, you might as well just pack up the idea before you even get started.
Why? Because you get what you BELIEVE you will get. If you believe you will have “not enough” then expect it. You’ve got to focus on having “more than you need” or everything you need IN ABUNDANCE if you expect to get anywhere.
Fact: You simply cannot achieve more than you believe you can.
It’s not that complicated, really. Like Mary Kay Ash once said, “If you think you can, you can. And if you think you can’t, you’re right.”
Read carefully my friends: Do Not Put Limits on Your Desires! You can have, do or be whatever you want, if you believe that you can. You don’t have to know exactly how you’re going to get there, either.
That’s one of the cool things about this whole deal–put your desires out to the universe and then believe that you’re manifesting them. Because you are.
You are what you think. Placing limits on your thoughts (or attempting to limit the aspirations of others) will only attract more limits into your life. Instead, open your mind and recognize that the world is abundant. You can achieve whatever you believe you can.
Think I’m full of it?
Think of Andrew Carnegie. The child of poor immigrants, he believed that he could achieve his dreams–and went on to become the second richest man in history.
So how did he do it?
He simply believed that he could–he decided what he wanted, took the necessary inspired action, and his true divine desires manifested exactly as he expected.
“I am no longer cursed by poverty because I took possession of my own mind, and that mind has yielded me every material thing I want, and much more than I need,” Carnegie once said. “But this power of mind is a universal one, available to the humblest person as it is to the greatest.”
In case I haven’t made myself clear, don’t believe anyone who tells you that you need to put limits on your goals and desires. You are the keeper of your own destiny, and YOU decide what you believe you can accomplish. Refuse to accept anything less than your true divine desires.
Still not convinced?
Remember what Buddha said: “All that we are is the result of what we have thought.”
Think big, my friends. Believe that your greatest desires will manifest–because the truth is that we really do get what we expect.
Need a further nudge? Consider what famed American writer and mythologist Joseph Campbell said.
“Follow your bliss, and doors will open for you that you never knew existed. Follow your bliss, and the universe will open doors for you where there were only walls.”
What do you think? Will you refuse to accept limits on your potential this year? Tell me in the comments section, below!
“I love romance. I’m a sucker for it. I love it so much. It’s pathetic.” ~Drew Barrymore
Love it or hate it, romance almost always helps to keep the spark in a relationship!
You’ll likely agree, but maybe you feel like you lack an understanding of romance altogether. Have you tried your hand at romance, but still haven’t quite mastered it?
Romance is a topic that many people in a relationship feel uncertain about. So you’re definitely not alone with your insecurities.
It’s actually pretty easy to develop and refine your romantic streak. Romance takes nothing more than a little creativity and a genuine interest in treating your significant other in a special way.
Try these tips to spark your romance:
1.Consider what makes you feel loved. Take a moment to think about what made you get those butterflies in the past. What special act caused the romance to bubble over?
Is there a special term of endearment your partner uses when speaking about you? Why not consider taking a similar approach?
Perhaps those “I’m in love with you” hugs that feel different from the others could be reciprocated more often.
Has your partner ever dedicated a song to the day you met and fell in love? That would surely make anyone melt!
2. Understand your partner’s likes. Being romantic can be as simple as doing things your partner likes. Create a bucket list of those things to make it easier to think of romantic gestures.
Does your partner love to dine at a specific restaurant? Why not set a dinner date and have the restaurant bring out a love token on cue?
Everybody loves massages! Offer a massage when your partner least expects it.
Is there a favorite dessert your special person loves? Instead of buying it at the bakery, try making it yourself. There are likely plenty of recipes for that dish on the internet.
3. Be yourself. It’s possible you haven’t exactly mastered romance because you aren’t being yourself. It’s pretty difficult to “play a role” that you’re obviously uncomfortable playing.
You’ve probably read that dressing in alluring lingerie is a surefire way to spark romance. But if you feel uncomfortable parading around in lingerie, you don’t need to. It will be blatantly clear to your partner that you’re not feeling it. And that’s the fastest way to kill romance!
It’s absolutely important to show that your gestures are genuine. Always choose things that you’re genuinely happy doing. One of the most significant victories comes when your partner realizes you’ve done it from the heart.
Sometimes all it takes is a little quality time. Show your partner that you’ve specially reserved time for just the two of you.
4. Create lasting memories. Make plans for an outing that you can reminisce on together years down the road. Being able to recall your romantic gestures helps to keep the spark alive!
Find ways to relive special moments.
If you’ve arranged a special occasion, why not get it videotaped? You and your loved one can watch it over and over.
Make a special event an annual occurrence. If it’s something that allowed the romance to spark, it’s a great idea to do it every year at the same time.
With these creative yet simple tips, you’re guaranteed to have ongoing romance in your relationship. Just remember that love and genuine desire to make your partner happy are key. Then it’s smooth sailing the rest of the way!
What are your favorite ways to get romantic? Share your thoughts in the comments section, below!
Every man should be born again on the first day of January. Start with a fresh page. Take up one hole more in the buckle if necessary, or let down one, according to circumstances; but on the first of January let every man gird himself once more, with his face to the front, and take no interest in the things that were and are past. ~Henry Ward Beecher
Happy new year (Photo credit: Amodiovalerio Verde)
2012 was a pretty eventful year for me. I grew my career. I got closer to some people in my life, and I redefined some relationships. I made some really difficult choices, and I learned a lot about myself.
I took a step back and looked at my life with fresh eyes, a new perspective provided by the choices I made, and I came to understand many things on a profound new level.
In the end, I am calling 2012 a success and I’m so grateful for all of the wonderful people, things and situations in my life. I love my life and I’m very blessed to have everything I could ever want or need to be happy. 🙂
But back in 2010, I started this new thing, and I had to share it with you–because it changed my world.
Instead of coming up with a bunch of traditional “New Year’s Resolutions,” I’m going with “New Year’s Intentions.”
As far as I’m concerned, resolutions are sort of a recipe for negativity. Statistically speaking, most people don’t follow through with most resolutions–and they’re left feeling like they’ve failed. This can begin a cycle of negativity that can spin out of control.
I’m starting out 2013 by feeling good. I’ve lost a significant amount of weight, I’m feeling happy and healthy and I am generally doing better than I’ve ever done on many levels.
I’ve said it a thousand times, and I’ll say it again: when we feel good, we bring more reasons to feel good into our lives.
What we think about, we bring about. If we focus on our problems, we attract more problems into our lives.
When we think about things or situations or people that we find unpleasant–guess what? We are actively attracting them into our lives.
So this year, instead of promising myself I am going to Become A Whole New Person, I am promising myself that I will be happy with who I am, right now.
I will define myself, instead of letting someone else define me. I am promising myself to focus on positive thoughts, actions, people, places, things.
I am promising myself that I will focus on what I want–not what I don’t want.
Instead of worrying about the size of my jeans, I’m going to focus on the fact that my body is an amazing machine that helps me do what I want and need to do every day.
Instead of focusing on the dust on my shelves, I’m going to focus on being grateful for the home that those dusty shelves (and I) live in.
Instead of worrying about mean people and icky situations, I’m going to focus on love–love for my family and friends, love for my career, love for myself.
You get the idea–like the old song goes, I’m going to accentuate the positive, eliminate the negative.
Instead of focusing on what other people think about me and want from me, I’m going to focus on what I think and what I want for me.
If I feel stressed or anxious, I am going to change my mind, and focus on the things for which I’m grateful instead. I’m not going to beat myself up if something doesn’t go my way–I’m going to realize that another opportunity is on the way and stay positive in anticipation of it.
It’s all in my head. And that’s where it all starts, for each and every one of us. It’s good to think big–just remember to focus on your own vision and not what you think you’re supposed to want.