Angela Atkinson is a certified trauma counselor and the author of more than 20 books on narcissism, narcissistic abuse recovery, and related topics. A recognized expert on narcissism and narcissistic personality disorder who has studied and written extensively on narcissistic personality disorder and narcissistic abuse in toxic relationships since 2006, she has a popular narcissistic abuse recovery YouTube channel. Atkinson was inspired to begin her work as a result of having survived toxic relationships of her own.
Atkinson offers trauma-informed narcissistic abuse recovery coaching and has certifications in trauma counseling, life coaching, level 2 therapeutic model, CBT coaching, integrative wellness coaching, and NLP. She is a certified trauma support coach and certified family trauma professional. She also has a professional PTSD counseling certification. Her mission is to help those who have experienced the emotional and mental devastation that comes with narcissistic abuse in these incredibly toxic relationships to (re)discover their true selves, stop the gaslighting and manipulation, and move forward into their genuine desires – into a life that is exactly what they choose for themselves.
Along with her solution-focused life coaching experience, Atkinson’s previous career in journalism and research helps her to offer both accurate and understandable information for survivors of abuse in a simple-to-understand way that helps to increase awareness in the narcissistic abuse recovery community. Atkinson founded QueenBeeing.com Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Support, the SPANily Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Support Groups and the Life Makeover Academy.
Note from Angela: Part of my own ‘Project Blissful’ includes getting paid to do what I love, and I believe that most everyone is or will be happier when they are passionate about their work. Today’s guest post from Courtney Coumier offers tips and advice on how to find the job of your dreams through networking–both online and through more traditional methods.
The goal in life is to fulfill the American dream, and part of that has become finding a job that you actually enjoy. So besides finding a job that will pay the bills, you now need to look for something that is fulfilling to you. Something that not only adds to the quality of your life but won’t interfere with other parts of it.
Which leads us to the ultimate question: how do we find this “dream job?”
I wish I could tell you something simple and easy, like just ask Oprah, but unfortunately it is going to take a little bit of work. The main thing to do, at all times not just when you are looking for a job, is to network.
I know it may sound simple, but it is a step that is often over looked until you are pounding the pavement with your resume.
First off, what is networking?
It is not just telling people you are looking for a job. Networking is connecting with other professionals in the industry you hope to work in or that share an area of interest with you. Basically, making friends based on their professional field. It may sound silly to hunt for friends on the interwebs (and off) but in today’s job world it is still all about who you know.
Your professional network shouldn’t just be there to help you find a job; they can also help you with a question, or have advice on something you are going through. Think of it as a professional support system, except it’s free and won’t ask you to explain your feelings.
There are a lot of ways to build out your network; I’m partial to using online networking sites. I was always skeptical of Twitter, until I landed a job. It’s amazing how strong the communities on Twitter are; there is one for everyone. You can scope them out by searching hash tags relevant to you, I use #writers and #hfchat a lot to network with HR recruiters and other writers.
Another big site is Facebook, we already use Facebook to connect with family and friends, why not add a professional network within?
BeKnown is a recent Facebook app created by Monster.com to help aid people in creating professional networks.
The idea behind it is that your Facebook network holds just as much weight as your professional one, so why not merge the two? Before you start to worry, your personal Facebook profile stays private; you control what information is put out rather than the app.
Although networking online is fairly easy, and you can do it from anywhere, nothing beats making connections in person.
By joining different online communities, or looking for different professional networking events in your area, you can find a million new resources.
And remember, the most important things to bring to any networking event are a business card and a friendly attitude (cheesy, but true).
Introduce yourself and tell them why they could connect with you, what do you have to offer, but just highlight the top three things.
Hopefully this helps you realize that 1. Networking is not a wait and see game and 2. It can lead to amazing opportunities, such as that dream job you always wanted.
About the Author
Courtney Cormier is a community manager for Monster.com’s new Facebook application BeKnown. When she isn’t busy live tweeting for the Bachelor, or attempting to give relationship advice over at The College Crush she can be found perusing the web to catch up on the latest and greatest improvements in online networking. Connect with her on BeKnown, Twitter, and check out her blog!
When I wrote The Story Of An Imperfect Woman, I ran it by my hubby to get his blessing since it referred, not only to my quirks and imperfections, but to his. He gave me his blessing, but then he said, “I’m not sure it’s such a good idea to tell everyone all of these things.” I asked him why, and he said, “But what about your reputation?”
I had to laugh.
I mean this guy knows me and loves me, in spite of all these imperfections that are a big part of who I am. He doesn’t expect me to be perfect. And finally, I don’t either.
I remember, back in my thirties, when I felt like I had to:
• Never make mistakes at my job (after all, someone could die)
• Be the perfect wife (or my husband might divorce me)
• Keep a tidy house (or the neighbors would think I was a slob)
• Look perfect (after all, those women’s magazines tell me it’s so important)
• Be perfect in bed (or he might trade me in for a younger model)
• Behave perfectly (or others might not respect me)
• Be the perfect mother (or I might screw up my daughter)
Of course, even if any one of these had been possible, these things were mutually exclusive. By definition, to even try to be perfect at one thing, I’d have to be imperfect at another. It’s enough to make even the most awesome woman bonkers!
I now consider myself a recovering perfectionist, and I no longer expect myself to be perfect. And yet, when my husband said, “But what about your reputation?” I felt the old familiar twinge. Oh yeah. What about my reputation? What will people think?
I thought about it, checked in with my Inner Pilot Light, listened to the still small voice within me, and started to laugh. I mean WHO CARES about my reputation? Who gives a flip what people think? So what if patients decide not to come to me as their doctor because I refuse to be some plastic version of myself who never makes mistakes? Why would I want those people as patients to begin with?
Who gives a flying freak if some society woman doesn’t let me in her country club? Who cares if the neighbors think I’m a slob or the people from my church discover that I took a sex workshop or that I’m twice divorced or that I have a bit of a pooch around my middle these days?
I mean seriously? What am I trying to prove?
I know my husband means well. He wants me to be successful in business, pleasure, friendships, and life, and he supports me 1000%. But if someone like him can still question – after all I’ve done to put my truth out there on the internet – whether I’m crossing the line by revealing how imperfect I am, it only shows me how much further I have to go to help encourage you to learn to love yourself exactly as you are so you can free yourself from the burden of trying to be perfect.
Imperfection As A Screening Tool
The way I see it, sharing my imperfections with you is kind of the perfect screening tool. In other words, I’m not trying to please everyone. I only care about pleasing my people – and if you read this post and decide you don’t like me anymore, then you’re not part of my tribe. Good for both of us to know, right?
I met one girl with bright pink hair and hairy armpits and she said she used her hair as a screening tool. If people didn’t love her because she had pink hair and hairy armpits, they weren’t her people.
The more you pretend to be perfect, the harder it is to find your tribe. Why not make it easy for everyone? Why not let your freak flag fly and see what happens?
The Gift In Imperfection
I’ve learned an incredible lesson since I started Owning Pink over 2 years ago. It turns out that my imperfections are not only a good screening tool, they’re actually the keys to the kingdom. In my vulnerability, authenticity, fearlessness, and sometimes uncomfortable level of disclosure, lies the secret sauce. If I was writing this blog and showing you some vanilla version of myself, I suspect most of you wouldn’t be here. If I was telling you what I thought you wanted to hear instead of what was actually true, I doubt I’d have 5 million readers and over 100,000 Twitter followers.
People care what I have to say because when you’re brave enough to expose your imperfections, you give them courage to do the same. And when we can build community based on truth and authenticity, rather than masks, false perfection, and being phoney, we heal, connect, and thrive.
Are you brave enough to share your imperfections?
Tell us one imperfect thing about you in the comments here. (I promise, we’ll all love you anyway!)