5 Shockingly Empowering Sexy Secrets We Can Learn From Southern Belles

5 Shockingly Empowering Sexy Secrets We Can Learn From Southern Belles

 “Southern Belles never take pride in being ‘awkward’ or ‘adorkable.’ They are ladies who are proud of their social skills, and know how to put people at ease.” ~Candace Thompson

My family and I snuck away for a week during the kids’ spring break from school last year, and boy did I learn something cool. As you might expect, I came across plenty of hot women on my journey, but one in particular sticks out in my mind as a hottie–and probably not one you’d expect.

We left on a Monday night after my husband got off work and we planned to stay in a hotel once we got to Birmingham (just past the halfway point from our home in St. Louis to our rented condo in Panama City Beach, Florida).  So we stopped at a (ridiculously overpriced but very nice) Hampton Inn.

Now, while I am still kind of pissed that it cost us nearly $200 to sleep for exactly 6 unsettling hours, this woman who checked us out was something else.

As we enjoyed our slightly-stale tasting (but “free”) continential breakfast, I saw her, behind the counter. She was probably around 60 years old, and she didn’t seem like much to look at–her skin wasn’t in the best shape and her nose had this odd cut-out looking spot on it. Still, she had a friendly face, I thought, so I went over to check out.

But the moment the woman opened her mouth, she suddenly became incredibly beautiful–and let’s be honest, super hot. And within the three-minute time period I dealt with her, she had a significant impact on me. So what did this southern belle to do win me over within the first two seconds she opened her mouth, aside from belting out that molasses-sweet accent?

5 Sexy Secrets We Can Learn From Southern Belles

southernbelle1. It Ain’t a (Just) Man’s World, So Don’t Be Afraid of Your Femininity–In our society today, women are expected to be sexy, strong and capable, but only insomuch as it does not, in any way, threaten their men. And if she does take on a “traditionally male role,” such as a leadership position at work or a professor at a university, she may feel pressured to subdue her femininity in order to be taken seriously. Southern women are not afraid to be as girly as they wanna be, and they’ll do it all while running a company or heading up a presidential campaign. Bless their hearts!

2. The Art of Being a Lady Isn’t Lost, After All--My hotel clerk and many southern belles like her have this amazing ability to make people around them feel especially comfortable. It’s something about the way they talk, the softness in their voice and maybe even some kind of old-fashioned quality called class. Within the first moment I was talking to this lady, I felt completely at ease and like she was enjoying my conversation. Talk about HOT!

3. Standing By Your Family and Friends is Super Hot–Southern women are known for their ability to take care of and to stand by the people they love – it’s called “Southern Hospitality” for a reason, y’all. There is nothing in the world that says you HAVE to take care of folks (although, if you do, the healthy people in your life usually return the favor!), but I’m here to tell you that, when it comes to men, there are few in this world who don’t (secretly or otherwise) wish their woman would take care of them. Whether they admit it or not, they love it when you get all mommy on their asses–especially when they’re sick. Being a caring wife to a healthy, loving guy? Super hot.

4. southern belleKnowing that Looks DO Matter–Many Southern belles are known for their girly-girl style, but there are just as many gorgeous tomboys, fashionistas  bohemians and other generally hot women in the south. The thing that Southern girls know that the rest of us forget sometimes is that taking care of your appearance DOES change the way the world perceives you (and how you perceive yourself). Not only will you be taken more seriously when you bother to care how you look, but you’ll just FEEL hotter–and that always adds up to BEING hotter.

5. Being Authentically, Really Yourself–I have said it before and I’ll say it again–being YOU is HOT! But in the case of the Southern Belle, I think that Candace Thompson said it best when she said, “Southern Belles don’t care if not every woman wants to be like them, or if they’re considered too “traditional” or “old-fashioned.” They are happy to live the life they have, and be who they are, without pleasing some feminist or businesswoman who wants them to be more “modern.” They know how much better life is when you live it in style.”

What can you learn from a Southern Belle about being a HOTTER version of yourself? Share your thoughts and experiences in the comments section, below!

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Answered: Is Extreme Self Confidence Just Arrogance in Disguise?

Answered: Is Extreme Self Confidence Just Arrogance in Disguise?

“Calm self-confidence is as far from conceit as the desire to earn a decent living is remote from greed.” ~Channing Pollock

Extremely self confident or really arrogant? How to know for sure.

How is high self-esteem different from arrogance?

Submitted by a Reader:

I was a shy and insecure kid and teenager, but the older I get, the more self-confidence I have. It didn’t come easy, though. I worked hard to get here and I work hard to stay here. I work out and eat right, and I have a job I really love. I’m in a good relationship and I’m thinking of getting married and starting a family in the near future.

After years of feeling like I just wasn’t good enough, I feel great about myself finally, and I’m not afraid to let my confidence shine through. This is working great for me and I am mostly really happy with life. 

But here’s the problem. My mom and my sister seem to think I’ve become “really full of myself.” They are always making snide comments about how I need to be humble and how I shouldn’t “brag:” so much. I don’t brag, I just tell them the good things that are happening in my life. I am trying to stay positive like you suggest because I want my life to keep getting better.

But these two are always saying I have to “face my issues,” which I have done already. I just don’t want to focus on them. They are just sooo negative and I don’t know how to make them stop acting that way. What can I do to change the way they treat me? Or do you think I am the one in the wrong here?

Dear Reader,

First, let me congratulate you on your emerging self-confidence! I know how hard it can be to overcome insecurity, and I applaud you for taking charge and making positive changes in your life.

Now, as far as your mom and your sister go, the first thing you need to recognize is that, most likely, the reason they can’t be happy for you and your newfound confidence is that they, themselves, are insecure for some reason. Your success most likely makes them more aware of their own failures or insecurities.

It’s also important to know that it’s not your responsibility to help them feel better about themselves. You can definitely offer support and compliments whenever possible, but unless they have the desire to make positive changes within themselves, your input will only go so far.

So, my suggestion to you is to focus on your own perceptions, both of them and of yourself. Continue to work on feeling good about yourself and your life, and don’t allow anyone else to define you. You get to decide who you are, and you do not have to accept negative perceptions from anyone else.

Heads up: Do you think you might be dealing with a narcissist? Find out here. 

As I told another reader who was struggling with feelings of unworthiness, your mother and sister aren’t alone–approximately 85 percent of all people have felt like they weren’t good enough at one time or another. It’s a common and unfortunate phenomenon in our society, one that you dealt with yourself in the past.

Rather than let their feelings of inferiority affect you, try just acknowledging them and moving forward. So, the next time you hear a snide remark about yourself, just let it pass. You don’t need to defend yourself–this only adds fuel to their unhappy fire. Instead, just focus on something that makes you feel good.

It can be really tough to handle negativity from the people you love, especially when you’re on such a positive track yourself. It’s human nature to want to share your joy with the people around you, and it can be disheartening when they’re not willing to be happy for you.

Just remember that no one else can define you. Not only do you get to do that yourself, but you don’t have to accept anyone else’s definition either.

As writer Peter Murphy says, “Just because someone is concerned for your welfare does not mean that their advice or input has value.”

You can also change your expectations. Remember that we get what we expect–so if you expect your mother and sister to be negative, they’re sure to give it to you. Try changing the way you feel about them. While you can’t directly change another person, you can focus on the good things about them as much as possible, and you might notice a positive change in them too.

In the end, try to stop worrying so much about what other people think and focus instead on how you feel. That’s when you’ll truly find peace.

So, how about you? How do you handle negativity from the people you love?

Get Help WIth Narcissistic Abuse Recovery

These resources will help you with your narcissistic abuse recovery.

Estate Planning: You MUST Do These Things Before Getting Old

Estate Planning: You MUST Do These Things Before Getting Old

Estate Planning – You MUST Do These Things Before Getting Old!!!

Before you get too old. Do your kids a big big big favor and tell them elderly-couple-holding-handsa few simple things that will make life easier for them and yourself.  Don’t wait until it is too late to take care of your finances.  Start now!  

After spending the last few weeks trying to help my husband sort through his elderly parent’s finances I have come to realize that we must take care of this stuff before we get old and not after.  Countless calls to a lawyer and many grey hairs later I am ready to share with you my list of things that you should do before getting old.    

Estate Planning

~ Where your money is – What bank? Do you have more than one bank? Put their name on your accounts. (Yes, all of them!)
~ Who to contact for life insurance – Also, how much is the policy worth? Does it have a cash value in case you have medical expenses and your kids can draw against it?
~If you have long term care and who it is through – How much does the policy pay per day? Who do you contact in order to get it started? How long is the grace period?
~ Where your annuities are located – Put your kids name on the annunities and your IRA.
~ If you have CDs at the bank – How much are they worth and what bank.
~ Where your investments are and who to call to access them – Do you have more than one investment? Maybe stocks and bonds?
~ Where the car titles are and where the deed to the house is kept – Put your kid’s names on the title to the home as well as the car, boat, motorcycle, and that piece of land you bought and never got around to building on.
~ Write up your will and decide on a power of attorney and give a copy to the bank, your doctor, and lawyer.
~ Give your kids copies of your insurance cards along with doctor information.
~ Have a living will? You should!

estate-planning

Don’t leave your family to spend night after night trying to decipher what’s what in your life and where to go next for answers. You might not realize how much of a hassle all this can be but save your family the trouble. They are already going through you being sick or dead don’t let them do all this stuff too!!!!

Weigh In Wednesday – Week 1 – Day 6

Weigh In Wednesday – Week 1 – Day 6

Weigh In Wednesday – Week 1 – Day 6

Will it really happen? Will I weigh in today? Watch and find out!

 

I Can’t Believe I Really Cut It All Off – 25 Inches GONE!

I Can’t Believe I Really Cut It All Off – 25 Inches GONE!

I Cut It All Off – 25 Inches GONE!

Before

Before

I have had long hair for about 11 years. When I say long I mean all the way down to my butt long.  

I would get it trimmed every once in a while but I hated cutting it.

 One day my daughter and I were discussing front bangs and I told her how didn’t like them and would never get them.

Before

Before   

Of course she had to disagree with me and started browsing through google and trying to find a photo of a woman with straight bangs that I would love.

Now she has this need to convince me that she is right and bangs are rockin’! After about 15 minutes of showing me photos she comes across one and I am immediately in love.

I look over at her and throw her phone back across the room to her waiting hand. Smiling I tell her to call our hair dresser because I am getting my first real hair cut in 11 years. Bangs even! She is more than over joyed!

Before

Before

So after making the appointment and posting on social media for 3 days about how I’m going to take the plunge the day arrives.

I woke up with my hair wrapped around my neck/head for the last time!

No more having to wake up and move my hair to roll over in the middle of the night! No more having to wear hair clips just to bend over and see something.

No more having to hold my head away from chairs and car seats because my hair is too long and I have to keep it up so I don’t sweat to death. No more split ends and not wanting to cut them off. No more hot neck. No more hot back! No more hot sweaty days simply because I didn’t bring a hair tie.

No more having to worry about my hair breaking or making sure I give it nutrients to grow long. No more expensive hair spray to hold a heavy long curl. No more having to use hot rollers twice just to get a curl to stay half the day. No more having to have a hair clip in the shower just to wash it all.

No more smacking people in the face with hair when I move it off my shoulders or when just sitting in a car. No more your hair takes up more room than you in the pool. OMGosh NO MORE LONG HAIR!

Before

Before

I was super excited and way overwhelmed all at the same time. Making such a big life change was CRAZY but I was tired of all that HAIR!

After

After

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