Can the law of attraction make you sexy?

Can the law of attraction make you sexy?

“There is no cosmetic for beauty like happiness.” ~ Lady Blessington

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Rewrite Your Story After Narcissistic Abuse: This is where you begin (and pain ends)

Rewrite Your Story After Narcissistic Abuse: This is where you begin (and pain ends)

Travel deep inside yourself without the baggage of conditioning. Be an explorer, have patience and eventually your true nature will surface. You will return from your journey with fresh skin and you will approach each day with a wonderful sense of wonder and bliss. ~~Marco R. Capristo

Figure out who you are after narcissistic abuseWhether we recognize it or not, most everyone’s habits and behavior are a result of some form of conditioning – and for those who have experienced the painful and all-encompassing abuse that a narcissist is known for, the conditioning hasn’t always been in our best interest. 

Related: Are you in a relationship with a narcissist? Find out. 

It begins when we’re small children–our parents’ opinions of us begin to help us form our own perceptions of ourselves. If we’re cursed with narcissistic parents, our perceptions are skewed, twisted…often, plain wrong. 

That’s because children are sponges – they absorb everything in their environment, including and especially the opinions of their parents and other prominent people in their lives. 

If they tell us we’re beautiful, we believe that we are–but if they tell us we’re horrible and sick, we’ll believe that too.

And it doesn’t end there–add in the opinions of your teachers, siblings and friends…and later those of your spouse, your bosses and coworkers, neighbors and don’t forget that lady at the dry cleaner’s last week.

All of this “conditioning,” left unchecked, can sometimes add up to a very negative self image–especially if you don’t know that you don’t have to accept it.

And, we become what we perceive–we are what we believe we are.

Here’s the thing, friend. I’ve been saying this for years, and I don’t mean to nag. But please, take just a second and really focus on this next sentence. 

You don’t have to accept someone else’s judgment, perception or opinion of you.

You get to write your own story.

 You feel me? But seriously, go back and read it one more time if you need to – it’s that important. And, while you’re at it – tweet it out to your friends. 

Fact is, you can be whomever and whatever you choose. All you have to do is believe that you can–really believe it. I mean, feel it down to your bones. And then, believe that you’re receiving it, that you’ve already received it. Own it–because it’s yours if you want it.

Bliss Mission: Choose Your Own Story

9316349-77549111_23-s1-v1Today, I challenge you to take a look at the people around you–those you love, those you like and even those who present certain struggles. Remember your childhood, and the people you spent time with during that time.

Now, think of all the perceptions they had about you. Your parents? Your friends? Others?

Then, think about you. Have you adopted someone else’s opinion of who you are? Or have you constantly struggled against it? Do you feel guilty for being who you are, because you haven’t become what someone else wanted you to become?

Read also: Gaslighting, Love Bombing and Flying Monkeys

Most of us can identify with this feeling on some level, I suspect, but most especially those who have been negatively affected by a narcissist’s gaslighting and abuse in relationships. 

This next part is the hardest part of all, so I hope you’re sitting down.

It’s time to begin to release the negative self-perceptions you’ve held on to for years.

Related: Do you believe what you think you believe? Rediscover yourself after narcissistic abuse. 

BREATHE! This is going to FEEL very difficult, but once you realize how much better your life is going to be, you’re going to wonder why you’ve waited so long. Are you ready for this? 

It’s finally time to let go of every disapproving look, veiled insult and rude comment.

It’s time to wash away the well-intentioned but misguided attempts to save (read: change to fit someone else’s idea of perfect) your soul, your sense of fashion and your sense of justice.

I know what you’re thinking. Probably something along the lines of “Yeah, sure, and how would you propose I go about THAT?” Well, you know me – I’ve got an answer. 

And, if you know me well, you know that it works – because it’s how I survived my own narcissistic abuse situation. 

Try this.

Today, every time you have a negative thought about yourself, take notice and change your mind. 

Cancel the thought, and intentionally replace it with an affirmation of your true desires. So, if you t9316303-77549111_23-s1-v1hink to yourself, “I am always late,” notice it. Then, mentally cancel the thought and affirm, “I am always on time.”

Perception is everything, people. And you can change yours at will. 🙂 Good stuff, yes? I think so. I’ll leave you with a final thought to get your wheels turning as you begin to release any negative perceptions you’ve held about yourself.

“The trick is in what one emphasizes. We either make ourselves miserable, or we make ourselves strong. The amount of work is the same.”~ Carlos Castaneda

Do not allow the simplicity of this tip make you doubt its power – this is one of those things that WORKS – changing your perception intentionally, and with a little practice, not only will you see results fast, but you’ll soon realize how much control you really DO have over your own life. 

Are you ready to rewrite your story? Share your thoughts and experiences in the comments section, below! Let’s talk about this. 

 

Rediscovering Yourself After Narcissistic Abuse: Do You Believe What You Think You Believe?

Rediscovering Yourself After Narcissistic Abuse: Do You Believe What You Think You Believe?

I have always felt a little annoyed when strangers call me things like “babe” or “hon.” It doesn’t much matter if the stranger is male or female, or whether they’re older or younger than me.

How to discover who you are after narcissistic abuse

One day a few years ago, after once again being called “hon,” by a virtual stranger, I took note of my reaction–I instantly bristled at the word. Not so much that I had any sort of external reaction–just a brief, negative bit of energy that buzzed through me.  It launched a bit of an existential crisis, but in a good way.

An Existential Crisis After Going No Contact With a Narcissist

I began to wonder, “Why Do I Feel This Way, Anyway?” It made no sense. I mean, it’s not like I sat around stressing about it. But later, during a rare quiet moment in the day, I thought about why I reacted that way.

I remembered that growing up, a female narcissist in my life had once told me that she felt insulted when almost anyone except her husband used terms of endearment such as “hon” or “babe” with her. She said it made her feel like they thought she was somehow less than them, or like they were being “fake” nice.

Accepting a Narcissist’s Opinion As Fact

Since I was probably ten years old when I heard this, I took it as a fact, rather than an opinion.  It stuck with me, this woman’s perception, and I carried it with me through my own life. Subconsciously, I accepted and lived someone else’s perception rather than forming my own about this little tiny thing. In fact, this tiny little issue has clouded other areas of my life too.

I have often believed that people around me had ulterior motives or weren’t genuine, and suddenly when I took just a moment to question my long-held beliefs, I realized that they existed primarily because of perceptions that were taught to me by other people.

Question Everything!

Do You Believe What You Think You Believe?

I don’t know about you, but I can think of a LOT of different perceptions that I’ve carried through my life without even realizing it.

And when we’ve been in relationships with narcissists, our perceptions are more likely to be twisted than not. So ask yourself: Do I really believe what I think I believe?

How do we decide what we believe?

As kids, we form our opinions of the world almost subliminally. We gather up the information that’s fed to us from our parents, our teachers, our friends–the television–and we decide what we believe about ourselves, the world around us, the people in it…life in general.

Have you ever really thought about it? Can you honestly say that you know why you believe what you think you believe? Or are you carrying around other people’s baggage without even realizing it?

Why do we need to let go of old, limiting perceptions to heal after narcissistic abuse?

As it turns out, I don’t mind if strangers use terms of endearment with me. It’s not that I love it, but I don’t think it’s anything to get upset about–that’s just some people’s way of being friendly, I think. It doesn’t mean that they think less of me. And if it does, do I really care? Not so much.

So, for probably 25 years, I have held this unnecessary bit of negativity just because I accepted someone else’s perception without question.

And that, for me, was a big shocker.

How Going No Contact with a Narcissist Opened My Eyes

After my childhood narcissist took the tiny betrayals too far and I was snapped into reality with an almost literal slap in the face, I finally had enough and cut off all contact with her.

Related: This is Why Going No Contact is So Hard

While I went through the standard stages of grief during the initial separation period, I found myself growing as a person and my whole world sort of opened up – suddenly, everything I believed to be true (especially about myself) could be reconsidered.

Related: Why I Write About Narcissism

And I realized that I was in control; that I could decide how it was going to go from here on out – and most of all, that I got to choose my own story – I was the one who got to define me. And guess what, pal?

YOU are the only one who gets to decide who YOU are. Do you feel me? ONLY you. Not some abusive narcissist. Okay, moving on.

Letting Go Of Limiting Beliefs Opens the Door to Unlimited Potential.

9188425-77549111_23-s1-v1I think that every single one of us is carrying around some limiting beliefs that we’ve picked up from others along the way.

I say it’s time to shake things up. Imagine the freedom you could feel if you could eliminate all of the negative perceptions you’ve picked up over the years. Think about how positive your days could be–and as we all know, we bring about what we think about!

The more positive energy, gratitude and general peace you can find, the more amazing your life will get.

Bliss Mission: Change Your Negative and Limiting Self-Perceptions

9188364-77549111_23-s1-v1My challenge to you today is to identify and challenge at least one belief or perception that you have always had, whether it’s about yourself or something or someone outside of yourself.

You can start small. Maybe you believe that your paperboy intentionally throws your paper in the mud puddle every time it rains.

Or you can start bigger. Maybe you believe that you don’t really deserve to be happy. In either case, ask yourself WHY you feel that way, and whether it’s logical. You might be surprised at what you discover.

Are you in a relationship with a narcissist? Check out this special resource page, filled with free tools to help you recover. 

Are you ready to challenge your negative perceptions and beliefs?

Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Support Resources

7-Day Pre-Holiday Life Reboot: Fortify your body, mind and soul for the holiday season

7-Day Pre-Holiday Life Reboot: Fortify your body, mind and soul for the holiday season

“You may have a fresh start any moment you choose, for this thing that we call ‘failure’ is not the falling down, but the staying down.” ~Mary Pickford

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Must-Have: Get this life-changing ebook #free thru Monday

Must-Have: Get this life-changing ebook #free thru Monday

Exciting news! I’m sharing a special opportunity with you! If you hurry and visit Amazon.com, you’ll still be able to get a free Kindle copy of my newest ebook, 100 Days to Greatness.free-stuff

(No strings attached, of course. All you need to do is visit the link, click and download the book. It’s free and you’ll own it forever. Consider it my gift to you! But as always, reviews and shares are appreciated.)

Don’t have a Kindle? No problem! You can get the app for free and read your Kindle ebooks on ANY device, even your PC and your phone. Get the free Kindle app for the device of your choice, right here. 

100 Days to Greatness

The Whole Life Fix Movement

Your Ultimate Guide to Help You Stop Doubting Yourself and Start Living Your Perfect Life

About the book

Do you feel like your life is out of your control?

lamp-432249_640Do you feel the need for personal change but you don’t know where to start?

Ever feel like you’re meant to do great things, but you can’t seem to figure out what you’re great at doing?

Believe it or don’t, your everyday habits can help make or break your life. That’s right – whether we recognize it or not, our habits and behavior are a result of some form of conditioning.

It begins when we’re children–our parents’ opinions of us begin to help us form our own perceptions of ourselves.

If they tell us we’re beautiful, we believe that we are–but if they tell us we’re horrible and sick, we’ll believe that too.

And it doesn’t end there–add in the opinions of your teachers, siblings and friends…and later those of your spouse, your bosses and coworkers, neighbors and don’t forget that lady at the dry cleaner’s last week.

All of this “conditioning,” left unchecked, can sometimes add up to a very negative self image–especially if you don’t know that you don’t have to accept it.
And, we become what we perceive–we are what we believe we are.

Here’s the thing, friend.

You don’t have to accept someone else’s judgment, perception or opinion of you. You get to write your own story.

You can be whomever and whatever you choose. All you have to do is believe that you can–really believe it. I mean, feel it down to your bones. And then, believe that you’re receiving it, that you’ve already received it. Own it–because it’s yours if you want it.

This book will teach you exactly how to do that. Inside, you’ll discover

  1. Why 100 days is an ideal amount of time to completely change your life
  2. How life is really more of a journey than a destination
  3. How to get over feeling “stuck” in life
  4. How to choose your experiences, instead of “letting it happen” to you
  5. How to live in the moment
  6. How being thankful can make you richer, happier and more fulfilled
  7. How to make everyone love you
  8. How to alter your perception and change your life forever
  9. How to set goals that really happen
  10. What you need to do to make all of your dreams come true
  11. Secrets of success from the experts
  12. How to stop being lazy and start getting done
  13. How to stop feeling anxious and angry
  14. How to get everything you want in 100 days

And that’s only the beginning. 

So what are you waiting for? You’ve been looking for this book your whole life – download it right now and start creating the life you want. And don’t forget to visit QueenBeeing’s freebies page for plenty of free tools to help create the life you deserve and become the best possible version of yourself.

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