Have you figured out you’ve been dealing with a narcissist in your life, but you don’t know where to begin your recovery? If so, you’re not alone. In fact, it reminds me of an old story about a child trying to move a heavy stone while his father looks on. The child works and works, but is just not strong enough. Finally, he tells his father, “I can’t do it. It’s impossible.”
His father responds, “Of course you can. You haven’t used all the strength you have available to you yet.” The little boy answers that he has tried his hardest, and still can’t do it, to which the father responds, “You haven’t asked me to help you yet.”
If you need help in your own healing and you don’t know who to ask, look no further – here’s some support and help that’s available to you right now.
Here’s the Help You Need in Narcissistic Abuse Recovery
Sometimes, when you’re trying to recover from narcissistic abuse, it can feel like you’re moving that heavy rock. You struggle and fight, but it’s so hard to stick to the plan that you give up. There comes a time to recognize that asking for help is a sign of strength, not weakness. Enlisting the aid of friends, family, and a good support group can bolster your efforts and help you overcome setbacks that threaten to derail your narcissistic abuse recovery efforts. Instead of trying to go it alone, try a few of these suggestions to help you stay on track with the help of friends and family. If you prefer a guided experience, you can start your narcissistic abuse recovery for free, right here.
Gather up trusted friends and family members and make them part of your inner circle – your support system. Don’t have people you feel comfortable sharing your situation with? How about a whole group of people who have been there, done that? Join my SPAN group, right here. It’s totally free and confidential. We also have several other groups that are specific to your situation and your level in recovery – check them out here.
Get your family on the right page.
When they’re not narcissistic, husbands, wives, children, and siblings can offer support in unexpected ways. Something as simple as a sincere compliment at the right time can be all you need to nudge you onward. By the same token, refuse to let them sabotage your recovery efforts. Sometimes even people who are acting as the flying monkeys of a toxic narcissist don’t know what they’re doing. Give yourself the freedom and space you need to clarify the situation – and don’t be afraid to take a step back from people who are toxic for you, especially during recovery.
There’s a lot to be said for seeking out the support of others who are fighting the same battle you are. Whatever it is that motivates you, you can find it in our small group coaching sessions led by the amazing Lise Colucci – and you’ll get one-on-one help as well as being able to connect with and learn from your fellow group members during our sessions. Healthy sharing, companionship, encouragement, applause, and practical, common-sense advice from others who are also fighting to take back your life can all make this whole narcissistic abuse recovery stuff a whole lot easier.
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For the past years, seaweeds have been a popular food additive in almost all parts of the world. According to studies, seaweeds are rich in vitamins A1, B1, B2, B6, B12, C, E and K which can keep the body healthy and strong enough to fight many types of diseases. Aside from having loads of vitamins, seaweeds are also know as good sources for minerals such as potassium, odium, magnesium, calcium, phosphorus, manganese, iron and zinc.
Since seaweeds have high vitamin and mineral contents, researchers found out those seaweeds are not only good as food additive; they are also potent ingredients for beauty products. Studies show that seaweed beauty products are effective and safe to use in almost all types of skin.
In fact, seaweed beauty products are considered as one of the best in the cosmetic industry today. For the past years, many players in the cosmetic industry came up with different beauty products using seaweeds are primary ingredients.
Caring For Your Skin
Skin types vary from person to person thus it is not safe to assume that what works for another person will also work for you. Fortunately, there are now different types of seaweed beauty products for different types of skin so you need not worry about finding the right seaweed beauty product for you. Just make sure that you use the seaweed beauty product accordingly to avoid any untoward incidents.
If you are one of those people who are prone to allergies, you should be extra careful when using any types of beauty products. Before you apply the seaweed beauty product on your face or any parts of the body for that matter, you must read the label carefully and take note of the ingredients used in the product. Make sure that the beauty products do not contain ingredients that can trigger your allergies.
Moreover, before you actually use the beauty product, you should test it first by applying it on a small portion of your skin. Wait for a few hours for any signs allergic reactions. If you notice any itching or burning sensations on the area where you applied the beauty products, do not use these products.
On the other hand, you should be careful about using seaweed beauty products if you are suffering from acne and other types of skin breaks. To be safe, consult your dermatologist before you apply seaweeds beauty products on any affected area of your skin. Note that some types of beauty products can have some adverse effects on sensitive skin.
“Forget whatever figure you may have heard,” Wargo writes. “Not to intimidate you, if you happen to be preparing for a job or grad school interview, or a blind date, but new research shows that you may need to have your act together in the blink of an eye.”
Wargo points out a series of experiments done by two Princeton psychologists, who found that it only takes a tenth of a second to form an impression of a stranger’s face–and perhaps more surprisingly, getting to know that person better doesn’t often change those first impressions. On the plus side, longer exposures were found to increase confidence in a person’s judgments.
So why do first impressions matter?
Human nature isn’t always kind. The way we see a person’s facial appearance has a big effect on how we treat that person–and the way people see our faces directly affects how we get treated.
The fact is that people who are considered attractive tend to do better in nearly every aspect of their lives. Just look to the legal system for confirmation, Wargo says.
“People with ‘mature’ faces receive more severe judicial outcomes than ‘baby-faced’ people,” he writes. “And having a face that looks competent (as opposed to trustworthy or likeable) may matter a lot in whether a person gets elected to public office.”
I know, it’s not fair. There are plenty of physically beautiful people who are not so pretty on the inside, and there are plenty of amazing people who might not make the best first impression based on their appearance.
We’ve all had our off-days (or weeks or months) and I’m no exception. Personally, I gained a lot of weight during pregnancy and struggled to take it off–heck, I’m still working on those last few pounds.
But when my scale tipped out at my highest weight ever, I was very aware of the fact that I was being treated differently because of my appearance. People made assumptions about me that weren’t true–that I was not intelligent, that I was lazy, that I was not competent. It was very hurtful and frustrating, for sure, but definitely motivation to change and get back to being my fabulous self.
So, aside from being YOUR fabulous self, how can you make a great first impression every time? Just learn how to accentuate your assets and work what you’ve got.
Answer these questions to help you plan a positive and memorable first impression:
Do you smile and make eye contact?Your facial expressions can be an asset or a liability. A real smile is seen all over your face. It shows not only by the shape of your mouth but through your eyes. Do you genuinely smile when you meet others? Studies show that smiling faces are generally appear more attractive than those that are frowning or have a neutral look, and people will feel warmer toward a smiling person in most societies.
What do you say? When you first meet someone, are you very quiet? Do you just say, “Pleased to meet you,” or do you chatter on incessantly about whatever’s on your mind at the moment? Your social skills and ability to communicate determine how you come across when you first meet someone. Make your first verbal exchanges with people memorable. If one of your assets is that you can tell a good story, go ahead and tell one.
What kind of mood do you portray? Are you serious or funny? Do you look like you’re waiting for something to happen, like you want to fade into the wallpaper, or like the class clown? Your mood shows your personality to people and could make either a forgettable impression or a fantastic one that will precede you for years to come.
How do you look? In most situations, there’s no need to be dressed in the most expensive or trendiest fashion, but is your look clean and well put together? Or did you skip ironing your wrinkly shirt or hope that no one notices that you didn’t shave? Maybe you didn’t plan ahead what you were going to wear to an event and just threw on the first thing you grabbed. If you’re neat, clean, and your clothes reasonably decent-looking, you’re on the right track to making a positive impression. Find clothing that flatters you–not too tight or too loose, and find colors that work for your skin tone. Don’t be a slave to fashion, if that’s not your bag, but do consider current styles and pick up a few pieces to update your wardrobe each season if you can.
What kind of effort do you make? When getting to know someone, do you ask specific questions of the person to show your interest? Try finding common ground by asking how they know the host or what they do for a living.
What do you want people to remember about you? This might be the most insightful question of all. Who do you want to be? If you know the answer to this, you’ll be able to adjust your behaviors, mood, and appearance to give the impression you truly want to make. You can use your assets to make a well-considered statement about yourself.
I take the time to reflect on my words and actions and determine if those behaviors exemplify this person. I look at that blueprint each day and take the necessary steps to match my actions with it.
I acknowledge that sometimes I simply react instead of thinking first. I get so worked up by others or unpleasant life situations that my feelings overshadow my goal.
I am a conscious being. I am instantly aware when I disappoint myself by giving into negative emotions. When that happens, I take steps to renew my focus. I realign my actions with my blueprint and all is well with my world once again.
Today, I vow to remain aware of the person I want to be. I commit to carefully assessing my actions to ensure they are aligned with my behavioral goals. I desire to be a better person and acknowledge that there is always room for improvement.
Today’s Self-Reflection Questions:
1. Do I listen to the feedback from others about my behaviors?
2. Is there room for improvement where my behaviors are concerned?
3. How many times do I allow myself to make the same mistake?