5 Shockingly Empowering Sexy Secrets We Can Learn From Southern Belles

5 Shockingly Empowering Sexy Secrets We Can Learn From Southern Belles

 “Southern Belles never take pride in being ‘awkward’ or ‘adorkable.’ They are ladies who are proud of their social skills, and know how to put people at ease.” ~Candace Thompson

My family and I snuck away for a week during the kids’ spring break from school last year, and boy did I learn something cool. As you might expect, I came across plenty of hot women on my journey, but one in particular sticks out in my mind as a hottie–and probably not one you’d expect.

We left on a Monday night after my husband got off work and we planned to stay in a hotel once we got to Birmingham (just past the halfway point from our home in St. Louis to our rented condo in Panama City Beach, Florida).  So we stopped at a (ridiculously overpriced but very nice) Hampton Inn.

Now, while I am still kind of pissed that it cost us nearly $200 to sleep for exactly 6 unsettling hours, this woman who checked us out was something else.

As we enjoyed our slightly-stale tasting (but “free”) continential breakfast, I saw her, behind the counter. She was probably around 60 years old, and she didn’t seem like much to look at–her skin wasn’t in the best shape and her nose had this odd cut-out looking spot on it. Still, she had a friendly face, I thought, so I went over to check out.

But the moment the woman opened her mouth, she suddenly became incredibly beautiful–and let’s be honest, super hot. And within the three-minute time period I dealt with her, she had a significant impact on me. So what did this southern belle to do win me over within the first two seconds she opened her mouth, aside from belting out that molasses-sweet accent?

5 Sexy Secrets We Can Learn From Southern Belles

southernbelle1. It Ain’t a (Just) Man’s World, So Don’t Be Afraid of Your Femininity–In our society today, women are expected to be sexy, strong and capable, but only insomuch as it does not, in any way, threaten their men. And if she does take on a “traditionally male role,” such as a leadership position at work or a professor at a university, she may feel pressured to subdue her femininity in order to be taken seriously. Southern women are not afraid to be as girly as they wanna be, and they’ll do it all while running a company or heading up a presidential campaign. Bless their hearts!

2. The Art of Being a Lady Isn’t Lost, After All--My hotel clerk and many southern belles like her have this amazing ability to make people around them feel especially comfortable. It’s something about the way they talk, the softness in their voice and maybe even some kind of old-fashioned quality called class. Within the first moment I was talking to this lady, I felt completely at ease and like she was enjoying my conversation. Talk about HOT!

3. Standing By Your Family and Friends is Super Hot–Southern women are known for their ability to take care of and to stand by the people they love – it’s called “Southern Hospitality” for a reason, y’all. There is nothing in the world that says you HAVE to take care of folks (although, if you do, the healthy people in your life usually return the favor!), but I’m here to tell you that, when it comes to men, there are few in this world who don’t (secretly or otherwise) wish their woman would take care of them. Whether they admit it or not, they love it when you get all mommy on their asses–especially when they’re sick. Being a caring wife to a healthy, loving guy? Super hot.

4. southern belleKnowing that Looks DO Matter–Many Southern belles are known for their girly-girl style, but there are just as many gorgeous tomboys, fashionistas  bohemians and other generally hot women in the south. The thing that Southern girls know that the rest of us forget sometimes is that taking care of your appearance DOES change the way the world perceives you (and how you perceive yourself). Not only will you be taken more seriously when you bother to care how you look, but you’ll just FEEL hotter–and that always adds up to BEING hotter.

5. Being Authentically, Really Yourself–I have said it before and I’ll say it again–being YOU is HOT! But in the case of the Southern Belle, I think that Candace Thompson said it best when she said, “Southern Belles don’t care if not every woman wants to be like them, or if they’re considered too “traditional” or “old-fashioned.” They are happy to live the life they have, and be who they are, without pleasing some feminist or businesswoman who wants them to be more “modern.” They know how much better life is when you live it in style.”

What can you learn from a Southern Belle about being a HOTTER version of yourself? Share your thoughts and experiences in the comments section, below!

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Shocker! Research proves that being hot makes men be nicer to you

Shocker! Research proves that being hot makes men be nicer to you

“There’s a difference between beauty and charm. A beautiful woman is one I notice. A charming woman is one who notices me.” ~John Erskine

men nicr to hot womenLadies, I’ve got good news and I’ve got bad news. The good news? I was right all along. The bad news? Well…that I was right all along. 

I’d like to say that it’s big. shocking news – but I think it’s safe to say that not a single one of us is surprised.

This news isn’t just something I’ve discovered or dreamed up myself (though, to be fair, I’ve been painfully aware of it for the majority of my life, whether consciously or not).

See, after I lost 100 pounds and sort of “took back my life,” I found myself being treated a lot differently by literally everyone in my life, but most especially by men.

After conducting my own research and based on my own experiences, I’ve become so convinced of the reason that I’ve actually written several books on the subject.

So yeah, I’ve known it for awhile, and I suspect you would have too, if you ever took a minute to notice it. But this time, it’s backed by science and to me, that kind of thing deserves our notice – and if we’re smart, we can use it to our advantage.

So what’s the big discovery?

Men are more likely to be nice to attractive women. This goes for everyone from strangers to their spouses.

I know, you’re shocked. I’d be surprised if you hadn’t just fallen out of your chair. (Yeah, that’s a touch of sarcasm – hard to detect tone in text sometimes!).

The Science of Attraction

The study, entitled “The undermining effect of facial attractiveness on brain responses to fairness in the Ultimatum Game,” had some rather interesting (if not surprising) findings.

Published in the Frontiers in Neuroscience journal, it found that men are far more likely to accept “unfair offers” from women they consider to be attractive.

So what does that mean, exactly?

Politically correct or not, it means one thing specifically: that men definitely do treat hot women better

According to the study’s authors, “the male subjects played responders who decided whether to accept offers from female proposers, whose facial images (grouped as ‘attractive’ and ‘unattractive’) were presented prior to the offer presentation.”

“The behavioral data demonstrated that the acceptance ratio increased with the fairness level of the offers and, more importantly, the subjects were more likely to accept unfair offers when presented with the attractive-face condition compared with the unattractive-face condition,” researchers added.

While they found that it took longer on average for the men to respond to the women they considered attractive, one rsearcher remarked that it was likely due to the fact that they spent more time enjoying the more attractive faces. In the end, they determined the simple fact that men are more likely to do nice things and accept less fair compensation from beautiful women than from those they found unattractive.

In summary, the authors offfered the following.

to be a hot wife cover“…the “beauty premium” influenced responder fairness during the Ultimate Game . Unfair offers from attractive female allocators were more acceptable to the male subjects, and the males presented with fluctuating reaction times to the five offers in comparison with a stable reaction pattern in the unattractive-face condition. The event-related potentials data supported the behavioral findings. ”

Psst…good news – you don’t have to be born sexy to become sexy! Want to be the sexiest possible version of yourself? Check out How to Be a Hot Wife – that’s where I reveal all of my sexy secrets and teach you how to use them for yourself. <3

So what do you think about all of this? Does it make you angry, or do you get it? Have you personally experienced a difference? Let’s discuss it – leave me a comment below to share your thoughts!

How being a bitch on Facebook bit me in the tongue

How being a bitch on Facebook bit me in the tongue

“The Law of Attraction exists and is working, whether you like it or not. If you end up using it for your benefit or to your detriment, it is still be working in the background of our lives.” ~Amy B. Scher
 
Oh boy. I  love when the Universe smacks me in the face with a little reminder to stay focused on what I want and not what I don’t! Today, I figure I can offer a little real-life proof of the law of attraction for those who are skeptical about it. Or, if nothing else, maybe you could use a laugh, or a reminder. 
 
Either way, I hope you’re sitting down–and trust me, you’re going to want to read this post.
 
Because this time?
 
The Universe actually BIT me for being a bitch. No kidding.
 
Now, don’t get me wrong. In general, I feel pretty awesome about my life. I am seriously blessed, for real.

This is thanks (in part) to a personal effort to avoid saying, feeling or thinking negative things as often as possible, as well as to focus only on what I want in my life (and not what I don’t).

I know for sure that every success I’ve reported has been directly related to the power of intentional thought and my ability to focus on what is desired instead of what is not.

 So yeah, I am USUALLY pretty good about keeping myself in the right kind of vibrational field, so to speak – or at least, getting myself back on track pretty quickly and without incident when I do allow something to temporarily affect my peaceful, happy and productive state.
 
And, based on my experiences before and after these thought-monitoring and maintenance practices, they work. Which means, of course, that the law of attraction has proven legitimate – at least for me.
 
Want a funny (and kind of horribly painful) example of the law of attraction in action that just happened to me yesterday?
 
Bitten Back By Bitchiness: My Scary Story
 
It all started when I became fed up with a certain “Poor Me” type-person I know who was posting all kinds of victim-mentality-type status updates on Facebook. I had heard enough of it, and I had very compassionately attempted to help the person overcome this self-injuring attitude on more than one occasion already. I had already seen repeated proof of the fact that this person’s attitude was affecting life for him, and at that point, I was just…done. Exhausted.
 
Tired of trying to make him understand.
 
Over it.
 
And then, the bitch came out – that part of me that I don’t even usually realize exists.
 
That’s when, in an admittedly passive-aggressive, inappropriately bitchy mood after the latest assault on my senses,  I posted this status:
 

“Holy crap I am biting my tongue so hard I think it’s bleeding.”

 
Obviously I meant that I was  figuratively biting my tongue as in not saying what I felt like saying.
 
Clearly, it was a tongue-in-cheek statement (pun totally intended, obvs). And yet, the Universe, the law of attraction? It’s all neutral. There is no sarcasm or figurative. Especially when you’re a very annoyed but sometimes overly polite person who can’t always bring herself to break a person’s heart by saying the things they really need to hear (because, honestly, it’s not your problem, and you’re not trying to bring all that drama into your life…but anyhoo).
 
Yeah. So I threw a little snippy out into the Universe. And then, it threw a little right back at me.
 
The Universe is probably laughing a little right now, thinking I deserved what I got. And yeah, it’s probably right. Which is why I’m here, writing this post for you, my friend. I am here to tell you to take this stuff seriously. If you don’t, you might find yourself getting bitten back.
 
Are you ready for this? 
 
I’m pretty sure the Universe was all, “Listen, you’re doing so great. Stop being a bitch and get back on track toward what you really want.”
 
Aaaannnd, it’s pretty clear that I was all, “La, la, la…I can’t hear youuuuu!”
 
Because, there I was, sleeping soundly and having some awesome kind of dream (probably, I don’t actually know if I was dreaming, because of some kind of post-traumatic amnesia due to what I’m about to tell you next).
 
That’s when the universe showed me that this law of attraction thing sometimes works quite literally, because I quite literally bit my tongue so hard in my sleep that the searing pain ripped me from my sweet sleep with a screaming shock.
 
And guess what, friend? My freaking tongue was also quite literally bleeding.
 
Yep.
 
Literally.
 
Bleeding.
 
So, hours after posting the bitchy and unnecessarily passive-aggressive Facebook status, I literally “bit my tongue so hard it was bleeding.” Yeah, that’s right. It can work that fast.
 
How’s that for proof?
 
Now, think about this. Take this whole deal and look at it from the other side. If I had changed my mind and focused on something awesome instead of throwing out a little bitchy into the Universe (or even just stopped propagating the bitch-factor by sending that energy out there!), maybe I’d have slept through the night bite-free, at the very least.
 
Or, I don’t know. Maybe something even better could’ve happened. But I’m not going to dwell on that, and do you know why? Because, as I’ve just been painfully reminded, the law of attraction works and my thoughts really do create my reality. And here’s what I’m thinking now: I just wrote a post that might change someone’s life. And maybe that’ll change my life too. Do you think?
 
Let’s all think happy thoughts, because happy thoughts work. For real.
 
In any case, this experience (along with all of the other experiences and understandings leading up to this point) prove to me one of the things that has become a true core value for me:
 
You get to define your life, your Self and the world you choose to accept.  It starts with your own perception. Or, to put it simply – if you want to create positive change in your life, you’ve got to start by changing your mind. Change your mind to change your life.
 
What do you think about that?
 
The Kate Moss Theory: Stop Dressing Like a Wife and Improve Your Marriage

The Kate Moss Theory: Stop Dressing Like a Wife and Improve Your Marriage

“[My husband] would go mental if I started dressing like a wife! He likes me when I’m a rock n roll kind of a girl.” ~Kate Moss

kate mossLook, I’m well aware of the controversy that was stirred up in the blogosphere when supermodel Kate Moss made the statement quoted above. But the woman had a point–and I don’t mean that all wives dress like crap.

I mean that many wives become a bit…complacent…after awhile. (I know because I’ve been there, too!)

Some women even justify walking around in sweats and tshirts day and night, week after week, and get offended when you suggest that they do otherwise.

Those women might as well just either stop reading now, or change their minds and prepare for a dose of tough love–because I’m about to drop some truth bombs.

So, I’ve been married a hundred years or so (ok, really, it’s closer to 15, but still). And I know that a lot of women in my position (and in fact, a lot of women in long-term relationships, in general) are likely to eventually slow down on the getting all dolled up.

“Kate Moss and I don’t have much in common, but I think she is quite right to avoid dressing ‘like a wife’,” writes Helen Kirwin Taylor. “By this, she means she’s refusing to adopt the slovenly uniform of tracksuit bottoms and shapeless tops so many women embrace when they no longer have to worry about snaring a man. I would never think about sitting down for dinner with my husband without slipping into something stylish and alluring, brushing my hair and applying lipstick.”

Helen, I am totally with you, girl.

Wives: Why You Should Still Care About Your Appearance

angie3Obviously, if you want to be considered a hot wife, you need to consider how your appearance is perceived.

Sure, you might think it’s shallow–but my guess is that since you’re here reading this post, you know that this stuff goes a little deeper than one might realize at first glance.

I still get all dolled up on a pretty regular basis–in fact, I literally will not leave the house unless I look reasonably cute.

While my husband sometimes pretends this annoys him (because sometimes it takes me a minute to get ready), the truth is that he appreciates the fact that I care about how I look–because it makes me more attractive to him. I know this because he says so.

I also make an effort to look cute even when I’m working at home or just lounging around the house.

Why do I do it? Well, let me spell it out for you.

Because he works with tons of hot women (hello ladies!)

My husband works in a corporate office full of beautiful, stylish and intelligent women. While he would never say so, I know that if he came home to a frumped up mommy-stereotype each day, he might start noticing the ladies he works with for more than their fun personalities and ability to work well with him.

I don’t need to compete–I know he loves me and would never do anything to hurt me, regardless of what I look like–but still, I prefer to keep his attention on me, so I make sure to pay attention to my appearance.

Because it makes me feel better about myself

The truth is that the primary reason I care about how I look so much is that I simply FEEL better when I look better. And I’m not alone–just think about it. When was the last time you felt particularly beautiful? Let me guess–it probably involved a really good hair day, or one of those perfect outfit days. Yep.

So, take care of your appearance and you feel better–then you become more self-confident, friendlier, more fun and generally HOTTER. It’s true.

Because it makes my relationship stronger

I know, appearance SHOULDN’T matter, but the fact is that it does. You see, it’s really easy to get so comfortable with each other that you forget to care what your spouse thinks about how you look. And maybe he forgets too–but most likely, he’s well aware of it.

Even if he’s one of those awesome guys who totally loves you and would never even consider straying, he still notices–and he will appreciate it if you make an effort to be attractive for him.

So, in addition to your self-confidence and your actual more attractive appearance, your better attitude will shine through, and that, my friends? That makes you super hot–and I promise you, he WILL notice.

While there is no one look that can be called hot, making an effort with your appearance on a daily basis can literally improve the quality of your life–and of your marriage.

What do you think? Do you make an effort to look HOT for your husband? Why or why not? What tips would you offer other wives? Share your thoughts, experiences and ideas in the comments section, below.

Hot Wife Inspirations: Phenomenal Woman

Hot Wife Inspirations: Phenomenal Woman

phenom womanPhenomenal Woman is a brief but very soul-affecting poem that most women could find some inspiration in–especially those who are learning to be HOT WIVES! Not only is this one of my all-time favorite poems, but it’s one of my “go-to” confidence boosters!

I’m sharing this poem today as one of our first Hot Wife Inspirations, which will include poems, quotes, songs and more. Stay tuned!

Phenomenal Woman

By Dr. Maya Angelou

Pretty women wonder where my secret lies.
I’m not cute or built to suit a fashion model’s size
But when I start to tell them,
They think I’m telling lies.
I say,
It’s in the reach of my arms
The span of my hips,
The stride of my step,
The curl of my lips.
I’m a woman
Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That’s me.

I walk into a room
Just as cool as you please,
And to a man,
The fellows stand or
Fall down on their knees.
Then they swarm around me,
A hive of honey bees.
I say,
It’s the fire in my eyes,
And the flash of my teeth,
The swing in my waist,
And the joy in my feet.
I’m a woman
Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That’s me.

Men themselves have wondered
What they see in me.
They try so much
But they can’t touch
My inner mystery.
When I try to show them
They say they still can’t see.
I say,
It’s in the arch of my back,
The sun of my smile,
The ride of my breasts,
The grace of my style.
I’m a woman

Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That’s me.

Now you understand
Just why my head’s not bowed.
I don’t shout or jump about
Or have to talk real loud.
When you see me passing
It ought to make you proud.
I say,
It’s in the click of my heels,
The bend of my hair,
the palm of my hand,
The need of my care,
‘Cause I’m a woman
Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That’s me.

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