“Wherever you go, no matter what the weather, always bring your own sunshine.” ~Anthony J. D’Angelo
Ever notice how spending time with negative people can be absolutely exhausting? And yet, when you spend time with happy, loving people, you come away feeling refreshed.
Which one do you wanna be? I’ll take happy and loving, any day. How about you?
The Negative Co-Worker: How I Accidentally Lost a Friend In my early 20s, I went through some stuff. Ultimately, I got divorced and ended up being a single mom (though four years later, I remarried and had two more kids – we’ve been together 15 years now).
Anyway, back then, I got an office job and quickly met a co-worker fellow single mom.
We instantly clicked and became fast friends and lunch buddies. At first, I did what I do: as an empath, I tend to be able to talk to anyone by bringing myself to their energy levels and finding things we share in common.
But after awhile, I realized that my new friend was kinda…well, negative. Every day at lunch and on breaks, all she would do is complain about all the things that were wrong with her life.
Oh, and if it wasn’t what was wrong with HER, it was what she didn’t like about everyone else in the office.
At first, I tried to influence her in a positive way without actually mentioning to her that the negativity bothered me. And when that didn’t work, I verbally explained that it made me uncomfortable when she gossiped or indulged in a lot of unnecessary negative stuff.
She ignored it. And yeah.
It made me pretty crazy, I’m not going to lie to you. But soon, I got a clue and started joining a larger group for lunch. My friend didn’t like that – she wanted to be one-on-one, and even though I invited her to join me, she never did, instead preferring to eat alone or with one of the temps, now and then.
This co-worker may have even been a narcissist – and an introverted one at that. But not every negative person is a narcissist.
How to deal with negative people (without becoming one)
Is someone’s negativity bringing you down? Every day, you’re most likely exposed to a variety of situations.
Some, you’ll perceive as positive, others neutral, and others negative. If the unpleasant ones seem to be the majority in your life, just know that it’s all up to you – which means YOU can change that.
Is it really possible to stay positive around negative people?
The short answer is yes, it is possible. Keep reading – I”ll explain how.
Can we completely eliminate negative people from our lives?
Up to a point, you can. Unfortunately, a certain number negative experiences can be a natural part of life.
Maybe your boss got up on the wrong side of the bed today and is a bit cranky. Or maybe your spouse had a rough day at work and is being really vocal about it – or the kids are fighting (again) over something that seems pointless.
These types of situations can set you up for potential negative experiences.
So how do you respond when you’re dealing with someone who is negative?
6 Good-Mood Hacks for Dealing with Negative People
Try the following strategies to help you get centered and try to stay positive around negative people.
1. Step back. Acknowledge that getting involved in negativity is not good for you. The first thing to do is recognize the results of jumping into the stream of negativity. If you truly connect with the idea that you wish to bring only positivity into your life, you’ll be more focused on making efforts to do so.
Commit to yourself that you’ll do whatever is necessary to avoid engaging with negativity. Having the awareness that negativity runs counter to your life goals will motivate you to abstain from participating in it.
2. Listen well; then withhold comment. Others’ negative remarks can feel quite seductive. Many of us allow ourselves to be pulled in to the emotional experience of the situation being discussed. However, if you listen actively, but refrain from commenting, you can avoid making the experience your own.
Plus, those who are bringing negativity your way will avoid doing so in the future since you didn’t sign on with their emotional reactions and did nothing to reinforce them.
3. Change the subject. When you’ve just heard some unsavory words, why not bring up something that’s less stressful and more positive? For example, if your co-worker says she’s annoyed with your supervisor, you could ask her how another project she’s pleased to be working on is progressing.
4. If you’re in a group, simply ignore the negativity. Most likely, if there are two or three others present when an nonconstructive discussion starts up, you can get by with ignoring the negativity or excusing yourself from the room. Sometimes, you can express the most by saying nothing at all.
5. Make an effort to be involved in something else. Involving yourself in something that matters to you is a great method of subliminally refusing to participate in others’ negativity. Look through your handbag for that receipt you couldn’t find last night. Search your briefcase for your schedule book or that file with the information you wanted earlier.
6. Psychologically reinforce your efforts. Say to yourself, “You handled that really well.” or “It was a great idea to leave the table when they all started criticizing how the boss handled something.”
Allow yourself to feel proud of yourself about not joining in with the negativity around you. Avoid letting others’ negativity bring you down.
Instead, recognize that you’d rather not be exposed to such situations and people. When negativity blooms around you, listen and say nothing, change the subject, or ignore it. Reinforce your efforts to avoid habitual negativity every single day, and you can say good-bye to nonconstructive thoughts.
What would you add? What do you consider the best ways to stay positive around negative people? Share your thoughts in the comments, below.
There are people all over that are searching for the perfect exercise program to help them lose weight and be healthier. What makes us choose a specific program or attend that exercise class? Why do we like specific trainers or coaches? Because finding an exercise you enjoy or a trainer that you connect with isn’t always easy, and when we do find what we seek we stick with it and tend to gravitate back towards what works.
Personally I love Beachbody. Shaun T if you want me to be more specific. I am not a Beachbody coach, however, I should become one because I promote their products so often. Beachbody and I have a history that dates back years.
I had both of my feet operated on at the same time and could not walk for 4 months. You should have seen me hobbling around with a stool to support me like a walker, and that was only after I spent the first 3 months crawling on my hands and knees every time I had to get out of bed. Needless to say I sat in bed for 4 months straight eating whatever I wanted. When I went back to the doctor and weighed myself I was astonished to see that I was 205 lbs. That was over a 35lb weight gain. I knew I had gained some weight but 35lbs? Sheesh!
My friend at the time was a Beachbody coach and had recently lost weight doing a program called Insanity. I signed up and ordered that program THE DAY the doctor said I could start walking again. Within that week I was opening my first Beachbody box and pressing play on my DVD player. I stood looking at the TV for the entire routine in awe. I watched that first workout like it was a movie I couldn’t get enough of. I knew deep down that I was never ever going to be able to complete that workout like those people but I was going to give it my best shot!
After the DVD was over I went to change my clothes. And pee… I’ve had 4 kids I need to pee before and during (sometimes twice) and after every workout. I went back into my living room and pressed play on what was the first of many Beachbody and Shaun T workouts. I had just started a journey in my life that was going to take me exactly where I wanted to be… fit and healthy.
I made it 6 minutes and had to stop and puke. Pausing the workout of course. I sat down and rested for about 20 minutes and got back up and pressed play to resume where I had left off. I was not stopping. I was determined to do this! I made it until the 20 minute mark and then decided that every day I would make it a little further. Push myself a little more. I’m only in a race with myself, no one else.
I got my family involved. My husband was doing every workout with me. My kids were happily trying new things with exercise and eating healthy. I had a great support system that I built myself. I knew I needed to stay on track and this was the way to do it! I had a workout partner, my husband, to motivate me and kids who were interested in participating and learning about how to be healthy. I surrounded myself with being healthy.
I got better and stronger. My push-ups went from falling on the ground to actual push-ups (I was so proud of myself). But I didn’t stop and that is the key. I was able to finally complete the first 10 minutes of Insanity without stopping, which is only the workout. I not only could complete them by the end of my first session but I could “keep up” with Shaun T. I loved the jumping jacks. I loved going faster and faster and faster. I would move so fast I outpaced my 14 year old daughter. I still could not complete the entire workout all the way though at the end of my first session though. So I started it again. I made myself complete the workout and the cool down every time on that second session of Insanity. It killed me and made me stronger all at once.
Shaun T was the magic man with the right words to help push me further and further each day. He is a great guy and I soon purchased Hip Hop Abs and combined that Shaun T Beachbody workout with my Insanity every day. I couldn’t get enough of Shaun T!!! He was inspiring me to be better and it was working! I ordered Shakeology and added that to my meal schedule even. YUM!
My body got stronger and more tone. I lost a lot of my baby belly and the weight came off. I went from 205 lbs to 153 lbs. I was happy and proud and I went shopping and bought tons of clothes. I started my third session of Insanity. Ready to take on the world.
Then my husband died.
I fell off course. I fell hard. I didn’t eat for about 2 months and then ate whatever I wanted for the next year and a half. I stopped exercising the day he died. I tried starting my Insanity again and again. I tried running. I tried working out with other people. I couldn’t get back in my groove and I was gaining weight. I hurt on the inside so bad and no one could see it. Not only had I lost someone who was my best friend but I had also started gaining back weight and I had worked so hard to keep it off.
So I kept eating. I kept not exercising. I simply stopped caring.
Then I met someone else. Well, I knew him previously and he helped me through my husband’s death. He helped my daughter through her father’s death. When we started a relationship I became ashamed of my body. I no longer liked what I saw in the mirror. I had gained 25 lbs. That was a LOT to me! I was scared to step on the scale and when it told me my new number I felt my stomach drop.
Okay. Alright! It’s time to deal, time to cope, time to be happy again. So here I am. Before you today.
I am tired of life getting in the way of what I want to do. I don’t have a lot of time in my schedule anymore to workout 3 hours. I can make the time but I have other things more pressing that I need to attend to. I followed my instincts back to Beachbody to search for a program that would fit in my schedule and was by my favorite coach Shaun T. I quickly came across T25 and ordered it a few weeks back. I have done a couple exercise routines and I like them. I like seeing Shaun T every day again. I like how my body hurts when I walk up the stairs. I am falling down on my push-ups, that is almost more painful to me than the weight gain. I will do a proper push-up again soon!!
I am going to get better. I will not stop. I will push myself. I will succeed. I will not give up hope that I can be healthy and happy all at the same time.
Body envy. I am not going to lie to you. It used to be a HUUUUUUUGE issue for me. Pun entirely intended. In fact, my research tells me I’m not alone. Luckily, I’ve found the cure and I’m happy to share it with you.
Perfect Pictures Predicate Pouty People
It happens every single time when those infomercials featuring perfectly proportioned models pop onto the television screen promising an enviable body weight if you’ll just fork over enough cash to make you skinny forever.
Even though you know there’s no magic pill that guarantees overnight success, sometimes it’s tempting to dole out the money.
It’s enticing because losing weight is a struggle, and a vicious uphill battle that’s not always so easily fought.
The appeal to find a quick fix hits you every now and then – especially when you’ve worked hard to lose a little bit of weight and then you fall off the diet wagon and gain it all back (and then some).
We have all had the daunting thought, “There has to be an easier way to lose weight!”
Have you purchased every weight loss book ever published, forced down the diet bars, consumed the shakes, and attended the weight loss meetings so many times you could have paid for the entire building by the time you quit?
Have you done all of this and yet you still haven’t seen the long-term results that you crave more than food itself?
Are you sick and tired of trying, but you still know you need to lose weight so that you can have a healthier life? Or maybe you only need to lose a few pounds to fit into that new outfit or look good for an upcoming class reunion.
You know you want to lose weight, but you don’t want a gimmick and you certainly don’t want to keep going down a road that leads nowhere.
You just want to find a plan that really works for you without all of the empty promises. There’s something you might not know about the battle of the bulge – something that can help you gain the victory once and for all without having to resort to any costly plans or fancy gimmicks.
Best of all, the way you can lose weight can be found in your own refrigerator, in your pantry or at your grocery store. By the way, this little known method of losing weight won’t break your wallet. I guarantee it.
Understanding the Basics of Weight Loss
To understand how weight loss works, you have to first understand how calories work. A calorie is energy given in the foods you eat. Your body uses this energy as fuel. Think of it as wood for a fireplace. If you put in too much wood, the fire gets too hot and there’s too much heat produced.
In the same manner, too much consumption of calories, especially those foods with empty calories, equals an overabundance of fuel. The same way you would store wood in stacked piles for your fireplace, the body stacks an overabundance of calories as fat.
It then takes that fat and adds it to the places you don’t want it put. Then you see results like a tummy that laps over the top of your jeans – often called a muffin top – or you discover the results are flabby thighs or a double chin.
To make the battle of weight loss even more discouraging, that fat, and its cellulite, can give you a lumpy, bumpy look.
Cellulite are pockets of that stored fat beneath the surface of your skin. In other words, it’s the chocolate cake or donuts or the second helping of carbohydrates if those calories aren’t burned.
Now, all of that’s the bad news. But the good news is, you don’t have to accept being overweight as your fate (no matter how many times you’ve fallen off the diet wagon in the past).
Because this weight loss technique is easy and inexpensive, so you can stick with it forever. Not only can you stay on the plan, but you’ll find you actually enjoy it!
Your Body’s Secret Workout
When you watch a movie, what you see is the finished product. All of the actors and actresses stand where they’re supposed to. They say their lines like a pro and they look good doing it.
What you don’t see happening is the chapped hands and runny noses from filming outside in below zero weather or the nights filming lasted until two in the morning. You didn’t see what went on behind the show.
Many people sit down to eat a meal or a snack and never give a second’s thought to what goes on behind the scenes once the food is finished.
Everyone knows how you gain weight and most of us are pros at the gaining. We gain by eating too much of the wrong kinds of food.
But what if I told you something about your own body that could help you lose weight?
Your body has to work to digest each bite of food you put into your mouth. What does that have to do with anything?
It’s simple: Because your body is expending energy to digest the food, it’s actually sort of performing a silent workout.
Sounds great, right? Your body is working out without you having to lift a finger.
Picture this: your body is burning energy to digest the food while you watch television, while you talk on the phone, drive to work and even while you sleep. It sounds like a fantastic win-win situation doesn’t it?
If it’s so fantastic, then why are some people still overweight? Because you’re not eating the right kinds of foods. You’re still stuck measuring portions and counting carbs and assigning foods as good or bad.
Truth? There is no such thing. Food is simply fuel. All of it is. But how (and at what rate) the fuel is burned depends on the foods you eat because it correlates to how it makes your body work. Still follow me?
Negative Calorie Foods – Your Body’s Secret Weapon
What if you discovered you could lose weight simply with the foods you choose to eat? Foods that help you work off calories simply by eating them. It sounds too good to be true, doesn’t it?
But it’s not.
There are foods that make your digestive system use more energy to consume them than the calories contained in the foods themselves.
When you use more energy to digest a food than the caloric value of a food, then those foods are called negative calorie foods. By eating these negative calorie foods, you will burn calories and you will lose weight effortlessly.
Let’s say you have a slice of chocolate cheesecake from the store bakery and you consume roughly 350 calories (or more depending on the type of ingredients used). Once you’ve eaten that slice of cheesecake, your body goes to work breaking it down and beginning the digestion process.
Let’s say your body burns 150 calories digesting that cake (and that’s probably figuring the amount burned on the high end). You’re still left with a gain of 200 calories.
These calories will turn into unwanted fat and weight gain if not used as energy by the body. Now remember, the amount of calories you burn by eating negative calorie food will depend on the type of food it is.
Instead of the chocolate cheesecake, let’s say for example that you chose an apple instead. A medium sized apple has approximately 80 calories. You eat the apple and then the digestion process begins.
Because an apple is a negative calorie food, your body works harder to digest it than you gain in calories by eating it.
The difference in negative calorie foods is comparable to the difference between walking and running.
When you go for a low key walk, you don’t expend the same amount of energy you would if you were running.
Let’s Do the Math
Math was never my favorite subject in school, but this kind of math is the kind I love. So let’s go back to the foods.
If you eat that apple, you’ve ingested around 80 calories. Your body begins the digestion workout and without you having to do anything, burns calories.
Let’s say as an example, that your body burns around 100 to 110 calories. We’ll split that and say the body burned 105 calories. To eat that 80 calorie apple, you would have burned an extra 25 calories.
If you had the slice of chocolate cheesecake, but felt the urge to eat the apple afterward, you would then be 25 calories to the good on the cheesecake.
Boiled down, it means that 350 calorie cheesecake minus the 25 extra calories you burned by eating the apple leaves you with 175 calories charged against your caloric intake for the cheesecake rather than the entire calorie count for the cheesecake.
However, unlike math, there is no simple formula that can subtract months or years of eating the wrong way. But with a little addition of the right kind of foods – negative calorie ones, you can erase those pounds and keep them off.
There are a few things to keep in mind with any type of diet. The more involved a diet is, the less success most people achieve in the long run.
Studies have shown that the more elaborate a weight loss plan is, the less likely the person is to stick with it to the end because we like things basic and to the point.
That’s why negative calorie foods are an ideal weight loss plan for people who want to lose weight, want to get healthy and want a simple method but need a little something extra working in their favor.
Your own digestive system can give you that boost you need to keep going until you’ve reached your goal weight. By using your body’s own digestive system, you can actually change the equation.
Stealing From the Store
If you’re a junk food junkie, you probably have more than your share of fat stored – fat you would love to see disappear.
Remember the apple math?
If you have fat stored from junk food and you start eating negative calorie foods, what’s going to happen is those negative calorie foods are going to begin stealing from you.
These foods are going to take the fat your body put in store and they’re going to begin using it. Why? Because it took more energy to consume that negative food than the negative food had to give.
That energy deficit had to be made up somehow and your body knows just where to get it.
When you eat negative calorie foods, your body works hard enough to pull the nutrients and energy from the foods to the point that the food calories don’t count.
If there’s not enough energy in the foods your body digests to perform the job, like a car putting in more gas, your body will pull up to the pump – in this case the fat stores – and get whatever it needs to finish the task.
I know what you’re thinking!
“This is one thief I wouldn’t mind having around!”
But Are These Negative Calorie Foods Good For You?
Are you thinking there must be a catch? That negative calorie foods are some type of exotic food with names you can’t pronounce? With all the benefits we’ve talked about that come from eating negative calorie foods, they can’t possibly be good for you, right?
In fact, negative calorie foods are exactly the kinds of foods doctors not only recommend that you eat, but also encourage patients to do so for weight loss and disease prevention.
What are these mystery foods? They’re certain fruits and vegetables. Since experts agree that more fruits and vegetables are a good thing for everyone, negative calorie foods are a great weight loss plan.
A Brief List of Negative-Calorie Foods
This isn’t a complete list, but for an easy reference, I’ll mention some of those foods for you.
There’s nothing odd about that list of vegetables or fruits. They’re just ordinary foods with the power to create negative calories upon consumption.
Now don’t get confused thinking that the phrase ‘negative calorie foods’ means that the foods don’t have any calories, because that isn’t the case at all.
The food you eat does contain calories – your body just has to work so hard to digest them that you wind up with a caloric deficit once it’s all said and done.
Is it safe to eat negative calorie foods?
Yes, it’s safe. You can’t overdose on negative calorie foods. Unlike heavily advertised pills and gimmicks, there are no ill effects to eating negative calorie foods because they’re healthy for your body – working to keep it naturally lean and strong enough to produce the energy you need throughout the day.