Learn to Love Yourself, Live the Life You Want: 8 Simple Steps

Learn to Love Yourself, Live the Life You Want: 8 Simple Steps

create yourself“You are very powerful, provided you know how powerful you are.” ~Yogi Bhajan

When you like the person you are, making life choices becomes easier because you trust your own judgment. You recognize that you have the power to create whatever it is that you want for yourself and your family.

Try these strategies to raise your self-esteem:

  1. Stay in tune with your thoughts. Notice when you’re thinking negatively about yourself. When you can identify the types of situations in which you tend to put yourself down, you can then do something about them.
  1. Squelch unhelpful thinking. After you take notice of the situations that trigger those negative thoughts, you can set out to stop such thoughts or at least divert them. Do so by developing your own imagery technique.
  • Imagine a stop sign and tell yourself to “stop negativity now.”
  • Visualize that you’re at the beach or your grandmother’s house, where you always feel relaxed and self-assured.
  • Another way to quell unwelcome ideas is to seek out something positive in the situations you find challenging. For example, if you feel you’re socially inept, make it a point to help others open up to you by asking questions about their work or hobbies. You’ll likely find some common ground for a great conversation.
  • Learning to stop negative thinking increases your self-confidence and emphasizes that you choose your own path rather than a recurring, unfocused thought pattern.

3. Know your strengths.Occasionally reflecting on what you’re good at will help you see that you’re cherished, important, and helpful to yourself and others. List everything you can think of that you do well. Be generous. If nobody makes a ham sandwich like you do, write it down. If you consistently win at golf, include it. Make your list longer and longer. Keep adding to it. Challenge yourself to add one strength a month to your list. As your list grows, so will your positive feelings about yourself.

  1. Underscore your unique or quirky aspects. If you can recite the name of every major Manga comic book or all the elements on the chemistry table, you’re a truly unique individual. Embrace these special talents with the care and attention they deserve. Plus, there’s likely someone out there looking for the off-beat talent or knowledge you hold.
  1. Accept your positives and negatives. Learn to accept the parts of you that you’ve tried to reject in the past. See those less desirable aspects as insurance that you’re a member of the human race.
  • Personal acceptance helps you see that everything in life has a delicate balance and all parts of you create the very special “you” that you are.
  1. Stay focused to live your best life. Although it’s wise to be aware of your less than positive aspects, focusing on the good things will help you excel and continue accomplishing your goals. Keep moving ahead.
  1. Every morning, make the decision to be in a “good mood.” It’s a lot easier to accept who you are when you feel good about this day. Open yourself to the possibilities around you.
  1. Set goals that you want to accomplish. Rather than working toward what your parents or friends think you should do, search within yourself what you’d like to work for in life and then go for it. Life is a lot more fun when you choose what you want.

Liking yourself allows you to share with others all the good you have in your heart. And the more you do, the more positive energy you have flowing in to your life. Set out today to put these tips into action. You’ll enjoy your best life ever!

Faking It ‘Til You Make It on a Roller Coaster (to the Life of Your Dreams)

Faking It ‘Til You Make It on a Roller Coaster (to the Life of Your Dreams)

“Life is like a roller coaster, live it, be happy, enjoy life.” ~Avril Lavigne

I don’t know about you, but sometimes, when I need to understand a concept, a concrete example helps a lot. So, if you’re struggling to understand the concept of learning to create the life of your dreams, I hope that you’ll be able to find some connection to it through my own personal experience with a roller coaster.

It’s no joke–the first time I ever intentionally chose to change my life and recognized that I’d succeeded, I was only 9 years old–and it involved a roller coaster.

Change Your Mind, Change Your life: My Philosophy

As you may or may not be aware, I have a philosophy that has served me quite well: I believe that anyone can choose the life she wants if she does so intentionally. I believe that you bring about what you think about, that you get back what you put out there–karma, the law of attraction, the Golden Rule–call it whatever you want.

It works pretty consistently. It turns out that the way you choose to perceive any situation can and will affect the outcome.

The fact that my first memory of a conscious attempt and success at using this concept to my advantage  happened before my 10th birthday is proof enough for me–but if that weren’t enough, the result was certainly a confirmation.

How the Roller Coaster Comes Into Play

So there I was, 9 years old and at Six Flags with friends–and not a care in the world–except, that is, for one thing: a horrible fear of roller coasters, upside-down rides and anything with a reputation for making one vomit.

I was so terrified of them that I felt like a big baby (remember, I was 9!), and I remember thinking: “I don’t want to feel like this. I wish I wasn’t so afraid to go on these rides…”

That day, I made a choice.

I decided that I was going to FAKE IT. (At least until I made it!)

Faking It Til You Make It: A Concrete Exanple

When I say fake it til you make it, I mean to behave AS IF what you want has already happened.

So, in the case of the roller coaster, I decided that day that I would PRETEND to love the roller coaster, and that I would pretend SO HARD that I WOULD figure out how to learn to love it.

And guess what? I totally did it–I faked it (acted happy when I wanted to scream–smiled and threw my arms up in the air while I laughed and cheered when I wanted to hold on and beg them to stop the ride.)

And then–the crazy thing.

It happened. That day. I learned to love the roller coaster, and became a bit of a junkie after awhile (the thrill of the perceived risk was kind of awesome, it turned out!!).

I mean, sure, at first, I was totally faking it. But by the end of the day, I truly GOT IT–the reason people loved roller coasters. It was not about being excited to have yourself all flipped upside-down and inside out; it was about overcoming the fear by throwing yourself into the experience.

Your Perception Defines Your Life

As a result of that momentary and seemingly insignificant thing, my 9-year-old self learned something that I’d carry with me for the rest of my life: that not only could I choose my own reaction and thus my experience, but by doing so, I could positively influence the outcome of my day and even my life.

True story.

So tell me, do you believe that you have the power to change your own life? If not, tell me why. If so, tell me about your own experiences that “proved it” for you!

 

 

 

 

Forgiveness is the Antecdote for a Toxic Life

Forgiveness is the Antecdote for a Toxic Life

“Always forgive your enemies – nothing annoys them so much.” ~Oscar Wilde

When was the last time someone really pissed you off, hurt your feelings or shocked you (in a negative way) with their behavior?

People can be cruel–let’s face it, some of them are downright assholes who bring a serious element of toxicity into your life. They say and do the meanest, most damaging things. I have been personally shocked on more than one occasion at the blatant rudeness of some people.

(This is especially the case when we’re talking about narcissists!)

When it happens to you…

Having been a victim of unkind treatment, you’re probably reeling with anger. You feel like forgiveness is the least suitable response you can give.                

Surprisingly, however, forgiveness is the quickest and most lasting way to get over the anger and hurt! But how can you just forgive someone who has hurt you so?

Achieve true forgiveness and gain peace with these approaches:

Confront the issue. It’s very easy to want to block negative situations out of your consciousness, but that approach may be causing more anger than you know!

  • Take a hard look at the issue. Say aloud, “This happened to me.” Doing that may cause some of the feelings to resurface. But when you’re done crying, you’ll likely be free from tears going forward.

What happened was a thing of the past. It happened, and you’re still here to tell the tale. Is it really worth affecting your peace of mind? It’s probably time to move on with your life!

Consider your involvement. Perhaps you didn’t consciously trigger a reaction from the other person. But there could very well be something that affected them. They just chose to address it in an unhealthy and unhelpful way!

  • It’s really not about playing the blame game. One human being has no right to offend or hurt another. If you were offended, take a look in the mirror before deciding how to deal with it. You’ll likely recall scenarios where you may have wronged someone as well!

Wear the offender’s shoes. Consider how it must feel for the person who now realizes that they hurt you considerably. After the initial emotion passes, they start to feel regret for their actions.

  • It’s always a good idea to try and switch roles. See it from their viewpoint. If you’re yearning for someone’s forgiveness, you’ll likely rejoice when you finally get it.

Consider the impact of anger on your life. When you hold on to the anger and resentment, it starts to eat away at you. Whether or not you know it, your happiness ends up being a fraction of what it could be. Anger negatively affects your quality of life!

  • Do you find yourself being short-tempered with loved ones and friends? You may feel your reaction is justified. But if you think about it, you might see that you overreacted.
  • Take some time to consider why you’re so angry or maybe sad. Grudges almost always bring and sustain negative emotions that can affect you long-term.

Once you try these approaches, you’ll experience the benefits of forgiving those who offended you. You’ll see how useless it is to allow the negative emotions of holding on to your hurts to drag down your quality of life. In fact, you’ll likely want to go back and forgive everyone who has ever hurt you!

Learn to freely forgive others and give your mind the rest it deserves for a peaceful, truly happy life.

What the Food Pyramid Can Teach You about Communicating Effectively

What the Food Pyramid Can Teach You about Communicating Effectively

USDA_Food_PyramidIf you’re old enough to be reading this, you’re probably old enough to remember the USDA food pyramid. That colorful triangle divided into sections showed the recommended amounts for each food group, and guided generations of Americans through making healthier food choices.

Although it was eventually replaced by the new and improved MyPlate diagram, it can still teach you a lot about communications. Consider the pyramid when you’re trying to develop and share an important message.

Pyramid Lessons for Developing a Message

  1. Use everyday examples. Any communication becomes more vivid and interesting if it’s tied to real life. Explain $10 to your child by telling them how much pizza it would buy.

  2. Quantify your statements. While the figures sometimes changed over the years, the pyramid always gave a recommended number of servings for each food group. Numbers provide clarity and make any claims sound more convincing.
  3. Divide items into categories.It’s easier to remember a long list of facts if they’re sorted into logical groups. Maybe your monthly department reports would look better if you added sub-headers to the format.

  4. Draw pictures. Illustrations sometimes have greater impact than words. Make your correspondence livelier by including images that will grab people’s attention. Take your own photos or browse online for images in the public domain.

  5. Simplify information. With complex subjects like nutrition, it’s easy to get lost in vast amounts of material. Pick out a few key points to focus on.

  6. Offer additional details. Make it easy for people to learn more. Provide opportunities to ask questions and read further.
  7. Try color coding. Streamline your presentation by conveying information through color choices. It can help you say more in fewer words.

  8. Write lists. People joke about lists but they still read them. Turn some of your best content into Top 10 lineups.
  9. Keep it brief. Package some content into short blurbs. Be ready with an elevator pitch and daily tips.

Pyramid Lessons for Sharing a Message

  1. Encourage one change at time. Nutrition experts urged people to fill at least half their plate with vegetables and fruit before moving on to discussing other habits. Ask an employee to work on a single positive change rather than overwhelming them with multiple demands.
  2. Create sub-messages. The pyramid was accompanied by different materials for everyone from preschoolers to health care professionals. Take your audience into account.
  3. Consult experts. Physicians and farmers contributed to the food pyramid. When you’re coordinating your own projects, reach out for specialized knowledge and diverse views.
  4. Recruit partners. Similarly, the government invited schools, community groups and other organizations to spread the word about making more nutritious food choices. Think about who you can work with to become more effective.
  5. Expect good things to spread. You may be surprised to learn that even though the USDA food pyramid was the most famous of its kind, it was Sweden that came up with the concept. Promising ideas travel far.

  6. Be open to improvements. As mentioned, the pyramid thrived for almost 20 years before getting upgraded into the new MyPlate. However successful a venture may be, something better may come along. Welcome changes that lead to even more outstanding communications.

Remember the food pyramid when you’re trying to persuade your boss about a new idea or encourage your kids to do their homework. It will come in handy when you have valuable information you want to share with others so they can apply it to their own lives.

A Younique Journey: Am I ready for this level of awesome makeup?

A Younique Journey: Am I ready for this level of awesome makeup?

younique unboxing presenter kitI feel like I’m about to embark on a whole new level of awesome when it comes to makeup, people. So, as I mentioned last week, my friend Sarah recently introduced me to this Younique makeup stuff. After trying it for a couple of weeks, I posted about it and shared my thoughts–the stuff is great.

That, along with the fact that I am in love with the company’s whole philosophy (it happens to fit RIGHT IN with my message–it’s “Uplift. Empower. Motivate.”–don’t you love it?), led me to shell out $99 for a presenter’s kit.

(Which, TBH, is really more like a sweet deal for anyone–the whole marketing thing is done online and there’s no reason to need to share these things with any potential customers).

See, all of the “parties” you do are purely online. The reason for the presenter’s kit? Simple–the company wants you to USE them and talk about them to your friends and relatives via social media. That’s the whole deal–what could be better, right?

younique case makup frontSo, my kit arrived today and I have to be honest, I’m a little intimidated. I’ve got probably 40 or 50 little pots of colored stuff that has labels like “matte” and “pigment” and “concealer” and something else…along with another set of 3D Fiber Lashes (woot, can’t ever have too many of these, I’m telling you!) and some makeup brushes and a little white charm….and a few other things.

Plus, it came in this super cute leather-looking case with embossed designs. It looks classy and expensive. I always enjoy stuff like this–and it could be used for makeup or for something else. It’s got touch appeal too.

But the intimidation comes in because, while I like to think I’m pretty skilled with basic makeup stuff, all these little pots and jars and mixing and whatnot–this stuff is a whole other level for me. Check out what people do with this stuff–it’s kind of amazing. Can I do it? We shall see!

But you know what? I’m going to give it a shot, and see if a “real” person can effectively use this stuff. I know I’ve managed to do pretty well with the 3D Fiber lashes (well, now that I’ve figured out how to properly use them–a post is coming up on that one later) and the other few things  I’ve tried. But this color stuff? I have no clue.

At this point, I’ll ask you–have you tried Younique products before? Do you like them, and what are your best tips for all these colors and how to use them most effectively? All links and ideas will be appreciated.

As for me, I’ll keep you posted–I’ll review and share my own progress/experiments/successes and failures with this brave new makeup frontier right here at QueenBeeing.com. Stay tuned.

 

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