5 Shockingly Empowering Sexy Secrets We Can Learn From Southern Belles

5 Shockingly Empowering Sexy Secrets We Can Learn From Southern Belles

 “Southern Belles never take pride in being ‘awkward’ or ‘adorkable.’ They are ladies who are proud of their social skills, and know how to put people at ease.” ~Candace Thompson

My family and I snuck away for a week during the kids’ spring break from school last year, and boy did I learn something cool. As you might expect, I came across plenty of hot women on my journey, but one in particular sticks out in my mind as a hottie–and probably not one you’d expect.

We left on a Monday night after my husband got off work and we planned to stay in a hotel once we got to Birmingham (just past the halfway point from our home in St. Louis to our rented condo in Panama City Beach, Florida).  So we stopped at a (ridiculously overpriced but very nice) Hampton Inn.

Now, while I am still kind of pissed that it cost us nearly $200 to sleep for exactly 6 unsettling hours, this woman who checked us out was something else.

As we enjoyed our slightly-stale tasting (but “free”) continential breakfast, I saw her, behind the counter. She was probably around 60 years old, and she didn’t seem like much to look at–her skin wasn’t in the best shape and her nose had this odd cut-out looking spot on it. Still, she had a friendly face, I thought, so I went over to check out.

But the moment the woman opened her mouth, she suddenly became incredibly beautiful–and let’s be honest, super hot. And within the three-minute time period I dealt with her, she had a significant impact on me. So what did this southern belle to do win me over within the first two seconds she opened her mouth, aside from belting out that molasses-sweet accent?

5 Sexy Secrets We Can Learn From Southern Belles

southernbelle1. It Ain’t a (Just) Man’s World, So Don’t Be Afraid of Your Femininity–In our society today, women are expected to be sexy, strong and capable, but only insomuch as it does not, in any way, threaten their men. And if she does take on a “traditionally male role,” such as a leadership position at work or a professor at a university, she may feel pressured to subdue her femininity in order to be taken seriously. Southern women are not afraid to be as girly as they wanna be, and they’ll do it all while running a company or heading up a presidential campaign. Bless their hearts!

2. The Art of Being a Lady Isn’t Lost, After All--My hotel clerk and many southern belles like her have this amazing ability to make people around them feel especially comfortable. It’s something about the way they talk, the softness in their voice and maybe even some kind of old-fashioned quality called class. Within the first moment I was talking to this lady, I felt completely at ease and like she was enjoying my conversation. Talk about HOT!

3. Standing By Your Family and Friends is Super Hot–Southern women are known for their ability to take care of and to stand by the people they love – it’s called “Southern Hospitality” for a reason, y’all. There is nothing in the world that says you HAVE to take care of folks (although, if you do, the healthy people in your life usually return the favor!), but I’m here to tell you that, when it comes to men, there are few in this world who don’t (secretly or otherwise) wish their woman would take care of them. Whether they admit it or not, they love it when you get all mommy on their asses–especially when they’re sick. Being a caring wife to a healthy, loving guy? Super hot.

4. southern belleKnowing that Looks DO Matter–Many Southern belles are known for their girly-girl style, but there are just as many gorgeous tomboys, fashionistas  bohemians and other generally hot women in the south. The thing that Southern girls know that the rest of us forget sometimes is that taking care of your appearance DOES change the way the world perceives you (and how you perceive yourself). Not only will you be taken more seriously when you bother to care how you look, but you’ll just FEEL hotter–and that always adds up to BEING hotter.

5. Being Authentically, Really Yourself–I have said it before and I’ll say it again–being YOU is HOT! But in the case of the Southern Belle, I think that Candace Thompson said it best when she said, “Southern Belles don’t care if not every woman wants to be like them, or if they’re considered too “traditional” or “old-fashioned.” They are happy to live the life they have, and be who they are, without pleasing some feminist or businesswoman who wants them to be more “modern.” They know how much better life is when you live it in style.”

What can you learn from a Southern Belle about being a HOTTER version of yourself? Share your thoughts and experiences in the comments section, below!

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Faking It ‘Til You Make It on a Roller Coaster (to the Life of Your Dreams)

Faking It ‘Til You Make It on a Roller Coaster (to the Life of Your Dreams)

“Life is like a roller coaster, live it, be happy, enjoy life.” ~Avril Lavigne

I don’t know about you, but sometimes, when I need to understand a concept, a concrete example helps a lot. So, if you’re struggling to understand the concept of learning to create the life of your dreams, I hope that you’ll be able to find some connection to it through my own personal experience with a roller coaster.

It’s no joke–the first time I ever intentionally chose to change my life and recognized that I’d succeeded, I was only 9 years old–and it involved a roller coaster.

Change Your Mind, Change Your life: My Philosophy

As you may or may not be aware, I have a philosophy that has served me quite well: I believe that anyone can choose the life she wants if she does so intentionally. I believe that you bring about what you think about, that you get back what you put out there–karma, the law of attraction, the Golden Rule–call it whatever you want.

It works pretty consistently. It turns out that the way you choose to perceive any situation can and will affect the outcome.

The fact that my first memory of a conscious attempt and success at using this concept to my advantage  happened before my 10th birthday is proof enough for me–but if that weren’t enough, the result was certainly a confirmation.

How the Roller Coaster Comes Into Play

So there I was, 9 years old and at Six Flags with friends–and not a care in the world–except, that is, for one thing: a horrible fear of roller coasters, upside-down rides and anything with a reputation for making one vomit.

I was so terrified of them that I felt like a big baby (remember, I was 9!), and I remember thinking: “I don’t want to feel like this. I wish I wasn’t so afraid to go on these rides…”

That day, I made a choice.

I decided that I was going to FAKE IT. (At least until I made it!)

Faking It Til You Make It: A Concrete Exanple

When I say fake it til you make it, I mean to behave AS IF what you want has already happened.

So, in the case of the roller coaster, I decided that day that I would PRETEND to love the roller coaster, and that I would pretend SO HARD that I WOULD figure out how to learn to love it.

And guess what? I totally did it–I faked it (acted happy when I wanted to scream–smiled and threw my arms up in the air while I laughed and cheered when I wanted to hold on and beg them to stop the ride.)

And then–the crazy thing.

It happened. That day. I learned to love the roller coaster, and became a bit of a junkie after awhile (the thrill of the perceived risk was kind of awesome, it turned out!!).

I mean, sure, at first, I was totally faking it. But by the end of the day, I truly GOT IT–the reason people loved roller coasters. It was not about being excited to have yourself all flipped upside-down and inside out; it was about overcoming the fear by throwing yourself into the experience.

Your Perception Defines Your Life

As a result of that momentary and seemingly insignificant thing, my 9-year-old self learned something that I’d carry with me for the rest of my life: that not only could I choose my own reaction and thus my experience, but by doing so, I could positively influence the outcome of my day and even my life.

True story.

So tell me, do you believe that you have the power to change your own life? If not, tell me why. If so, tell me about your own experiences that “proved it” for you!

 

 

 

 

How to Deal When the World Disappoints You

How to Deal When the World Disappoints You

“I believe in pink. I believe that laughing is the best calorie burner. I believe in kissing, kissing a lot. I believe in being strong when everything seems to be going wrong. I believe that happy girls are the prettiest girls. I believe that tomorrow is another day and I believe in miracles.” ~Audrey Hepburn

audrey3I love that quote. I really do–it’s one of my favorites. But look, I’m going to be super honest here–and I hope you take this for what it’s worth, some days, I just don’t quite feel it.

If you’ve been reading my work long, you know I’m responsible for a variety of niche websites. As the creator of QueenBeeing and all of its current sub-sites (How to Be a Hot Wife, Project Blissful, #StyleBuzz Project Blissful Style, for example), I’m really pretty familiar with ME and how to be the best possible me I can be.

See, all of these sites have one thing in common: they’re focused on becoming BETTER—a better version of myself.

In fact, all of those sites led to this one; that’s why QueenBeeing exists—it is the whole enchilada—everything that, for me, represents being the best possible version of myself and of creating and living the life I desire, all collected in one beautiful, ever-evolving place.

Each site was representative of a certain part of myself that I was working to improve or otherwise more fully embrace in my life—my marriage, my physical and mental health, my fashion sense—just to name a few.

And as you may or may not know, I’ve had some pretty tremendous results thanks to this commitment—but it doesn’t mean I’m perfect.

I am my brand and I try to always follow my own advice.

I actively and diligently practice what I preach here, too—no joke. Everything I personally write about, unless otherwise noted and/or quoted, is something that I have personally experienced, attempted or personally discovered/realized through my studies and research of people and sociology. And, just like my readers, I’m ever-evolving, always trying to be and do better, for myself, my family and the world around me.

With all of that being said, I would love to sit here and tell you that because I am actively attempting to live my own message and to truly BE my personal brand, I have no issues and am always totally 100 percent on point with my whole inner peace/happiness/personal fulfillment deal. I really would.

But I’ve vowed to be myself, to be brutally honest with my readers, so here’s my real truth: I’m totally human. So. Not. Perfect.

And sometimes? The world pisses me off a little bit.

pantiesFor example, last week, my husband turned on some discussion on Fox News channel (which I do not normally watch).

As usual, I zoned out and attempted to focus on my own thing…until I heard some right-wing commenter talking about President Obama and how “the world seems to disappoint him.”

(I’m so not going to comment on the political crap there, because that’s not why I’m mentioning it. Please understand that the following is not in any way a political commentary, it’s just a personal one that is referencing a random comment made about a random person in the world!)

Anyway, in that moment, when I happened to be feeling a little bit surly about the world, I got it.

Sometimes, to be honest, the world disappoints me, too.

So for a minute, I let myself stew on that feeling. About two seconds later, I noticed that particular feeling sucked. I didn’t want to feel like that one second longer—it felt awful. Who wants to be disappointed by the world?

And here, my friends, is where I tell you the good news: I’m not completely full of shit, after all.

I truly do live my message.

Here’s what I did to stop feeling all that negativity and get my head back in the right place.

I just changed my mind.

Yeah, I know, that sounds WAY too simple—and it kinda is—but hear me out. What I mean by change my mind is to change the way I saw the situation–to change my perception.

The very first thing I did was to allow myself to refocus – to literally become distracted from the negative thoughts, but in a super-productive way. I use an internal distraction/redirection technique that involves a simple memorized affirmation phrase. Mine is:

“I now cancel that thought and replace it with this affirmation of my true divine desire: (insert your own better, more positive thought here).”

I do this because making myself think OR say those exact words takes exactly the amount of time that seems to be required to distract myself from the negative thoughts.

That offers me enough time to recognize what I’m doing to myself: the more negatively I allow myself to react, the more of that kind of stuff I’ll be drawing into my life. But if I can stay mostly positive, life will reflect the same kind of mostly awesome. I know this to be true, because I’ve experienced it personally, again and again. I’m constantly amazed by it and always, always grateful. <3

How do you get over it when the world disappoints you? Share your thoughts in the comments section, below.

QB Guide: How to Be the Center of Attention at Every Party

QB Guide: How to Be the Center of Attention at Every Party

“I was about half in love with her by the time we sat down. That’s the thing about girls. Every time they do something pretty… you fall half in love with them, and then you never know where the hell you are..” ~ J D Salinger  

This post might also be entitled “how to make a whole room full of people fall in love with you” or “how to be incredibly irresistible to everyone you meet.”

We’ve all seen her. You know the one–the woman who can walk into any room and instantly have all eyes on her.

She doesn’t miss a beat and pretends not to notice the gazes of both approval and thinly veiled jealousy as she gracefully glides in and inserts herself into the most attractive group in the room, taking center stage as naturally as the rest of us breathe.

She makes it look effortless, being this amazing creature that captures the attention of everyone within a 50-foot radius–and you might wonder exactly how she does it.

Here’s the thing–she’s no different than you or me. In fact, if you look at her really closely, she is probably no more physically attractive either. The reason she seems so much brighter and sparklier than everyone else in the room actually has nothing to do with her perfectly styled look, hair or even the fact that her purple lipstick somehow makes her eyes seem much brighter blue.

Sometimes, she shows up in jeans and a pseudo-broken-in t-shirt, no makeup and her hair piled on top of her head–and still look completely freaking amazing. That bitch! No, no, I kid.

Then there are the times she appears as a plus-sized woman who somehow gets the attention of every hot guy who walks in her path–or as a 60-something southern girl who blows you away with her charm.

The point is that there are certain women who just happen to be the center of attention at every party. The bottom line is this: we all want to know how she does it, but not many of us are willing to walk up to her and ask her. But lucky for you, you’ve got ME, and I happen to be really into the whole sharing information thing.

Now to the meat of this post! I hope you’re sitting down–the secrets are about to spill.

Read more: Confidence is HOT! Check out our FREE 5-Day Self-Confidence Mastery Course, right here.

How to Be the Center of Attention at Every Party

Get the Look

Wear the right outfit. The right outfit will vary from woman to woman and party to party, but generally, consider the following tips when choosing your look.

  • The kind of occasion. If it’s a formal event or a back-yard BBQ, there is a certain type of attire that is most likely appropriate. Unless you’re into negative attention, try to keep your outfit reasonably appropriate to the occasion.
  • Coordination of color. If you’re going to be in a darkened room, then you’ll want to wear a brighter color if you hope to be seen, provided the occasion allows it. If you’re going to be in a well-lit room, you might still consider brighter color(s), but you might add patterns or other small details to the look. And as always, be sure the colors you choose are the ones that make you look the best.
  • The hotness factor. Look, sometimes it’s not okay to walk around with your boobs hanging out. And sometimes, the whole “more is less” thing is legit. The fact is that you can be SUPER HOT without being a SUPER HO. No kidding. So again, appropriately hot.
  • Your personal brand of hot. As important as being appropriate for any occasion is the fact that you need to do what works best for you personally. That is, find the right look for your body, your personality and your overall preferred image. This will obviously vary from person to person based on individual factors, and there’s really no wrong brand of hot–it’s all about what makes you feel confident, beautiful and comfortable. Don’t be afraid to try on several outfits and take photos to see which looks the best.

Get the Attention

Here’s where it gets interesting. The thing is that a confident woman will always grab the attention of a less confident one, eventually, regardless of which of the two is more physically attractive by societal standards. Like the southern belle I recently met proves, a woman’s personality is at least 80 percent of her hotness.

Ask any guy what’s the sexiest quality about a woman that you can’t see in a photo, and he’ll tell you it’s her ability to be self-confident, to be herself or to be “real” with him. So how do you get the attention of a whole roomful of people? Try these tips.

Work the Room

When you enter a room, be sure to make your way around the room and greet everyone you see (or at least those you know) before settling into any particular crowd. That’ll give you the lay of the land and give you an idea of where you want to spend the most time—or you might choose to keep floating all evening. There’s nothing wrong with mingling–or even bringing together groups of people who didn’t know each other before!

You’re Never Fully Dressed Without a Smile

You probably don’t realize how significantly a smile can change your world, but try something for me. Tomorrow, or the next time you’re out in public, make an effort to meet the eyes and smile at everyone you pass. If that’s too much for you, then try smiling at 10 people throughout the day. You’ll be pleasantly surprised when you discover the amazing effect it has on you (and those around you!).

Be Quick With a Joke and to Light Up a Smoke

You don’t really have to light anyone’s cigarette, but the idea is that you show up at every party with a few key tricks up your sleeve.

  • A couple of (appropriately) funny stories and/or jokes—if you come prepared to be funny, you’ll find that people just flock to you. This may seem a bit “calculated,” but the truth is that most attention-grabbing women are way more calculated than they appear.
  • A catchphrase or schtick—this one is optional, but tends to make people remember you. Come up with a cute little phrase, expression or idea that you can share throughout the evening to sort of “brand” yourself,. You’ll be unforgettable.

Make a Grand Entrance

Maybe this seems old-fashioned, but show up a few minutes after everyone else and don’t enter quietly (when it’s appropriate!). When you employ the outfit and confidence tips outlined above, the grand entrance is easy to accomplish.

Listen Like Your Life Depends On It

Here’s the biggest secret to being absolutely irresistable: nearly ALL people, male and female love someone who is genuinely interested in THEM—so the best way to get attention is to be genuinely interested in the people you’re partying with! Find out what makes them tick, what makes them smile—anything they’re willing to share, and hang on every word. When you speak to them again, use the material they shared to spark up a new conversation.

What are your best tips for how to be the center of attention at every party? Share them in the comments section, below!

 

QB Guide: How to Be the Center of Attention at Every Party

Slow Down: 6 Reasons You Should Be Eating Slower

“The secret of staying young is to live honestly, eat slowly, and lie about your age.” ~ Lucille Ball

How to Eat What You Want and Lose WeightOne in four Americans eats fast food each day. Who can blame us? Times are different these days. Thanks to crazy-busy schedules, we rush around like chickens with our heads cut off–and before we know, it’s time to eat.

Cooking and food can seem like more of an annoyance than a gift, so we just pick up the fastest, easiest thing we can find and eat quickly so we can get back to our seemingly endless list of tasks.

So how does eating slower help with our fast-food diet, or any diet at all?

Eating slower is powerful in several ways. It’s an easy way to begin to reverse a harried lifestyle. It’s not difficult. You simply take smaller bites, chew slower and more thoroughly, and enjoy your meal for a greater length of time.

Two decades ago, the Slow Food Movement was started in Italy as a way to counteract everything that fast food stands for.

There are several reasons you might want to consider eating slower:

You’ll sleep better. Eating too much in the evening is sure way to disrupt your sleep.

By eating slower, which leads to improved digestion, your sleep is sure to be more restful. Disturbed sleep is one of the top complaints doctors receive.

Your mind will be less stressed.

The simple act of eating slower can begin to counter a hectic, stressful lifestyle. Sit down and enjoy your meal, your friends and family, and your life.

You will enjoy your food more.

You’ll be surprised at just how much flavor some foods have if you’ll eat them slower. This is especially true of many foods that you might consider to be bland. Slowing down will give you the same amount of pleasure with far fewer calories.

You are also likely to find that many of the unhealthy foods you currently enjoy don’t taste nearly as good if you eat them slowly. Give it a try. Take a food you love, but know you shouldn’t eat. Eat it very slowly and see if you still love it.

Your digestion will improve.

Digestion begins in your mouth. Having food spend a little more time in your mouth makes a big difference. Even more importantly, by chewing your food more completely, you increase the amount of surface area for the enzymes and chemicals in your body to act.

Improved body composition: Numerous studies have shown that we eat less when we eat slower.

How much can you lose from eating slower? According to the studies, about 20 lbs!

  • It takes about 20 minutes for your brain to let you know that you’re full. If you eat too quickly, you can eat a lot more than your body needs.
  1. Your body will be less stressed. Digestion requires a tremendous amount of energy. Some scientists believe that it’s the most energy-intensive process in the body.
  • Further studies have shown that people whom consume the least (without starving) tend to live the longest. All digestion results in harmful metabolic products that must be eliminated from the body.

There are so many benefits to be gained by slowing down at mealtime. It’s an enjoyable way to lose weight and strengthen your physical health. You’ll also sleep better, be more relaxed, and can reconnect with your loved ones.

Start today with one meal. Make a real effort to chew more slowly and completely. Focus only on your meal and other people at the table. What could be easier or more enjoyable?

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