It’s the million dollar question on everyone’s mind–what do you really want in life?
Some people never figure out the answer to that one – and that’s a shame.
So many people spend the best years of their lives watching television or doing things they dislike. An author described humanity by saying, “Most people die at twenty and are buried at eighty.” Are you one of the living zombies?
What do you really want in life?
Some people struggle in answering such question. When asked what they want or what their goals in life are, many are unsure. They dillydally in their decision, hardly giving any thought about what they want in life. People without definite goals are letting time pass them by. Are you one of these people?
If you are undecided about what you want out of life, do not worry. There are many ways of discovering your purpose in life.
To discover what you want in life, try looking deep into your heart.
Oftentimes, people are ruled by logic. People live by what they think they should be or by what others like them to be. The discovery process is the perfect time to listen to your heart. What your heart desires comes from the whispers of your authentic self. Your authentic self is the real you.
Listen to your heart to be able to listen to your authentic self. What your heart says usually feels right. What your heart desires is what you usually love to do and this represents your passion. Anything done with passion is like play where the task is accomplished without hesitation. You pour out your very best and feel no pressure or resistance.
You will totally enjoy doing things that are your passion. Setbacks, difficulties, and obstacles will make it more challenging, but should not deter you from pursuing your goals. Naturally, there may be barriers that may prevent you from reaching your goal, but your heart’s desire will find ways to overcome these barriers so that you may ultimately get what you want in life. Remember this: the universe supports people who are pursuing their passion and those who are pursuing their destiny.
However, this does not mean that you don’t use your head. People are born with both the mind and heart. Your duty is to live your best life and be in harmony with your mind and heart. The poet Rumi wisely said, “Live completely in the head and you cannot feel the breath and rhythm of life. Live completely in the heart and you may find yourself acting like a love-struck fool with poor judgment and discipline. It’s all a fine balance – the head and heart must forge a lifetime partnership if one wants to live a beautiful life.”
Listen to your instinct. Part of human nature is the mysterious and spontaneous reaction on things. Often times, these are called instincts. Your authentic self communicates with you and guides you via instincts. Instincts are those gentle nudges that urge you to act and follow a certain path. Your role then is to listen attentively.
Often times, we listen to what others say and allow them to run our lives. Parents often do this to their children. “We come from a family of doctors, so my son must also be a doctor.” How often do we hear this from parents who have good intentions for their children? Parents unconsciously block the true expression of their child’s real self and calling. Friends and critics will discourage you and point out the impossibility of your dream. Before heeding their advice, evaluate the accomplishments of the critics. Did they achieve theirs dreams? Do they dream big at all?
Remember, it is your destiny that is in line, not theirs. It doesn’t mean, though, that you will not listen to what other people say. Hear them out just the same. But the final decision should be yours.
There is only thing to remember: Every person, to live truly and greatly, must define how he wants to live and what his brightest life will look like. Listen to your instincts and follow your heart’s desire. You will never go wrong.
“Drag your thoughts away from your troubles… by the ears, by the heels, or any other way you can manage it.” ~Mark Twain
Everyone has something (or someone) in their past that they’d just rather forget–but as everyone knows, sometimes that’s a little easier said than done.
Yet, as we focus on obtaining our ultimate personal fulfillment, we know that focusing on those negative things or people from our past is doing nothing but keeping us from obtaining our true divine desires.
When we focus on the things we don’t want in our own lives, we draw more of those things toward us–and then we may not remember to focus on the things we DO want. This leaves us unhappy and unfulfilled, living with a general sense of dissatisfaction and we’re left wondering what we’re doing wrong.
The law of attraction doesn’t discriminate–it’s very simple. What you think about, you bring about. So, if you think about how exceptionally awesome your life is–then you’ll draw more reasons for exceptional awesomeness into your life.
On the other hand, if you think about how much your life sucks–then you’ll soon find many more reasons for the suck factor.
I know, this is all very basic and may seem far too simple, especially when you throw whole “we’re all human” thing into the mix. After all, we don’t always control the external factors, the little reminders in our everyday lives that trigger thoughts of the negative things or people in our pasts.
First things first, it’s important to be aware of the problem. So, if you are always thinking about, say, that job you got fired from, you need to begin to be conscious of your internal dialogue–keep an “ear” on your thoughts. And the next time you think about that job, mentally “cancel” that thought and replace it with an affirmation of what you REALLY want.
So, for example, if what you really want is a new, high-paying and secure job that you enjoy, then you might tell yourself something like, “I work for ____. My job is secure and fun, and I make $_____ per ______.”
Take the Good, Leave the Bad
“Oh, my friend, it’s not what they take away from you that counts. It’s what you do with what you have left.” ~Hubert Humphrey
In almost every situation, there can be a positive. Using the example of the lost job, you could probably come up with at least one good thing that happened as a result of working there. Maybe you made a new friend, learned a good lesson or made enough money to send your kid to college.
If your negative thoughts revolve more around a past personal relationship, take the love, lessons and happy parts of that relationship and forget about the rest. That doesn’t mean that you have to get involved with that person in the present, but it means that you can move forward without the negative baggage “the rest” brings with it.
Keep the “good stuff” from your past and let the rest of it go. Again, this can be achieved through “thought replacement.” So, if you’re thinking about that ex who dumped you for no good reason, remind yourself of the things that you liked about the relationship with that person. Smile, give yourself a minute to reminisce, and then replace thoughts of that person with an affirmation of what you want today. Maybe something like “I am so very grateful for the healthy and fulfilling relationships in my life.” It takes some practice, but it works.
Don’t Worry–It Won’t Help
“Worry never robs tomorrow of its sorrow, it only saps today of its joy.” ~Leo Buscaglia
You get where I’m going with this, right? The bottom line here is that focusing on negative things–worrying and upsetting yourself–will do you no good. In fact, these negative thoughts can actually cause harm by drawing more negativity into your life.
Worrying never solved anything, so why should you sit around feeling bad? Choose to feel good instead, choose to think and feel positive things–and watch as you begin to manifest the life you’ve always wanted.
Angela Atkinson is a certified trauma counselor and the author of more than 20 books on narcissism, narcissistic abuse recovery, and related topics. A recognized expert on narcissism and narcissistic personality disorder who has studied and written extensively on narcissistic personality disorder and narcissistic abuse in toxic relationships since 2006, she has a popular narcissistic abuse recovery YouTube channel. Atkinson was inspired to begin her work as a result of having survived toxic relationships of her own.
Atkinson offers trauma-informed narcissistic abuse recovery coaching and has certifications in trauma counseling, life coaching, level 2 therapeutic model, CBT coaching, integrative wellness coaching, and NLP. She is a certified trauma support coach and certified family trauma professional. She also has a professional PTSD counseling certification. Her mission is to help those who have experienced the emotional and mental devastation that comes with narcissistic abuse in these incredibly toxic relationships to (re)discover their true selves, stop the gaslighting and manipulation, and move forward into their genuine desires – into a life that is exactly what they choose for themselves.
Along with her solution-focused life coaching experience, Atkinson’s previous career in journalism and research helps her to offer both accurate and understandable information for survivors of abuse in a simple-to-understand way that helps to increase awareness in the narcissistic abuse recovery community. Atkinson founded QueenBeeing.com Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Support, the SPANily Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Support Groups and the Life Makeover Academy.