Have you ever been to a strip club? I have, once. It was a decade ago during my bachelorette party.
And to be honest, it wasn’t my cuppa tea. It was an experience that left me well-aware of the differences between men and women when it comes to visual stimulus.
I saw both male and female strippers that night and somehow left the club feeling sorry for the ladies.
Even though the men were doing essentially the same thing, there seemed to be an almost sad energy around the ladies, almost one of numbness countered by desperation.
As you might have guessed, many female exotic dancers suffer from low self-esteem. According to researchers, this is at least in part due to the fact that theit jobs carry such a big stigma.
Recently, new researh was published by Maren Scull, an instructor of Sociology in the CU Denver College of Liberal Arts and Sciences.
Scull has conducted research on the motivation behind male strippers commitment to stripping and the effect their occupation has on the way they view themselves. And her results were kind of shocking.
“Because stripping is a stigmatizing occupation, it has the capacity to negatively affect exotic dancers’ self-definitions,” Scull said in a press release. “I looked into what motivates men to continue dancing and found that stripping led to feelings of mattering, mastery and enhanced self-esteem.”
After spending two years studying male strippers, Scull realized something profound: though female strippers are most likely to continue their work for the money, it’s all about the confidence boost for the guys, who reportedly earn much less per shift than their female counterparts.
“Initially women who dance for men may experience a boost in self-esteem, but after time they suffer from a diminished self-concept,” Scull said. “My research finds that men who dance for women generally experience positive feelings of self-worth. So much so, that men will continue to strip even when it is no longer financially lucrative.”
She added that this could be due to the fact that men and women typically have different feelings about being objectified as sex objects. Men like it and take it as a compliment while women find it oppressive or stressful.
Shocked or not? Tell me in the comments section below. Let’s discuss.
I have had long hair for about 11 years. When I say long I mean all the way down to my butt long.
I would get it trimmed every once in a while but I hated cutting it.
One day my daughter and I were discussing front bangs and I told her how didn’t like them and would never get them.
Of course she had to disagree with me and started browsing through google and trying to find a photo of a woman with straight bangs that I would love.
Now she has this need to convince me that she is right and bangs are rockin’! After about 15 minutes of showing me photos she comes across one and I am immediately in love.
I look over at her and throw her phone back across the room to her waiting hand. Smiling I tell her to call our hair dresser because I am getting my first real hair cut in 11 years. Bangs even! She is more than over joyed!
So after making the appointment and posting on social media for 3 days about how I’m going to take the plunge the day arrives.
I woke up with my hair wrapped around my neck/head for the last time!
No more having to wake up and move my hair to roll over in the middle of the night! No more having to wear hair clips just to bend over and see something.
No more having to hold my head away from chairs and car seats because my hair is too long and I have to keep it up so I don’t sweat to death. No more split ends and not wanting to cut them off. No more hot neck. No more hot back! No more hot sweaty days simply because I didn’t bring a hair tie.
No more having to worry about my hair breaking or making sure I give it nutrients to grow long. No more expensive hair spray to hold a heavy long curl. No more having to use hot rollers twice just to get a curl to stay half the day. No more having to have a hair clip in the shower just to wash it all.
No more smacking people in the face with hair when I move it off my shoulders or when just sitting in a car. No more your hair takes up more room than you in the pool. OMGosh NO MORE LONG HAIR!
I was super excited and way overwhelmed all at the same time. Making such a big life change was CRAZY but I was tired of all that HAIR!
I cried on my 25th birthday. That’s not a bad age to be but I was devastated. I never wanted to get older. I hated September 4th of every year because it marked that I was officially growing older. Another year under my belt. Another grey hair. Another wrinkle.
I would tell myself that I cannot grow another year older. I refused to have birthdays and told my kids to always refer to me as 26 every year no matter how old I was.
I hid my birthday from my friends and when my mother decided to throw me a surprise birthday party for my 30th I was not happy to say the least.
I enjoyed my friends and family but I did not enjoy having everyone reminded how old I was.
Now that I am half way through my 30s and some of my friends are starting to enter their 40s I am finally realizing that growing older isn’t so bad.
1. Financial Security –Something that I didn’t have throughout my 20s was financial security. Having time to go to college and start a career has paid off well into our 30s.
2. Kids – It’s pretty hard to keep trying to be young when your kids are growing up right in front of you. No more hiding the fact that I’m over 29 when I’m standing next to my 19 year old son. All that does is make me look silly. I am happily watching my children become young adults. I enjoy watching my children put to use the things I have been teaching them throughout their childhood.
3. Self-confidence – I have never looked better than right now. That is because I have never felt better or had more self-confidence. This comes from years of learning to love myself. I spent my 20s finding who I was and becoming okay with what god gave me.
4. Family and friends – Understanding that our family and friends are some of the most important things in our lives. Having people who will always be there for you speaks volumes. Find them, keep them, and treasure them. Those people will be the ones we call when life gets to be too much and who we make memories with.
If someone asked me today would I rather be 25 or 35 I would totally choose 35. 10 years ago I would have never answered that question the same way. However, reflecting on my life I have enjoyed the things that come with age. I would not change how old I am. Even if that means more wrinkles and grey hairs. I love being in my 30s and I am excited for my birthday because that means another year of adventure and new memories to add to my pile of already great ones.
“I’m an introvert… I love being by myself, love being outdoors, love taking a long walk with my dogs and looking at the trees, flowers, the sky.” ~Audrey Hepburn
Understanding An Introvert: 5b Things we wish you knew
Being an introvert is not an easy task. Sometimes the people around us suffer because they don’t know how to deal with introverts.
Here are some tips and tricks to being a great friend or family member to an introvert.
1. Acceptance – I’m not going to leave my house if I don’t want to. When you call me up and ask me to go and I say “no” then you won’t get me to leave. Don’t beg and plead and argue with me. I don’t want to go so I’m not going to. Please understand this instead of going out of your way to belittle me since I don’t want to leave the house yet again. I need you to accept this is who I am.
2. Don’t forget me – Just because I say “no” I’m not going doesn’t mean I want you to forget about me the next time you plan an outing or event. I know I missed a lot of stuff but I don’t want to be excluded completely.
3. My house is best – Want to hang out? Come on over. Make sure to call me first though. More than likely I am not going to meet you at a bar but I am almost always willing to have you over for a few drinks and a bon fire in the back yard. Just don’t bring anyone else without me knowing.
4. Silence is okay – Know that my silence is not a bad thing. I am not insulting you. I like you. I am just used to being quiet. I like quiet. It’s part of being an introvert.
5. Outings are hard – I am tired every time after I go to a public function. When I pick my kids up from school and have to talk to more than one person I am tired. It takes a great deal of energy to make myself do certain things, and being in public is one of them.