“I was about half in love with her by the time we sat down. That’s the thing about girls. Every time they do something pretty… you fall half in love with them, and then you never know where the hell you are..” ~ J D Salinger
This post might also be entitled “how to make a whole room full of people fall in love with you” or “how to be incredibly irresistible to everyone you meet.”
We’ve all seen her. You know the one–the woman who can walk into any room and instantly have all eyes on her.
She doesn’t miss a beat and pretends not to notice the gazes of both approval and thinly veiled jealousy as she gracefully glides in and inserts herself into the most attractive group in the room, taking center stage as naturally as the rest of us breathe.
She makes it look effortless, being this amazing creature that captures the attention of everyone within a 50-foot radius–and you might wonder exactly how she does it.
Here’s the thing–she’s no different than you or me. In fact, if you look at her really closely, she is probably no more physically attractive either. The reason she seems so much brighter and sparklier than everyone else in the room actually has nothing to do with her perfectly styled look, hair or even the fact that her purple lipstick somehow makes her eyes seem much brighter blue.
Sometimes, she shows up in jeans and a pseudo-broken-in t-shirt, no makeup and her hair piled on top of her head–and still look completely freaking amazing. That bitch! No, no, I kid.
Then there are the times she appears as a plus-sized woman who somehow gets the attention of every hot guy who walks in her path–or as a 60-something southern girl who blows you away with her charm.
The point is that there are certain women who just happen to be the center of attention at every party. The bottom line is this: we all want to know how she does it, but not many of us are willing to walk up to her and ask her. But lucky for you, you’ve got ME, and I happen to be really into the whole sharing information thing.
Now to the meat of this post! I hope you’re sitting down–the secrets are about to spill.
Wear the right outfit. The right outfit will vary from woman to woman and party to party, but generally, consider the following tips when choosing your look.
The kind of occasion. If it’s a formal event or a back-yard BBQ, there is a certain type of attire that is most likely appropriate. Unless you’re into negative attention, try to keep your outfit reasonably appropriate to the occasion.
Coordination of color. If you’re going to be in a darkened room, then you’ll want to wear a brighter color if you hope to be seen, provided the occasion allows it. If you’re going to be in a well-lit room, you might still consider brighter color(s), but you might add patterns or other small details to the look. And as always, be sure the colors you choose are the ones that make you look the best.
The hotness factor. Look, sometimes it’s not okay to walk around with your boobs hanging out. And sometimes, the whole “more is less” thing is legit. The fact is that you can be SUPER HOT without being a SUPER HO. No kidding. So again, appropriately hot.
Your personal brand of hot. As important as being appropriate for any occasion is the fact that you need to do what works best for you personally. That is, find the right look for your body, your personality and your overall preferred image. This will obviously vary from person to person based on individual factors, and there’s really no wrong brand of hot–it’s all about what makes you feel confident, beautiful and comfortable. Don’t be afraid to try on several outfits and take photos to see which looks the best.
Get the Attention
Here’s where it gets interesting. The thing is that a confident woman will always grab the attention of a less confident one, eventually, regardless of which of the two is more physically attractive by societal standards. Like the southern belle I recently met proves, a woman’s personality is at least 80 percent of her hotness.
Ask any guy what’s the sexiest quality about a woman that you can’t see in a photo, and he’ll tell you it’s her ability to be self-confident, to be herself or to be “real” with him. So how do you get the attention of a whole roomful of people? Try these tips.
Work the Room
When you enter a room, be sure to make your way around the room and greet everyone you see (or at least those you know) before settling into any particular crowd. That’ll give you the lay of the land and give you an idea of where you want to spend the most time—or you might choose to keep floating all evening. There’s nothing wrong with mingling–or even bringing together groups of people who didn’t know each other before!
You’re Never Fully Dressed Without a Smile
You probably don’t realize how significantly a smile can change your world, but try something for me. Tomorrow, or the next time you’re out in public, make an effort to meet the eyes and smile at everyone you pass. If that’s too much for you, then try smiling at 10 people throughout the day. You’ll be pleasantly surprised when you discover the amazing effect it has on you (and those around you!).
Be Quick With a Joke and to Light Up a Smoke
You don’t really have to light anyone’s cigarette, but the idea is that you show up at every party with a few key tricks up your sleeve.
A couple of (appropriately) funny stories and/or jokes—if you come prepared to be funny, you’ll find that people just flock to you. This may seem a bit “calculated,” but the truth is that most attention-grabbing women are way more calculated than they appear.
A catchphrase or schtick—this one is optional, but tends to make people remember you. Come up with a cute little phrase, expression or idea that you can share throughout the evening to sort of “brand” yourself,. You’ll be unforgettable.
Make a Grand Entrance
Maybe this seems old-fashioned, but show up a few minutes after everyone else and don’t enter quietly (when it’s appropriate!). When you employ the outfit and confidence tips outlined above, the grand entrance is easy to accomplish.
Listen Like Your Life Depends On It
Here’s the biggest secret to being absolutely irresistable: nearly ALL people, male and female love someone who is genuinely interested in THEM—so the best way to get attention is to be genuinely interested in the people you’re partying with! Find out what makes them tick, what makes them smile—anything they’re willing to share, and hang on every word. When you speak to them again, use the material they shared to spark up a new conversation.
What are your best tips for how to be the center of attention at every party? Share them in the comments section, below!
We’ve all at one time or another wanted that celebrity smile. You know, the one that glows with radiance like the celebrities have as they pace down the red carpet.
However, many of us simply can’t afford that million dollar smile. Fortunately, there are some things we can do to financially equip ourselves for that new smile.
The first step you should take in your quest to pay for your veneers is contact your insurance company.
Although many insurance companies typically don’t cover cosmetic procedures, some may be able to pay a percentage of it. This is nice considering that veneers can go for as much as $1,000 a tooth.
If you’ve been in some sort of accident that’s somehow disfigured your teeth, it might be worth mentioning it to your insurance company. If you convince them enough, they might empty their pockets and fully cover your dental veneers.
If the insurance route doesn’t go as planned, it might be in your best interest to carefully shop around for another cosmetic dentist.
The rates charged for a veneer procedure can significantly vary from dentist to dentist. If you find a price tag you like, make sure you research the dentist plenty before seating yourself in the dental chair.
Finally, it may be worth asking a friend or family member to lend you some money for your dental veneers. Sit down and work out a plan before lending any amount of money. Get a contract together and have both you and the other party sign it. That way, any future problems can be resolved expediently.
“Drag your thoughts away from your troubles… by the ears, by the heels, or any other way you can manage it.” ~Mark Twain
Everyone has something (or someone) in their past that they’d just rather forget–but as everyone knows, sometimes that’s a little easier said than done.
Yet, as we focus on obtaining our ultimate personal fulfillment, we know that focusing on those negative things or people from our past is doing nothing but keeping us from obtaining our true divine desires.
When we focus on the things we don’t want in our own lives, we draw more of those things toward us–and then we may not remember to focus on the things we DO want. This leaves us unhappy and unfulfilled, living with a general sense of dissatisfaction and we’re left wondering what we’re doing wrong.
The law of attraction doesn’t discriminate–it’s very simple. What you think about, you bring about. So, if you think about how exceptionally awesome your life is–then you’ll draw more reasons for exceptional awesomeness into your life.
On the other hand, if you think about how much your life sucks–then you’ll soon find many more reasons for the suck factor.
I know, this is all very basic and may seem far too simple, especially when you throw whole “we’re all human” thing into the mix. After all, we don’t always control the external factors, the little reminders in our everyday lives that trigger thoughts of the negative things or people in our pasts.
First things first, it’s important to be aware of the problem. So, if you are always thinking about, say, that job you got fired from, you need to begin to be conscious of your internal dialogue–keep an “ear” on your thoughts. And the next time you think about that job, mentally “cancel” that thought and replace it with an affirmation of what you REALLY want.
So, for example, if what you really want is a new, high-paying and secure job that you enjoy, then you might tell yourself something like, “I work for ____. My job is secure and fun, and I make $_____ per ______.”
Take the Good, Leave the Bad
“Oh, my friend, it’s not what they take away from you that counts. It’s what you do with what you have left.” ~Hubert Humphrey
In almost every situation, there can be a positive. Using the example of the lost job, you could probably come up with at least one good thing that happened as a result of working there. Maybe you made a new friend, learned a good lesson or made enough money to send your kid to college.
If your negative thoughts revolve more around a past personal relationship, take the love, lessons and happy parts of that relationship and forget about the rest. That doesn’t mean that you have to get involved with that person in the present, but it means that you can move forward without the negative baggage “the rest” brings with it.
Keep the “good stuff” from your past and let the rest of it go. Again, this can be achieved through “thought replacement.” So, if you’re thinking about that ex who dumped you for no good reason, remind yourself of the things that you liked about the relationship with that person. Smile, give yourself a minute to reminisce, and then replace thoughts of that person with an affirmation of what you want today. Maybe something like “I am so very grateful for the healthy and fulfilling relationships in my life.” It takes some practice, but it works.
Don’t Worry–It Won’t Help
“Worry never robs tomorrow of its sorrow, it only saps today of its joy.” ~Leo Buscaglia
You get where I’m going with this, right? The bottom line here is that focusing on negative things–worrying and upsetting yourself–will do you no good. In fact, these negative thoughts can actually cause harm by drawing more negativity into your life.
Worrying never solved anything, so why should you sit around feeling bad? Choose to feel good instead, choose to think and feel positive things–and watch as you begin to manifest the life you’ve always wanted.
As temperatures rise, some of us can’t think about anything but the upcoming summer.
Who doesn’t love summer? You get to freshen up your wardrobe. You get to go on vacation, if you’re lucky, and of course, it’s the perfect time to indulge in all the things you can do in warm, sunny weather.
But between continuing your regular daily schedule (work, the gym and household responsibilities, for example) and adding in the fun of summer activities, you might just find yourself exhausted and under-enthused about the season.
Don’t just give in to burnout. Instead, consider these strategies to attain and maintain your vitality so you can make the most of your summer.
Nothing invigorates you more than feeling content and happy with yourself and your life, so take care of your emotional needs. You’re the only person who knows exactly what you require to satisfy your emotional side. Do whatever is necessary to ensure your emotional needs are satisfied, whether that’s surrounding yourself with good friends, staying close with family, or practicing the hobbies that bring you joy.
Get your vitamins and minerals. Even though experts recommend a multi-vitamin daily, this is meant to be taken in addition to a balanced diet of whole foods. Spend some time at the choosemyplate.gov website to determine how to obtain your daily requirements from the food you eat.
Avoid heavy foods. When the opportunity to take part in a fun, physical activity arises, you want to feel ready! Eating rich, fattening foods makes you want to sit down and watch TV, so you can assume it’s not doing much to pump up your energy reserves. Instead, choose lean meats, vegetables, and foods filled with fiber, such as whole grains.
Sleep well. Getting restful, deep sleep is necessary for your mental health. And in order to have plenty of energy during these active summer days, you’ll need plenty of shut-eye to give your body time to rejuvenate. Aim for 7-8 hours.
Plan ahead. To keep yourself from feeling stressed out and harried, have an idea of what you want to do over the next 3 or 4 days. Making a note of what you hope to do means you’ll also plan to achieve balance regarding your activity, rest, and rejuvenation.
Look your best. Summertime is the time to show off your assets. If wearing your light blue shirt brings out your tan, why not wear it more often? If you’ve been walking a lot, show off those great legs by wearing skirts and shorts. How you feel about your personal appearance is closely connected to how you feel about yourself. You’ll feel emotionally energized when you believe you’re looking great.
Smile more. Think “fun in the sun.” You look confident, strong and completely revitalized when you smile.
Be active. Sit less. Move around more. Whether you’re in the house completing a task, shopping and running errands, or playing baseball with the kids, you’re more vibrant when you’re fully engaged. Go ahead and sign up for that summer tennis league or softball team you’ve been saying you might join. And then, show up and have fun! Being active increases feelings of confidence and will invigorate you more than anything else.
Vary your activities to keep your energy flowing. Even if you love playing golf, a change of pace can revitalize you. Ride bikes with your kids. Jog around the block with your teen-age son or daughter. Finish the yard work in between other activities.
Pace yourself. Allow blocks of times to rest, read, watch television, or listen to your favorite music. Doing what you love and resting sufficiently will give you plenty of energy to stay active.
What are your best tips for staying healthy, happy and vitalized during the summer? Share your thoughts in the comments section, below.
“Forget whatever figure you may have heard,” Wargo writes. “Not to intimidate you, if you happen to be preparing for a job or grad school interview, or a blind date, but new research shows that you may need to have your act together in the blink of an eye.”
Wargo points out a series of experiments done by two Princeton psychologists, who found that it only takes a tenth of a second to form an impression of a stranger’s face–and perhaps more surprisingly, getting to know that person better doesn’t often change those first impressions. On the plus side, longer exposures were found to increase confidence in a person’s judgments.
So why do first impressions matter?
Human nature isn’t always kind. The way we see a person’s facial appearance has a big effect on how we treat that person–and the way people see our faces directly affects how we get treated.
The fact is that people who are considered attractive tend to do better in nearly every aspect of their lives. Just look to the legal system for confirmation, Wargo says.
“People with ‘mature’ faces receive more severe judicial outcomes than ‘baby-faced’ people,” he writes. “And having a face that looks competent (as opposed to trustworthy or likeable) may matter a lot in whether a person gets elected to public office.”
I know, it’s not fair. There are plenty of physically beautiful people who are not so pretty on the inside, and there are plenty of amazing people who might not make the best first impression based on their appearance.
We’ve all had our off-days (or weeks or months) and I’m no exception. Personally, I gained a lot of weight during pregnancy and struggled to take it off–heck, I’m still working on those last few pounds.
But when my scale tipped out at my highest weight ever, I was very aware of the fact that I was being treated differently because of my appearance. People made assumptions about me that weren’t true–that I was not intelligent, that I was lazy, that I was not competent. It was very hurtful and frustrating, for sure, but definitely motivation to change and get back to being my fabulous self.
So, aside from being YOUR fabulous self, how can you make a great first impression every time? Just learn how to accentuate your assets and work what you’ve got.
Answer these questions to help you plan a positive and memorable first impression:
Do you smile and make eye contact?Your facial expressions can be an asset or a liability. A real smile is seen all over your face. It shows not only by the shape of your mouth but through your eyes. Do you genuinely smile when you meet others? Studies show that smiling faces are generally appear more attractive than those that are frowning or have a neutral look, and people will feel warmer toward a smiling person in most societies.
What do you say? When you first meet someone, are you very quiet? Do you just say, “Pleased to meet you,” or do you chatter on incessantly about whatever’s on your mind at the moment? Your social skills and ability to communicate determine how you come across when you first meet someone. Make your first verbal exchanges with people memorable. If one of your assets is that you can tell a good story, go ahead and tell one.
What kind of mood do you portray? Are you serious or funny? Do you look like you’re waiting for something to happen, like you want to fade into the wallpaper, or like the class clown? Your mood shows your personality to people and could make either a forgettable impression or a fantastic one that will precede you for years to come.
How do you look? In most situations, there’s no need to be dressed in the most expensive or trendiest fashion, but is your look clean and well put together? Or did you skip ironing your wrinkly shirt or hope that no one notices that you didn’t shave? Maybe you didn’t plan ahead what you were going to wear to an event and just threw on the first thing you grabbed. If you’re neat, clean, and your clothes reasonably decent-looking, you’re on the right track to making a positive impression. Find clothing that flatters you–not too tight or too loose, and find colors that work for your skin tone. Don’t be a slave to fashion, if that’s not your bag, but do consider current styles and pick up a few pieces to update your wardrobe each season if you can.
What kind of effort do you make? When getting to know someone, do you ask specific questions of the person to show your interest? Try finding common ground by asking how they know the host or what they do for a living.
What do you want people to remember about you? This might be the most insightful question of all. Who do you want to be? If you know the answer to this, you’ll be able to adjust your behaviors, mood, and appearance to give the impression you truly want to make. You can use your assets to make a well-considered statement about yourself.