“Dream as if you’ll live forever. Live as if you’ll die today.” ~ James Dean
Your life is a wonderful gift. Each day, you can do anything you want, any way you want, any time you want. You might be saying to yourself, “I seem to be caught in the humdrum of my life right now” or “I’m struggling to achieve my life goals. How can I get to a place where I can do whatever I want?”
The fact is that you’re choosing everything that’s happening now, even though you may feel stuck in your current life situation.
If you can imagine what you really want and allow your dreams to come to the surface of your mind, you can do great things. You have the power to achieve the life you’ve always wanted, simply by opening your mind to the dreams you may have been afraid to dream in the past.
This guide brings you 10 quotes that can change your life. They will help you create the incredible life that you aspire to live. Study each quote, reflect on the discussion, and then put the tips for each quote into action.
The quotations can be interpreted in many ways, so feel free to put your own spin on it. What does each quote mean to you?
Get ready. Your dream life is waiting for you to go after it.
“I was about half in love with her by the time we sat down. That’s the thing about girls. Every time they do something pretty… you fall half in love with them, and then you never know where the hell you are..” ~ J D Salinger
This post might also be entitled “how to make a whole room full of people fall in love with you” or “how to be incredibly irresistible to everyone you meet.”
We’ve all seen her. You know the one–the woman who can walk into any room and instantly have all eyes on her.
She doesn’t miss a beat and pretends not to notice the gazes of both approval and thinly veiled jealousy as she gracefully glides in and inserts herself into the most attractive group in the room, taking center stage as naturally as the rest of us breathe.
She makes it look effortless, being this amazing creature that captures the attention of everyone within a 50-foot radius–and you might wonder exactly how she does it.
Here’s the thing–she’s no different than you or me. In fact, if you look at her really closely, she is probably no more physically attractive either. The reason she seems so much brighter and sparklier than everyone else in the room actually has nothing to do with her perfectly styled look, hair or even the fact that her purple lipstick somehow makes her eyes seem much brighter blue.
Sometimes, she shows up in jeans and a pseudo-broken-in t-shirt, no makeup and her hair piled on top of her head–and still look completely freaking amazing. That bitch! No, no, I kid.
Then there are the times she appears as a plus-sized woman who somehow gets the attention of every hot guy who walks in her path–or as a 60-something southern girl who blows you away with her charm.
The point is that there are certain women who just happen to be the center of attention at every party. The bottom line is this: we all want to know how she does it, but not many of us are willing to walk up to her and ask her. But lucky for you, you’ve got ME, and I happen to be really into the whole sharing information thing.
Now to the meat of this post! I hope you’re sitting down–the secrets are about to spill.
Wear the right outfit. The right outfit will vary from woman to woman and party to party, but generally, consider the following tips when choosing your look.
The kind of occasion. If it’s a formal event or a back-yard BBQ, there is a certain type of attire that is most likely appropriate. Unless you’re into negative attention, try to keep your outfit reasonably appropriate to the occasion.
Coordination of color. If you’re going to be in a darkened room, then you’ll want to wear a brighter color if you hope to be seen, provided the occasion allows it. If you’re going to be in a well-lit room, you might still consider brighter color(s), but you might add patterns or other small details to the look. And as always, be sure the colors you choose are the ones that make you look the best.
The hotness factor. Look, sometimes it’s not okay to walk around with your boobs hanging out. And sometimes, the whole “more is less” thing is legit. The fact is that you can be SUPER HOT without being a SUPER HO. No kidding. So again, appropriately hot.
Your personal brand of hot. As important as being appropriate for any occasion is the fact that you need to do what works best for you personally. That is, find the right look for your body, your personality and your overall preferred image. This will obviously vary from person to person based on individual factors, and there’s really no wrong brand of hot–it’s all about what makes you feel confident, beautiful and comfortable. Don’t be afraid to try on several outfits and take photos to see which looks the best.
Get the Attention
Here’s where it gets interesting. The thing is that a confident woman will always grab the attention of a less confident one, eventually, regardless of which of the two is more physically attractive by societal standards. Like the southern belle I recently met proves, a woman’s personality is at least 80 percent of her hotness.
Ask any guy what’s the sexiest quality about a woman that you can’t see in a photo, and he’ll tell you it’s her ability to be self-confident, to be herself or to be “real” with him. So how do you get the attention of a whole roomful of people? Try these tips.
Work the Room
When you enter a room, be sure to make your way around the room and greet everyone you see (or at least those you know) before settling into any particular crowd. That’ll give you the lay of the land and give you an idea of where you want to spend the most time—or you might choose to keep floating all evening. There’s nothing wrong with mingling–or even bringing together groups of people who didn’t know each other before!
You’re Never Fully Dressed Without a Smile
You probably don’t realize how significantly a smile can change your world, but try something for me. Tomorrow, or the next time you’re out in public, make an effort to meet the eyes and smile at everyone you pass. If that’s too much for you, then try smiling at 10 people throughout the day. You’ll be pleasantly surprised when you discover the amazing effect it has on you (and those around you!).
Be Quick With a Joke and to Light Up a Smoke
You don’t really have to light anyone’s cigarette, but the idea is that you show up at every party with a few key tricks up your sleeve.
A couple of (appropriately) funny stories and/or jokes—if you come prepared to be funny, you’ll find that people just flock to you. This may seem a bit “calculated,” but the truth is that most attention-grabbing women are way more calculated than they appear.
A catchphrase or schtick—this one is optional, but tends to make people remember you. Come up with a cute little phrase, expression or idea that you can share throughout the evening to sort of “brand” yourself,. You’ll be unforgettable.
Make a Grand Entrance
Maybe this seems old-fashioned, but show up a few minutes after everyone else and don’t enter quietly (when it’s appropriate!). When you employ the outfit and confidence tips outlined above, the grand entrance is easy to accomplish.
Listen Like Your Life Depends On It
Here’s the biggest secret to being absolutely irresistable: nearly ALL people, male and female love someone who is genuinely interested in THEM—so the best way to get attention is to be genuinely interested in the people you’re partying with! Find out what makes them tick, what makes them smile—anything they’re willing to share, and hang on every word. When you speak to them again, use the material they shared to spark up a new conversation.
What are your best tips for how to be the center of attention at every party? Share them in the comments section, below!
The following is a list of affirmations and reflection questions to help you stay focused on our 30 Days of Gratitude Challenge.
I give thanks daily for my focus in life.
I am confident in my ability to achieve my goals. Each day, I live with presence and conviction and, therefore, make good on my dreams. For this, I am intensely grateful.
I know that I can have what I want! All I need to do is focus. I put forth my intention and my dreams and desires are made manifest.
Focus is the biggest secret to my success. I pay close attention to what I want and then devote my energy to accomplishing my dreams.
Sometimes, achieving my goals requires greater effort than at other times. When this is the case, I am particularly thankful for my focus. Sustained effort requires motivation and motivation requires remembering why I am willing to put in some hard work. But when I focus on my goals, motivation comes easily.
If I feel distracted or scattered, I take a few moments to close my eyes and just breathe. I notice the sensations of my feet on the floor and my hands resting on my lap.
This simple exercise renews my focus by bringing me into the present moment. And when I am fully present, I feel gratitude for where I am and how far I have come.
Today, I make time to contemplate my many accomplishments. I am thankful for my focus in life, which enables me to have all that I want.
I seek out opportunities to cultivate this gratitude by paying attention to my deepest desires and pursuing them devotedly.
Self-Reflection Questions:
1. What are some of the things I have accomplished in the last year?
2. To what do I attribute these successes?
3. Are there aspects of my life that could benefit from greater focus?
“If you can dream it, then you can achieve it. You will get all you want in life if you help enough other people get what they want.” ~Zig Ziglar
Good news, people. You can be anything you want to be–and as Mr. Ziglar said, if you can dream it you can achieve it!
Take a moment for yourself. Sit back, relax and allow yourself to dream for a bit about whom you’d like to be and what you’d really like to do with your life.
If you could simply paint an image of who you want to be, what would that look like? Free-association like this can be incredibly helpful in realizing your goals.
Spend some highly productive time meditating on your dreams with these strategies:
1. Find a quiet time and place. This will be somewhere where you can reflect without interruption. You might take a walk in the park or a bike ride for an hour. Maybe you’ll choose to lay out on a blanket under that big shade tree in your back yard.
2. Focus on what makes you happy. Think positive thoughts. Think about what you wanted to be when you were 10, 15, and 20. Was it the same occupation or way of life at each stage of your development? Or were you always coming up with something new you wanted to do?
3. Think about your deepest desires. What do you really want? Do you want to have a lot of money and travel the world? Or just settle down and have a family? Maybe you picture yourself surrounded by many close friends with whom you spend a lot of your spare time. Maybe your preferred way to live is an independent, quiet lifestyle alone with your books, paints, and hobbies. Whatever–just “do you.”
4. Visualize your living space.Focus on what you’ve got in your living space that is GOOD. Where you live largely determines the kind of life you have. Living in a warm southern climate means you can be more physically active in warm weather year round. If you live in an apartment in the middle of the big city, you might live a life filled with wall to wall people, ethnic foods, and cultural experiences of all kinds. There’s rarely any quiet and you’re incredibly active, partaking of all that city life has to offer. A rural setting, on the other hand, provides its own sense of stability. You enjoy nature frequently. The sights, sounds, and smells of plants, animals, and the four seasons surround you as you walk or work outdoors. Stress levels are lower.
5. Make a wish, take a chance and break away (from your old, negative thoughts). You might think that making a wish is just for kids. But for the sake of this exercise, if you could have just one wish for your life, what would it be? To be a husband someday? To be a mother? To travel to a few exotic countries you’ve wanted to see? To be an accountant or small business owner? Your wish will reveal a lot about you and what you desire.
6. Dream about your ideal career–or, if you’re already there, dream about taking it to the next level. Continuing to paint the picture of who you would choose to be, where would you be working? What kind of job credentials would you hold? What would you be like in that situation? Because work is almost one-third of your life, consider your career choice as profoundly integral to your happiness.
7. Get your planning on–let’s go! Now that you’ve reflected on your life and who you’d like to be, how close is your actual life to your desires? What can you do to help yourself become who and what you want to be?
You deserve to live the life you choose. Reflect on who and what you want to be. Let your mind go for a bit. Then, ask yourself what you want for yourself. Think about where you’d prefer to live. Think about the career you’d have if you could do it all over again.
Finally, ask yourself what you will need to do to get to the place of your dreams, physically, emotionally, and career-wise. You can be anything you want to be. Make some effort now to find out who that really is.
What do you think? Share your thoughts and experiences in the comments section, below.
“It’s pretty simple, pretty obvious: that people’s first impressions of people are really a big mistake.” ~Vincent D’Onofrio
Whether it’s right or wrong, research shows that people generally form their “first impression” of you within a matter of a seconds of meeting you for the first time.
“Forget whatever figure you may have heard,” Wargo writes. “Not to intimidate you, if you happen to be preparing for a job or grad school interview, or a blind date, but new research shows that you may need to have your act together in the blink of an eye.”
Wargo points out a series of experiments done by two Princeton psychologists, who found that it only takes a tenth of a second to form an impression of a stranger’s face–and perhaps more surprisingly, getting to know that person better doesn’t often change those first impressions. On the plus side, longer exposures were found to increase confidence in a person’s judgments.
So why do first impressions matter?
Human nature isn’t always kind. The way we see a person’s facial appearance has a big effect on how we treat that person–and the way people see our faces directly affects how we get treated.
The fact is that people who are considered attractive tend to do better in nearly every aspect of their lives. Just look to the legal system for confirmation, Wargo says.
“People with ‘mature’ faces receive more severe judicial outcomes than ‘baby-faced’ people,” he writes. “And having a face that looks competent (as opposed to trustworthy or likeable) may matter a lot in whether a person gets elected to public office.”
I know, it’s not fair. There are plenty of physically beautiful people who are not so pretty on the inside, and there are plenty of amazing people who might not make the best first impression based on their appearance.
We’ve all had our off-days (or weeks or months) and I’m no exception. Personally, I gained a lot of weight during pregnancy and struggled to take it off–heck, I’m still working on those last few pounds.
But when my scale tipped out at my highest weight ever, I was very aware of the fact that I was being treated differently because of my appearance. People made assumptions about me that weren’t true–that I was not intelligent, that I was lazy, that I was not competent. It was very hurtful and frustrating, for sure, but definitely motivation to change and get back to being my fabulous self.
So, aside from being YOUR fabulous self, how can you make a great first impression every time? Just learn how to accentuate your assets and work what you’ve got.
Answer these questions to help you plan a positive and memorable first impression:
Do you smile and make eye contact?Your facial expressions can be an asset or a liability. A real smile is seen all over your face. It shows not only by the shape of your mouth but through your eyes. Do you genuinely smile when you meet others? Studies show that smiling faces are generally appear more attractive than those that are frowning or have a neutral look, and people will feel warmer toward a smiling person in most societies.
What do you say? When you first meet someone, are you very quiet? Do you just say, “Pleased to meet you,” or do you chatter on incessantly about whatever’s on your mind at the moment? Your social skills and ability to communicate determine how you come across when you first meet someone. Make your first verbal exchanges with people memorable. If one of your assets is that you can tell a good story, go ahead and tell one.
What kind of mood do you portray? Are you serious or funny? Do you look like you’re waiting for something to happen, like you want to fade into the wallpaper, or like the class clown? Your mood shows your personality to people and could make either a forgettable impression or a fantastic one that will precede you for years to come.
How do you look? In most situations, there’s no need to be dressed in the most expensive or trendiest fashion, but is your look clean and well put together? Or did you skip ironing your wrinkly shirt or hope that no one notices that you didn’t shave? Maybe you didn’t plan ahead what you were going to wear to an event and just threw on the first thing you grabbed. If you’re neat, clean, and your clothes reasonably decent-looking, you’re on the right track to making a positive impression. Find clothing that flatters you–not too tight or too loose, and find colors that work for your skin tone. Don’t be a slave to fashion, if that’s not your bag, but do consider current styles and pick up a few pieces to update your wardrobe each season if you can.
What kind of effort do you make? When getting to know someone, do you ask specific questions of the person to show your interest? Try finding common ground by asking how they know the host or what they do for a living.
What do you want people to remember about you? This might be the most insightful question of all. Who do you want to be? If you know the answer to this, you’ll be able to adjust your behaviors, mood, and appearance to give the impression you truly want to make. You can use your assets to make a well-considered statement about yourself.
One thing is for sure: all your life, you’ll have opportunities to meet new people and make an impression. Plan now to make the most of your assets. You just might be unforgettable.
What are your best tips for making a great first impression? Share your thoughts in the comments section, below!
Your life is a wonderful gift. Each day, you can do anything you want, any way you want, any time you want. You might be saying to yourself, “I seem to be caught in the humdrum of my life right now” or “I’m struggling to achieve my life goals. How can I get to a place where I can do whatever I want?”
“If you can dream it, then you can achieve it. You will get all you want in life if you help enough other people get what they want.” ~Zig Ziglar
